I'd like to get to know you a little bit better. Who is your daddy, and what does he do? Yes. Stop whining! Im a cop you idiot!
Arnold
dude, you rule. LOL. Do they enjoy those prank phone calls in Germany? Is our brand of pathetic humor uneeversal? I keed, I keed. Sort of.
dollar_binI heartily endorse this product and/or event 2,326 Posts
Dear Pap, On the 28th day of this month of May, in the year of our Lord, 2005, you will be honored in a fashion beyond your wildest imagination. Prepare thyself, Mike (on behalf of all the Soulstrutters with Photoshop)
ooooh, yeahhhhhh. Photoshop is getting a warmup. Has edub been alerted?
gotta love these occasions for random creative output on SS.
dude, you rule. LOL. Do they enjoy those prank phone calls in Germany? Is our brand of pathetic humor uneeversal? I keed, I keed. Sort of.
Dear mylatency,
Not quite sure if they enjoy them in Germany, you might want to ask some German about it. But seeing as they dub pretty everything in Germany I doubt they would get it. They'd be like "Wow! is this how Arnolds real voice sounds?!" And not pay attention to the joke, until it was too late. Thats my theory!
After all these years of searching for you, trying to do research on you, and talking to people who knew you, to have an interview with you tomorrow is beyond dope. Your music has touched me and those around the world more than you have imagined. Though your releases were not many, the soul you gave to each tune has been felt. I look forward to tomorrow...
One of your biggest fans,
Justin
Dear Mike,
Sorry i flipped and tried to hunt you down because you had my reels. I wouldnt of hurt you... unless you had fucked up and sold or dumped them. Tis all good now though... youre still the homie and your moms was extra nice to me when i picked up the reels.
Still homies,
Justin
ps: your moms lexus is dope.
Dear Church/Christians/Mrs Leano,
Ive never been a religious type of dude. I still am not. I have spirituality but not the type that yall do. I enjoy the singing in church and listen to the priest (cause hes funny and hes dude) but my belief in jesus christ will not change... hes not the son of God. I dont knock your beliefs or practices so please do not knock mine. We can all still be friends and i still would really like to get married in church... but having mass/wedding isnt going to happen. Hopefully this wont hurt you too much but, well, thats just the way its going to be...
Heathenistically yours,
Justin
Dear Documentary,
YOU ARE SO GOING TO RULE! Those that want to know will know. Those that didnt know will be amazed. Those that dont care will. Finishing you will take a long time but dont worry because funding and grants shouldnt be hard to come by. Dave is excited and that keeps me going. You wont be turned into a book anytime soon but its okay... cause youll still rule.
Love,
Justin
Dear Grafwritah,
I like you. Fuck everyone else.
The Crackerback you love to hate,
Me
Dear Soulstrut,
At times i miss you... At times i dont... I check in everyday (except weekends... seriously i do have a life) and enjoy one or two threads... I dont know how i got over 3000 posts but it was worth it. Thanks for being my friend(s).
Thank you for making this brilliant fucking record[/b]. I just played it like three times in a row and the guy in the adjacent cubi-ma-cle is getting suspicious. Much love
It's been a while since we spoke, and I hope there are no hard feelings. I tried very hard to find your daddy, the guy with all of the 12" singles. I even went to your office and got on the intercom, trying to page him. I am very sory that your daddy is a deadbeat who does not care what happens to all 12 inches of you. I only took a few. I could not figure out what those few were worth to your daddy, so I just left a couple of bucks on top of his busted-ass lawn chair, with a rock on top.
please get busy because i am dying of boredom here. while i don't mind sitting on my ass and getting paid for doing nothing, i would much rather have someone to talk to or something to do at this point in time. thank you.
I am figuring out now that I should have more carefully worded what I asked for...
You are like a boyfriend I love who always embarasses me in public. I am going to see you with the Red Sox next monday with a bunch of Boston fans. If they end up to be all TAUNTY like MOST Boston fans I know, I may just have to get drunk and close my eyes. I just know it.
AHEM COUGH COUGH,
Audrey
---------------------
Dear Bird That Looks Like a Drag Queen,
I have been trying to find out what you are, but nobody knows. I saw your picture on the internet and it just said "uglybird.jpg". What's your name? I want to go out in public and have you sit on my shoulder like the people with the parrots I always see at Trader Joes.
I can now get to you in under 23 minutes. Tell your homegirl 5k that I'm gonna holler at her in an official way before this year up.
