MY TRIP TO THE MALL

grandpa_shig · July 2005

dudes, i went to the mall today. yes, the motherfucking mall. i got hoodwinked, see. i mean, i had to run an errand and a friend from work drove and was all like "you want to like get something to eat" and im like "ok" and he's like "like, i totally know a good spot" so i was all like "ok" and before i knew it, there i was. at the motherfucking mall bitches. first we drive around in circles in the motherfucking parking lot all the while im stewing inside. how did i get into this predicament? yeah, then we enter through macy's and i get accosted by the pefume lady and she's all like "would you like to try the new fragrance from tommy hilfigger?" and im like "bitch, jump back" and get into the ross hogg school of karate defense stance and bitch slap her with the bottom of my foot.we finally make our way to the mall proper and to the fine culinary food court. you got your dried up sbarro pizza. your molten panda express. hot dog on a motherfucking stick bitches. and, lo and behold a lil socal number called "california surf and turf" or some shit where they make like totally awesome smoothies bro. such irony, no? yeah, well that was my trip. my hommie was all like i want some dippin dots and at that point i had it. the motherfucking mall