Filmstrut - worst accents?

Diamante_DDiamante_D 215 Posts
edited January 2006 in Strut Central
Right then dudes, I watched the abomination that is 'Green Street' this weekend and have to say that that blonde skinhead bloke had the WORST cockney accent I've EVER heard. It was all like 'BLEEDING 'ELL GUVNER' then he slips back into his own American accent for a few words, then it's 'CUP A FACKIN ROSEY LEE' again. This was hands down the most excruciating regional accent I've endured since Don Cheadle's in Oceans 11. Question is, what are other examples of duff accents on celluloid? I'm especially interested in hearing from American Strutters, because it's tough for me to tell what's a bad -say- Texas accent. I heard Brad Pitt does a stinker of patois in 'Meet Joe Black', but I've not witnessed that first hand, so I really can't comment.
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  • m_dejeanm_dejean Quadratisch. Praktisch. Gut. 2,946 Posts
    The german nihilists from 'The Big Lebowski' (Peter Stormare, Red Hot Flea & Torsten Voges):



    The Dude: Well, they finally did it. They killed my fucking car.

    Nihilist: Ve vant ze money, Lebowski.

    Nihilist #2: Ja, uzzervize ve kill ze girl.

    Nihilist: Ve don't care. Ve still vant ze money, Lebowski, or ve fuck you up.

    ???and so on





    One of my favorite movies, by the way. I know that accent is intentionally bad, and Stormare and Voges are swedish and german, but that's like the blueprint of faux-german accents. The worst thing is, there are a zillion 'serious' american war movies with german accents excactly as bad. In fact anytime americans try to sound french, swedish, british, italian, greek, whatever - it's absolutely cringe-worthy. They just can't do it, and it's plain embarrasing.



    If you really need that old world element, at least get it right and get an actor who speaks the language to do it.



    Do:



    Don't:





    (Disclaimer: this is in no way an endorsement of feel-good romantic comedies)



    Then again, the door swings both ways:





    "Ess narrdar tumar!!!"[/b]



    I do think my countryman Connie Nielsen does a good job, though. Hot too.










  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,875 Posts
    Eventhough I enjoyed most of the film (Cept for the last 30 mins). Hands down...
    Ziyi Zhang doing a Japanese accent in English in Memoirs of a Geisha was pretty damn bad. Tho she was really good in the snow dance scene.

  • Eventhough I enjoyed most of the film (Cept for the last 30 mins). Hands down...
    Ziyi Zhang doing a Japanese accent in English in Memoirs of a Geisha was pretty damn bad. Tho she was really good in the snow dance scene.

    I'll bet there's quite a few heads pissed off over the casting of predominantly Chinese actors to play Japanese roles in that one. But hey, all asians look the same though - right? What next? getting a brit to play Ghandi!

  • djrdjr 511 Posts

    I saw a commercial for a remake of a Pink Panther movie last night with Steve Martin as Clouseau - that looks like a turd of a movie - and it seemed the french accent was particularly bad.

  • FlomotionFlomotion 2,385 Posts
    In Big Fish Ewan McGregor and Helena Bonham Carter attempted the most toe-curling southern accents ever heard on film. The movie was even worse.




  • BelsonBelson 880 Posts
    Ewan MacGregor as Oobi Doobi Kenoobi in multiple Star Wars flicks.


    'This storm will slow them down'?


    You must be awfully 'pride'.

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,875 Posts
    Eventhough I enjoyed most of the film (Cept for the last 30 mins). Hands down...
    Ziyi Zhang doing a Japanese accent in English in Memoirs of a Geisha was pretty damn bad. Tho she was really good in the snow dance scene.

    I'll bet there's quite a few heads pissed off over the casting of predominantly Chinese actors to play Japanese roles in that one. But hey, all asians look the same though - right? What next? getting a brit to play Ghandi!

    I bet there's more than a few heads...

    I don't understand this whole "All asians look alike deal". It's not like anyone can look at someone thats white and tell me if he's from or where someone black is from.

    Most of my "asian" friends can't tell who's who either.

    But I understand in part wut people are saying...

