Martin Samuel is destroying shit in his latest Daily Mail column
LOL at this section.
And now part one of a very, very occasional series entitled Things The England Team Could Learn From Mildly Obscure Hip-Hop Tracks of The Early Nineties. This week: Buggin' Out by A Tribe Called Quest from the album The Low End Theory (a clip of which can be found below): 'I never walk the streets, thinking it's all about me 'Even though, deep in my heart, it really could be.'
This all begs the question will Defoe be Phife to Rooney's Q-Tip
I expected Argentina to be a shambles at this tournament. There seemed to be constant questions about Maradona's behaviour and his abilities as a coach, not to mention his bizarre decision to leave Javier Zanetti and Esteban Cambiasso at home, yet there probably hasn't been another team at this World Cup that's so obviously enjoying their football.
England could learn so much from Argentina. It seemed crazy to drop Zanetti & Cambiasso, but the team has done well without them. If only we'd appoint a manager with the balls or sense to drop Gerrard & Lampard.
After all the bluster from commentators that Gerrard was back to his all-action self vs USA, against the Algerians he became a lazy fucker again. Tired of watching him make little attempt to close down opposition defenders, and then watch them stroll past him with the sodding ball into the middle of the park. 'Tracking back' must be beneath him.
Lampard has been completely annonymous. I didn't even realise he was playing against Algeria until midway through the second half. Totally out of his depth in midfield. Poor first touch, no urgency, no pace, unable to travel with the ball and committ defenders, but he can pass it sideways to Barry and he plays for Chelsea, so that's alright then.
Heskey. Willing, but limited, and obviously not on Rooney's wave-length.
At the next world cup they'll all be gone. Surely we'll play better football as a result.
I don't know why I'm feeling so negative about England's chances, but they just don't seem to deserve to get anything from this tournament. It feels wrong that they're even in with a chance of qualifying for the next round. France, England, Greece have been the worst teams to watch.
Oh, and Frank Sidebottom R.I.P.
He was a don.
DocMcCoy"Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,913 Posts
Paul said:
Martin Samuel is destroying shit in his latest Daily Mail column
LOL at this section.
And now part one of a very, very occasional series entitled Things The England Team Could Learn From Mildly Obscure Hip-Hop Tracks of The Early Nineties. This week: Buggin' Out by A Tribe Called Quest from the album The Low End Theory (a clip of which can be found below): 'I never walk the streets, thinking it's all about me 'Even though, deep in my heart, it really could be.'
This all begs the question will Defoe be Phife to Rooney's Q-Tip
Hahaha! Who knew? Next he'll be asking Capello who had the best verse on "No More Worries"...
DocMcCoy"Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,913 Posts
Duderonomy said:
I don't know why I'm feeling so negative about England's chances, but they just don't seem to deserve to get anything from this tournament. It feels wrong that they're even in with a chance of qualifying for the next round. France, England, Greece have been the worst teams to watch.
True indeed. Moreover, it's not the formation that makes you pass into touch and bounce corners off the first defender's head.
What really pisses England fans off is the fact that when playing international football, all the other countries' players go up 5 notches in ability and ours come down 5.
I'm happy for Rooney to speak his (stupid) brains at the full-time boos - at least he said what he feels, rather than the opinion free crap that they usually respond with. Agreed, the content of his message was bollocks, but still. At least we know now why he is playing so shit - he fully believes the 'best player in the world' hype that's been fed to him.
What disgusts me is the apology issued the next day, purportedly from Rooney but so obviously formulated by some wanky FA PR/lawyer type. For fuck's sake Rooney, stand by your words you cunt.
Were I standing in the shoes of the Lampards and Gerrards, I'd definitely be thinking revolt today. They may never get to play at WC again. I predict 2-0 to the England.
NEEDING US TO BAIL THEM OUT OF THEYRE WARS OR WHATEVER.
.
Oh SNAP - now I get it.
England went 1-0 up against USA so early in the match that started at 19:30 GMT because as per usual, the yanks didin't show up til 19:42.
But seriously, USA kit is the worst of the tournament. Looks like they're dressed as camp Thunderbirds and are off to a ghey fancy dress party.
In stark contrast, Ghana goaltender's chocolate brown kit was as hard as fuck. And he hit the best 'ball from hands' that I've ever seen. 70 yards to his own winger and the ball never once bounced nor went over 6 feet in height. RADICAL.
Day off! So neccessary. Just spent 2 hours trading bootsale chud with nice old record shop man, then a round of corned beef and HP sauce w/ shandy bass. Got the didgeridoo on standby (AYYYYOOOOO) as I will not fuck w/ no vuvuzela, cheap plastic shit. And the missus taken the kiddies to her mates. All day.
Defining WC images:
78: Buenos Aires ticker tape receptions
82: Marco Tardelli goal celebration
86: Maradona goal set against that 'spider' shadow on the pitch
90: Gazza tears, Nessun Dorma shot against huge moon
94: n/a
98-06: damn, can't remember a thing about these.
10: vuvu drone orchestra
Defining WC images:
78: Buenos Aires ticker tape receptions
82: Zico, Archie Gemmil, FALCAO goal celebration; Harald Schumacher / Frenchie's nose/jaw interface.
