prenup strut

ayo

im so far from marriage but with all these enagement posts i am just wondering if any of you guys have prenups. im in my mid 20's and own my crib, and by the time i am ready to get married i think i will have accumulated some assets. the laws now are that the spouse can get half. im not trying to have wifey wake up one day after 4 years and say "its been real but no thanks" and try to take half my loot. maybe i been listening to howard stern too much...

Birdman9

im so far from marriage but with all these enagement posts i am just wondering if any of you guys have prenups. im in my mid 20's and own my crib, and by the time i am ready to get married i think i will have accumulated some assets. the laws now are that the spouse can get half. im not trying to have wifey wake up one day after 4 years and say "its been real but no thanks" and try to take half my loot. maybe i been listening to howard stern too much...

Yup. Mainly because my wife's house is in her name,and her mother lives there. So she wanted to make sure that remained constant no matter what the future might hold.

DocBeezy

its a good idea.

indiana45s

its a good idea.

Unless you have assload of cash, a prenup is really

DocBeezy

its a good idea.

Unless you have assload of cash, a prenup is really

not really. I saw my boy who got married, got divorced, and lost almost everything. all for 2 years of marriage. that is

Swayze

its a good idea.

Unless you have assload of cash, a prenup is really

yes, this is actually where the conversation went when i became disengaged... her mom said "well, you know when you guys get divorced she'll get your house, right?"

NateBizzo

100% getting one when I get married.

DocBeezy

100% getting one when I get married.

I would have got one, but I didnt have anything before we got married.

Imperial_Mao

Unfortunately in the UK prenups don't hold much water in court, but I think along the same lines as you, home owner etc.
Especially considering some of the horror stories some of my friends have...

Swayze

100% getting one when I get married.

it's funny, cause you look like an asshole saying that out loud, but really... i feel the same way. i've worked really hard to buy a house, have savings, etc. my mom fleeced my step-dad this way. she got half his retirement, and basically lived like a queen the whole time they were married, didn't do shit. it's something that she and i still can't talk about. my step-dad's the hommie.

bassie

it???s a drag to think about ??? who gets what if this doesn???t last.

i???m not married and don???t ever see myself getting married, but i do live with someone and we???ve accumulated things together. the thought of having to talk about who gets what if we ever split is so distasteful/depressing. the cats alone???

prenups don???t cover custody of children do they? ??? that would be a horrible discussion, too.

Swayze

prenups don???t cover custody of children do they? ??? that would be a horrible discussion, too.

that's called a "parenting plan".

pickwick33

I think along the same lines as you, home owner etc.
Especially considering some of the horror stories some of my friends have...

Even if you don't own property, there's a good chance you might lose something else of personal value. A guy I know who got divorced lost not only the house he lived in, but his record collection...this wasn't some stash of common REO Speedwagon albums, we're talking rare, collectible, OG, never-see-again R&B 45's here. I don't mean to be unkind, but when I heard that tale I knew right then that a prenuptual agreement was the way to go.

bassie

prenups don???t cover custody of children do they? ??? that would be a horrible discussion, too.

that's called a "parenting plan".

i feel the best-laid plans would go out the window pretty quickly when faced with every other weekend and alternate holidays...

Birdman9

I think along the same lines as you, home owner etc.
Especially considering some of the horror stories some of my friends have...

Even if you don't own property, there's a good chance you might lose something else of personal value. A guy I know who got divorced lost not only the house he lived in, but his record collection...this wasn't some stash of common REO Speedwagon albums, we're talking rare, collectible, OG, never-see-again R&B 45's here. I don't mean to be unkind, but when I heard that tale I knew right then that a prenuptual agreement was the way to go.

My wife actually told me, "I want you to know that I would never take your records."

I actually had a bit of a struggle with the prenup because it does get to some really cold truths. But it's ultimately a very basic agreement that in the case of a split, we would leave with what we came in with, and split whatever we obtained during the marriage.

Swayze

prenups don???t cover custody of children do they? ??? that would be a horrible discussion, too.

that's called a "parenting plan".

i feel the best-laid plans would go out the window pretty quickly when faced with every other weekend and alternate holidays...

welcome to my world... at least in two years, my boy can decide where he lives full-time.

DocBeezy

dawg, how old is your kid? how old are you?

Swayze

dawg, how old is your kid? how old are you?

my kid will be 11 on jan 23rd, and i'll turn 29 four days before that. it's cool because we always have simultanious birthday parties.

Funky_McVay

curious, anyone know if asset entitlement comes into play in a common law marriage? I'm really not familiar with the common law marriage at all. Are these really acknowledged?

Swayze

curious, anyone know if asset entitlement comes into play in a common law marriage? I'm really not familiar with the common law marriage at all. Are these really acknowledged?

state-side? yes. my uncle got fucked a few years ago on this... hmmm... unclefucker.

novasol

If a couple can handle discussing a prenup, they have a maturity not often seen! How it is approached to signif other makes a world of a difference. Social imbalance towards women is fuked^ sometimes. Also keep in mind each state has different laws regarding prenups, divorce settlements etc.

