TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    badder_than_evil said:


    The only thing Eboue reminds me of is the African bloke who used to show up at Desmonds.

    LOL.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts
    Pls to note YouTube is the brochure, J?? is the holiday.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Five months on from the uprising that toppled Egypt's dictatorship, Zamalek and Ahly will clash in one of the world's most hotly contested sporting derbies, commanding a television audience of 40 million in Egypt alone. Parts of the capital will be put into lockdown as thousands of armed police and army soldiers attempt to keep opposing supporters apart.

    "It's not just a game," says Hassan Almstkawy, a columnist for Al Ahram newspaper and the country's premier sporting pundit. "Apart from war, only two things can bring millions and millions of people onto the streets: revolution and football. Now we have both at the same time."

    Sounds like a cracking fixture.

    There's some footage of Egyptian forces using tazer devices on protesters, and I wondered if these would've been sold to Egypt during Cameron's opportunistic 'peace-envoy' mission earlier this year... spreading democracy and all that tosh.

  • anyone going on strike tomorrow?

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    I am on some kind of second hand strike action, since I have to look after the kids.

    I am not worried about offending anyone here who is at the business end of teaching children.
    I will say it to you now:
    You should be fucking ashamed of yourselves.
    Today's breed of school, college and Uni leaver are, on average, the worst I have come across in over a quarter of a century of interviewing, selecting and hiring people. The level of knowledge, nous, enterprise, manners and self-awareness is appalling. The level of expectation and entitlement beggars belief.
    How did you teachy people manage to balls it up so much?
    Is it Cameron's fault? Or Blair's, or Thatcher's? Or the parents'?
    Or is it, as I suspect, in large part yours?
    Speak on it.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    OK, on reflection that's a bit harsh.

    But the basic sentiment is solid. 20 y.o. dudes with degrees who don't know when WW1 took place, or can't string a sentence together without the use of 'like' every fifth word.

    What's been occurring dudes?
    I spent some extended time working in Tokyo.
    Rad place, cool, calm. collected, chilled, very together. Cute girls, clean streets, relaxed work environment compared to Anglo-Saxon banking culture.
    Were I a young man with no ties, I'd be in like Flynn I tells ya.

    Just downloaded Duder's Subliminal Massage mix onto the Ipod. The original rougher mix, natch.
    Along with over 800 jazzy fusionist library tracks. All put into a playlist called 'Euphoric Strolling', which is what it's good for.
    Why didn'y you bastards tell us Luddites about this Ipod thing before? It's so damn good.
    Jimster knows what I'm talmbout.
    Hints on earphone wire management welcome.

    Er, that's it.

  • It's pretty clear that the Tories want to characterise public sector workers as lazy, overpaid and stupid. This is pretty despicable.

    Skel, I think the quality of applicants you're getting speaks more to the character of the person who would apply for that type of job rather than the standard of education received by the rest of the population.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    neil_something said:
    It's pretty clear that the Tories want to characterise public sector workers as lazy, overpaid and stupid. This is pretty despicable.

    Skel, I think the quality of applicants you're getting speaks more to the character of the person who would apply for that type of job rather than the standard of education received by the rest of the population.

    Meow.

    I don't think it's the teachers per se. Everything cultural for kids nowadays is instant gratification, and in school it's all about tests from a very young age... you don't make a pig fat by weighing it all the time. Because the kids have to be drilled into getting the right answers to these tests, a broad (**good**) education is probably undeliverable, especially when teachers aren't allowed to do anything remotely physical or intimidating that might instil some respect/fear.
    All of the best teachers I had at school were feared as much as respected.

    As far as the strikes go, I fully support them. Public sector wages are generally very poor compared to the private sector, hence a stable, decent pension scheme being one of the few perks to tempt people in.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts
    Wifey has been a primary school teaching assistant in the past (volunteered, for no pay). Knocked it on the head because the teachers wanted to delegate all their work (including lesson plans) to the assistants (who should be there only to assist), leaving them free to, y'know, toss it off and avoid as much responsibility as poss. It's nice if you have aspirations of becoming a teacher and see this period as "Overpaying your dues" but if you are just there to help the kids and enjoy their company, like what the Mrs was expecting, to be saddled with the work teachers are paid to do kind of takes the shine off it.

