that twat pete doherty

DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts
edited February 2006 in Strut Central
this made me laugh...Pete Doherty a fraud perpetuated by KLF - really a Buddy Holly impersonator.FURY AS DOHERTY TRUTH REVEALEDThe Samaritans have today recruited 600 extra staff to deal with an expected surge in calls as troubled fans come to terms with today???s revelations about rocker and teen icon Pete Doherty. In a surprise press conference today, the men behind Doherty???s career reveled themselves - and admitted that the Libertines, Babyshambles, the tales of drug use, the armed robberies and the affair with supermodel Kate Moss have all been part of one of the largest hoaxes in British history.The men behind the scandal - Bill Drummond and Jimmy Cauty, who were themselves infamous popstars under the name The KLF - admitted how they plucked a young Buddy Holly impersonator Doherty from obscurity and made him a media darling. ???It was a meant to be a quick stunt to show the frailties of our celbrity-obsessed culture,??? said Cauty, adding, ???there are too many people who are famous despite their lack of talent, usefulness and basic intelligence. We wanted to do something that held a mirror up to that.??? Mr Drummond called Britain???s pop-culture ???sick??? and said that although he regretted the hurt caused to Doherty???s many fans, he hoped ???this incident taught us all some important things???.In a prepared statement, the two men - famous for many other pop pranks, including the famous burning of GBP1million on a remote Scottish island - detailed how they manipulated the British Press into making Doherty an icon. Doherty - whose real name has now been revealed to be Trevor McDermott - was making a living as a part-time Buddy Holly impersonator in the Cornwall holiday circuit. He began a short-lived affair with the singer of a well known 80???s rock band, and was introduced to Drummond and Cauty at a backstage party in London???s West End. The men described how a drunken McDermott amused them with his slurred singing and frenetic dance movements, and how they then realised that this would be the perfect ???dupe??? for a plan they had been hatching for some time.???The plan involved proving three theories we have about current British society,??? reads the statement. ???The first is that in the so-called ???alternative??? scene, everybody is too scared of missing The Next Big Thing to worry about anything else.??? To prove this, some session musicians were provided to compose the rest of the ???band???, The Libertines, and rumours of exposive gigs were leaked to the media. ???The gigs in question never actually took place, but we didn???t have to worry about that. Soon the buzz around The Libertines was so frenetic, journalists were falling over themselves to claim to have been at the front of every single fictional gig.??? Within weeks, The Libertines were appearing on magazines and receiving record offers. Gigs sold out in minutes, while their first album ???Up The Bracket??? flew off shelves.Feeling that their first point had been proved, Drummond and Cauty moved to their second theory: ???We feel that our culture has become an enormous soap opera. We don???t care what a person thinks, or creates, or contributes. We just care about what they do in their normal lives. Especially when it???s something they shouldn???t be doing.???To demonstrate this, the men co-ordinated a number of scandals. First was a robbery staged in the house of one of the band members. When this took place, McDermott (aka Doherty) was unknown outside of the alternative music scene. An incident of this calibre was sufficient, however, to catapult McDermott onto the front page of every major national tabloid. ???One day we has just another singer, the next day he was ???Disgraced Celebrity Rocker???, and he hasn???t been out of the papers since???. Further revelations about drug abuse and violence kept McDermott and The Libertines on the front pages for months.One thing that took even Drummond and Cauty by surprise was the affair with model Kate Moss. ???That was not something that we planned or had any involvement. Whether she knew about the hoax is something we are not party to. We have never had any contact with Miss Moss.??? However, this was the boost their project needed - where the drugs and crime had made McDermott a media sensation, the relationship with one of fashion???s most famous women catapulted him into the world of true celebrity. ???While we had not planned this, it certainly proved our point. There are many superior artists in the country today, but they never appear in Heat or The Sun, because they don???t have the words ???boyfriend of Kate Moss??? after their name.???Despite this boost, the project began running into a major setback for Drummond and Cauty. Just as they were preparing to enter the final phase of their scheme, Doherty decided that he wanted to part company with them, the fake band, and begin seriously recording music. He stopped all contact with the men, and threatened legal actions if any details were leaked to the press. ???We were upset at the apparent failure of our grand project, and also at the monster we had created in Pete Doherty. Our third theorem - that ???If enough people say that a piece of s*** is a bar of gold, we???ll believe it???s a bar of gold??? - seemed to have been beyond salvation. Fortunately, at that point Pete released the first Babyshambles album.???In the time since then, Drummond and Cauty have been locked in a vicious legal battle, which was eventually settled out of court by the discovery of a videotape showing McDermott singing ???Peggy Sue??? at a Butlin???s in Devon. Publicly, McDermott still strongly denies all charges. How this affects the future career of Pete Doherty remains to be seen.
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  Comments


