THAT ANNOYING OLD DUDE CRUSTY DUMB DIGGER (RR)
mylatency
10,475 Posts
Post up about the annoying crusty dudes, beatle or not Beatles collectros (usually Beatleheads though) who frequent your shows/haunts/spots/spiderholes/secret stores/thrifts/swaps/fleas. There is this long haired shaggy fat balding fat ass fukin burnt our rocker divorcee loser who is a total douche who always chats up other like minded burnt out rocker fuckheads at a few spots I conveniently run into him at. He looks like that really fat film critic guy or something, just really disgusting burnt out wearing hard rock shirts old jeans and bad white sneakers or something. Totally unshaven probably eats like Arby's Roast Beef french dip everyday. Usually New Balance all white, ugh. He is a total dumbass and was literally going off about how old posters of lil abner and crap were collectible, and some old timey closed down non existent stores and then talking non stop running his mouth and then trying to grip hard and talk to other dudes about some crap. Holy cow this dude needs to just shut up. Oh yeah what else did he talk about? The Thermin and the history of it's creator like for 10 minutes nonstop and how you could buy the DVD for $12. OMG, kill me now. He also pined for another old burnt local dude's collection/storage, which I know for a fact was sold off, but apprently he didn't know and he was just wishing he could buy them or something it was definitely dumb. What kinds of old heads are grippin the dixieland jazz out of your hands? What do you say to them? I am serious.
Comments
This other one my friends and I call "huckleberry finn" cos he literally looks like he stepped out of Tom Sawyer but he is losing his teeth, hair, and wears really too big flannel shirts, chewing on a straw or grass and a floppy hat. He has a pontyail and bad skin, had a heart attack recently and is back on the scene hunting for records of course. God bless 'em. sike.
I heard him say "I really wish I could find a Sun Ra record" really loud once. ugh.
Conveniently they only buy hard rock and don't know a shred about quality private jazz soul funk usually. It's serious.
- Dresses poorly, like they stopped caring in '88 with bad chunky white tennies and ripped up jeans and bad rock shirt, usually metal
- In dire need of a haircut, shave, bath (usually all 3)
- Won't stop running their mouth about old collectibles, missed opportunities in life/collecting/their divorce/the beatles (usually in that order)
- Talks about making money off laserdiscs on eBay
- Knows every bad mainstream rock song from 1950-1990
- Wishes they could find more rock records
- Grips your NPS2 Satanic Majesties like it was the holy grail
- Wears very nerdy non hipster glasses
- Drives an old beat up truck
- Talks about record shows
- Talks loudly
- Grips dixieland
- Eats fast food, their gut shows
- Can't bend down or intercept crates as quickly as you (see above, weight issues)
- Mouth breather, loses breath / can't catch breath when lifting a small pile of records
add on...
also see: quality venting time
serious
haha nice one.
I don't even understand that business model, and this is coming from the king of the instant def leop. collectrion. So seirous. I can sort of understand the reel to reel craze (I know a couple that make $$$$$$$ off reels, accessories, equipment and audiophile headz),
but the laserdisc market? ugh.
They always have the loudest table, with their little
Sanyo DVD/TV combo speakers blaring while crustmongers
with Taco Bell in their beards gape at Fabian screen test
raer DVD hot garbage action. I approach these dudes occasionally
looking for Future Shock, but their whole steez is repellant.
BOOTLEG DVD TABLE = TEMPLE OF CRUST
FUNNY, SAD & TRUE
DEALT
THANK GOD THESE DUDES ARE NOT AT THE SD SHOW. AL GARTH RUNS A NICE SHIP.
Seriously, the closest I've seen of this is the dude with the Quad catalog binder haggling with me on the Doors Quad I priced at $5
Oooh I hear rain, no digging in the morning probably, yay.
who has had the same exact records every time I've gone
in the past 5 years was sitting behind his table eating
Chef Boy-R-Dee Beefaroni cold from the can. I was a little
baked and not really with it, so first I stepped to his table
and started flipping, it took 5 records in before I realized
whose table it was and looked up ready to walk away and when
I saw him shovel that cold goop out of the can, jagged lid
still hanging on by a sliver, and place it in his mouth, I
reflexively exclaimed out loud "EW" - he turned and sort of
sneered at me through a mouthful of horsemeat, jaws working.
The record shows make me feel unclean & part of a misfit cult.
It's okay, we're here to help.
There's this one dude at the local show who insists on setting up this weird display built out of wood that's kind of like an easel that holds up his crust 2nd state $1700 price tagged bagged G- LPs...kind of behind where I usually set up...anyhow, someone always ends up knocking it down during the show. It is flimsy.
damn, why you gotta do ol B*rt like that?
may i confess i havent bought a record in months.
What 12 step program did you sign up for? how much did it cost? serious
have
no
more
room.
im due
for a huuuge purge of some "somdeay i'll sample
this" bulllsh it
that'a boy
The program is called soulseek. Thanks to it, I probably won't buy a single record in 2008.
NO MORE BRAEKS IN '08
It's funny you keep mentioning "divorce," 'cause most of the guys I've observed like that don't appear to have ever had a GHOST of a love life at all...
I know this dude too, he flosses a blank cheque from brian wilson to me and can't stop bemusing about the potential value of autographs, his favorite focus; contemplating about the ones he almost aquired.
He's got a fish brain mouth and will go on over and over again about dennis wilson picking up the manson family girls and bonnie bramlett punching elvis costello and the kidnapped leon theremin. Theres another beach boys maniac I know too who'll end up goin' on and on, and the easiest way to end the conversations with both of them is to just talk about how big of a pussy Mike Love is. They attribute anyone ever calling them soft for liking the Beach Boys to Mike Love and they'll just go, 'yeah that guys an asshole!' and they set me free. I think the statement alone gives them the same release theyre looking for by telling me the same story again.
Rock-A-Delic????
As "that" old digger the most amusing thing about this thread is knowing that every single one of you suckers are well on their way to one day being............."that" old digger!!!