    Whatever.. Like I said... I thought the movie itself was pretty good (Girlfriend dragged me). The first half mostly. Suzuka Ohgo was really good as Chiyo. I thought she killed it. And eventhough I thought Ziyi Zhang wrecked things with the accent and that they could have picked a Japanese actress for the part no problem. She still did a really good job in the snow dance scene. But really it was the ending that wrecked the film for me. I hate when I'm enjoying 2/3 of a movie and it goes to shite...

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts

    I saw a commercial for a remake of a Pink Panther movie last night with Steve Martin as Clouseau - that looks like a turd of a movie - and it seemed the french accent was particularly bad.

    Kick me if i'm missing internet sarcasm but although I have no doubt that this film will be shit the whole point of Martin's accent should be that it's atrocious.

    What next? getting a brit to play Ghandi!

    Actually, already covered this one, Kingsley's birth name is Krishna Bhanji.

    Anything where Michael Caine isn't supposed to be a cockney is normally pretty painful accents wise.

    Costner's accent in Robin Hood is beyond shite.

  • m_dejeanm_dejean Quadratisch. Praktisch. Gut. 2,946 Posts

    I saw a commercial for a remake of a Pink Panther movie last night with Steve Martin as Clouseau - that looks like a turd of a movie - and it seemed the french accent was particularly bad.

    Peter Sellers in the old Panther movies is a special case, because his comedic talent made it work. P. Sellers can do no wrong in my book.

    I used to love Steve Martin during the Carl Reiner era (Jerk, Plaid, Two Brains et.c.), but he fell of in the 90s, and him playing Closeau is .

  • Colin Farrel's fruity Irish/Euro mishmash in Alexander was a shocker. And Angelina's camp Drah-cu-la type accent was pretty funny.

    The worst recent film was The Brothers Grimm. The accents were atrocious, By everyone. Even the 2 "brothers" had different accents.

    But i hate stupid American films like Costner's version of Robin Hood 'Prince of Thieves' that is dominated by US accents... A severely English tale is mauled to death by misplaced voices.

    Anyone ever see Yves Simoneau's Napolean TV series. THE WORST example of an accent slaughterhouse. More American accents playing Euros. So distracting. I'd rather watch the French dubbed version (never thought I'd say that).

  • DJPrestigeDJPrestige 1,710 Posts
    Eventhough I enjoyed most of the film (Cept for the last 30 mins). Hands down...
    Ziyi Zhang doing a Japanese accent in English in Memoirs of a Geisha was pretty damn bad. Tho she was really good in the snow dance scene.

    I'll bet there's quite a few heads pissed off over the casting of predominantly Chinese actors to play Japanese roles in that one. But hey, all asians look the same though - right? What next? getting a brit to play Ghandi!

    how about an irishman playing alexander.....with the accent





  • Hello, I'm a russhian shubmarine captian



    Hello, I'm an English Shecret Shervice agent



    Hello, I'm an Irish-American police shargent

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,875 Posts

    Costner's accent in Robin Hood is beyond shite.

    HA... True

  • m_dejeanm_dejean Quadratisch. Praktisch. Gut. 2,946 Posts
    Hello, I'm a russhian shubmarine captian

    Hello, I'm an English Shecret Shervice agent

    Hello, I'm an Irish-American police shargent


  • FlomotionFlomotion 2,385 Posts


    Anything where Michael Caine isn't supposed to be a cockney is normally pretty painful accents wise.

    Thankfully, Caine and Sean Connery hardly ever bother to do accents.

  • djrdjr 511 Posts

    I saw a commercial for a remake of a Pink Panther movie last night with Steve Martin as Clouseau - that looks like a turd of a movie - and it seemed the french accent was particularly bad.

    Kick me if i'm missing internet sarcasm but although I have no doubt that this film will be shit the whole point of Martin's accent should be that it's atrocious.


    But there is a difference between bad = humorous (Sellers) and bad = shite (Martin).

  • every movie set in the south ever made outside of sling blade.



    what is the deal with getting non southern actors to play southern people can't they just speak in their real accent and pretend to be southerners? for instance i don't ever recall billy bob thornton to be asked ot play a northeastern mobster ever.



    are there really that few good southern actors ?



    dave

  • I can't forget this one were Kilmer does a heap of accents. Tries his hand at a bonza cobber Aussie accent. We pissed ourselves laughing at his attempt.




