The last conversation that left you speechless...

john_doe

Dumbass coworker: "Whatcha listening to?"Me: "Sadat X."Dumbass coworker: "WHO?!!"Me: "Sadat X, you know, from Brand Nubian. Remember 'All for one...and one for all...'"Dumbass coworker: "Do he have money?!"

djanna

well, DO he?

edith head

am i the only one that thinks soulstrut has been :killin it: this past month?

shooterali

"Homie of mine tells me his GF is bi polar & is on the verge of killing him if he packs up/ takes their 9 month old daughter to North Carolina". All this said while she stared out the window at us!!!

sabadabada

i was interviewing for a summer associate position at C*h**l G****n and I asked "when you start as an associate do you get assigned to a certain team, or do you get the opportunity to work with a lot of partners on different matters?" And the response was "Its like when you go to the corner to pick up day laborers, and you might want to pick the strongest guy, or the tallest guy depending on the job. The partners come down and find out who is available and thats who you work for."

The guy must have noticed the expression on my face, becuase the interview nose-dived from there.

rootlesscosmo

you don't wanna work for Cahill anyway.

sabadabada

one of our students, Lisa S, no thats too obvious, lets just call her L. Simpson.

ariel_calmer

The last conversation that left me at a loss for words was when my landlord revealed himself to be a flaming, unapologetic racist.

The other apartment in our split house had been up for rent for a month or two after the last tenants moved out. He comes by to clean up the place, and we get to talking.

I ask how the search for new renters was going, and he said there had been people looking, but (out of nowhere) "I won't rent to black people. They'll bring all their friends over and have parties." I said something like, "wait... what?" and he replied "I don't like n*ggers.... I'm a racist."

This is in LONG BEACH, a hugely diverse city, and he has a hispanic wife. As racist as some of the people I've met are, I've never ever had any of them calmly say "I'm a racist." Completely surreal.

So I was getting heated and he said it was because he's a vet and had some bad war experiences, and he didn't hate black people, just n*ggers (?).

I said I don't care, even if you are my landlord. Keep that OUT OF my house. I said it reminded me of how people made jokes and generalizations about poles (because I am part polish and went to poland on a roots style journey) and he was like, "oh, I'd never say anything bad about the polish." Okay... but...??? Missing the larger picture here.

Anyhow my wife had to intervene, I walked away and haven't dealt with him more than I have to since.

indeed.

sabadabada

"oh, I'd never say anything bad about the polish."

classic.

jaymack

one of my co-workers, while talking to her, revealed that she still produced milk in her boobs. her kid is prob over a year old. she then proceeded to take a breast out, and squeeze a nipple. sure enough....

ariel_calmer

one of my co-workers, while talking to her, revealed that she still produced milk in her boobs. her kid is prob over a year old. she then proceeded to take a breast out, and squeeze a nipple. sure enough....

Or... is it?

The_Non

one of my co-workers, while talking to her, revealed that she still produced milk in her boobs. her kid is prob over a year old. she then proceeded to take a breast out, and squeeze a nipple. sure enough....

Still looking for the problem with this...

Pony

Still looking for the problem with this...

DocMcCoy

am i the only one that thinks soulstrut has been :killin it: this past month?

Nope.

shooterali

one of my co-workers, while talking to her, revealed that she still produced milk in her boobs. her kid is prob over a year old. she then proceeded to take a breast out, and squeeze a nipple. sure enough....

Still looking for the problem with this...

I know, milk does the body good

jaymack

Still looking for the problem with this...

well, it left me speechless.
that shit just wasnt sexy to me.

Guzzo

one of my co-workers, while talking to her, revealed that she still produced milk in her boobs. her kid is prob over a year old. she then proceeded to take a breast out, and squeeze a nipple. sure enough....

Still looking for the problem with this...

I know, milk does the body good

was it from her 3rd nipple or something?

FunkyMmoniker

At my job yesterday an older gentleman and his wife came in and asked where the phones were, I said "right back there by the bathroom sign"...the old man then says "and where is your bathroom?"....I was speechless for a moment, and then told him "back by the telephones" Senior citizens crack me up sometimes

sabadabada

senior joke:

two old retired couples are playing bridge together. The ladies go into the kitchen to make some sandwiches and the one old man says to the other, "It Mabel's birthday this saturday and I want to take her to a nice restaurant." The second man says "Oh, we went to a beautiful restaurant last week, but I just can't remember the name of it...What is the name of that flower, you know the one that's red and has thorns?" And the first man says, "You mean a rose?" And the second guy says, "Yeah, thats it ... HEY ROSE, WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THAT RESTUARANT WE WENT TO LAST WEEK?!!?!!"

mrmatthew

I had this insane conversation with the aging hippie / boomer guy I work with.
He used to be really into chastising others about thier S.U.Vs or trucks for destroying the planet. That is untill he went and bought himself a new Honda Pickup Truck. Which no one even knew he had because for the first few weeks he had it, he parked down the street so no one would see him driving it. So he finally started parking it in our lot and someone called him on it and now he feels the need to justify it/himself to everyone in the office and today was my turn. The dude is such a nutjob that these conversations always veer off into his rants about how illegal imigration is also to blame for global warming (this is a not too uncommon position around here).

ariel_calmer

I had this insane conversation with the aging hippie / boomer guy I work with.
He used to be really into chastising others about thier S.U.Vs or trucks for destroying the planet. That is untill he went and bought himself a new Honda Pickup Truck. Which no one even knew he had because for the first few weeks he had it, he parked down the street so no one would see him driving it. So he finally started parking it in our lot and someone called him on it and now he feels the need to justify it/himself to everyone in the office and today was my turn. The dude is such a nutjob that these conversations always veer off into his rants about how illegal imigration is also to blame for global warming (this is a not too uncommon position around here).

