The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
edited May 2011 in Strut Central
From another forum:

The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

The specifics:

- You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.

- You are not allowed to touch a wall.

- When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."

- I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy.

- The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.

- There is no protective padding for any combatant.

* The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.


I think that if I grabbed one and used him/her as a weapon, I could windmill my way through quite a lot of the little blighters easy. The number is just a question of fitness, and how many I could KO before fatigue sets in.


30? 50 if they are dressed up in Man U kits?
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  Comments


  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    for real. i could take 100.
    i think their big advantage would be the force of sheer numbers...a crowd could swell around you and force you down by its weight. you cant let them near your feet...if they grab on, youre done. but once you start piling bodies up, id have to think they would be at a disadvantage and lose the ability to swarm as a mob

  • Options
    Duderonomy said:
    From another forum:


    The question: How many 5 year-olds could you take on at once?

    The specifics:

    - You are in an enclosed area, roughly the size of a basketball court. There are no foreign objects.

    - You are not allowed to touch a wall.

    - When you are knocked unconscious, you lose. When they are all knocked unconscious, they lose. Once a kid is knocked unconscious, that kid is "out."

    - I (or someone else intent on seeing to it you fail) get to choose the kids from a pool that is twice the size of your magic number. The pool will be 50/50 in terms of gender and will have no discernable abnormalities in terms of demographics, other than they are all healthy.

    - The kids receive one day of training from hand-to-hand combat experts who will train them specifically to team up to take down one adult. You will receive one hour of "counter-tactics" training.

    - There is no protective padding for any combatant.

    * The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.


    I think that if I grabbed one and used him/her as a weapon, I could windmill my way through quite a lot of the little blighters easy. The number is just a question of fitness, and how many I could KO before fatigue sets in.


    30? 50 if they are dressed up in Man U kits?


    While your grabbing that one to use as a weapon, another is smashing you in the nuts and another is gouging you in the eyes. I think 10 would be tough. Try it, you have a school nearby?

  • Options
    tripledouble said:
    for real. i could take 100.
    i think their big advantage would be the force of sheer numbers...a crowd could swell around you and force you down by its weight. you cant let them near your feet...if they grab on, youre done. but once you start piling bodies up, id have to think they would be at a disadvantage and lose the ability to swarm as a mob

    You can't take 100 5 year olds. You've seen these little bastards these days? I lifted a 5 year old from the hood up into the firetruck last year, I swear they must've only fed him raw meat and potatoes. Kid weighed a solid 70. If he's in your sampling, it's over. Total gamer.

  • 3 easily, then grab a snack.

  • The_Hook_UpThe_Hook_Up 8,182 Posts
    as someone who is 6'5" 280-ish and has to physically restrain little kids with behavorial problems, those of you who are saying more than 3 or 4 of the little bastards are kidding yourselves...just sayin'...you are not taking into account biting, testicle shots, hair pulling...

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    If I were allowed to wear my shitkicking boots, I could probably take a half dozen. At 5 years old, they're just the right height for a good face-kicking.

  • ReynaldoReynaldo 6,054 Posts
    Is killing and cannibalism allowed?

  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    hook and sween,
    the toughest part would be to keep some separation with head kicks and roundhouse temple shots. but if they grab you, you fly elbows down on their head. youre right, the mob would make extended kicks difficult, but just by force of forearms and knees...especially knees, you could fuck up the initial wave and create some carcasses that would be an obstacle to the rest of them, at which point you can extend a little

    would definitely be some work

    oh yeah, sween, i remember a massive little 7 year old who a teacher asked me to bring to the office and i wasnt able to even push down the hallway when he grounded his weight

  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    rey, there is no time for cannibalism. you going to convince a dozen of them to give you table service too?

  • tokyobeatstokyobeats 505 Posts
    total LOL at anyone claiming 30...50...especially 100!!

    get REAL!

    I'd say 10 tops........I'm not a big dude, but reach, height and fitness taken into account that's a good effort with the little fuckers these days!

  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    tokyobeats said:
    total LOL at anyone claiming 30...50...especially 100!!

    get REAL!

