first off, it was one of my girl friends(the main reason i feel so bad about it, if it was one of my male buddies, he just woulda been like, i dont care)
and how it happened. i was real drunk and i was tryin to get some ice cream. i had a bowl in my hand. said girl comes up and takes my hat off and puts it on her head. i had the bowl in my right hand. the bill of the hat was out, ya follow? in my drunken state i tried to hit the hat OFF her head by hitting the bill and making the hat fly off, ya dig? in my drunken state i hit her in the mouth
when I was, like, 12 I threw a dirt clod at my friends sister. It hit her in the eye. It wasn't a dirt clod either, it was a piece of dirty cement.
first off, it was one of my girl friends(the main reason i feel so bad about it, if it was one of my male buddies, he just woulda been like, i dont care)
and how it happened. i was real drunk and i was tryin to get some ice cream. i had a bowl in my hand. said girl comes up and takes my hat off and puts it on her head. i had the bowl in my right hand. the bill of the hat was out, ya follow? in my drunken state i tried to hit the hat OFF her head by hitting the bill and making the hat fly off, ya dig? in my drunken state i hit her in the mouth
first off, it was one of my girl friends(the main reason i feel so bad about it, if it was one of my male buddies, he just woulda been like, i dont care)
and how it happened. i was real drunk and i was tryin to get some ice cream. i had a bowl in my hand. said girl comes up and takes my hat off and puts it on her head. i had the bowl in my right hand. the bill of the hat was out, ya follow? in my drunken state i tried to hit the hat OFF her head by hitting the bill and making the hat fly off, ya dig? in my drunken state i hit her in the mouth
totally honest mistake. if she's your friend she'll let that shit slide by the end of the week.
I did something similar last week while in Vancouver. My friend Eric and I had just left Eric's cousin's bar and I was really, really drunk...like, blacked out drunk. I don't remember why he did it, but all of a sudden my friend starts sprinting ahead of me. Once he gets to be about 25 yards away I throw a full 20oz bottle of water in his direction, but he's still running and I don't think there's any chance in hell that I'll hit him. Well, he keeps running and turns his head around briefly to look how far back I am and the water bottle hits him square in the jaw. Seriously, it was a one in million shot and as soon as I see what happens I start running up to him apologizing. Dude, who, by the way, is huge (like 6' 4" and 225), just straightens himself and says 'good snipe'.
first off, it was one of my girl friends(the main reason i feel so bad about it, if it was one of my male buddies, he just woulda been like, i dont care)
and how it happened. i was real drunk and i was tryin to get some ice cream. i had a bowl in my hand. said girl comes up and takes my hat off and puts it on her head. i had the bowl in my right hand. the bill of the hat was out, ya follow? in my drunken state i tried to hit the hat OFF her head by hitting the bill and making the hat fly off, ya dig? in my drunken state i hit her in the mouth
totally honest mistake. if she's your friend she'll let that shit slide by the end of the week.
I did something similar last week while in Vancouver. My friend Eric and I had just left Eric's cousin's bar and I was really, really drunk...like, blacked out drunk. I don't remember why he did it, but all of a sudden my friend starts sprinting ahead of me. Once he gets to be about 25 yards away I throw a full 20oz bottle of water in his direction, but he's still running and I don't think there's any chance in hell that I'll hit him. Well, he keeps running and turns his head around briefly to look how far back I am and the water bottle hits him square in the jaw. Seriously, it was a one in million shot and as soon as I see what happens I start running up to him apologizing. Dude, who, by the way, is huge (like 6' 4" and 225), just straightens himself and says 'good snipe'.
when I was, like, 12 I threw a dirt clod at my friends sister. It hit her in the eye. It wasn't a dirt clod either, it was a piece of dirty cement.
fuck dude i got that beat, when i was in fifth grade i knocked a girl out cold, yes with my fist
my dad told me to hit back when someone hits me, he didn't say anything about girls, but my principle quickly informed me of that rule
haha!!!
When I was in 7th grade there was this real, well, kinda manly girl in my math class. She used to really pick on me (i know, this is not a "good look") - anyhow, she had just been tormenting me that day, and I'm riding home on my bike & I see her & her friend up ahead. So, as I ride by, I hawk a big loogie & it hit her right in the face. I was pleased.
Next day at school I get suspended for it. WTF? It was after school?
When I was in the 3rd grade I was running to the bathroom. These 2 girls were playing chinese jump-rope (that's what they called it man) in front and I couldn't see what they were doing. It's basically a rubberband that goes around your ankles while someone jumps in and out of it. Anyway, I tripped over that shit running full speed and crashed on the cement. When I look up I see this chick Angela laughing and pointing at me so I punched her in the stomach. You wanna talk about .