Does he use his gas-guzzling vehicle to truck around illegal immigrants or something??

Guzzo

I had this insane conversation with the aging hippie / boomer guy I work with.
He used to be really into chastising others about thier S.U.Vs or trucks for destroying the planet. That is untill he went and bought himself a new Honda Pickup Truck. Which no one even knew he had because for the first few weeks he had it, he parked down the street so no one would see him driving it. So he finally started parking it in our lot and someone called him on it and now he feels the need to justify it/himself to everyone in the office and today was my turn. The dude is such a nutjob that these conversations always veer off into his rants about how illegal imigration is also to blame for global warming (this is a not too uncommon position around here).

Does he use his gas-guzzling vehicle to truck around illegal immigrants or something??

I beleive the problem is that the newer illegal immigrants aren't hybrids yet and therefore pollute just as much as the old ones did.

Have you brought up the idea of carbon immigrant trading?

gravelheadwrap

I was in this record store that I hardly go into due to its massive amounts of southern rock and never getting anything new in the other day. The owner's buddy comes in and just starts going off on how this city is full of niggers. Nigger this nigger that. "The Cigarette Outlet up the street is like being in Chicago." "There are only 200 fucking white people left in this city."

The guy went on and on and I thought he was drunk, but he totally wasn't. Right before he left he was all pissed that he hadn't had anything to drink yet. Not even lying, he kept saying "Git-r-dun" every other sentence. WOW




Another more lighter one, hearing my supervisor and a friend come into the store and they just keep saying "yep" and "uh huh" after each other would say something. Its like the conversation was going nowhere, I couldn't stop laughing. It was like something out of King of the Hill.

knewjak

Yesterday a co-worker tells us... "when Im driving on the highway, all the time, people are tailgaiting me, flicking me off, yelling, and etc becuase they think I drive too slow. Why dont they just past me?".
We later discover that homeboy is driving in the left lane! And we explain that you can only pass on the right. He then claims that he doesnt care, it is his right to be there, and that he wont move purely out of spite.
At this point the whole office is in total disbelief and beside themselves in anger, because here we were, having a converstation with THAT guy. The same guy we have all encountered on the highway, and here he was telling us 'I dont care'.

...I'd really hate to know what ends up in his coffee over the next few weeks.

ariel_calmer

Yesterday a co-worker tells us... "when Im driving on the highway, all the time, people are tailgaiting me, flicking me off, yelling, and etc becuase they think I drive too slow. Why dont they just past me?".
We later discover that homeboy is driving in the left lane! And we explain that you can only pass on the right. He then claims that he doesnt care, it is his right to be there, and that he wont move purely out of spite.
At this point the whole office is in total disbelief and beside themselves in anger, because here we were, having a converstation with THAT guy. The same guy we have all encountered on the highway, and here he was telling us 'I dont care'.

...I'd really hate to know what ends up in his coffee over the next few weeks.

THAT GUY!

He is why we can't have an autobahn in America.

FunkyMmoniker

Give him some visine in his coffe before he leaves work, I promise he won't be driving slow on the way home

ajraffles

i was interviewing for a summer associate position at C*h**l G****n and I asked "when you start as an associate do you get assigned to a certain team, or do you get the opportunity to work with a lot of partners on different matters?" And the response was "Its like when you go to the corner to pick up day laborers, and you might want to pick the strongest guy, or the tallest guy depending on the job. The partners come down and find out who is available and thats who you work for."

The guy must have noticed the expression on my face, becuase the interview nose-dived from there.

Perchance did the interview proceed to nosedive because you were literally struck dumb (in keeping with the thread's title) by the interviewer's comments?!

- J

DJ_Enki

Yesterday a co-worker tells us... "when Im driving on the highway, all the time, people are tailgaiting me, flicking me off, yelling, and etc becuase they think I drive too slow. Why dont they just past me?".
We later discover that homeboy is driving in the left lane! And we explain that you can only pass on the right. He then claims that he doesnt care, it is his right to be there, and that he wont move purely out of spite.
At this point the whole office is in total disbelief and beside themselves in anger, because here we were, having a converstation with THAT guy. The same guy we have all encountered on the highway, and here he was telling us 'I dont care'.

...I'd really hate to know what ends up in his coffee over the next few weeks.

Dude, I fuckin' hate THAT GUY, and I'm not even a particularly fast driver.

sabadabada

i was interviewing for a summer associate position at C*h**l G****n and I asked "when you start as an associate do you get assigned to a certain team, or do you get the opportunity to work with a lot of partners on different matters?" And the response was "Its like when you go to the corner to pick up day laborers, and you might want to pick the strongest guy, or the tallest guy depending on the job. The partners come down and find out who is available and thats who you work for."

The guy must have noticed the expression on my face, becuase the interview nose-dived from there.

Perchance did the interview proceed to nosedive because you were literally struck dumb (in keeping with the thread's title) by the interviewer's comments?!

- J

my eyes got wide and my mouth opened up and when it was my turn to talk I dont even know what i said. I mean first it was pretty offensive, what if i had been an unatainable latina goddess? Second, i would rather not be looked upon by the partners as a day laborer.

brokenrecord

Still looking for the problem with this...

well, it left me speechless.
that shit just wasnt sexy to me.

Yeah, cuz it's so creepy when breasts do what they're evolved over a millenia to do. Doesn't that moron realize breasts aren't for milk? They're for men's viewing pleasure - which, for some reason, milk interferes with. Yeah.

day

Give him some visine in his coffe

Or don't:

http://www.snopes.com/medical/myths/visine.asp