86: Maradona goal set against that 'spider' shadow on the pitch, the Mexican wave.
90: Gazza tears, Nessun Dorma shot against huge moon
94: Bobby Baggio peno miss giving Brasil the trophy. At least our misses have less gravitas.
98: Ronaldo (the fat one) choaking vs. Frenchies.
02: Shay Given walking to the goal at the start of every match pretending he was drunk.
06: Zidane's "Glasgow kiss".
10: vuvu drone orchestra - making Ibizan bars hosting the footy easy to locate.
74: Paul Breitner's afro, the Cruyff turn
78: Buenos Aires ticker tape receptions
82: Zico, Archie Gemmil, FALCAO goal celebration; Harald Schumacher / Frenchie's nose/jaw interface.
86: Maradona goal set against that 'spider' shadow on the pitch, the Mexican wave.
90: Gazza tears, Nessun Dorma shot against huge moon
94: Bobby Baggio peno miss giving Brasil the trophy. At least our misses have less gravitas.
98: Ronaldo (the fat one) choaking vs. Frenchies.
02: Shay Given walking to the goal at the start of every match pretending he was drunk.
06: Zidane's "Glasgow kiss".
10: vuvu drone orchestra - making Ibizan bars hosting the footy easy to locate.
MY COFFEE FOR THE ROAD IS ALMOST BREWED. I WILL DON MY SNEAKERS SOON AND HEAD TO THE HOMIEY'S HOUSE, FOR HE HAS A MONSTER TEEVEE AND MY RABBIT EARS DON'T GET CABLE.
WE'LL LOOK TO DO PICTURE IN PICTURE IF USA GETS UP A GOL, BUT IF WE'RE CLOSE YOU GUYS ARE ON YOUR OWN. I'LL TELL YOUR DUDES THE SAME THING I'M TELLING MINE: THESE OTHER TEAMS ARE WEAK. JUST LIKE THEIR GARBAGE COUNTRIES. WE ARE EVERLASTING WORLD POWERS AND NOW IS TIME FOR RUTHLESS DOMINATION.
IT WAS A FUN GROUP WITH YOU LOT INNIT ETC BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO BE OUT. MAYBE WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN DOWN THE ROAD...NOW IT'S TIME FOR THIS EAGLE TO SPREAD WINGS AND FLYYYYY Y Y YYYY Y Y YYYYYYYY
MAY YOUR CROUCHBOT'S JOINTS STAY ERLED, ROONEYMAN'S GERBERHEAD STAY CHILL, AND BECKHAM'S FAIRYDUST SPARKLE UPON YE
NEEDING US TO BAIL THEM OUT OF THEYRE WARS OR WHATEVER.
.
Oh SNAP - now I get it.
England went 1-0 up against USA so early in the match that started at 19:30 GMT because as per usual, the yanks didin't show up til 19:42.
But seriously, USA kit is the worst of the tournament. Looks like they're dressed as camp Thunderbirds and are off to a ghey fancy dress party.
In stark contrast, Ghana goaltender's chocolate brown kit was as hard as fuck. And he hit the best 'ball from hands' that I've ever seen. 70 yards to his own winger and the ball never once bounced nor went over 6 feet in height. RADICAL.
lol word
OUR LITTLE JONBENETS BOUT TO GET "MOST GOOD AT SOCCER" WRITTEN ON THEIR SASHES BRO USA USA USA!!!!
Comments
LOL at this section.
This all begs the question will Defoe be Phife to Rooney's Q-Tip
England could learn so much from Argentina. It seemed crazy to drop Zanetti & Cambiasso, but the team has done well without them. If only we'd appoint a manager with the balls or sense to drop Gerrard & Lampard.
After all the bluster from commentators that Gerrard was back to his all-action self vs USA, against the Algerians he became a lazy fucker again. Tired of watching him make little attempt to close down opposition defenders, and then watch them stroll past him with the sodding ball into the middle of the park. 'Tracking back' must be beneath him.
Lampard has been completely annonymous. I didn't even realise he was playing against Algeria until midway through the second half. Totally out of his depth in midfield. Poor first touch, no urgency, no pace, unable to travel with the ball and committ defenders, but he can pass it sideways to Barry and he plays for Chelsea, so that's alright then.
Heskey. Willing, but limited, and obviously not on Rooney's wave-length.
At the next world cup they'll all be gone. Surely we'll play better football as a result.
Oh, and Frank Sidebottom R.I.P.
He was a don.
Hahaha! Who knew? Next he'll be asking Capello who had the best verse on "No More Worries"...
True indeed. Moreover, it's not the formation that makes you pass into touch and bounce corners off the first defender's head.
You know he was, he really was.
I'm happy for Rooney to speak his (stupid) brains at the full-time boos - at least he said what he feels, rather than the opinion free crap that they usually respond with. Agreed, the content of his message was bollocks, but still. At least we know now why he is playing so shit - he fully believes the 'best player in the world' hype that's been fed to him.
What disgusts me is the apology issued the next day, purportedly from Rooney but so obviously formulated by some wanky FA PR/lawyer type. For fuck's sake Rooney, stand by your words you cunt.