  • FlomotionFlomotion 2,390 Posts
    This is hilarious. And on the same day that Doherty gets arrested yet again (car theft and Class A's this time).

  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    But is it true? Or is the 'admission' the hoax?

    jeezus, who cares? The whole thing is crazy.

  • FlomotionFlomotion 2,390 Posts
    But is it true? Or is the 'admission' the hoax?

    jeezus, who cares? The whole thing is crazy.

    ???We were upset at the apparent failure of our grand project, and also at the monster we had created in Pete Doherty. Our third theorem - that ???If enough people say that a piece of s*** is a bar of gold, we???ll believe it???s a bar of gold??? - seemed to have been beyond salvation. Fortunately, at that point Pete released the first Babyshambles album.???

  • DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts
    well the libertines are oen of those uniquely brittish phenoms.. a spectaculalry inept untalented celebrity shagging twat ... and the nme will call it the greatest of all time

    regradless of whether the klf were behind it or not its still one of those uniquely brittish BULLSHIT media creations... ala the latest.. the arctic monkeys

    i mean i remember hearing the libertines and my first thought was where's the fooking tunes???

    whether the KLF are actually behind it is moot.. hell they could be behind the rumour but not the actual event.. doesnt matter.. the point is true... if you give a peace of shit to the brittish press they will proudly eat it up smiling and ask for second helpings

  • tuneuptuneup 586 Posts
    wether this is true or not......TO ME IT IS NOW THE TRUTH!!!

    all behold the power of the brain that is KLF.....those bastards are funny.

  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
    this is genius.

    So is this total Milli Vanilli 2006?

    Makes me feel good about getting into music discussions with my NME/ Q magazine fanatical friends and never jumping on the libertine/ babyshambles bandwagon.

    Justified and Ancient was ill. Admit it or youre soft

  • MjukisMjukis 1,675 Posts
    So it's a brilliant hoax or a brilliant joke. I've never heard the Libertines or Babyshambles and the guy seems to be an asshole, but this way at least some good has come out of it. Really, music journalists everywhere need to CHECK THEMSELVES.

  • FlomotionFlomotion 2,390 Posts
    It's just a joke but a good one. The KLF boys have a long history of pranks and stunts.

  • DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts
    the KLF is gonna rock you

  • p_gunnp_gunn 2,284 Posts
    this is genius.

    So is this total Milli Vanilli 2006?

    Makes me feel good about getting into music discussions with my NME/ Q magazine fanatical friends and never jumping on the libertine/ babyshambles bandwagon.

    Justified and Ancient was ill. Admit it or youre soft

    dude, it's a joke... KLF live to yank people's chains in this manner...

  • FatbackFatback 6,746 Posts
    this is genius.

    So is this total Milli Vanilli 2006?

    Makes me feel good about getting into music discussions with my NME/ Q magazine fanatical friends and never jumping on the libertine/ babyshambles bandwagon.

    Justified and Ancient was ill. Admit it or youre soft

    dude, it's a joke... KLF live to yank people's chains in this manner...

    have they made a good record yet? if so, what is it?

    thanks

  • p_gunnp_gunn 2,284 Posts
    this is genius.

    So is this total Milli Vanilli 2006?

    Makes me feel good about getting into music discussions with my NME/ Q magazine fanatical friends and never jumping on the libertine/ babyshambles bandwagon.