Very Sincerely, Sights Set On 22:00 & Under
* * * * *
Dear Calf Muscles,
Loosen the fuck up already.
Signed, R.Tightness
* * * * *
Dear Job,
I know we just started seeing each regularly about a month and a half ago, but things have progressed very nicely. In fact, things are getting very serious. I asked for kind of a lot of things last week because you'd made me feel like they were all within my reach. Then you told me that none of them were. Why you gotta be like that?
Disappointed, Bartleby-In-Training
* * * * *
Dear My Better Half,
I am so unbelievably happy for you that your first year of your doctorate program is now behind you. Please enjoy this summer and relax as much as possible. You deserve it.
With love, Your Lesser Half
* * * * *
Dear NYC Strutters,
I'll be seein' y'all in less than a month. Massive shouts to Bambouche, Catchdubs, Urrs, Cosmo, Delay, Faux_Rillz, Coselmed, Sweendog, empanaDAMN, and jdeez for hollerin' at your dude. It's gonna be a very fun blur.
Eagerly, Mr. EastBound
* * * * *
Dear KingMost,
You're a horrible speller (and what's with leaving ENTIRE WORDS outta your posts?), but you're a damn good friend. Thanks for hookin' up a brother up with gigs when needed.
Grammatically, Signore Viatore
* * * * *
Dear Scott,
That was mad fucking cool of you to send me that record. Got it yesterday and your CDs went in the mail today.
I am sort of obsessed with you. I wish I could see you in motion. You look like a waddler.
I won't eat you, Audrey
Dear Sweendog,
I can't help but keep saying "John Candyesque steaks" now. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. That is a funny movie and I just added it to my Netflix because the steaks made me remember.
Please like me and my plan. Please make reasonable language for the issues we discussed. Also, please get me a lease asap. I like you and I LOVE your space but I can only wait so long before I have to keep looking.
Thanks, Jonathan
Dear Sandy:
FUCK YOU! You're lucky I held my tongue cause you're like 80 and shit. You sold off most of your collection ten years ago, lied to me about its contents, had me driving an hour plus through New Jersey, and ended me up with this fucking food poisoning for a fucking Madeline Bell record. And then you have the nerve to accuse me of wasting your time.... nutjob.
Please prepare the raers so me and Vitamin can bring them back to where they belong. It would also be nice if you would make some nice air max 95's and Jordans available to me during my trip.
Sincerely, Wizzle
Dear Red Bull,
I'm not sure why you are bringing me to Germany but it sounds like a good time. I would also like to confess that I think you're Diet Red Bull tastes like crap. Go back to the drawing board on that one.
Thanks, Wizzle
Dear Jerome James,
You are the dumbest lazy piece of shit I have ever seen play the Center position. I hope no team signs you and you have to play in Russia next year. Way to wear a garbage bag around your head after we beat the Queens. That was dope.
Why did you go off last night and not tell me? Luckily I woke up at 5am to go take a piss and noticed that you were not on. Everything went OK for a while because I still woke up on time to go to work and take my kid to school at 6:30, that was until I walked outside. Then Mr. Electricity you pulled a fast one on me and wouldn't let me get into the garage with the electric door ! So I had to get the girlfriend up and have her take him to school on the bus and I had to walk to fuckin work! Thank you and my feet thank you too!
Comments
I'M UP IN THIS PEICE.
THE LEDGE IS TO BE KNOWED
S.THORAX
I'd like to get to know you a little bit better. Who is your daddy, and what does he do? Yes. Stop whining! Im a cop you idiot!
Arnold
That "Dear Summer" joint is BANANAS! Plaese to make an album of material like this and drop it ASAP.
Thank you
Hurry up and get those 8 + things I'm waiting on to me. Don't drop the ball on me
many thanks,
h. lucero
weak rhyms. i wanna battle u.
dude, you rule. LOL. Do they enjoy those prank phone calls in Germany? Is our brand of pathetic humor uneeversal? I keed, I keed. Sort of.
ooooh, yeahhhhhh. Photoshop is getting a warmup. Has edub been alerted?
gotta love these occasions for random creative output on SS.
It's been a long time. I miss getting high during the day and playing Joust
Dear Washington Generals
Buck up my bitches! This is your year!
Dear tattoos
Are you lonely? Or is it getting too crowded? Want some more company???
Dear blues 78's from 1928
I could listen to you all day long.
PS Same to you Carter Family...
Dear Kylie Minogue
Send check to M. Schipper c/o Soulstrut
Laurence...