    So this attitude from the teachers is one element.

    Then, add school ratings. I mean, we've all shovelled shit at the feet of the ladder, whilst protesting we are too good for it. But that's in the workplace, where if you are a liability, you will be sacked and replaced by someone competent. In primary school, the idea is that if kids struggle with the basics, they get help where possible. The rules are "All kids under x age must hit target y in subject z" in a way that can be measured an matriculated.

    So a series of hoops is erected, and the kids must progress through these hoops in strict order. Despite the fact that, [ironic use of Like coming up] like, the first ten hoops are really lame and for n00bs and despite the fact that some of the kids may be ready to do the last few already, the more able must enthusiastically do the n00b hoops or be deemed... uncooperative or worse, disinterested in learning. We are talking about pretty young kids who will not get the concept of being stigmatised as they progress through the school years.

    #1 son is way ahead of his targets for the three Rs but has been deemed disinterested after : eyerolling : work he considers boring. He doesn't need direction (he's going to be an artist and a wrestler, apparently), he just needs to master the "Smile and wave" approach better. I don't understand what the problem is, but these are the days of being reprimanded for drawing a house which doesn't identically resemble something Derren Brown could guess.

    Ultimately I blame the parents because every day you have the opportunity to show them what is rilly rill. Unless you have the coin, class sizes these days are so big that 1-on-1 stuff is gone. Don't waste these precious few hours after work facebooking or hex-boxing. Read to them. Ignite their imagination with some made-up stories.

    I feel really guilty when #1 son has gone to bed and I haven't gone through homework or chewed the fat. The wife is much better at this than I am, she'd be a brilliant teacher and I'd be brilliant at giving kids nightmares if it paid. (Currently halfway through the Tom 'Anks classic "Big" - The Zoltar machine has put the frightners on him). It's amazing what stuff they can understand (his mate's parents have just split) yet how easily their confidence is knocked by stuff adults don't even pay lipservice to.

    If you don't give the kids any 1-on-1 with adults, and offload them to their mates and videogames, they end up only knowing how to communicate with others their age (hence the "Like, " disease) and all the other ills Skel spoke of in his interviewees.

    My 2p.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    I do think the harsh economic reality is that investment returns have headed lower for a long time now and ageing profile is up.
    People need to get real on the numbers. Less pension, working longer.

    It is inescapable, much like the demise of large scale industry and influx of cheap economic migrants in teh rich economies.

    Everyone must deal, including the public sector.

    The public sector dudes I know are generally terrified of the commitment I have to put into my job to stay in work. The upside is more cash than they. The downside is grey hair, dread in the pit of the stomach every morning, eyes in the back of the head to see which bastard is trying to stab me in the back today and being on call literally 24/7 to make decisions on what are laughably called "crises".

    Public sector dudes across the road from me would crumble in the face of this. I have been at work for an hour before they even rise, and they are returned back home while I still have another 2 hrs of meeting battles to contend with. I don't say they are lazy or stupid, but I do say they have no clue.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    the harsh economic reality[...]

    It is inescapable, much like the demise of large scale industry and influx of cheap economic migrants in teh rich economies.

    Everyone must deal, including the public sector.


    The west (teh world?) is moving towards a model of governance that involves NO public services. It will all be down to the private sector. Schooling. Health. Policing. Is this good?

    I don't like the sound of it, and think govmnts need to reassess their priorities, or else...?
    Greece. Funny that modern democracy started there, and looks like going belly-up there first too.

    Everyone must deal. Yes. But are we all in it together? The rich, big businesses etc?
    There lies the discontent.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Seems that this thread is a snoozer at the moment (post-football/summer holidays?), but thought I'd add some more on the subject of cuts, and public sector strikes...