    Justified and Ancient was ill. Admit it or youre soft

    dude, it's a joke... KLF live to yank people's chains in this manner...

    have they made a good record yet? if so, what is it?

    thanks

    i'm not particularly a fan of their music, but their early rave stuff is def. some good stuff (but not really my cup of tea... UK summer of love acid house), as well as their ambient record "chill out", which is kinda cool...

    BUT, i actually am way more into Drummond as a writer... besides the "how to have a #1 single" book and the "K foundation burn a million pounds" book, he also wrote a great short book about going to Calcutta after his divorce to go to the temple of Kali to make peace with the spirit of women... it's really well written and really cool...




  • Which they really[/b] did - step aside 50 Cent!

  • p_gunnp_gunn 2,284 Posts



    Which they really[/b] did - step aside 50 Cent!

    my friend Gimpo was the guy who filmed that... he told me he was tempted to grab a bundle...

  • BeaverBeaver 164 Posts
    That stories been doing the rounds for 12 months, load of bollocks it is too, The Libertines and Shambles are fucking awesome and Doherty is the greatest 'English' songwriter in the past 20 years, he's an addict, pure and simple, it's no fucking game, the boy's not messing, it's a fucking crying shame as well, because he will crash and burn before his time!!

  • DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts
    Doherty is the greatest 'English' songwriter in the past 20 years

    im not sure which is funnier.. this quote or the article / rumour itself.

  • awallawall 673 Posts
    dubious, what is your source for this by the way?

    i must admit i didn't even know who this fucker was until i read some story about him in the times about a month ago

  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
    Doherty is the greatest 'English' songwriter in the past 20 years

    im not sure which is funnier.. this quote or the article / rumour itself.

    I gave myself 10 seconds to come up with one better

    I ended up with 6

    Thom Yorke
    Stuart Murdoch
    Morrissey
    Fran Healy
    Noel Gallagher
    Damon Albarn

  • DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts
    i don't remember where i got that from

    some blog

    my point isnt even that the article is true.. which it very well isnt... but i would love to assume the KLF were behind the rumour... but that's the nature of the KLF's greatness.. they dont even have to do anything and they still remain notorious and continue to blow more holes into the ridiculous charade that is brittish pop music in the post brit pop era.

    Whether Doherty is a sham or not the fact remeains he is a SHAM... i nthe sense that he's used his Bullshit "lifestyle" to further his "career"

    there was a BBC(?) doc on Doherty awhile back..i watched bits of it.. in it you could CLEARLY see people doing lines off the coffee table in the back ground whilst he conducts the interview.. hell you could even see Kate Moss herself lean in and take a line too...

    and then lo and behold its front page tabloid material in the brittish press and doherty / moss are the hot shit as usual

    anybody stooopid enough to be doing that kind of shit right in front ofthe camera is obviously putting on a act of the highest order... what amazes me is that people actually buy into this foolishness (see Beaver's post)

  • awallawall 673 Posts
    what does this guys music sound like, if you don't mind me asking?

    my guess is the strokes

  • mandrewmandrew 2,720 Posts
    as far as brit-alt-rock goes...[/b] i dug a couple songs on libertines' up the bracket - "death on the stairs" and "boys in the band" come to mind.

  • DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts


    I gave myself 10 seconds to come up with one better

    I ended up with 6

    Thom Yorke
    Stuart Murdoch
    Morrissey
    Fran Healy
    Noel Gallagher
    Damon Albarn

    ugh

    if that's the best the brittish have to offer.. yikes...

    but you are probably right...

    personally i dont think any of those dudes are even fit to polish Morrisey's boots

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts



    "boys in the band" come to mind.


  • DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts
    it sounds like the strokes but more inept and about ten times faster.. with no discrenable melodies, hooks or intelligable lyrics. The production is also alot worse (though that last strokes reocrd is amazingly shite)

    the critics will say they sound like the clash battling the smiths or something..