When I was in the 3rd grade I was running to the bathroom. These 2 girls were playing chinese jump-rope (that's what they called it man) in front and I couldn't see what they were doing cause it's basically a rubberband that goes around your ankles while they jump in and out of it. Anyway, I tripped over that shit running full speed and crashed on the cement. When I look up I see this chick Angela laughing and pointing at me so I punched her in the stomach. You wanna talk about .
Don't hit girls
okay, okay. So when I was about 10 my friend's family invited me to have dinner with them at the house of a girl in the grade above my friend and I. This girl and I had this strange relationship where we'd tease each other and do mean things to each other, but in a fun proto-flirting type of way. Well, on this occasion the girl threw my hat out the front door and into about 2 feet of snow. I was in my socks, but the hat was close enough that I just ran outside without putting my shoes on. And, on que, the girl promptly locks me outside. 10 minutes later the girl's mother finds out and lets me back in. As soon as I step inside I see Elizabeth standing by her mom giggling her ass off. So, I walked right up to her and punched her in the stomach with everything I had. She fell backwards and started wheezing and coughing before unleashing a tumult of tears. And this, all in front of her mother and my friend's parents. Classy.
This post won't necessarily fit the ex-girlfriend non-appreciation post but maybe I can vent a little.. Well after 5 months my girl and I split. It was my fault that we are apart. I lied about dumb shit to her like smoking up with my boys and small stuff. I never once thought about cheating on her and I never had the desire to. All my lies added up. She has put up with all of my shit and I respect and appreciate her for that. I called her tonight after she told me not to call her and I poured my heart out to her. She was in tears and asked me to please not call her anymore because it's hard enough. I really fucked this up for myself. I can only hope that one day she'll forgive me and take me back. I had a great thing and I let it slip like sand through my fingers... The Express Rising LP has proven to be a wonderful piece of music the past few hours..If you want to mope on the introspective tip, play the Express Rising album...Dante has crafted an album which really captures the mood I'm in...Cedar Chest (track 6 is on repeat)..something about that piano loop makes me want to crawl in a hole..
Sorry for all the sappy shit..I just needed to get it out..
There was this girl in 4th grade that I really liked, so what better way to show her how much I liked her than to (first) smash an apple on her head or (later) whip her with the keys on a lanyard like I was a ninja, causing her to bleed.
I also threw a D battery at my big sister's head once. She had a big old lump.
There was this girl in 4th grade that I really liked, so what better way to show her how much I liked her than to (first) smash an apple on her head or (later) whip her with the keys on a lanyard like I was a ninja, causing her to bleed.
I still do this to get girls. You'd be surprised how often it works! But when it fails, it fails big time.
this is an awesome thread. Maybe also a new low for soulstrut too, I dunno.
If this thread were printed out and recited over rap beats, Reynaldo would not approve.
hehe!!!
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
Hey,
My most important "ex" was my ex-fiancee. She was back home while I was away at grad school. We simply grew apart. Her primary ambition was to get married (i.e., no ambition whatsoever) and was pressuring me to do so while I was in my doctoral program. What? How could I support a wife on a measly graduate assistantship of 10K? Anyway, we broke it off in '95 'cause she wanted to be a club-hopper and chase GI's. When we were breaking up, she asked me if I would still come by and "hit her off" while I came home from school. Ah....no!!!!!!
The remainder of my so-called "ex's" were girls that I was stuntin' out that wanted too much. These were the women that ignored my "I don't want a commitment or a girlfriend, I just want to kick it and have fun with you" speeches. After bonin' properly, they'd get on some clingy shit. I had this borderline psycho-chick in G-Boro that I met at NCCU's homecoming back in '91. She was a hottie from NC A&T that gave amaaaaaazing brains (she had some good cookie too). It was funny, she was from Carrboro and talked all proper and shit normally, but cussed like a sailor when I was taxin' that ass!!! Anyway, I used to drive up there to hit her off on the weekends, but then she wanted to take things further when I did not. She would write these obssesive-sounding letters about how she wanted to see me more, why didn't I call her more, blah, blah, blah. She wasn't even my girl! Goes to show, when Stacks hits 'em off, they got addicted to it like crack. It was hard to shake 'em sometimes. I think it was my "treat 'em like a lady steeze" that made them fall all ga-ga like that. Sure I was stuntin' them, but I always paid attention to them and made them feel special.