    Since govmnt cuts have affected my gf's work, she has become a Unison Rep, and occasionally* gives me her thoughts on these matters. She says that the govmnt are justifying the pensions cut by saying that there's a deficit in the public sector pensions pot. Apparently.... this is false. It's only been going for 60 years, and millions more people are paying into it than have taken out. There is a surplus. This surplus has already been dipped-into by the govmnt to help prop up the banks. This is were the anger comes from. There's more to it than this, but I'm ready to believe that (a) there is no pension deficit, and that (b) the govmnt are a bunch of lying c*nts who are doing all they can to ease the pain for the rich while quietly shitting on real people.

    Aside from that, who saw Djokovic vs Tsonga? Excellent match.
    Murray needs to work on his fitness, despite all of the tripe that the commentators trot out, he obviously isn't fit enough to compete with Nadal for more than one set.
    Djokovic worthy champ? Who would've preferred another Fed vs Nadal final?




















    * i.e. all the bloody time

  • Arsenal = Man City feeder club??

    I think Wenger could do worse than to try and get Flamini back from Milan..

  • badder_than_evil said:
    I think Wenger could do worse than to try and get Flamini back from Milan..
    That's a joke, right?

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts
    Even City wouldn't be interested in that one.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    This transfer season is just adding to the trauma of the club's performances on the pitch. I'm glad we're in the market for Gervinho, and I'm sure he'll be a useful addition to the squad, but he's not the sort of name that is going to make other clubs take notice that Arsenal mean business.

    If we put in a 35 mil bid on Aguerro or that winger Alexis Sanchez, I'd be happier, and Nasri might feel that was the kind of investment he wants to see from Arsenal...
    Rooney made the same noises during his contract stand-off, and I guess he's equally underwhelmed by the "big-name signing" of Ashley Young.
    I wouldn't be surprised if English clubs cannot offer enough money to the top players anymore. If I were a top player, I'd want to play my football in the sun. Spain or Italy. A cold night away @ Stoke or Blackburn?

    So far there are more names on the way out than on the way in.
    I'm getting a bit resigned to losing Cesc, even though I wouldn't want to sit on the bench for Barca, maybe Cesc does. Unlike Citeh with their want-away Tevez, the Arse can't or won't pay out the money for a like-for-like replacement.

    Bugger.

    edit: Something for SoulStrut's resident Chelsea fan.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts
    Wifey loves Wimbledon but I cannot muster any interest in the tennis. Cheering Murray? Get real. I didn't see any totty either.

    Jobwise, I think they are tolling the bell here now that Haitch Pee have the reins. Their business practice is to move the work out to the cheapest place. Manila at the moment. I wonder what opportunities await my kids? I thought we'd always have computers and therefore being able to make them do things was a good bet, but sheesh... Doctor, funeral director the only steady work? Muhfuggin' embargos need to happen!

  • el_sparkoel_sparko 884 Posts
    Arsenal linked with a ??12m move for Kevin Doyle, brilliant, we're on our way to the top.
    Good to see Clichy go though, he has been seriously toss for ages and it will be interesting to see what happens when he plays for Man City.

    Too much misery about jobs all around the university I work at so i'm packing it in and moving to London in August, I am excited.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    Self-indulgent mememe post;

    I finally have the internet at home for the first time since early April, and I'm looking forward to getting back into some serious shit-talking on here.

    I have a job. Three years living hand-to-mouth in London, then I move to Berlin and land a gig within three months. < seinfeld >What's that about < /seinfeld > Everyone else in the office is multi-lingual. I feel like a right thick twat, and I had a decent education.

    Still, I could be having a worse time, eh?


  • DocMcCoy said:
    I'm looking forward to getting back into some serious shit-talking on here.
    Depending on how conscientious I am in writing my dissertation over the next couple of months I too may end up adding more often to the pointless thoughts around here.

