Now what I look like? Givin a chick half my trap like she wrote half my raps, yeah, I'm havin that you be the same chick when you leave me the bankbook and the credit cards and take everything you came wit
seriously though, its not something anyone wants to envision. But one could say the same about health/life Insurance like "oh, i dont want to think about getting in a bad car accident or dying so i wont get it." Shit happens, and we can't control other people's actions/decisions. Something of that sort must be the preface of bringing up the convo. I would try to have my lawyer handle it as much as possible. People dont realize that marriage is essentially a binding contract.
this subject is definately shady. it just seems like even if you had the slightest inclination that you should look into a prenup, is it not time to get married? i mean isnt a marraige based on trust and respect? obviously there as an underlying lack of one (or both) of those aspects when you began the marraige if they have the heart to tackle you like that if a marraige goes sour. but i guess on the other hand, in five years, who really knows where you will be, or how you will act or feel. the way the marraige ends probably has alot to do with the fights in court.
for people that have done it, how do you even go about bringing it up, let alone doing it, without offending the spouse. it just seems like you would be taking back feelings upon entering the marriage, or displaying a sense of distrust towards them. how do you avoid sending the wrong signals?
touchy.
great way to look at it.
but come on. Shit changes.
yeah i can see that happening. im still farely new at life (20) and the longest relationship ive been in is the one im in now (3 years), in which weve never really had a HUGE fight, so its just hard for me to envision things like this going down, without one or more of the people involved obviously being in it for the wrong reasons (GREED) or just a total asshole/bitch. just based on the stories ive heard in this thread, and in real life, when people describe the person who is taking the advantage, it just screams "GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP" to me, but feelings and shit get in the way, and cloud your visions and perceptions i suppose.
It is touchy, and like I said before, I had never thought about it before she brought it up. My wife is very blunt, so she just basically handed me the information she had and wanted me to read it through. I am the one in the relationship who likes to put everything off, etc, so that was my main reason for being a bit gun-shy at first.
It's like this....at your young age I don't think you should be thinking prenups unless you are an heir, a pro-baller or have some other lucrative career at a relatively young age. I also don't think you should be rushing into marriage without thinking about how you might change over the course of your lifetime, and the possibility that your partner might as well. When you are older, the romantic notions are still there, but tempered by experience and cold fact: pretty near half of all marriages in the US fail. I don't intend to get to divorced and neither does my wife, but no one who ever got married intended to fail at it. Best to keep the straight dope on paper from the start, just to hopefully avoid undue craziness in the event of a disaster.
We wrote our own prenup. It is short: "What is mine is yours, what is your is mine." and we both signed it.
MissB, marriage can be a great thing. After we decided we wanted to stay together forever, we decided that we wanted to declare our love before our family and friends. That's what the wedding meant for us, a public declaration of love.
The weird thing is that the wedding often becomes the wife's mother's little fantasy. We controlled (mostly) the ceremony and she controlled (mostly) the reception. My mom made me invite some people I really didn't want there, because "you can't invite A without inviting B"
The best child family plan I ever heard of was where the kids got the house, and the parents took turns living there.
It's like this....at your young age I don't think you should be thinking prenups unless you are an heir, a pro-baller or have some other lucrative career at a relatively young age. You are wrong bro. its the guys that make 30-100k that get hit the hardest. If your a pro baller making 3 million a year who gives a fuck if you gotta give up half because $1.5mill is still plenty. the regular joe's get screwed because after giving up half of very little it isn't enough to live on, especially when you lose your house/apartment. That is why a lot of guys stay in these bad marriages. They can't deal with what they would be losing if they divorce.
It's like this....at your young age I don't think you should be thinking prenups unless you are an heir, a pro-baller or have some other lucrative career at a relatively young age. You are wrong bro. its the guys that make 30-100k that get hit the hardest. If your a pro baller making 3 million a year who gives a fuck if you gotta give up half because $1.5mill is still plenty. the regular joe's get screwed because after giving up half of very little it isn't enough to live on, especially when you lose your house/apartment. That is why a lot of guys stay in these bad marriages. They can't deal with what they would be losing if they divorce. What I mostly meant by that was that guys at 20 probably shouldn't be thinking marriage, period. But I hear you.
I'm cringing at the Love/Transaction thing yall got going on.....fuckanup. If your girls screwy like that don't marry her.
jesus..
Just in case this is aimed at me I want to clarify one thing:
My wife ain't screwy.
Her main motivation(and I am in agreement) is to protect her Mother's home(of which my wife is the primary owner) in the unlikely event that things between us ever got ugly. She is mainly looking out for her Mom's welfare. And ultimately, signing an agreement like this just isn't that big a deal.