Were I standing in the shoes of the Lampards and Gerrards, I'd definitely be thinking revolt today. They may never get to play at WC again. I predict 2-0 to the England.
They could always learn to play the trumpet.
Oh SNAP - now I get it.
England went 1-0 up against USA so early in the match that started at 19:30 GMT because as per usual, the yanks didin't show up til 19:42.
But seriously, USA kit is the worst of the tournament. Looks like they're dressed as camp Thunderbirds and are off to a ghey fancy dress party.
In stark contrast, Ghana goaltender's chocolate brown kit was as hard as fuck. And he hit the best 'ball from hands' that I've ever seen. 70 yards to his own winger and the ball never once bounced nor went over 6 feet in height. RADICAL.
ROFLCOPTER
Day off! So neccessary. Just spent 2 hours trading bootsale chud with nice old record shop man, then a round of corned beef and HP sauce w/ shandy bass. Got the didgeridoo on standby (AYYYYOOOOO) as I will not fuck w/ no vuvuzela, cheap plastic shit. And the missus taken the kiddies to her mates. All day.
Defining WC images:
78: Buenos Aires ticker tape receptions
82: Marco Tardelli goal celebration
86: Maradona goal set against that 'spider' shadow on the pitch
90: Gazza tears, Nessun Dorma shot against huge moon
94: n/a
98-06: damn, can't remember a thing about these.
10: vuvu drone orchestra
Outstanding.
Gerrin.
78: Buenos Aires ticker tape receptions
82: Zico, Archie Gemmil, FALCAO goal celebration; Harald Schumacher / Frenchie's nose/jaw interface.
86: Maradona goal set against that 'spider' shadow on the pitch, the Mexican wave.
90: Gazza tears, Nessun Dorma shot against huge moon
94: Bobby Baggio peno miss giving Brasil the trophy. At least our misses have less gravitas.
98: Ronaldo (the fat one) choaking vs. Frenchies.
02: Shay Given walking to the goal at the start of every match pretending he was drunk.
06: Zidane's "Glasgow kiss".
10: vuvu drone orchestra - making Ibizan bars hosting the footy easy to locate.
78: Buenos Aires ticker tape receptions
82: Zico, Archie Gemmil, FALCAO goal celebration; Harald Schumacher / Frenchie's nose/jaw interface.
86: Maradona goal set against that 'spider' shadow on the pitch, the Mexican wave.
90: Gazza tears, Nessun Dorma shot against huge moon
94: Bobby Baggio peno miss giving Brasil the trophy. At least our misses have less gravitas.
98: Ronaldo (the fat one) choaking vs. Frenchies.
02: Shay Given walking to the goal at the start of every match pretending he was drunk.
06: Zidane's "Glasgow kiss".
10: vuvu drone orchestra - making Ibizan bars hosting the footy easy to locate.
Not a single winger. No natural width. SMH.
GTFOOH
OK, let's get this on. We need Meriman to chip in w/ the commentary from the Algeria game.
AWRIGHT BRUVS THE HOUR IS NOW UPON US
MY COFFEE FOR THE ROAD IS ALMOST BREWED. I WILL DON MY SNEAKERS SOON AND HEAD TO THE HOMIEY'S HOUSE, FOR HE HAS A MONSTER TEEVEE AND MY RABBIT EARS DON'T GET CABLE.
WE'LL LOOK TO DO PICTURE IN PICTURE IF USA GETS UP A GOL, BUT IF WE'RE CLOSE YOU GUYS ARE ON YOUR OWN. I'LL TELL YOUR DUDES THE SAME THING I'M TELLING MINE: THESE OTHER TEAMS ARE WEAK. JUST LIKE THEIR GARBAGE COUNTRIES. WE ARE EVERLASTING WORLD POWERS AND NOW IS TIME FOR RUTHLESS DOMINATION.
IT WAS A FUN GROUP WITH YOU LOT INNIT ETC BUT NOW IT'S TIME TO BE OUT. MAYBE WE'LL SEE YOU AGAIN DOWN THE ROAD...NOW IT'S TIME FOR THIS EAGLE TO SPREAD WINGS AND FLYYYYY Y Y YYYY Y Y YYYYYYYY
MAY YOUR CROUCHBOT'S JOINTS STAY ERLED, ROONEYMAN'S GERBERHEAD STAY CHILL, AND BECKHAM'S FAIRYDUST SPARKLE UPON YE
USA USA USA !!!!!!!!1!!!!
lol word
OUR LITTLE JONBENETS BOUT TO GET "MOST GOOD AT SOCCER" WRITTEN ON THEIR SASHES BRO USA USA USA!!!!
Is this ref in our pocket?
16 minutes in and you whinging poms are already making excuses for the fact you cant play football.
haha.
I still haven't seen Lampard make a forward pass. Oh wait, there was that free-kick.
Capello giving off Costner circa JFK vibes.
Rooney 2 yards off the pace, but Lampard looking more ominous than usual.
Ah fuck it, Imma tuck into a Fry's (blue, natch) chocolate cream bar
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL