Maybe this is a Houston issue, but no one mentioned "rapper dudes" that want spin in the club. No introduction or anything, he just expects you to play his shit, no questions asked.
"Say playa, play track 5 on this cd (unmarked cdr). This shit go hoard!!!"
Subset to this dude, is "obnoxious freestyle dude".
OK one time I had "obnoxious freestyle dude" and "obnoxious freestyle posse" roll up begging for a mic. I had no mic. SO they begged for headphones!
Except here's the thing: they were Jamaican, and chatted reggae, and I had precisely TWO reggae records, which I only bring in emergencies because hey, I don't play reggae. One was a Sean Paul tune and the other was Cutty Ranks "Who Seh Me Dun".
So all's cool right? No mic, no reggae... wrong. Apparently one dude was the boyfriend of the chick who hired me, who then came begging to allow them to properly rep on the phones.
Considering that she was paying me, I was like.... fine. Did back and forth with my two reggae records for about 20 minutes while these dudes screamed into the headphones and basically caused everyone to leave.... which was fine, because it was getting late anyway.
So afterwards I go back to spinning and there are still a few folks dancing. Party ends, and a couple folks are really tanked and getting rowdy and fucking with me. the "obnoxious freestyle posse" came over and HOUSED them dudes out the spot! So "obnoxious freestyle posse" became "welcome impromptu bouncer posse".
some of the very reasons i gave up the djing world.
This was one the many reasons I left the game. But I must say for every jerk, there is someone/body who can feel what your doing which iz what keeps you going.
i havent had many unruly run-ins while djing.... most happened at the more commercial clubs folks dig what i do, and i think its because i choose my gigs carefully until recently, i was doin this gig out here in downtown miami that was for some upscale, trendy folk... a whole lot of super fly chicks surprisingly, they were always wantin to know when i was going to play some soul, funk, and disco one of the coolest spots i rocked in a minute
i think it depends on where you play. if you play somewhere where folks like to get real crunk and wild out, then i can see more opportunity to have these annoyin folk comin up to the booth. im all about the exclusive booth. i aint pretentious but i sure do like my space
DeeRock i stod up and applauded the screen, met these stereotypes one time too many, and since i dj tonight i bet at least one of them will be there at some time
There are MANY MORE words to be said on this subject. How about our favorite asshole dudes?
1) The Air Scratch Dude. Thinks it's really clever to come up to the DJ booth and make scratching motions with his hands while smiling like you and he now have something in common. Probably makes jerking off motions to the clerk when he's buying a porno mag.
2) The Foreign Dude. Tells - not asks - you to play some techno or trance in order to get the party started, even if the entire party is populated with the cast of a Dipset video. He especially likes to do this before 10:30pm when nobody's even had their first drink, to prove to you that a switch in musical genre will instantly heat up the dancefloor.
3) The Electronic Music Dude. See 2). Minus the accent.
4) The Classic Soul & Funk Dude. Ha - fooled you! He's never in the club - he's doing his 2am college radio shift.
ha ha.
haven't had time to read this whole thread, but has anyone mentioned the "Nothing but Good Intentions Dude"[/b] who either (pick one)
(a)bumps the tables in his enthusiasm to tell you that you are the greatest DJ of all time, (b)in an attempt to 'smoke you up' holds his joint over your records and, of course, ash drops on the rekkid(actually happened to me-houseparty related) (c)brings you a drink only to spill said drink in or around the area(several close calls)
This guy is sometimes combined with Air Scratch Dude.
I hate women for being themselfes. They dont know shit about music but act like a dictator when it comes to what the DJ has to play.
PLAY WHAT I WANT ORRRRR I KILL YOU
My personal favourites Biatches are these ones:
Young good looking ladys who are aproaching the booth while I play some funky and very danceable but unfortunatly not up to date video rotation TV tune.
I know what they'll say before they open there mouth. They say "Could you play something to dance to"
What ????
The "please play some rap" biatch seems to be common, but I had some "please could you play some REAL rap" bitches. I played what we all know under real rap. So what do you mean lady ??? Oh I mean "Black Eyed Peas".
