When is the last time you forgave someone?
Guzzo
8,611 Posts
To forgive is divineId like to think that over the last few months I've had a lot of humbling experiences and many people whom I held grudges towards ended up being very helpful in this time, some of these people were even here on soulstrut. Those that I had grudges against had to deal with my asshole attitude towards them and looked past it to offer me some real help when I needed it.I've lived most of my adult life with the mantra of "forgive but never forget" but I've come to realize that never forgetting is lying to yourself about not holding a grudge.Recently I've forgave those tat put me through thier personal drug hell, their selfish ways, and forgiven myself for being a man with some fucked up beliefs on how one should operate within this world.So for all you hardheaded blowhards out there, when did you last let go of some hate and forgive someone?
Comments
It's pretty much in my nature to forgive people. But not until I'm ready.
If someone is sincere, what is gained by NOT forgiving them?
If someone doesn't KNOW you're pissed, what is gained by staying mad?
These are the things that I have to remind myself of all the time. That, and just because you have forgiven someone does not make them an integral part of your life. Sometimes all parties benefit from just moving on. But that anger part that people love to hold on to, that's what causes all the stress....all the forgiveness in the world won't help if you can't let go of that anger.
Indeed. You do yourself a disservice by perpetuating your own unhappiness. As the saying goes, "living well is the best revenge."
To me forgiving someone after I get some shit off my chest is the next natural step because I really really really really like the sense of resolution. It takes a lot of energy to hold grudges, and keep hating people. I noticed the best cure for this is to speak with them directly or keep yourself busy so that these issues become nothing but trivialities in your daily life. Ofcourse, easier said than done sometimes.
I wish I could tell you someone I have forgiven. I don't hold many grudges and I am very accepting, kinda, sometimes. Recently I find I am becoming more of a curmudgeon. So little things that people do irritate me, but then I'm good.
So does this mean that you and Shig are friends again?
I don't know, I haven't spoken to shiggy in a while but I'd have no problem buying him a beer and getting down to some Bell Biv Devoe karaoke with him if the opportunity arose
that's real. i recognize myself in this.
i might actually forgive you for clowning me because of that jaylib thread.....
"To err is human" is the important part of that pope quote Guzzo.
- spidey
That's the way I see it. I really don't have the time to hold anger and resentment against people as I go through life. Obviously the nature of the original grudge will come into play but the world's a big place and it's far easier to at least get along in a civilised manner or, if that's not possible, avoid the person. Storing up shit almost always ends in a whole heap of not a good look.
I find taking this attitude in day to day life pays dividends the other way too in that you get a lot less vendettas thrown in your direction.
If you walked in on your wife of 20 years riding the shit out of some other guys dick, you'd forgive her?? not that i'd want revenge and i'm not the jealous type, but i'd never forgive her for doing that. This is a lil to philosophical for me as maybe lack the religion aspect of it all. I think you need a lil bit of religion in life to practice constant forgiveness.
Let me say to everyone that when I argue with you in a thread it does not mean I hate you. I just disagree with something you said in a thread or a view you hold. I come from a family that disagrees about what color the sky is and will argue about it for hours, but we love each other.
I will not disagree with your taste in music because I disagree with your politics. Just because I disagree with your views on health care does not mean I will bait you when we are talking about education.
To all you strutters out there that I have argued with, I still you love you baby.
not so true I'm not a religious guy; if anything I'm an agnostic who seems to be coming to more of a atheist conclusion.
the only faith I feel I need is that faith in myself and those I choose to keep in my life. If my wife cheated on me and I caught her red handed I'd most likely be angry, but my reaction says a lot about me and not her action.
what inspired this thread is that I forgave someone that I met for a public insult. It was not someone I thought I'd ever be face-to-face with but I realized that harboring anger towards him and his past actions wasn't going to get anything done.
...and damn it felt good to do so
What if she told you she was not "riding the shit out of some other guys dick"? Would you believe her or your eyes? I'd believe my wife.
Forgiveness is cool and all, but I want to hear more about this practice of meeting people for public insults. Is it something one marks on one's calendar? Perhaps with a star or exclamation point?
It's such a ridiculous example--infidelity is a small thing in the face of what it takes to make a twenty-year relationship work.
in my private mind garden I hold public insult press conferences in the section known as "the courtyard". Only major figures are allowed to speak.
afterwards I hold private meetings with my alter egos and we discuss weather we should forgive these figures for their insults.
we almost never agree, but this one time we all decided we should tell this guy we understand and we don't hold any anger against him.
Next courtyard event is Wednesday 3:30pm EST. I don't know if I'll have time to send you a pass but you're definitely invited
To forgive is divine
To forget is stupid
i hold a grudge like a microphone