The remainder of my so-called "ex's" were girls that I was stuntin' out that wanted too much. These were the women that ignored my "I don't want a commitment or a girlfriend, I just want to kick and have fun with you" speeches. After bonin' properly, they'd get on some clingy shit. I had this borderline psycho-chick in G-Boro that I met at NCCU's homecoming back in '91. She was a hottie from NC A&T that gave amaaaaaazing brains (she had some good cookie too). It was funny, she was from Carrboro and talked all proper and shit normally, but cussed like a sailor when I was taxin' that ass!!! Anyway, I used to drive up there to hit her off on the weekends, but then she wanted to take things further when I did not. She would write these obssesive-sounding letters about how she wanted to see me more, why didn't I call her more, blah, blah, blah. She wasn't even my girl! Goes to show, when Stacks hits 'em off, they got addicted to it like crack. It was hard to shake 'em sometimes. I think it was my "treat 'em like a lady steeze" that made fall all ga-ga like that. Sure I was stuntin' them, but I always paid attention to them and made them feel special.
If I were a young single dude, I would copy this out on a notecard and carry it around in my wallet for inspiration.
The remainder of my so-called "ex's" were girls that I was stuntin' out that wanted too much. These were the women that ignored my "I don't want a commitment or a girlfriend, I just want to kick and have fun with you" speeches. After bonin' properly, they'd get on some clingy shit. I had this borderline psycho-chick in G-Boro that I met at NCCU's homecoming back in '91. She was a hottie from NC A&T that gave amaaaaaazing brains (she had some good cookie too). It was funny, she was from Carrboro and talked all proper and shit normally, but cussed like a sailor when I was taxin' that ass!!! Anyway, I used to drive up there to hit her off on the weekends, but then she wanted to take things further when I did not. She would write these obssesive-sounding letters about how she wanted to see me more, why didn't I call her more, blah, blah, blah. She wasn't even my girl! Goes to show, when Stacks hits 'em off, they got addicted to it like crack. It was hard to shake 'em sometimes. I think it was my "treat 'em like a lady steeze" that made fall all ga-ga like that. Sure I was stuntin' them, but I always paid attention to them and made them feel special.
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
The remainder of my so-called "ex's" were girls that I was stuntin' out that wanted too much. These were the women that ignored my "I don't want a commitment or a girlfriend, I just want to kick and have fun with you" speeches. After bonin' properly, they'd get on some clingy shit. I had this borderline psycho-chick in G-Boro that I met at NCCU's homecoming back in '91. She was a hottie from NC A&T that gave amaaaaaazing brains (she had some good cookie too). It was funny, she was from Carrboro and talked all proper and shit normally, but cussed like a sailor when I was taxin' that ass!!! Anyway, I used to drive up there to hit her off on the weekends, but then she wanted to take things further when I did not. She would write these obssesive-sounding letters about how she wanted to see me more, why didn't I call her more, blah, blah, blah. She wasn't even my girl! Goes to show, when Stacks hits 'em off, they got addicted to it like crack. It was hard to shake 'em sometimes. I think it was my "treat 'em like a lady steeze" that made fall all ga-ga like that. Sure I was stuntin' them, but I always paid attention to them and made them feel special.
Dude.
I AM SO FEELING YOU RIGHT NOW (*PASUE*).
That is all.
Herm SupaSperm
Yo Hotsauce,
Here is a secret that I learned that created the pussy-gettin' machine I became during my bachelor days: All women, whether girls-next-doors or superhoes, want a guy that pays attention to them and makes them feel special. I would be straight-up to them about my intentions, and they went with the program anyway. They couldn't resist that good treatment I gave them, regardless of the fact that I was just gettin' some ass. Nuts, isn't it???
I think it was my "treat 'em like a lady steeze" that made fall all ga-ga like that.
This is the truth.com, for reals. It's the Curse of the Gentleman With The Healthy Libido. I am currently dealing with this issue with 2 very sweet and very sexy ladyfriends. For the first time in my life, it's happening SIMULTANEOUSLY. Shit is hard. I'm a greedy motherfucker, too, I don't want to lose those benefits, feelme? (Fortunately, I have a Plan B....and a Plan C, both of which have yet to reach that level. Plan for the future, hoLmes.)
Comments
when I was, like, 12 I threw a dirt clod at my friends sister. It hit her in the eye. It wasn't a dirt clod either, it was a piece of dirty cement.
You're still gonna look back and laugh at it man. It was an accident (or some kind of subconscious fruedian outburst - kidding).
Sounds like your "pimp hand" is strong
totally honest mistake. if she's your friend she'll let that shit slide by the end of the week.
I did something similar last week while in Vancouver. My friend Eric and I had just left Eric's cousin's bar and I was really, really drunk...like, blacked out drunk. I don't remember why he did it, but all of a sudden my friend starts sprinting ahead of me. Once he gets to be about 25 yards away I throw a full 20oz bottle of water in his direction, but he's still running and I don't think there's any chance in hell that I'll hit him. Well, he keeps running and turns his head around briefly to look how far back I am and the water bottle hits him square in the jaw. Seriously, it was a one in million shot and as soon as I see what happens I start running up to him apologizing. Dude, who, by the way, is huge (like 6' 4" and 225), just straightens himself and says 'good snipe'.
alot better than my friends who just cut up on me
haha!!!
fuck dude i got that beat, when i was in fifth grade i knocked a girl out cold, yes with my fist
my dad told me to hit back when someone hits me, he didn't say anything about girls, but my principle quickly informed me of that rule
gangster.
damn that's funny and fucked up at the same time.