I would love to do this with those chicks
Than there is the arguing Bitch. She asks "Do you have ...(include whatever you hate)" ??? No I dont have it with me. Her reaction is not to go away. Instead she asks "Why ??". Lady, I dont have it, I dont even own those kinda music, She says "Yeah but I want to hear it". I'm saying "Great, than go home and hear it there".
She looks like this
Or this
I started to tell those idiots to bring a CD of it when they come to the club the next time. Than give it to the DJ and tell him to play it. So if ever a bitch gives you a CD to play something you know I was there the week before.
The strangest thing that ever happend was a girl asking for something with "more beat". I played tunes that were pretty fast around 120 - 130 BPM. So I said to her this is already fast. She said "No no, something with more beat, more drums" LAdy, we are not speaking the same language. What do you mean ???
Do your homework bitch.
The day after I thought about it, I think she wanted to hear some D'n'B tunes.
But there are dudes who are morons too.
They look like this
or this
They come and ask me what I'm playing. I say the name of the tune and they say "No no, not the one song, all the songs you are playing"
Than I I fell like this
Urrrrrr
Arrrrrrgghhh
Destroy what destroys you
Should I give you a playlist or what ?? Dude I have to work here, I'm not a secretary typewriter biatch.
And I know why you want a playlist, you want to download the whole playlist. Decksharks.
Sometimes I ask myself what the audience thinks why we are their ?? What is our purpose ?? Why arent they just going into a milkbar and dance to the jukebox !!!!
Yo Hawkeye, ur killin it with the pics...one of my threads of the year so far anyway...actually, Ijust came back from village rockin and people behaved, we got requests for TOK and "dirty south"...not too bad, methinks...people were very polite, love dat!
Just getting in from my gig and I shit you not, I'm rockin for 600 people about 550 of them dancing and this girl comes up and says "are you gonna play anything good" ??? My boy heard her an escorted her away quickly before I could even respond. What goes through these peoples heads? I usually tell people there are only 2 kinds of music, good and bad and I play them both.
I experienced the worse... But I also had a sweet person who was taking care of me while I played my goodies while a new year party. She was bringing stuff to drink / eat when I needed, giving me a sincere friendly hug every hour, saying "thanks" slowly in my ear... In fact, "the dumb bitch" in this party was a dumb guy who pushed me to the border line... I'm not violent but was about to kill him!
It's not a matter of sex... It's just a question of culture, brain aptitude and also how much the dumb is drunk... I love you ladies!
It is not a matter of gender ???? Yes and No. They are both dumb as fuck and thats why I hate people. I generally hate people and all mankind. Humans are the perversion of nature.
We are the only living existence who kills out of fun. Without any good reason we destroy live.
But away from my sarkasm, I apreciate small towns, especially small student citys. There the audience is most of the time very willing to have a party and to scream and to hear fast and funky music. Doenst matter if the know the tune or not. Like I wrote it here before. I played to a room of 400 people, 70% female and they danced their ass of to "On Tempo" from Phill Most Chill. But the city was a real small city where beside that party where I played almost nothing happens.
Yeah, "On tempo" worked for me too, although the dj i played with became afraid and told me to not play so hard, because of the ladies...wtf? They loved it! Soulman, you the man!
side note: we played yesterday in a all reggae/hiphop room and some girl came and asked for red hot chili peppers...
Thats what I mean, in those small citys the want HARD and FUNKY and FAST music. Doesnt matter if the tune is known or not. I just say G??ttingen / Electro Osho or L??neburg / Wunderbar.
Infact, over here it is not. Small town djing sucks because you have to deal with all the abovementioned AND the money sucks too! One time I had a stupid bitch (like out of a group of 3 who all looked the same - blond, purse wearing stupid richchicks) and she came over and scratched the record and smiled at me. I wanted to punch her so bad, but I got my manners...
what about the "Doesnt Understand the Phrase "Sorry, I dont Have it" Bitches?