    And speaking of Rebekah Brooks (and making use of my extensive grasp of German) the front page of tomorrows Independent is a perfect case study in schadenfreude: http://web16.twitpic.com/img/338817647-84f90ab58ef9e8a8a355d24bb821b63f.4e136d40-scaled.jpg

  • three girls i know were just in las vegas last week and apparently bumped into a fair sized portion of the Arsenal squad. the one of them (let's call her 'jill'....) apparently got around to humpin on the one called Nasri.

    i believe this to be true because:
    a. she wouldn't know how to make up the story if she went to school for it
    b. still has no clue as to what an Arsenal is
    c. his name was 'sam nassirie' in her phone
    d. saw pics of the partying.
    e. she's a bit of an easy piece.


    when i didn't believe her, she showed me all the dirty texts. nasty nasri 4ever!

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts
    Nasty Nas/Skillmatic to City - good business for who? Not convinced he has the stamina. Good, but not like, Sneijder good.

    IMHO...

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    vintageinfants said:
    three girls i know were just in las vegas last week and apparently bumped into a fair sized portion of the Arsenal squad. the one of them (let's call her 'jill'....) apparently got around to humpin on the one called Nasri.

    i believe this to be true because:
    a. she wouldn't know how to make up the story if she went to school for it
    b. still has no clue as to what an Arsenal is
    c. his name was 'sam nassirie' in her phone
    d. saw pics of the partying.
    e. she's a bit of an easy piece.


    when i didn't believe her, she showed me all the dirty texts. nasty nasri 4ever!

    That's better than hearing she bumped into the Man U squad in Vegas and humped, sorry, 'met' Nasri.
    Ask her to text him and find out who he'll be playing for next season...

  • BeatnicholasBeatnicholas 1,005 Posts
    really hope ms brooks doesn't get away with this.. looks like she might tho. hmm.

    nick robinson this morning : News International executives believe that they have uncovered evidence of who at the News of the World commissioned and sanctioned the hacking of Milly Dowler's phone.

    The evidence is said to have emerged in a document trawl carried out in the immediate aftermath of the revelation by the Guardian of the hacking of the murdered girl's phone.

    I am told that the evidential jigsaw is not yet complete but executives believe they know who was responsible.


    steve bell so on point with the cartoon!


  • seems like someone programmed millibot to attack settings for today's prime ministers questions

    b/w

    cameron is a massive c*nt

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Will any of this stop Murdoch buying BSkyB?

    Some are calling this a Watergate moment, but surely the public are too apathetic now for any changes to happen.

  • Even if the public weren't apathetic, I don't think many at The Sun/The News of the World really give a shit what they think.

    However, it seems that many other broadcasters, newspapers and journalists are only too happy to stick the boot into News International in general, and Rebekah Brooks in particular. I get the sense that many see this as being a long time coming.

  • BeatnicholasBeatnicholas 1,005 Posts
    i'm not sure this is the tipping point for the murdoch empire.. in PMQs davey c*ntmeron refuted ed's flip-flopping over the "2 distinct issues" - one is media pluralism, the other is media ethics, and apparently we shouldn't mix them together..

    lets face it, none of you are going to give up your sky sports subscriptions because of this, no matter how much you hate murdoch. the conglomerate will ultimately prevail

    as for jeremy (c)hunt, well it falls on his shoulders to make the right decision, and he's damned if he does, damned if he don't - they'll be an outcry if it goes ahead, and if he breaks up the monopoly based on the criminal concerns, he'll be accused of being biased by media speculation. its fuckin vince cable's fault for running his mouf, that was the crucial error.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    http://www.newstatesman.com/newspapers/2011/04/phone-yeah-cameron-murdoch

    After a chance meeting with a former News of the World executive who told him his phone had been hacked, Hugh Grant couldn???t resist going back to him ??? with a hidden tape recorder ??? to find out if there was more to the story ...

    When I broke down in my midlife crisis car in remotest Kent just before Christmas, a battered white van pulled up on the far carriageway. To help, I thought. But when the driver got out he started taking pictures with a long-lens camera. He came closer to get better shots and I swore at him. Then he offered me a lift the last few miles to my destination. I suspected his motives and swore at him some more. (I'm not entirely sympathetic towards paparazzi.) Then I realised I couldn't get a taxi and was late. So I had to accept the lift.