I am happy for you that marriage is not your thing, but under most state's laws at 8 years in, you are under the same property-entitlement laws as most married couples, custody issues,etc. so in the end, it doesn't make much of a difference. Married or not, you are dreaming if you think, "if we split, we split". I guess if your life is that simple, congratulations.
MissB, marriage can be a great thing. After we decided we wanted to stay together forever, we decided that we wanted to declare our love before our family and friends. That's what the wedding meant for us, a public declaration of love.
I hear you and know it can be a beautiful thing - it's just not for me. I've never dreamt about the wedding, the ring, the public declaration, the dress, what have you. I love love and I love the idea of hooking up with someone you feel you can take on the world with - but marriage has never been part of my life plan.
Never say never though - anything can happen! I might have to say 'I do' for citizenship reasons or something.
Comments
like she wrote half my raps, yeah, I'm havin that
you be the same chick when you leave me
the bankbook and the credit cards and take everything you came wit
seriously though, its not something anyone wants to envision. But one could say the same about health/life Insurance like "oh, i dont want to think about getting in a bad car accident or dying so i wont get it." Shit happens, and we can't control other people's actions/decisions. Something of that sort must be the preface of bringing up the convo. I would try to have my lawyer handle it as much as possible. People dont realize that marriage is essentially a binding contract.
It is touchy, and like I said before, I had never thought about it before she brought it up. My wife is very blunt, so she just basically handed me the information she had and wanted me to read it through. I am the one in the relationship who likes to put everything off, etc, so that was my main reason for being a bit gun-shy at first.
It's like this....at your young age I don't think you should be thinking prenups unless you are an heir, a pro-baller or have some other lucrative career at a relatively young age. I also don't think you should be rushing into marriage without thinking about how you might change over the course of your lifetime, and the possibility that your partner might as well. When you are older, the romantic notions are still there, but tempered by experience and cold fact: pretty near half of all marriages in the US fail. I don't intend to get to divorced and neither does my wife, but no one who ever got married intended to fail at it. Best to keep the straight dope on paper from the start, just to hopefully avoid undue craziness in the event of a disaster.
jesus..
"What is mine is yours, what is your is mine."
and we both signed it.
MissB, marriage can be a great thing. After we decided we wanted to stay together forever, we decided that we wanted to declare our love before our family and friends. That's what the wedding meant for us, a public declaration of love.
The weird thing is that the wedding often becomes the wife's mother's little fantasy. We controlled (mostly) the ceremony and she controlled (mostly) the reception. My mom made me invite some people I really didn't want there, because "you can't invite A without inviting B"
The best child family plan I ever heard of was where the kids got the house, and the parents took turns living there.
Dan
You are wrong bro. its the guys that make 30-100k that get hit the hardest. If your a pro baller making 3 million a year who gives a fuck if you gotta give up half because $1.5mill is still plenty. the regular joe's get screwed because after giving up half of very little it isn't enough to live on, especially when you lose your house/apartment. That is why a lot of guys stay in these bad marriages. They can't deal with what they would be losing if they divorce.
Isn't adding anything but I'd probably get a prenup if I were to be married today. Can't speak on future.
You are wrong bro. its the guys that make 30-100k that get hit the hardest. If your a pro baller making 3 million a year who gives a fuck if you gotta give up half because $1.5mill is still plenty. the regular joe's get screwed because after giving up half of very little it isn't enough to live on, especially when you lose your house/apartment. That is why a lot of guys stay in these bad marriages. They can't deal with what they would be losing if they divorce.
What I mostly meant by that was that guys at 20 probably shouldn't be thinking marriage, period. But I hear you.
Just in case this is aimed at me I want to clarify one thing:
My wife ain't screwy.
Her main motivation(and I am in agreement) is to protect her Mother's home(of which my wife is the primary owner) in the unlikely event that things between us ever got ugly. She is mainly looking out for her Mom's welfare. And ultimately, signing an agreement like this just isn't that big a deal.
I am happy for you that marriage is not your thing, but under most state's laws at 8 years in, you are under the same property-entitlement laws as most married couples, custody issues,etc. so in the end, it doesn't make much of a difference. Married or not, you are dreaming if you think, "if we split, we split". I guess if your life is that simple, congratulations.
I hear you and know it can be a beautiful thing - it's just not for me. I've never dreamt about the wedding, the ring, the public declaration, the dress, what have you.
I love love and I love the idea of hooking up with someone you feel you can take on the world with - but marriage has never been part of my life plan.
Never say never though - anything can happen! I might have to say 'I do' for citizenship reasons or something.
Indeed!
Yes, not the best examples, but used for contrast. Most certainly a can-o-worms best not opened during nicoine withdrawl!
yeah, but she might be.