  • What next? getting a brit to play Ghandi!

    Actually, already covered this one, Kingsley's birth name is Krishna Bhanji.


    Man, I did not know that. Dude's a quality actor whatever way you look at it and did a good job in that particular pic anyway.

    He's also good in Sexy Beast (with a cockney accent I was convinced by).

  • mistercmisterc 329 Posts
    every movie set in the south ever made outside of sling blade.


    ...and Cool Hand Luke.

    Also 99% of all Americans do garbage Lucky Charms Irish accents. Tom Cruise in Far and Away, Brad Pitt in Devil's Own, Spacey was in some awful Northern Ireland movie too. Cameron Diaz takes the cake for Gangs of New York though.

  • LamontLamont 1,087 Posts
    "AAAI HOOV AO HOOUSE IN AOFRECA"


  • The_NonThe_Non 5,691 Posts
    Keanu Reeves Brit accent in Dracula was the worst EVAR!!!!!!!!![/b]

    John Turturro's Southern accent is a close second[/b]

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts

    I saw a commercial for a remake of a Pink Panther movie last night with Steve Martin as Clouseau - that looks like a turd of a movie - and it seemed the french accent was particularly bad.

    Kick me if i'm missing internet sarcasm but although I have no doubt that this film will be shit the whole point of Martin's accent should be that it's atrocious.


    But there is a difference between bad = humorous (Sellers) and bad = shite (Martin).

    Yeah point taken. Unfortunately Martin's funny period has now been gone almost 20 years.

    Actually though TV rather than film, can't ignore Jane Leeves in Frasier who manages to deliver a fucking awful mockney accent despite being british and from Ilford.



  • Actually though TV rather than film, can't ignore Jane Leeves in Frasier who manages to deliver a fucking awful mockney accent despite being british and from Ilford.

    Naw, she's supposed to be a manc - surely

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,517 Posts
    Hello, I'm a russhian shubmarine captian
    Hello, I'm an English Shecret Shervice agent
    Hello, I'm an Irish-American police shargent

    OH SHIT!!!

    classic.

  • jleejlee 1,539 Posts
    Hello, I'm a russhian shubmarine captian
    Hello, I'm an English Shecret Shervice agent
    Hello, I'm an Irish-American police shargent


    haha

    YOU'RE THE MAN NOW DAWG!!!!!![/b]







  • DrWuDrWu 4,021 Posts
    This guy just cannot do an American accent to save his life. He is always slipping in and out of it during films.



  • MjukisMjukis 1,675 Posts
    For some reason, there's a lot of Swedish being spoken in American film. Sometimes it's accurate (Minor Report - Peter Stormare telling the nurse to "wipe her ass and get out her" while the mad nurse is singing a Swedish childrens song had the entire theatre rolling on the floor) and sometimes it's just some sort of mythical, make-believe language.
    Top Secret was really funny, when they just played the scene backwards. Splash was pretty weird. And the list goes on...

    Regarding Big Lebowski - Stormares band is called Nagelbett (meaning nailbite in Swedish, possibly in German too). Good name for a krautrock band, that.

  • ZomBZomB 397 Posts
    Another nomination for ewan mcgregor trying to sound like a cool all american action hero dude in the island.
    I didnt think it was that bad in starwars though since he had to make his voice sound all posh like alec guinness'.

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,518 Posts
    every movie set in the south ever made outside of sling blade.

    what is the deal with getting non southern actors to play southern people can't they just speak in their real accent and pretend to be southerners? for instance i don't ever recall billy bob thornton to be asked ot play a northeastern mobster ever.

    are there really that few good southern actors ?

    dave

    My friend from North Caroline taught me about bad Southern accents. From gone with the wind to Street Car Named Desire up to today films set in the South have messed up accents. There was one not long ago about 4 women from a Southern town. The cast all Southern acctress and ended up with a Texas accent a Tennesse accent and so on.

    Dan
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