    He turned out to be an ex-News of the World investigative journalist and paparazzo, now running a pub in Dover. He still kept his camera in the car's glove box for just this kind of happy accident.

    More than that, he was Paul McMullan, one of two ex-NoW hacks who had blown the whistle (in the Guardian and on Channel 4's Dispatches) on the full extent of phone-hacking at the paper, particularly under its former editor Andy Coulson. This was interesting, as I had been a victim - a fact he confirmed as we drove along. He also had an unusual defence of the practice: that phone-hacking was a price you had to pay for living in a free society. I asked how that worked exactly, but we ran out of time, and next thing we had arrived and he was asking me if I would pose for a photo with him, "not for publication, just for the wall of the pub".

    I agreed and the picture duly appeared in the Mail on Sunday that weekend with his creative version of the encounter. He had asked me to drop into his pub some time. So when, some months later, Jemima asked me to write a piece for this paper, it occurred to me it might be interesting to take him up on his invitation.

    I wanted to hear more about phone-hacking and the whole business of tabloid journalism. It occurred to me just to interview him straight, as he has, after all, been a whistleblower. But then I thought I might possibly get more, and it might be more fun, if I secretly taped him, The bugger bugged, as it were. Here are some excerpts from our conversation.

    Me So, how's the whistleblowing going?
    Him I'm trying to get a book published. I sent it off to a publisher who immediately accepted it and then it got legal and they said, "This is never going to get published."
    Me Why? Because it accuses too many people of crime?
    Him Yes, as I said to the parliamentary commission, Coulson knew all about it and regularly ordered it . . . He [Coulson] rose quickly to the top; he wanted to cover his tracks all the time. So he wouldn't just write a story about a celeb who'd done something. He'd want to make sure they could never sue, so he wanted us to hear the celeb like you on tape saying, "Hello, darling, we had lovely sex last night." So that's on tape - OK, we've got that and so we can publish . . . Historically, the way it went was, in the early days of mobiles, we all had analogue mobiles and that was an absolute joy. You know, you just . . . sat outside Buckingham Palace with a ??59 scanner you bought at Argos and get Prince Charles and everything he said.
    Me Is that how the Squidgy tapes [of Diana's phone conversations] came out? Which was put down to radio hams, but was in fact . . .
    Him Paps in the back of a van, yes . . . I mean, politicians were dropping like flies in the Nineties because it was so easy to get stuff on them. And, obviously, less easy to justify is celebrities. But yes.
    Me And . . . it wasn't just the News of the World. It was , you know - the Mail?
    Him Oh absolutely, yeah. When I went freelance in 2004 the biggest payers - you'd have thought it would be the NoW, but actually it was the Daily Mail. If I take a good picture, the first person I go to is - such as in your case - the Mail on Sunday. Did you see that story? The picture of you, breaking down . . . I ought to thank you for that. I got ??3,000. Whooo!
    Me But would they [the Mail] buy a phone-hacked story?
    Him For about four or five years they've absolutely been cleaner than clean. And before that they weren't. They were as dirty as anyone . . . They had the most money.
    Me So everyone knew? I mean, would Rebekah Wade have known all this stuff was going on?
    Him Good question. You're not taping, are you?
    Me [slightly shrill voice] No.
    Him Well, yeah. Clearly she . . . took over the job of [a journalist] who had a scanner who was trying to sell it to members of his own department. But it wasn't a big crime. [NB: Rebekah Brooks has always denied any knowledge of phone-hacking. The current police investigation is into events that took place after her editorship of the News of the World.]
    It started off as fun - you know, it wasn't against the law, so why wouldn't you? And it was only because the MPs who were fiddling their expenses and being generally corrupt kept getting caught so much they changed the law in 2001 to make it illegal to buy and sell a digital scanner. So all we were left with was - you know - finding a blag to get your mobile [records] out of someone at Vodafone. Or, when someone's got it, other people swap things for it.
    Me So they all knew? Wade probably knew all about it all?