You've taught me alot and I respect you greatly. Please help hire a replacement that is as competant and friendly as you.
Dear New Zealand,
See you in a month
Dear Costa Rica,
See you in 1.5 Months
Dear Norway,
See you in a couple weeks
Dear Lime Green Paint in My Kitchen,
Why did Maria choose you? Not really feeling your vibe.
Dear Mary Lou Williams, Apres Ski, Sarah Webster Fabio, & Juan Carlos Caceres,
Finally bringing your music into my life is really awesome. I love you.
Dear Raise,
Bring it.
Dear Free Shit,
Bring yourself as well.
Dear Stomach,
What's wrong? Have I forsaken you by eating that batter fried chicken foot?
I think you went pretty good.
Dont say I'm overqualified tho.
Thats the lamest way to go down I think.
regards,
Dear glas of wine in front of me,
Why cant you be colder?
regards,
Dear Phone,
Please ring en get me that company on the line with the good news.
regards,
Dear mylatency,
Not quite sure if they enjoy them in Germany, you might want to ask some German about it. But seeing as they dub pretty everything in Germany I doubt they would get it. They'd be like "Wow! is this how Arnolds real voice sounds?!" And not pay attention to the joke, until it was too late. Thats my theory!
Regards,
Martin from Sweden
LUCKYYYYY
I think you are beautiful.
Dear Carnivale,
I think you are beautiful. (Thank You to Mr.Moss for the tip)
Dear Song#17 on the latest Dooley-O CD,
I think you are beautiful.
PS. What is your name? Wanna come over tonight?
Dear peonies,
I think you are beautiful.
Dear Hortense Ellis,
I think you are beautiful.
After all these years of searching for you, trying to do research on you, and talking to people who knew you, to have an interview with you tomorrow is beyond dope. Your music has touched me and those around the world more than you have imagined. Though your releases were not many, the soul you gave to each tune has been felt. I look forward to tomorrow...
One of your biggest fans,
Justin
Dear Mike,
Sorry i flipped and tried to hunt you down because you had my reels. I wouldnt of hurt you... unless you had fucked up and sold or dumped them. Tis all good now though... youre still the homie and your moms was extra nice to me when i picked up the reels.
Still homies,
Justin
ps: your moms lexus is dope.
Dear Church/Christians/Mrs Leano,
Ive never been a religious type of dude. I still am not. I have spirituality but not the type that yall do. I enjoy the singing in church and listen to the priest (cause hes funny and hes dude) but my belief in jesus christ will not change... hes not the son of God. I dont knock your beliefs or practices so please do not knock mine. We can all still be friends and i still would really like to get married in church... but having mass/wedding isnt going to happen. Hopefully this wont hurt you too much but, well, thats just the way its going to be...
Heathenistically yours,
Justin
Dear Documentary,
YOU ARE SO GOING TO RULE! Those that want to know will know. Those that didnt know will be amazed. Those that dont care will. Finishing you will take a long time but dont worry because funding and grants shouldnt be hard to come by. Dave is excited and that keeps me going. You wont be turned into a book anytime soon but its okay... cause youll still rule.
Love,
Justin
Dear Grafwritah,
I like you. Fuck everyone else.
The Crackerback you love to hate,
Me
Dear Soulstrut,
At times i miss you... At times i dont... I check in everyday (except weekends... seriously i do have a life) and enjoy one or two threads... I dont know how i got over 3000 posts but it was worth it. Thanks for being my friend(s).
IB4L (internet buddies for life),
Jinx74
CC: Eddie Bo
RE: Pass The Hatchet
Thank you for making this brilliant fucking record[/b]. I just played it like three times in a row and the guy in the adjacent cubi-ma-cle is getting suspicious.
Much love
Lorenzo
I like you as much my girl likes the Sayer.
thank you!
regards,
It's been a while since we spoke, and I hope there are
no hard feelings.
I tried very hard to find your daddy, the guy with all
of the 12" singles. I even went to your office and got
on the intercom, trying to page him.
I am very sory that your daddy is a deadbeat who does not
care what happens to all 12 inches of you.
I only took a few. I could not figure out what those few
were worth to your daddy, so I just left a couple of bucks
on top of his busted-ass lawn chair, with a rock on top.
Guiltily yours,
-V.S.
I am figuring out now that I should have more carefully worded what I asked for...
You guys are so cute! You remind me of owls.
Fly away with me to Guitarland.
