You're Your You're Your You're Your

24

  Comments


  • BreezBreez 1,706 Posts
    English is my wife's 2nd language and she still gets a little confused with certain things, simple things. Well, simple to us.

  • willie_fugalwillie_fugal 1,862 Posts
    what about 'Yorn' ?
    Example: This rekkid iz minez, datz yorn!!

    i guess there should be an apostrophe, since it's really two words: "that is your one" (you sound white)

    b/w

    i disregard apostrophe rules when posting to twitter in order to save characters.


  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    It's native English speakers that frustrate me- I can't imagine how confusing the rules are for non-native speakers.

    Yeah Anna,

    For instance, I have this concern with Masters students. Imagine that? My Indian students have better English proficiency than their U.S.-born classmates. Well, we are ranked around 25th in the world in basic reading, math, and science.

    World Rankings on Basic Reading, Math, and Science

    I love how my Staffing students' mouths drop open when I present that actual data on our poor world standing. The arrogance erodes from their faces.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • LokoOneLokoOne 1,823 Posts
    what about "YA"...

  • PunditPundit 438 Posts
    penultimate.. rarely if ever used correctly..

  • I'm not a native English speaker and I never use English in my daily life (well, apart from posting on a few messageboards) but it strikes me that a lot of people write "would of" instead of "would have". Or is this not a mistake? If it isn't I blame the lousy english teachers I've had.

  • I'm not a native English speaker and I never use English in my daily life (well, apart from posting on a few messageboards) but it strikes me that a lot of people write "would of" instead of "would have". Or is this not a mistake? If it isn't I blame the lousy english teachers I've had.

    yes, this one bugs me too.

    probably down to the fact that, when spoken, people usually say "would've" which sounds like "would of".

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts


    whoops.

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts


    Anyways, NZ is obviously a grammar Nazi


    Whoops, Godwin complete


  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts


    whoops.

    This might be a warning to miners.

    My own fave was printed in really small letters on the bottom of a number plate:

    "YOUR TOO CLOSE TWAT"

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    Though
    Bough
    Tough
    Through
    Cough

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts


    ?English Is Tough Stuff (A.K.A. ?The Chaos?)? by G. Nolst. (1929)

    Dearest creature in creation,
    Study English pronunciation.
    I will teach you in my verse
    Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
    I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
    Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
    Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
    So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

    Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
    Dies and diet, lord and word,
    Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
    (Mind the latter, how it?s written.)
    Now I surely will not plague you
    With such words as plaque and ague.
    But be careful how you speak:
    Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
    Cloven, oven, how and low,
    Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

    Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
    Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
    Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
    Exiles, similes, and reviles;
    Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
    Solar, mica, war and far;
    One, anemone, Balmoral,
    Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
    Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
    Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

    Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
    Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
    Blood and flood are not like food,
    Nor is mould like should and would.
    Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
    Toward, to forward, to reward.
    And your pronunciation?s OK
    When you correctly say croquet,
    Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
    Friend and fiend, alive and live.

    Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
    And enamour rhyme with hammer.
    River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
    Doll and roll and some and home.
    Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
    Neither does devour with clangour.
    Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
    Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
    Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
    And then singer, ginger, linger,
    Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
    Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

    Query does not rhyme with very,
    Nor does fury sound like bury.
    Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
    Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
    Though the differences seem little,
    We say actual but victual.
    Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
    Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
    Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
    Dull, bull, and George ate late.
    Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
    Science, conscience, scientific.

    Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
    Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
    We say hallowed, but allowed,
    People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
    Mark the differences, moreover,
    Between mover, cover, clover;
    Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
    Chalice, but police and lice;
    Camel, constable, unstable,
    Principle, disciple, label.

    Petal, panel, and canal,
    Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
    Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
    Senator, spectator, mayor.
    Tour, but our and succour, four.
    Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
    Sea, idea, Korea, area,
    Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
    Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
    Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

    Compare alien with Italian,
    Dandelion and battalion.
    Sally with ally, yea, ye,
    Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
    Say aver, but ever, fever,
    Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
    Heron, granary, canary.
    Crevice and device and aerie.