    Him [...] Cameron must have known - that's the bigger scandal. He had to jump into bed with Murdoch as everyone had, starting with Thatcher in the Seventies . . . Tony Blair . . . [tape is hard to hear here] Maggie openly courted Murdoch, saying, you know, "Please support me." So when Cameron, when it came his turn to go to Murdoch via Rebekah Wade . . . Cameron went horse riding regularly with Rebekah. I know, because as well as doorstepping celebrities, I've also doorstepped my ex-boss by hiding in the bushes, waiting for her to come past with Cameron on a horse . . . before the election to show that - you know - Murdoch was backing Cameron.
    Me What happened to that story?
    Him The Guardian paid for me to do it and I stepped in it and missed them, basically. They'd gone past - not as good as having a picture.
    Me Do you think Murdoch knew about phone-hacking?
    Him Errr, possibly not. He's a funny bloke given that he owns the Sun and the Screws . . . quite puritanical. Sorry to talk about Divine Brown, but when that came out . . . Murdoch was furious: "What are you putting that on our front page for? You're bringing down the tone of our papers." [Indicating himself] That's what we do over here.
    Me Well, it's also because it was his film I was about to come out in.
    Him Oh. I see.
    Me Yeah. It was a Fox film.
    [A pause here while we chat to other customers, and then - ]
    Him So anyway, let me finish my story.
    Me Murdoch, yes . . .
    Him So I was sent to do a feature on Moulin Rouge! at Cannes, which was a great send anyway. Basically my brief was to see who Nicole Kidman was shagging - what she was doing, poking through her bins and get some stuff on her. So Murdoch's paying her five million quid to big up the French and at the same time paying me ??5.50 to fuck her up . . . So all hail the master. We're just pawns in his game. How perverse is that?
    Me Wow. You reckon he never knew about it?
    Him [pause] I don't even think he really worried himself too much about it.
    Me What's his son called?
    Him James. They're all mates together. They all go horse riding. You've got Jeremy Clarkson lives here [in Oxfordshire]. Cameron lives here, and Rebekah Wade is married to Brooks's son [the former racehorse trainer Charlie Brooks]. Cameron gets dressed up as the Stig to go to Clarkson's 50th birthday party [NB: it was actually to record a video message for the party]. Is that demeaning for a prime minister? It should be the other way round, shouldn't it? So basically, Cameron is very much in debt to Rebekah Wade for helping him not quite win the election . . . So that was my submission to parliament - that Cameron's either a liar or an idiot.
    Me But don't you think that all these prime ministers deliberately try to get the police to drag their feet about investigating the whole [phone-hacking] thing because they don't want to upset Murdoch?
    Him Yeah. There's that . . . You also work a lot with policemen as well . . . One of the early stories was [and here he names a much-loved TV actress in her sixties] used to be a street walker - whether or not she was, but that's the tip.
    Me and Chum MLTVA?!
    Me I can't believe it. Oh no!
    Chum Really??
    Him Yeah. Well, not now . . .
    Chum Oh, it'd be so much better if it was now.
    Him So I asked a copper to get his hands on the phone files, but because it's only a caution it's not there any more. So that's the tip . . . it's a policeman ringing up a tabloid reporter and asking him for ten grand because this girl had been cautioned right at the start of his career. And then I ask another policemen to go and check the records . . . So that's happening regularly. So the police don't particularly want to investigate.
    Me But do you think they're going to have to now?
    Him I mean - 20 per cent of the Met has taken backhanders from tabloid hacks. So why would they want to open up that can of worms? . . . And what's wrong with that, anyway? It doesn't hurt anyone particularly. I mean, it could hurt someone's career - but isn't that the dance with the devil you have to play?
    Me Well, I suppose the fact that they're dragging their feet while investigating a mass of phone-hacking - which is a crime - some people would think is a bit depressing about the police.
    Him But then - should it be a crime? I mean, scanning never used to be a crime. Why should it be? You're transmitting your thoughts and your voice over the airwaves. How can you not expect someone to just stick up an aerial and listen in?
    Me So if someone was on a landline and you had a way of tapping in . . .
    Him Much harder to do.
    Me But if you could, would you think that was illegal? Do you think that should be illegal?