    I'd say 10 tops........I'm not a big dude, but reach, height and fitness taken into account that's a good effort with the little fuckers these days!

    i dont know about 100...but i could definitely take out a classroom of kindergarteners. so im basing my numbers on that

  • ReynaldoReynaldo 6,054 Posts
    tripledouble said:
    rey, there is no time for cannibalism. you going to convince a dozen of them to give you table service too?
    It's psychological warfare. Scare 'em enough to accept their fate and line up to be knocked out. If they'll do that you promise not to kill and eat them.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    I don't see any mention of weapons being banned but I'm assuming that this is the case? Non lethal obviously.

    The fact you have to be knocked out to lose gives me a bit more confidence as I have a fairly solid chin and could no doubt take a few pint sized hard shots while reeling in agony from the constant punches to the nuts but I still don't think I can go higher than ten as all it takes is for one of the little buggers to headbutt me and I could be down for the count.


    Slightly off topic, a fair few years ago a friend and I were out having a few after work drinks when he somehow managed to antagonise the largest of a group of about 15 kids probably ranging in age between 11 and 13. One thing led to another and, in trying to protectively swat away the child giant intent on trying to punch him, my friend accidentally caught the kid with the back of his hand leaving a definite mark.
    I thought the wisest thing to do at that point was for us to make a quick exit so we started walking off and headed down a nearby walkway to escape. Halfway down and now laughing at the situation we suddenly heard the sound of thunder and looked behind us to see all fifteen kids charging after us with a look of murder in their eyes.

    We wisely ran away.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Reynaldo said:
    tripledouble said:
    rey, there is no time for cannibalism. you going to convince a dozen of them to give you table service too?
    It's psychological warfare. Scare 'em enough to accept their fate and line up to be knocked out. If they'll do that you promise not to kill and eat them.


    * The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

    Not sure how you go about motivating 5 yr olds to be unafraid of death, but I suspect it would take more than a pep-talk from Steven Seagal.

  • ReynaldoReynaldo 6,054 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    Reynaldo said:
    tripledouble said:
    rey, there is no time for cannibalism. you going to convince a dozen of them to give you table service too?
    It's psychological warfare. Scare 'em enough to accept their fate and line up to be knocked out. If they'll do that you promise not to kill and eat them.


    * The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

    Not sure how you go about motivating 5 yr olds to be unafraid of death, but I suspect it would take more than a pep-talk from Steven Seagal.
    So I can kill and eat or are they just talking about bloody noses? There's motivated and then there's insane.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    There's a website that'll help you work it out - http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/

    ..and also one for Reys more niche tastes - http://www.recipestar.com/quizzes/view/cannibal-taste

  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    look...its all about knees. elbows too. those in the front, knees to the face. if possible you pull their faces into the impact. elbows to the kids approaching at your back. it would be kindof like a richard simmons workout.

  • tripledoubletripledouble 7,636 Posts
    Okem said:
    There's a website that'll help you work it out - http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/

    ..and also one for Reys more niche tastes - http://www.recipestar.com/quizzes/view/cannibal-taste

    it said i could take 30. i think at that point, if youre in shape and not likely to get winded, you can go for more

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Reynaldo said:
    Duderonomy said:
    Reynaldo said:
    tripledouble said:
    rey, there is no time for cannibalism. you going to convince a dozen of them to give you table service too?
    It's psychological warfare. Scare 'em enough to accept their fate and line up to be knocked out. If they'll do that you promise not to kill and eat them.


    * The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

    Not sure how you go about motivating 5 yr olds to be unafraid of death, but I suspect it would take more than a pep-talk from Steven Seagal.
    So I can kill and eat or are they just talking about bloody noses? There's motivated and then there's insane.

    And then there's cannibalism. If you're expecting us to believe that you're going to start chowing down on unseasoned 5-yr old, then why is it hard to imagine that these are some kill-or-be-killed 5 yr olds? Ever been to North Korea?