    Face, but preface, not efface.
    Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
    Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
    Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
    Ear, but earn and wear and tear
    Do not rhyme with here but ere.
    Seven is right, but so is even,
    Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
    Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
    Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

    Pronunciation ? think of Psyche!
    Is a paling stout and spikey?
    Won?t it make you lose your wits,
    Writing groats and saying grits?
    It?s a dark abyss or tunnel:
    Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
    Islington and Isle of Wight,
    Housewife, verdict and indict.

    Finally, which rhymes with enough ?
    Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
    Hiccough has the sound of cup.
    My advice is to give up!

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    Lovely stuff, that.

    Herewith, the ultimate grammar nazi jpeg. A bit coarse, but it gets the point across.



    Who can spot the punctuation errors (there was bound to be at least one) in the text?

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    my grammar and punctuation are terrible BTW, i use so many goddamn commas, i never know when to stop useing them. And i always start sentances (which i can't fucking spell) with the word 'and' (which you shouldnt do) and i use those brackets all the time, that makes my sentances too long and i invariably end up using another comma.

    and ill be fucked if can spell definatly correctly, my spell check always changes it to defiantly (which rules).

  • kicks79kicks79 1,338 Posts
    sentence fragments thats me too. Im the king of comma's also don't know when to stop and i constanly use and to start sentences ha ha.
    A few of my friends teach english in japan and they soon discovered how little they actually know about their native language when there forced to explain it to others.
    I blame my spelling on my borderline dyslexicia though.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    borderline dyslexicia

    I know this will cause a stink, but I have a sneaky suspicion that there aren't as many dyslexics out there as are diagnosed. When I hand students (submitting University work) a dyslexia form, and I skim through the things that markers are told to 'allow for', it does piss me off: all the stuff that I had to learn, and practice hard at, and would get marked down for*, gets ignored... I was poor at maths, but I wasn't diagnosed with some condition that meant I could skip algebra.




    I know, I know, I know that there are obviously plenty of genuine dyslexics, but for crying out loud, not everybody is going to be good at languages, whether foreign or their native tongue. Annoyed *English student rant over.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Spell check has greatly reduced my ability to spell or structure sentences correctly. It's like as soon as I discovered this function my brain dumped all the years of practice and accumulated knowledge I had picked up on the intricacies of the English language and filled the hole full of wikifacts instead.

  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts
    Affect and Effect are a pain in the ass.

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    Hey dudes. Shit's not hard. Seriously.

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts

    YOU SOUND WHITE.

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,903 Posts

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    Hey dudes. Shit's not hard. Seriously.

    It's not that easy either.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Holla At Ya Boy

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    Hey dudes. Shit's not hard. Seriously.

    It's not that easy either.

    In all seriousness, what do you have trouble with? Give me some examples and I'll try to give you an easy rule to remember the proper grammar.

  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    FUSK YOUR RULEZ.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    I've started threads on the same thing before - an ill-placed apostrophe or using the wrong "their/there" drives me nuts, sometimes more so than what is being said.

    I can't say why people who have been taught it throughout their whole schooling can't grasp the rules - I am sure there are many reasons why.
    But English is not that easy, it requires more memorizing of random rules than following logical language patterns. And when someone is trying to learn, it's difficult to not feel like it's her/his lack of intelligence (yes, one would think that kite/night/height/byte would follow the same spelling pattern), rather than the shortcomings of the language.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    Hey dudes. Shit's not hard. Seriously.

    It's not that easy either.

    In all seriousness, what do you have trouble with? Give me some examples and I'll try to give you an easy rule to remember the proper grammar.

    I'm not talking about me. But thanks, Prof - I'll remember the offer.

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    Hey dudes. Shit's not hard. Seriously.

    It's not that easy either.

    In all seriousness, what do you have trouble with? Give me some examples and I'll try to give you an easy rule to remember the proper grammar.

    I'm not talking about me. But thanks, Prof - I'll remember the offer.



    MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN[/b]


  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    semi-colons; one of the few things i cant grasp how to use properly. or if it ever needs to be used?

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    semi-colons; one of the few things i cant grasp how to use properly. or if it ever needs to be used?

    Generally avoid semi-colon usage. There is almost always a better way to structure your sentences. The primary exception is a list of phrases that use commas internally. In that case, precede the list with a colon and place semi-colons between list items. In most other cases, replace the semi-colon with a comma or period and tweak the resulting sentence(s) accordingly.
Sign In or Register to comment.