Words of wisdom for a little dude

empanadamnempanadamn 1,462 Posts
edited May 2007 in Strut Central
My nephew is graduating from high school outside of Dallas, Texas at the end of this month. I was hoping to offer him some words of wisdom, encouragement, inspiration, etc. after his commencement. We have a pretty good relationship, and stay in decent contact, despite me living out of state. He seems more like a little brother than anything else. What's strange is that he reminds me of myself at that age. Kinda scary.Something that I've impressed upon him is that the world is a lot different than what he's experieced growing up in Texas. I encourage him to try different things, and meet different people. Upon graduating, I've promised him the opportunity to travel anywhere* he wants in the world for a week (*that I can afford), or the chance to come kick it with me in NYC for a month. At any rate, my intention is to spark his interest in learning something new - about a different place, culture, language, food, activities. Overall, I want to allow an outlet for him to escape what he's surrounded by in hopes that he won't become a townie. He's not that great of a student, and is considering going the technical school route with automotive repair. Not something that I necessarily promote, but I support what he's focused on doing. Is there any knowledge that you wish someone would have bestowed upon you at a younger age? What sort of experiences would you share with yourself if you could got back in time?Please drop knowledge jewelz. Much appreciation in advance.
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  Comments


  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    He's not that great of a student, and is considering going the technical school route with automotive repair. Not something that I necessarily promote, but I support what he's focused on doing.

    Personally, I would encourage his technical schooling while encouraging him to also persue more diverse interests(and to not close the door on the idea of community college and liberal arts education down the line). It's always good to have technical training in something he can take with him wherever he goes(or stays, for that matter), and there is no expiration date on when he can further or deepen his education.

    Sounds like he is lucky to have someone who has a vested interest in him and I hope he takes advantage of the opportunity you are offering. Props to you.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Read a book.
    Watch less TV.
    Dont Follow your friends. All that time you put into their ideas could be put towards your ideas.
    Wear a condom.
    McDonalds isnt food.
    Read another book.
    Look a man in the eye.
    Dont eat too many Girl Scout Cookies.

  • yoigotbeatsyoigotbeats 1,667 Posts
    being right isn't always enough.
    have an opinion but be prepared & willing to change your opinion.
    do what you say you're going to do.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Something that I've impressed upon him is that the world is a lot different than what he's experieced growing up in Texas. I encourage him to try different things, and meet different people.

    "I've met many people over the years
    And in my opinion I have found that
    People are the same everywhere
    They have the same fears
    Shed similar tears
    Die in so many years"[/b]

  • PABLOPABLO 1,921 Posts
    Everybody has something to teach you.

  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts
    My best friend in High School really struggled with schoolwork. He barely graduated and after school went to a tech program for IT stuff. He sort of moved from job to job for a while with no real goals. He ended up working at a hospital assisting an MRI tech. It got him really interested in medical science. He is now finishing up his Pre-Med studies now and is getting ready for the MCAT.

    My point is some people need time to mature after high school before they are ready for higher education. Tech school might be a good place for your nephew to start, but he should not rule out higher education later in life. It???s never too late. I would encourage him not to get tied down with car payments and a mortgage for a while. That is the kind of stuff that really locks you into a job you might not really want and keeps you from trying new things. It???s great you are encouraging travel and such. I learned more traveling than I ever learned in school.

  • twoplytwoply Only Built 4 Manzanita Links 2,914 Posts
    I would encourage him not to get tied down with car payments and a mortgage for a while. That is the kind of stuff that really locks you into a job you might not really want and keeps you from trying new things.


    This is key. I can't tell you how many people I've worked with who hated their jobs (and subsequently their lives), but couldn't leave due to overwhelming debt. Tell him to avoid credit cards as long as possible.

  • G_BalliandoG_Balliando 3,916 Posts
    Tell him not to fuck up his credit, that's huge. Buy what you can afford, not what a credit company thinks you can afford.

  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    I've promised him the opportunity to travel anywhere* he wants in the world for a week (*that I can afford), or the chance to come kick it with me in NYC for a month.


    Best Uncle Evar!


    Tell him to enjoy being 18, or whatever age he currently is. Remind him that you didn't have your shit together at that age, and that nobody--even him--should expect him to know what he wants to do for the rest of his life. Tell him to just keep an open mind and to be open to life in general, and he'll probably be okay.