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    According to that site, I could take out 28. Looks like my animalistic rage in fighting situations bumped my score up.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    Reynaldo said:
    Duderonomy said:
    Reynaldo said:
    tripledouble said:
    rey, there is no time for cannibalism. you going to convince a dozen of them to give you table service too?
    It's psychological warfare. Scare 'em enough to accept their fate and line up to be knocked out. If they'll do that you promise not to kill and eat them.


    * The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

    Not sure how you go about motivating 5 yr olds to be unafraid of death, but I suspect it would take more than a pep-talk from Steven Seagal.
    So I can kill and eat or are they just talking about bloody noses? There's motivated and then there's insane.

    And then there's cannibalism. If you're expecting us to believe that you're going to start chowing down on unseasoned 5-yr old, then why is it hard to imagine that these are some kill-or-be-killed 5 yr olds? Ever been to North Korea?
    I'm thinking

    although there's those kids in Afghanistan who will happily take a swing at a passing, heavily armed, soldier twice his size. So maybe a few of those as well.

  • FrankFrank 2,372 Posts
    Too many variables.

    If you'd grab the first one, rip the throat out with your teeth, grab the dying brat at the feet and start hammering onto the rest of them, you could probably scare some 100-150 into running away but if the little ones were told to attack all at once, climb on top of each other and go for your balls and eyes, 50 of them could take you apart within minutes.

  • ReynaldoReynaldo 6,054 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    Reynaldo said:
    Duderonomy said:
    Reynaldo said:
    tripledouble said:
    rey, there is no time for cannibalism. you going to convince a dozen of them to give you table service too?
    It's psychological warfare. Scare 'em enough to accept their fate and line up to be knocked out. If they'll do that you promise not to kill and eat them.


    * The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

    Not sure how you go about motivating 5 yr olds to be unafraid of death, but I suspect it would take more than a pep-talk from Steven Seagal.
    So I can kill and eat or are they just talking about bloody noses? There's motivated and then there's insane.

    And then there's cannibalism. If you're expecting us to believe that you're going to start chowing down on unseasoned 5-yr old, then why is it hard to imagine that these are some kill-or-be-killed 5 yr olds? Ever been to North Korea?
    If I thought the kids were murderous cannibals, I'd be more motivated to accept any kind of plea deal they might offer--just as a group of kids only motivated up to the level of "knockout" (but don't kill and eat) would be. I'm just trying to better establish the parameters of the fight.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    I got 30. I tried again using all of the most hard-core looking selections (giant kung-fu body-builder) and it was only 38. Maybe to be really good you need experience of being trampled?

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Apparently I can take on 30 as well. I think the only thing that let me down was my relative lack of previous experience fighting swarms but I'm sure that this is something that can be easily fixed.

    Excellent, I feel much better prepared for the apocalypse now.

  • Mr_Lee_PHDMr_Lee_PHD 2,042 Posts
    A 5 year old is a 5 year old.. regardless of a day's combat training.

    You hit a 5 year old, said 5 year old cries.

    Another 5 year old sees you hit said 5 year old... gets too scurred to attack.

    As long as the initial attack is wild enough, the crowd will back the hell down... cause they're 5.

    Its part of their nature as 5 years olds.

    B/w

    This thread is weird.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts


  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,946 Posts
    34.

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    I think my average body size held me back.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    I've been chased by a swarm of wasps after I jumped on a nest hidden inside a hale bale. Fokkers all emerged and gathered in a cloud above my head, and like a cartoon, all made like an arrow and swarmed me. I was wearing an E.T. style parker that I zipped up over my head, but in my haste I'd zipped a load of them inside the hood, stinging the crap out of my scalp and face. I ripped my jacket off, and swung it about over my head, threw the jacket in one direction and ran in the other. Luckily for me, the majority of the swarm went for my air-borne jacket. The adrenalin was pumping so hard at this point that I ran at full sprint for 5 mins, and didn't feel any pain for another 15. Then I started to look all lumpy. And it hurt like hell.


    Still think I could take out more than 30. Tripledouble's knee-to-the-face and elbows combination, plus windmilling one like Conan.
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