  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts


    I gave myself 10 seconds to come up with one better

    I ended up with 6

    Thom Yorke
    Stuart Murdoch
    Morrissey
    Fran Healy
    Noel Gallagher
    Damon Albarn

    ugh

    if that's the best the brittish have to offer.. yikes...

    but you are probably right...

    personally i dont think any of those dudes are even fit to polish Morrisey's boots

    really? Not even Stuart Murdoch? I think that dude takes the style of Morrissey and improves upon it. Have you listened to B&S's "If Youre Feeling Sinister"?

  • DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts
    after reading guzzo's list though its dawned on me that the last 20 years of brittish rock have been truely AWFUL... i mean if the best the brits have is radiohead (a third rate Blur who decided to get arty and rippoff pavement then Warp), Belle And Sebastian (one listenable record and that was 8 years ago) and Travis (im surprised these blokes havent got called to write the soundtrack to bridget jones diary 3 yet).

    i mean consider if you increase the time frame to 30 years.. fuck!!!

    Mick Jones
    Joe Strummer
    Mark E Smith
    Julian Cope
    Ian Mccullouch
    Morriseey
    Mark Hollis
    David Sylvian
    John Foxx
    Gary Numan
    Paul Weller
    Ian Dury
    Bernard Summner
    Howard Deveto
    Elvis Costello
    Joe Jackson
    Robyn Hitchcock

    the list goes on and on... and now we are left with noel and a dude named fran

    please nobody bring up badly drawn boy.

  • DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts

    really? Not even Stuart Murdoch? I think that dude takes the style of Morrissey and improves upon it. Have you listened to B&S's "If Youre Feeling Sinister"?

    i think murdoch ripped morrissey off lock stock and barrel

    if your feeling sinister was alright i suppose... sounded like morrissey jamming with the magnetic fields.. pretty but wholey unnessary.. by Arab Strap they had already jumped the shark... now we are treated to dreck like "step into my office baby" WTF was that shit?? oh my god... UNLISTENABLE CRAP...

    now they just seem to want to be a fey version of the Kinks..

    utter crap

    file under stereolab ie a band with MAYBE one decent record and an endless snooze button career

  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts

    really? Not even Stuart Murdoch? I think that dude takes the style of Morrissey and improves upon it. Have you listened to B&S's "If Youre Feeling Sinister"?

    i think murdoch ripped morrissey off lock stock and barrel

    if your feeling sinister was alright i suppose... sounded like morrissey jamming with the magnetic fields.. pretty but wholey unnessary.. by Arab Strap they had already jumped the shark... now we are treated to dreck like "step into my office baby" WTF was that shit?? oh my god... UNLISTENABLE CRAP...

    now they just seem to want to be a fey version of the Kinks..

    utter crap

    file under stereolab ie a band with MAYBE one decent record and an endless snooze button career

    Granted B&S post Arab strap is not as high quality, but I thought Tigermilk and If Your Feeling Sinister were well written albums. Its obvious that Morrissey was Murdochs idol in termns of writing but I don't know if I'd call it a striaght rip off. But even if it was one, who better to steal from when making sly and witty britpop music?

  • DubiousDubious 1,865 Posts
    tiger milk had more drum machines no?

    i dont really remember them.. they got soooooooo much hype at the time it was inevitable they would be dissipointing... i worked in a record stroe back then and that shit sold like hot cakes though.

    but hey i was too busy listening to the Beta Band at the time.. so maybe i shouldnt comment on the "quality" of B&S

  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
    tiger milk had more drum machines no?

    i dont really remember them.. they got soooooooo much hype at the time it was inevitable they would be dissipointing... i worked in a record stroe back then and that shit sold like hot cakes though.

    but hey i was too busy listening to the Beta Band at the time.. so maybe i shouldnt comment on the "quality" of B&S

    haha, I'm guilty of the same. Working in a record store circa 98/99 had me rocking Beta Band, B&S, and a ton of other Brit-pop lite groups.

    IMO the peak of this era of brit-pop came to its peak with OK computer dipped a bit, hit a plateau and then steadily declined the day Kid A was released.

    And yes Travis have become the most MOR group I am shamed to have actually liked. I still stand behind their 2nd & 3rd albums but the rest of the catalogue is low level shite
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