    And tell him not to waste time with really small tattoos. He'll wish he saved room for bigger things later.

  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts
    I would encourage him not to get tied down with car payments and a mortgage for a while. That is the kind of stuff that really locks you into a job you might not really want and keeps you from trying new things.


    This is key. I can't tell you how many people I've worked with who hated their jobs (and subsequently their lives), but couldn't leave due to overwhelming debt. Tell him to avoid credit cards as long as possible.

    shit I own a house and I still don't fuck with credit cards.

  • Mr. CasualMr. Casual 953 Posts
    NYC would be his best bet... tell him to come stay with you for a month... but after the summer.. shit is too hot

  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    NYC would be his best bet... tell him to come stay with you for a month... but after the summer.. shit is too hot


    Dude...

    My nephew is graduating from high school outside of Dallas, Texas[/b]

  • SyminSymin 999 Posts
    NYC would be his best bet... tell him to come stay with you for a month... but after the summer.. shit is too hot


    Dude...

    My nephew is graduating from high school outside of Dallas, Texas[/b]
    clash of the heatwaves

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    he's lucky to have you in his life.

    -treat others the way you want to be treated

    -try to drink a few glasses of water before going to bed smashfaced, the next day will be way easier

  • G_BalliandoG_Balliando 3,916 Posts


    -try to drink a few glasses of water before going to bed smashfaced, the next day will be way easier

    true wisdom!

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    Hey,

    Here are some things I would tell the young dude:

    1. Time is precious, don't waste it.

    2. Be about your business.

    3. Only allow positive people in your circle.

    4. Do that shit now, don't wait until later.

    5. Knowledge is the currency of the information age.

    6. Fuck a credit card at his age (only for travel if needed).

    7. Cosign on the condoms (and minimizing debt).

    8. Don't fall in love right now ("Shop Around").

    9. The best revenge is to live well.

    10. You can't put a price tag on peace of mind.

    11. Exit with grace (jobs, relationships, etc.).

    12. Maintain your dignity.

    13. Respect yourself and others to earn respect.

    14. Success requires ability and will.

    15. Failure is a step away from success.

    16. Success involves risk.

    17. Don't run from difficult people (e.g., on jobs), or you'll run your entire life.

    18. Be above the fray, and you're untouchable.

    19. Seek out things for which you are passionate.

    20. Know and accept thyself.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    damn youre all dropping some jewels!


    get him to travel outside of the country (southwards is a good start) and not stay in hotels and not rent a car.

    encourage him to work somewhere far away for a season or two

    hitch hike

    ok, those are kind of weird...

    i would say
    "move with urgency"
    "every moment is vital every second counts"
    "failing to prepare is preparing to fail"
    "forza, non perdiamo tempo"
    but i wouldnt have been feeling all that at his age.

    how bout just:
    "check everything out"

  • empanadamnempanadamn 1,462 Posts
    THANK YOU all who've posted with your jewelz. It's very, very much appreciated.

    I'm still looking for more of anything you can offer. No advice is too shallow or too heady. I know all of you have gone through some silly shit or humbling experiences that have taught you some lessons. Even the most cliche', heard-it-a-million times type lines are cool with me.

    With the stuff you all have offered, combined with words from friends, I'm going to get him a journal / blackbook, and write these words dispersed through the pages (don't worry, I'll credit the Soul Strut fams). For me, this will be more meaningful and heartfelt than Dr. Seuss's "The Places You Will Go" book that seems to be a standard for HS graduates.

    Thanks again everyone.

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    Start meditating.

  • drewnicedrewnice 5,465 Posts
    Theory > Practice, but:

    Never in life will you go through anything that someone else hasn't experienced and made it through, so you should never feel alone or afraid.

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    The Four Fold Way (New Age Related)

    The Way of the Warrior[/b] or Leader is to show up, or choose to be present. (Needs no explanation-being there is half the battle)

    The Way of the Healer[/b] or Caretaker is to pay attention to what has heart and meaning. (Prioritize what really matters, what has meaning in your life and others' lives)

    The Way of the Visionary[/b] or Creative Problem Solver is to tell the truth without blame or judgment. (Tell it like it is)

    The Way of the Teacher[/b] or Counselor is to be open to outcome, not attached to outcome. (Don't take things personally)

  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts
    The Four Fold Way (New Age Related)

    The Way of the Warrior[/b] or Leader is to show up, or choose to be present. (Needs no explanation-being there is half the battle)

    The Way of the Healer[/b] or Caretaker is to pay attention to what has heart and meaning. (Prioritize what really matters, what has meaning in your life and others' lives)

    The Way of the Visionary[/b] or Creative Problem Solver is to tell the truth without blame or judgment. (Tell it like it is)

    The Way of the Teacher[/b] or Counselor is to be open to outcome, not attached to outcome. (Don't take things personally)


    Can you send this to some of the employees I manage?

