Clearing out old files and I found this list dated late 2003. Still kinda funny:
Top 30 Soulstrut Commandments!
1. If the inside ain't white, it's probably alright.
2. If it smells
… (more)like dust, then don't you fuss.
3. Bar code? Don't pay a load.
4. Paste-on cover? Fork it over.
5. If the seam is split, you gots the grit
6. Unless its wrapped in heavy cardboard, it most certainly is to be ignored.
7. If the mildew is present no need to be hesitant.
8. If it says Tijuana Brass, that's your cue to pass.
9. If it's after '74, then, digger take warnin'.
10. If it???s pre-???68, the breaks ain???t that great.
11. If its post-???78, it better have an 808.
12. If the covers not ragged, think twice before you bag it.
13. If it says Timmy Thomas, it's about as funky as the Amish.
14. If you're trying to ball, Don't put a reissue on your wall.
15. If it has the word chicken, you know it be kickin???.
16. "Funk" in the title don't mean it's vital.
17. If you don't have money to blow, don't go to a record show
18. Put bean dip on my Stark Reality, and there might be a fatality.
19. If it's by Rufus Thomas, you know there's a promise.
20. If Shadow looped it, PUT THAT SHIT ON THE 'BAY, STUPID!!!!
21. Fat B-Lines move the behinds.
22. Ill Horn Stabs make for good grabs.
23. If it smells like Charles Slocumb, you're bound to get open.
24. If there is a website on the other side, put it back and save your five.
25. Just because they're all white, doesn't mean that it ain't tight.
26. Fools give their money for the dealers to take then they get home and find a 4 second break!
27. Looks too mint? Probably in-print.
28. Worth the dough? Check for the fro!
29. Even with the fro, it can easily blow.
30. If you want to be a big player, you got to have every record by Leo Sayer.
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