What just happened to me at work
Swayze 14,705 Posts
edited May 2006 in Strut Central
So I went the the bathroom to go take a shit because the cleaning gets done every day at 10, so I knew that my bowl would be pristine and I would get to make the blue water brown.So I'm in there relaxing and shitting, when the fucking fire alarm goes off. I was like "oh no!" and tried to squeeze the rest out as fast as I could. I made pretty good time, but it was one of those 'endless wipes' type shits, where no matter how many times i wiped, it wasn't enough. the lights kept blinking and I kept wiping until finally I was through. I started to get a little nervous because I didn't want to be the last dude walking out of the building 5 minutes after everybody else and then have people ask where I was.I finally got done as somebody came in the bathroom. I though 'shit, they sent somebody to check the bathrooms'. I flushed and came out of the stall and it was my co-worker Bruce. I said "Is this a fire drill??" and he said "Ignore it, they were just testing the system."I was kind of releived, but also very upset that they had ruined a perfectly good dump.
you truly are a fucking god walking amongst plebs.
Planning your dumps:
I was mentally preparing today's soulstrut posts.
No wonder why you had the runz.
we call that 'mud butt' where the hell does that poo keep coming from ??
I always enjoyed peeing and making it green.
yeah, so anyways, i hate the peanut butter shits. and nothing pisses me off more than having to wipe my ass numerous times. after the third wipe, if there's still the same volume of doodoo on the paper, thats when i check to see if the coast is clear, then i hobble over to the sink and do a lil macgyver buttwipe thingy. it usually involves a paper towel, some warm water, and if im feeling fancy a spritzing of liquid soap.
I have a hard enough time sneaking the newspaper in there. I simply can't imagine getting busted washing my ass in the sink. And doesn't that industrial liquid office soap burn?
it helps to have no shame. plus my office bathroom has double doors and the first door locks so i can always hear if someone's about to creep up on my sanctuary.
the office soap doesnt burn. son, youre wiping your ass raw. be gentle as if youre washing a microgroove mono press. the warm water helps.
'cause when you're a guy, and you got a hairy ass......... well, i'll spare you guys the details.
I'M NOT. Gimme that seat guard and hook it up with another layer of TP, to give it that extra comfort. I don't care that my teacher in high school health class said you can't get diseases from it. There's no way I'm taking that chance.
This would be awsome.
Here is a pic of the controls on a public toilet in Japan...
I'd like a t-shirt of that graphic on the "spray" button.
it's the year 2006... THIS IS WHAT WE SHOULD BE SHITTING IN!!! who needs flying cars when your toilet can wash yer ass for you? toilet paper is THE DEVIL!!
As for Japan, those washrooms are next level. The house I was staying had a three-man continuous unrinal.
Oh, and anyone heard about that art-installation I think it was in Germany or Sweden. Basically, it was a washroom encased in 1-way glass in the middle of a very busy sidewalk. So you could see everyone outside but they couldn't see you. Could you take a shit in that environment?
No, I don't even like to shit when someone is in the next stall over.
I'd (s)hit that.
Why do I get the feeling that David Blaine just planned his next stunt reading this thread?
There used to be (or perhaos still is) a restaurant in Manhattan where the toilets were separated from the dining room by two-way mirrors. I remember sitting at the table with some friends freaking the hell out of our buddy in the washroom by making faces at her as if we could see in, which, of course, we couldn't. It was very funny but an odd gimmick for a restaurant.
NO FUCKING WAY
I can't believe that would fly, especially in the US... nobody wants their eating and bathroom experiences to meet like that