It's topics like these that always stirs up my dislike for a small side of feminism. Social equality is just that...not a pick and choose wave the finger bullshit. It's as if this small group of neanderthallish women want to be second class citizens.

bassie

Social equality is just that...not a pick and choose wave the finger bullshit. It's as if this small group of neanderthallish women want to be second class citizens.

i don't understand what you are saying...please elaborate.

novasol

i don't understand what you are saying...please elaborate.

A small minority of women prefer second class citizen status. Far right conservative women who reject many of the advances women have made since the late 1800's for example. Generally, in the case of marriage/divorce, the scales tend to tip in favor of women. It is this unbalanced shift that still treats women as second class citizens.

Lets use these simple examples for illustration.

Women who make a ruckus over equal pay, yet expect men to pay the bill(s).

Or a man who always pays the dining check, takes the authorative "caregiver" status. Apply same concept to that of a divorce settlement where the mans loses most what he has put into the relationship (no children involve, both work, only diff. is that one is male/ female),continues the "caregiver" status after divorcing. Am I making sense?

gloom

this subject is definately shady. it just seems like even if you had the slightest inclination that you should look into a prenup, is it not time to get married? i mean isnt a marraige based on trust and respect? obviously there as an underlying lack of one (or both) of those aspects when you began the marraige if they have the heart to tackle you like that if a marraige goes sour. but i guess on the other hand, in five years, who really knows where you will be, or how you will act or feel. the way the marraige ends probably has alot to do with the fights in court.



for people that have done it, how do you even go about bringing it up, let alone doing it, without offending the spouse. it just seems like you would be taking back feelings upon entering the marriage, or displaying a sense of distrust towards them. how do you avoid sending the wrong signals?



touchy.

DocBeezy

this subject is definately shady. it just seems like even if you had the slightest inclination that you should look into a prenup, is it not time to get married? i mean isnt a marraige based on trust and respect? obviously there as an underlying lack of one (or both) of those aspects when you began the marraige if they have the heart to tackle you like that if a marraige goes sour. but i guess on the other hand, in five years, who really knows where you will be, or how you will act or feel. the way the marraige ends probably has alot to do with the fights in court.

for people that have done it, how do you even go about bringing it up, let alone doing it, without offending the spouse. it just seems like you would be taking back feelings upon entering the marriage, or displaying a sense of distrust towards them. how do you avoid sending the wrong signals?

touchy.

great way to look at it.

but come on. Shit changes.

gloom

this subject is definately shady. it just seems like even if you had the slightest inclination that you should look into a prenup, is it not time to get married? i mean isnt a marraige based on trust and respect? obviously there as an underlying lack of one (or both) of those aspects when you began the marraige if they have the heart to tackle you like that if a marraige goes sour. but i guess on the other hand, in five years, who really knows where you will be, or how you will act or feel. the way the marraige ends probably has alot to do with the fights in court.



for people that have done it, how do you even go about bringing it up, let alone doing it, without offending the spouse. it just seems like you would be taking back feelings upon entering the marriage, or displaying a sense of distrust towards them. how do you avoid sending the wrong signals?



touchy.

great way to look at it.



but come on. Shit changes.

yeah i can see that happening. im still farely new at life (20) and the longest relationship ive been in is the one im in now (3 years), in which weve never really had a HUGE fight, so its just hard for me to envision things like this going down, without one or more of the people involved obviously being in it for the wrong reasons (GREED) or just a total asshole/bitch. just based on the stories ive heard in this thread, and in real life, when people describe the person who is taking the advantage, it just screams "GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP" to me, but feelings and shit get in the way, and cloud your visions and perceptions i suppose.

holmes

From personal experience, not having a pre-nup is a great way to cull down your record/cd/money collection.

mrpek

Wierd question.....Can she take your raers?
This could be some serious coin for a big dude collection.

holmes

Wierd question.....Can she take your raers?
This could be some serious coin for a big dude collection.

Yes

pickwick33

Wierd question.....Can she take your raers?

HELL YES[/b]

see my previous post in this thread

bassie

i don't understand what you are saying...please elaborate.

A small minority of women prefer second class citizen status. Far right conservative women who reject many of the advances women have made since the late 1800's for example. Generally, in the case of marriage/divorce, the scales tend to tip in favor of women. It is this unbalanced shift that still treats women as second class citizens.

Lets use these simple examples for illustration.

, yet expect men to pay the bill(s).

Or a man who always pays the dining check, takes the authorative "caregiver" status. Apply same concept to that of a divorce settlement where the mans loses most what he has put into the relationship (no children involve, both work, only diff. is that one is male/ female),continues the "caregiver" status after divorcing. Am I making sense?

yes but i guess i never associate those women with feminism - that's what confused me about your original post.

it's dangerous territory to link equal pay with women who don't pay the bills.

in terms of the scales tipping in favour of women in traditional marriage/divorce - i disagree very strongly.