had this one girl come up and ask me if I wanted a drink... I said sure, gimme a Jameson on the rocks. she leaves and comes back a little while later with said drink, I say thank you, smile, take drink and go back to doin what I was doin...she asks if she can make a request, and I said sure. She asks for something I do not have with me. She asks for soemthing else, I have it, I play it. All is good. She comes back, a little drunker, and asks for the aforemnetioned record I already told her I dont have...she starts getting bitchy and says, "I bought you a drink"! I said, "I would love to play it, but I dont have it here, sorry" She leaves, comes back again and asks for the record, I am still being nice at this point, "Im sorry sweetie, I dont have it, I cant play what I dont have" She leaves. She comes back, asks again, I am getting irritated and say "Sweetie, you could promise every sexual favor in the world and a thousand bucks, and I still wouldnt be able to play your request, because I DONT HAVE IT HERE! I CANNOT PLAY WHAT I DONT HAVE!" she leaves and COMES BACK AGAIN and starts BEGGING ME to play it. I just ice grill her and finally one of freinds comes up and grabs her and says "Stop bothering him"...
The other day I was doing this gig at a restaurant during dinner so i'm keeping it laid back playin jazz and shit and this dude comes up and asks if i can "play some music"..I reply'd that I thought this was music..when i asked him what he had in mind he was stymied..Oh and another time i was playin a cut from Short Dogs In the House and this idiot comes up and asks me to play Too Short..I was like this is too short buddy..You could make a good book out of this thread
Comments
"Say playa, play track 5 on this cd (unmarked cdr). This shit go hoard!!!"
Subset to this dude, is "obnoxious freestyle dude".
"You got a mic? lemme wreck that bitch!"
-------------------
YES.
I had a dude come up to me at a packed club one night on that shit. "Yo, what's up with the mic? I'll give you 50 bucks if I'm wack."
My reply:
"Gimme that 50 now--you're already being wack."
Except here's the thing: they were Jamaican, and chatted reggae, and I had precisely TWO reggae records, which I only bring in emergencies because hey, I don't play reggae. One was a Sean Paul tune and the other was Cutty Ranks "Who Seh Me Dun".
So all's cool right? No mic, no reggae... wrong. Apparently one dude was the boyfriend of the chick who hired me, who then came begging to allow them to properly rep on the phones.
Considering that she was paying me, I was like.... fine. Did back and forth with my two reggae records for about 20 minutes while these dudes screamed into the headphones and basically caused everyone to leave.... which was fine, because it was getting late anyway.
So afterwards I go back to spinning and there are still a few folks dancing. Party ends, and a couple folks are really tanked and getting rowdy and fucking with me. the "obnoxious freestyle posse" came over and HOUSED them dudes out the spot! So "obnoxious freestyle posse" became "welcome impromptu bouncer posse".
Instant karma.
This was one the many reasons I left the game. But I must say for every jerk, there is someone/body who can feel what your doing which iz what keeps you going.
"Suck for a buck" is played a little differently where I'm from.
now mr. dj
now I've ask you three times
Play my MOTHERFUCKING song!![/b]
- spidey
folks dig what i do, and i think its because i choose my gigs carefully
until recently, i was doin this gig out here in downtown miami that was for some upscale, trendy folk... a whole lot of super fly chicks
surprisingly, they were always wantin to know when i was going to play some soul, funk, and disco
one of the coolest spots i rocked in a minute
i think it depends on where you play. if you play somewhere where folks like to get real crunk and wild out, then i can see more opportunity to have these annoyin folk comin up to the booth.
im all about the exclusive booth. i aint pretentious but i sure do like my space
This thread has me rolling! Supreme = so on point.
Last time I met her, I was playing David Batiste & the Gladiators - Funky Soul Pt. 1 pitched up at like +8.
She asks for something faster, so I pulled out Lee Dorsey - Give It Up and gave her the gasface.
Another satisfied customer!
in japan, people are so well-behaved, nobody gets down on the dance floor (supposedly).
peace
L
ha ha.
haven't had time to read this whole thread, but has anyone mentioned the "Nothing but Good Intentions Dude"[/b] who either (pick one)
(a)bumps the tables in his enthusiasm to tell you that you are the greatest DJ of all time,
(b)in an attempt to 'smoke you up' holds his joint over your records and, of course, ash drops on the rekkid(actually happened to me-houseparty related)
(c)brings you a drink only to spill said drink in or around the area(several close calls)
This guy is sometimes combined with Air Scratch Dude.
its all about the booth with the door
I hate women for being themselfes. They dont know shit about music but act like a dictator when it comes to what the DJ has to play.