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    The Four Fold Way (New Age Related)

    The Way of the Warrior[/b] or Leader is to show up, or choose to be present. (Needs no explanation-being there is half the battle)

    The Way of the Healer[/b] or Caretaker is to pay attention to what has heart and meaning. (Prioritize what really matters, what has meaning in your life and others' lives)

    The Way of the Visionary[/b] or Creative Problem Solver is to tell the truth without blame or judgment. (Tell it like it is)

    The Way of the Teacher[/b] or Counselor is to be open to outcome, not attached to outcome. (Don't take things personally)


    Can you send this to some of the employees I manage?

    I think you need to make arrangements for a corporate retreat at the nearest Sweat Lodge



  • She does not want you to "take her away from all this"

    There is no sex in the champagne room.

  • Think before you act,before you speak.

    Happiness is the biggest success you can have

    Make time for your family, don`t regret it later

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts


    Happiness is the biggest success you can have

    on that subject:

    Happiness is a state of mind, not a destination.



  • Happiness is the biggest success you can have

    on that subject:


    Happiness is a state of mind, not a destination.


    This is fine if you are a hunter-gatherer, not really true if you are ABOUT SCHITT!

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    Get ahold of some good genetics and grow, grow, grow.


  • jdeezjdeez 638 Posts
    inform him of the importance of sunscreen

    Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ???99
    If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be
    it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
    scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
    than my own meandering
    experience???I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not
    understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
    But trust me, in 20 years you???ll look back at photos of yourself and
    recall in a way you can???t grasp now how much possibility lay before
    you and how fabulous you really looked???.You???re not as fat as you
    imagine. Don???t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as
    effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
    bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that
    never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm
    on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you Sing Don???t be reckless with other people???s hearts, don???t put up with
    people who are reckless with yours. Floss Don???t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you???re ahead, sometimes
    you???re behind???the race is long, and in the end, it???s only with
    yourself. Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you
    succeed in doing this, tell me how. Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements. Stretch Don???t feel guilty if you don???t know what you want to do with your
    life???the most interesting people I know didn???t know at 22 what they
    wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year
    olds I know still don???t. Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you???ll miss them when they???re gone. Maybe you???ll marry, maybe you won???t, maybe you???ll have children,maybe
    you won???t, maybe you???ll divorce at 40, maybe you???ll dance the funky
    chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary???what ever you do, don???t
    congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either ??? your
    choices are half chance, so are everybody else???s. Enjoy your body,
    use it every way you can???don???t be afraid of it, or what other people
    think of it, it???s the greatest instrument you???ll ever
    own.. Dance???even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don???t follow them. Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they???ll be gone for
    good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the
    people most likely to stick with you in the future. Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you
    should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and
    lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you
    knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live
    in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel. Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will
    philander, you too will get old, and when you do you???ll fantasize
    that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were
    noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don???t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund,
    maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one
    might run out. Don???t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will
    look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who
    supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of
    fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the
    ugly parts and recycling it for more than
    it???s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen???

  • ayresayres 1,452 Posts
    Br*nt -
    I kind of went through the same thing with my little sister when she was choosing whether or not to go to college outside Mississippi, and while trying to open young minds is crucial, 18 is also pretty young. She went to school in Massachusetts on everyone's advice (my brother and I both went to school in New York and my parents encouraged all three of us to get an education outside Mississippi). In my sister's case it backfired and she got depressed, missed her friends and family, and transfered to Ole Miss after 3 semesters of UMass. She ended up waiting tables in Mississippi for a year after she graduated, and got really bored and frustrated and moved to Brooklyn, and now she loves it. All that to say that you can encourage young people to make decisions that you think are right for them, but tread lightly because for a lot of people it is really hard to imagine life outside the world they know and it can be really scary and intimidating to leave a place that feels safe. If he is resistant, give him a few years and let him know your offer stands.
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