Sincerely,
Audrey
--------------------
Dear Chokeland A's,
You are like a boyfriend I love who always embarasses me in public. I am going to see you with the Red Sox next monday with a bunch of Boston fans. If they end up to be all TAUNTY like MOST Boston fans I know, I may just have to get drunk and close my eyes. I just know it.
AHEM COUGH COUGH,
Audrey
---------------------
Dear Bird That Looks Like a Drag Queen,
I have been trying to find out what you are, but nobody knows. I saw your picture on the internet and it just said "uglybird.jpg". What's your name? I want to go out in public and have you sit on my shoulder like the people with the parrots I always see at Trader Joes.
Audrey
I think its some kind of ground hornbill. I've seen them in South-Africa.
Didnt wanna do the shoulder thing tho.
regards,
Soulstrut >> Forums >> Ornithology Revealed
TONS of bird droppings being dropped.
I can now get to you in under 23 minutes. Tell your homegirl 5k that I'm gonna holler at her in an official way before this year up.
Very Sincerely,
Sights Set On 22:00 & Under
* * * * *
Dear Calf Muscles,
Loosen the fuck up already.
Signed,
R.Tightness
* * * * *
Dear Job,
I know we just started seeing each regularly about a month and a half ago, but things have progressed very nicely. In fact, things are getting very serious. I asked for kind of a lot of things last week because you'd made me feel like they were all within my reach. Then you told me that none of them were. Why you gotta be like that?
Disappointed,
Bartleby-In-Training
* * * * *
Dear My Better Half,
I am so unbelievably happy for you that your first year of your doctorate program is now behind you. Please enjoy this summer and relax as much as possible. You deserve it.
With love,
Your Lesser Half
* * * * *
Dear NYC Strutters,
I'll be seein' y'all in less than a month. Massive shouts to Bambouche, Catchdubs, Urrs, Cosmo, Delay, Faux_Rillz, Coselmed, Sweendog, empanaDAMN, and jdeez for hollerin' at your dude. It's gonna be a very fun blur.
Eagerly,
Mr. EastBound
* * * * *
Dear KingMost,
You're a horrible speller (and what's with leaving ENTIRE WORDS outta your posts?), but you're a damn good friend. Thanks for hookin' up a brother up with gigs when needed.
Grammatically,
Signore Viatore
* * * * *
Dear Scott,
That was mad fucking cool of you to send me that record. Got it yesterday and your CDs went in the mail today.
Thanks,
Ross
Thanks for sharing your bird raer secrets.
Audrey
Dear Coffinfish,
I am sort of obsessed with you. I wish I could see you in motion. You look like a waddler.
I won't eat you,
Audrey
Dear Sweendog,
I can't help but keep saying "John Candyesque steaks" now. Everyone knows what I'm talking about. That is a funny movie and I just added it to my Netflix because the steaks made me remember.
R.I.P. J.C.
Audrey
Stop puking. It's getting old.
Thanks,
Food Poisoned
Dear Charlie:
Please like me and my plan. Please make reasonable language for the issues we discussed. Also, please get me a lease asap. I like you and I LOVE your space but I can only wait so long before I have to keep looking.
Thanks,
Jonathan
Dear Sandy:
FUCK YOU! You're lucky I held my tongue cause you're like 80 and shit. You sold off most of your collection ten years ago, lied to me about its contents, had me driving an hour plus through New Jersey, and ended me up with this fucking food poisoning for a fucking Madeline Bell record. And then you have the nerve to accuse me of wasting your time.... nutjob.
I'm mad,
JS in BK
Please prepare the raers so me and Vitamin can bring them back to where they belong. It would also be nice if you would make some nice air max 95's and Jordans available to me during my trip.
Sincerely,
Wizzle
Dear Red Bull,
I'm not sure why you are bringing me to Germany but it sounds like a good time. I would also like to confess that I think you're Diet Red Bull tastes like crap. Go back to the drawing board on that one.
Thanks,
Wizzle
Dear Jerome James,
You are the dumbest lazy piece of shit I have ever seen play the Center position.
#1 Sonics Fan,
Wizzle
Why did you go off last night and not tell me? Luckily I woke up at 5am to go take a piss and noticed that you were not on. Everything went OK for a while because I still woke up on time to go to work and take my kid to school at 6:30, that was until I walked outside. Then Mr. Electricity you pulled a fast one on me and wouldn't let me get into the garage with the electric door ! So I had to get the girlfriend up and have her take him to school on the bus and I had to walk to fuckin work! Thank you and my feet thank you too!