PLAY WHAT I WANT ORRRRR I KILL YOU
My personal favourites Biatches are these ones:
Young good looking ladys who are aproaching the booth while I play some funky and very danceable but unfortunatly not up to date video rotation TV tune.
I know what they'll say before they open there mouth. They say "Could you play something to dance to"
What ????
The "please play some rap" biatch seems to be common, but I had some "please could
you play some REAL rap" bitches. I played what we all know under real rap. So what do you mean lady ??? Oh I mean "Black Eyed Peas".
I would love to do this with those chicks
Than there is the arguing Bitch. She asks "Do you have ...(include whatever you hate)" ??? No I dont have it with me. Her reaction is not to go away. Instead she asks "Why ??". Lady, I dont have it, I dont even own those kinda music, She says "Yeah but I want to hear it". I'm saying "Great, than go home and hear it there".
She looks like this
Or this
I started to tell those idiots to bring a CD of it when they come to the club the next time. Than give it to the DJ and tell him to play it. So if ever a bitch gives you a CD to play something you know I was there the week before.
The strangest thing that ever happend was a girl asking for something with "more beat". I played tunes that were pretty fast around 120 - 130 BPM. So I said to her this is already fast. She said "No no, something with more beat, more drums" LAdy, we are not speaking the same language. What do you mean ???
Do your homework bitch.
The day after I thought about it, I think she wanted to hear some D'n'B tunes.
But there are dudes who are morons too.
They look like this
or this
They come and ask me what I'm playing. I say the name of the tune and they say "No no, not the one song, all the songs you are playing"
Than I I fell like this
Urrrrrr
Arrrrrrgghhh
Destroy what destroys you
Should I give you a playlist or what ?? Dude I have to work here, I'm not a secretary typewriter biatch.
And I know why you want a playlist, you want to download the whole playlist. Decksharks.
Sometimes I ask myself what the audience thinks why we are their ?? What is our purpose ?? Why arent they just going into a milkbar and dance to the jukebox !!!!
Peace
Hawkeye
It's not a matter of sex... It's just a question of culture, brain aptitude and also how much the dumb is drunk... I love you ladies!
We are the only living existence who kills out of fun. Without any good reason we destroy live.
But away from my sarkasm, I apreciate small towns, especially small student citys. There the audience is most of the time very willing to have a party and to scream and to hear fast and funky music. Doenst matter if the know the tune or not. Like I wrote it here before. I played to a room of 400 people, 70% female and they danced their ass of to "On Tempo" from Phill Most Chill. But the city was a real small city where beside that party where I played almost nothing happens.
Peace
Hawkeye
side note: we played yesterday in a all reggae/hiphop room and some girl came and asked for red hot chili peppers...
Peace
Hawkeye
this dude walks up and asks, "do you have any Reggae Tone? i've never heard of him, but my girlfriend really wants to hear whatever his big song is"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
better not have been one of those euro breaks
had this one girl come up and ask me if I wanted a drink... I said sure, gimme a Jameson on the rocks. she leaves and comes back a little while later with said drink, I say thank you, smile, take drink and go back to doin what I was doin...she asks if she can make a request, and I said sure. She asks for something I do not have with me. She asks for soemthing else, I have it, I play it. All is good. She comes back, a little drunker, and asks for the aforemnetioned record I already told her I dont have...she starts getting bitchy and says, "I bought you a drink"! I said, "I would love to play it, but I dont have it here, sorry" She leaves, comes back again and asks for the record, I am still being nice at this point, "Im sorry sweetie, I dont have it, I cant play what I dont have" She leaves. She comes back, asks again, I am getting irritated and say "Sweetie, you could promise every sexual favor in the world and a thousand bucks, and I still wouldnt be able to play your request, because I DONT HAVE IT HERE! I CANNOT PLAY WHAT I DONT HAVE!" she leaves and COMES BACK AGAIN and starts BEGGING ME to play it. I just ice grill her and finally one of freinds comes up and grabs her and says "Stop bothering him"...
I just realized I told the same story twice in the same thread. Sheesh, can I get a "no mayo" graemlin?
Another (raer?)'request archetype': people who draw (little sketches, track titles) what they want you to do instead of asking.
Many stars b/w Threads Deserving More Recognition