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advice thread

BrianBrian 7,618 Posts
edited July 2010 in Strut Central
tell me your problems and i'll tell you how to fix them

  Comments

  • willie_fugalwillie_fugal 1,862 Posts
    i have 99 of them.

    but i'm not even asking you to tell me how to fix them all. i only care about 1 of them: namely that some dude is masquerading on the internetss claiming to have 200 problems, even though he clearly doesn't.

    gtfohwtbs.
  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Should I get "involved" w/ a Co-worker?
  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    I had to stop wearing mascara in order to start liking rap music and now I'm a hoity-toity internet thug.
  • nzshadownzshadow 5,526 Posts
    HarveyCanal said:
    I had to stop wearing mascara in order to start liking rap music and now I'm a hoity-toity internet thug.


    raaaoooouw fssst
  • AlmondAlmond 1,427 Posts
    nzshadow said:
    HarveyCanal said:
    I had to stop wearing mascara in order to start liking rap music and now I'm a hoity-toity internet thug.


    raaaoooouw fssst

    I love wearing mascara. Try Lash Blast. It makes music sound so good. Mascara can only improve one's life.
  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    i'm an unemployed chef living in santa monica and the only apartment i could afford to live in is shared with 2 women. my landlord is very conservative so i have to pretend that i'm gay, but i think he is onto me because i like the ladies a lot and sometimes he overhears me in the kitchen laughing with women as if there is casual copulation occuring, but i really am only basting a turkey and telling jokes.

    how do i go on like this?
  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,475 Posts
    edith head said:
    i'm an unemployed chef living in santa monica and the only apartment i could afford to live in is shared with 2 women. my landlord is very conservative so i have to pretend that i'm gay, but i think he is onto me because i like the ladies a lot and sometimes he overhears me in the kitchen laughing with women as if there is casual copulation occuring, but i really am only basting a turkey and telling jokes.

    how do i go on like this?

    I have three words for you: Pratfalls, pratfalls, pratfalls. The rest will work itself out.
  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,909 Posts
    edith head said:
    i'm an unemployed chef living in santa monica and the only apartment i could afford to live in is shared with 2 women. my landlord is very conservative so i have to pretend that i'm gay, but i think he is onto me because i like the ladies a lot and sometimes he overhears me in the kitchen laughing with women as if there is casual copulation occuring, but i really am only basting a turkey and telling jokes.

    how do i go on like this?


  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    I'm one of 7 crew members on a commercial spaceship and after docking at a planet that was covered in oversized eggs, one of our crew members was attacked by a weird insect that appeared to have rubberized legs and a proboscis. After prying the foreign object off of his face, he recovered fully and joined us for dinner and fun times. We were all laughing and then all of a sudden this thing that looked like man-junk with piranha teeth exploded out of his stomach and he died! The worst part is - this thing scuttled off into the darkness. We believe it is still on our spaceship ready to kill. How do we find it and kill it?
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,028 Posts
    edith head said:
    I'm one of 7 crew members on a commercial spaceship and after docking at a planet that was covered in oversized eggs, one of our crew members was attacked by a weird insect that appeared to have rubberized legs and a proboscis. After prying the foreign object off of his face, he recovered fully and joined us for dinner and fun times. We were all laughing and then all of a sudden this thing that looked like man-junk with piranha teeth exploded out of his stomach and he died! The worst part is - this thing scuttled off into the darkness. We believe it is still on our spaceship ready to kill. How do we find it and kill it?

    Apparently, you need to strip down to your undies at some point.
  • GaryGary 3,982 Posts
    10 stars, Edith.
  • HorseleechHorseleech 3,830 Posts
    edith head said:
    I'm one of 7 crew members on a commercial spaceship and after docking at a planet that was covered in oversized eggs, one of our crew members was attacked by a weird insect that appeared to have rubberized legs and a proboscis. After prying the foreign object off of his face, he recovered fully and joined us for dinner and fun times. We were all laughing and then all of a sudden this thing that looked like man-junk with piranha teeth exploded out of his stomach and he died! The worst part is - this thing scuttled off into the darkness. We believe it is still on our spaceship ready to kill. How do we find it and kill it?

    Ignore it and it will start calling and texting you.

    Then invite it out with some of your friends and make a wallet out of it when it shows up.
  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts


    i don't know where to begin...
  • vintageinfantsvintageinfants 4,538 Posts
    edith head said:


    i don't know where to begin...

    this thread is yours to keep.

  • smoking_robotsmoking_robot 346 Posts
    edit head just slayed this thread. A+++ would do business with again rel

    any post after these is like having your verse follow busta rhymes on a leaders of the new school track.
  • sticky_dojahsticky_dojah New York City. 2,138 Posts
    Some of my white friends use the n-word to adress each other. What to do? ........................
  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
    This thread is hilarious. Both the scenarios and the suggested solutions.

    Kudos to all.
  • KineticKinetic 3,739 Posts
    This is the first time that the new soul strut is looking like the old soul strut
  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    I'm a pre-teen brat who has trouble seeing because my proto-emo bangs always fall on my eyes to hide secret tears/misery and there is too much smog here. I like to rebel against the world because my biological mom is in a mental hospital after trying to bomb computers. One day I was hanging out and this lanky cop was after me and I saw him melt into a puddle and then rise again like I was on drugs. Once I started realizing I wasn't on drugs, I started running as fast I could and then Guns n' Roses music started playing out of nowhere and this motorcycle meathead in a leather jacket pulled out a shotgun and started lighting him up! Instead of dying, this cop just had giant silver craters in his torso and made this face like he was super annoyed. The motorcycle meathead just said "Come with me if you want to llive" and I did, but after spending a lot of time with him, I'm getting really annoyed with his habits as he is always pumping iron and talking about Ronald Reagan. WTF? Should I run away from home?
  • vintageinfantsvintageinfants 4,538 Posts
    the runway model that is looking to rent out out one of my apartments confessed that while she is flush with money now, she may encounter periods where work is short and cash flow is lower. she then mentioned that she knew of other ways of making payments (followed by the internationally recognized pantomime for simulating sex orally).

    how long would you suggest that i lock her in at this rate?
  • nzshadownzshadow 5,526 Posts
    vintageinfants said:
    the runway model that is looking to rent out out one of my apartments confessed that while she is flush with money now, she may encounter periods where work is short and cash flow is lower. she then mentioned that she knew of other ways of making payments (followed by the internationally recognized pantomime for simulating sex orally).

    how long would you suggest that i lock her in at this rate?

    Unfamiliar with the 'internationally recognised pantomime for simulating oral sex' plaese to record video of yourself performing the pantomime, then upload yo youtube and embed here for actionable advice.
  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,909 Posts
    Raj should really just give Edith the blog section of the strut to do with as she pleases...
  • nzshadownzshadow 5,526 Posts
    DOR said:
    Raj should really just give Edith the blog section of the strut to do with as she pleases...

    seconded
  • markus71markus71 937 Posts
    When I get frustrated or angry, I tend to curse a lot. Especially with 2 kids this is a bad look so I try not to do this anymore but it's really difficult. PLease advice what to do.
  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    markus71 said:
    When I get frustrated or angry, I tend to curse a lot. Especially with 2 kids this is a bad look so I try not to do this anymore but it's really difficult. PLease advice what to do.

    Swear Jar
  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    markus71 said:
    When I get frustrated or angry, I tend to curse a lot. Especially with 2 kids this is a bad look so I try not to do this anymore but it's really difficult. PLease advice what to do.

    Cut your tongue out

    or

    Leave your family
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