    Him I'd have to say quite possibly, yeah. I'd say that should be illegal.
    Me But a mobile phone - a digital phone . . . you'd say it'd be all right to tap that?
    Him I'm not sure about that. So we went from a point where anyone could listen in to anything. Like you, me, journalists could listen in to corrupt politicians, and this is why we have a reasonably fair society and a not particularly corrupt or criminal prime minister, whereas other countries have Gaddafi. Do you think it's right the only person with a decent digital scanner these days is the government? Whereas 20 years ago we all had a go? Are you comfortable that the only people who can listen in to you now are - is it MI5 or MI6?
    Me I'd rather no one listened in, to be honest. And I might not be alone there. You probably wouldn't want people listening to your conversations.
    Him I'm not interesting enough for anyone to want to listen in.
    Me Ah . . . I think that was one of the questions asked last week at one of the parliamentary committees. They asked Yates [John Yates, acting deputy commissioner of the Metropolitan Police] if it was true that he thought that the NoW had been hacking the phones of friends and family of those girls who were murdered . . . the Soham murder and the Milly girl [Milly Dowler].
    Him Yeah. Yeah. It's more than likely. Yeah . . . It was quite routine. Yeah - friends and family is something that's not as easy to justify as the other things.
    Me But celebrities you would justify because they're rich?
    Him Yeah. I mean, if you don't like it, you've just got to get off the stage. It'll do wonders.
    Me So I should have given up acting?
    Him If you live off your image, you can't really complain about someone . . .
    Me I live off my acting. Which is different to living off your image.
    Him Yeah, but you're still presenting yourself to the public. And if the public didn't know you -
    Me They don't give a shit. I got arrested with a hooker and they still came to my films. They don't give a fuck about your public image. They just care about whether you're in an entertaining film or not.
    Him That's true . . . I have terrible difficulty with him [points to pap shot of Johnny Depp]. He's really difficult. You know, I was in Venice and he was a nightmare to do because he walks around looking like Michael Jackson. And the punchline was . . . after leading everyone a merry dance the film was shot on an open balcony - I mean, it was like - he was standing there in public.
    Me And you don't see the difference between the two situations?
    Chum He was actually working at this time? As opposed to having his own private time?
    Him You can't hide all the time.
    Me So you're saying, if you're Johnny Depp or me, you don't deserve to have a private life?
    Him You make so much more money. You know, most people in Dover take home about ??200 and struggle.
    Me So how much do you think the families of the Milly and Soham girls make?
    Him OK, so there are examples that are poor and you can't justify - and that's clearly one of them.
    Me I tell you the thing I still don't get - if you think it was all right to do all that stuff, why blow the whistle on it?
    Him Errm . . . Right. That's interesting. I actually blew the whistle when a friend of mine at the Guardian kept hassling me for an interview. I said, "Well if you put the name of the Castle [his pub] on the front page of the Guardian, I'll do anything you like." So that's how it started.
    Me So, have you been leant on by the NoW, News International, since you blew the whistle?
    Him No, they've kept their distance. I mean, there's people who have much better records - my records are non-existent. There are people who actually have tapes and transcripts they did for Andy Coulson.
    Me And where are these tapes and transcripts? Do you think they've been destroyed?
    Him No, I'm sure they're saving them till they retire.
    Me So did you personally ever listen to my voice messages?
    Him No, I didn't personally ever listen to your voice messages. I did quite a lot of stories on you, though. You were a very good earner at times.

    Those are the highlights. As I drove home past the white cliffs, I thought it was interesting - apart from the fact that Paul hates people like me, and I hate people like him, we got on quite well. And, absurdly, I felt a bit guilty for recording him.

    And he does have a very nice pub. The Castle Inn, Dover, for the record. There are rooms available, too. He asked me if I'd like to sample the honeymoon suite some time: "I can guarantee your privacy."
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