I say you let her punch you in the mouth too, and all is fair.
but seriously, you'll be fine kid.
haha!!!
When I was in 7th grade there was this real, well, kinda manly girl in my math class. She used to really pick on me (i know, this is not a "good look") - anyhow, she had just been tormenting me that day, and I'm riding home on my bike & I see her & her friend up ahead. So, as I ride by, I hawk a big loogie & it hit her right in the face. I was pleased.
Next day at school I get suspended for it. WTF? It was after school?
Don't hit girls
okay, okay. So when I was about 10 my friend's family invited me to have dinner with them at the house of a girl in the grade above my friend and I. This girl and I had this strange relationship where we'd tease each other and do mean things to each other, but in a fun proto-flirting type of way. Well, on this occasion the girl threw my hat out the front door and into about 2 feet of snow. I was in my socks, but the hat was close enough that I just ran outside without putting my shoes on. And, on que, the girl promptly locks me outside. 10 minutes later the girl's mother finds out and lets me back in. As soon as I step inside I see Elizabeth standing by her mom giggling her ass off. So, I walked right up to her and punched her in the stomach with everything I had. She fell backwards and started wheezing and coughing before unleashing a tumult of tears. And this, all in front of her mother and my friend's parents. Classy.
Sorry for all the sappy shit..I just needed to get it out..
I also threw a D battery at my big sister's head once. She had a big old lump.
Don't hit girls, dudes.
Yeah, let her WORK YOU SON.
I still do this to get girls. You'd be surprised how often it works! But when it fails, it fails big time.
If this thread were printed out and recited over rap beats, Reynaldo would not approve.
damn right.
location!
hehe!!!
My most important "ex" was my ex-fiancee. She was back home while I was away at grad school. We simply grew apart. Her primary ambition was to get married (i.e., no ambition whatsoever) and was pressuring me to do so while I was in my doctoral program. What? How could I support a wife on a measly graduate assistantship of 10K? Anyway, we broke it off in '95 'cause she wanted to be a club-hopper and chase GI's. When we were breaking up, she asked me if I would still come by and "hit her off" while I came home from school. Ah....no!!!!!!
The remainder of my so-called "ex's" were girls that I was stuntin' out that wanted too much. These were the women that ignored my "I don't want a commitment or a girlfriend, I just want to kick it and have fun with you" speeches. After bonin' properly, they'd get on some clingy shit. I had this borderline psycho-chick in G-Boro that I met at NCCU's homecoming back in '91. She was a hottie from NC A&T that gave amaaaaaazing brains (she had some good cookie too). It was funny, she was from Carrboro and talked all proper and shit normally, but cussed like a sailor when I was taxin' that ass!!! Anyway, I used to drive up there to hit her off on the weekends, but then she wanted to take things further when I did not. She would write these obssesive-sounding letters about how she wanted to see me more, why didn't I call her more, blah, blah, blah. She wasn't even my girl! Goes to show, when Stacks hits 'em off, they got addicted to it like crack. It was hard to shake 'em sometimes. I think it was my "treat 'em like a lady steeze" that made them fall all ga-ga like that. Sure I was stuntin' them, but I always paid attention to them and made them feel special.
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
If I were a young single dude, I would copy this out on a notecard and carry it around in my wallet for inspiration.
Dude.
I AM SO FEELING YOU RIGHT NOW (*PASUE*).
That is all.
Herm SupaSperm
REYNALDO HAVE LOVING PARENTS WHO SUPPORT HIM & RAISE HIM GOOD. NO SMOKING. NO FIGHTING.
AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! [/b]
This thread is a "certified hood classic".
Yo Hotsauce,
Here is a secret that I learned that created the pussy-gettin' machine I became during my bachelor days: All women, whether girls-next-doors or superhoes, want a guy that pays attention to them and makes them feel special. I would be straight-up to them about my intentions, and they went with the program anyway. They couldn't resist that good treatment I gave them, regardless of the fact that I was just gettin' some ass. Nuts, isn't it???
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
This is the truth.com, for reals. It's the Curse of the Gentleman With The Healthy Libido. I am currently dealing with this issue with 2 very sweet and very sexy ladyfriends. For the first time in my life, it's happening SIMULTANEOUSLY. Shit is hard. I'm a greedy motherfucker, too, I don't want to lose those benefits, feelme? (Fortunately, I have a Plan B....and a Plan C, both of which have yet to reach that level. Plan for the future, hoLmes.)
Herm
aka The Sam Malone Of This Shit