Tim Burton's Alice in Narnia (review)

SPlDEYSPlDEY Vegas 3,362 Posts
edited March 2010 in Strut Central
I felt like my imagination was being raped, by someone else's shittier imagination in 3D. 1/10Just in case your family drags you to this piece of shit. - spidey

  Comments


  • Lucious_FoxLucious_Fox 2,479 Posts
    u know someone on here is gonna rep this

  • i really liked it

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,028 Posts
    Yep, me.
    Apart from the electric boogaloo thing right at the end, which was both gratuitous and cringe-making, really enjoyed it.

    But then, not being interested in the overly analytical side of watching a film, I didn't go into the cinema (no theee-yay-durr) with all the angsty baggage that a lot of folks seem to carry.

    Johnny Depp been watching too many Harry Enfield and Paul Whitehouse shows doe.

  • JimsterJimster Twilight Zone/ Al Capone/ Rolling Stone/ Eva Perón 6,396 Posts
    There's a scene in "Pirates of the Caribbean" where they cut to Depp and he's coming with

    "...And then they made me their chief."

  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
    I was pretty disappointed with it. I really thought it could've been much, MUCH better.

    Helena Bonham Carter did an incredible job though.


  • BeatnicholasBeatnicholas 1,005 Posts
    an utter shit sandwich. i felt like i'd been robbed when it finished

    wtf was that integration of jabberwocky into the plot

    wtf was the plot about in fact.

    alice in scissorhands

    avoid.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,028 Posts
    Let's cut to the important stuff.

    What snack did you have?

  • BeatnicholasBeatnicholas 1,005 Posts
    popcorn. i was close to throwing it at the screen for most of the film

  • MjukisMjukis 1,675 Posts
    an utter shit sandwich. i felt like i'd been robbed when it finished

    wtf was that integration of jabberwocky into the plot

    wtf was the plot about in fact.

    alice in scissorhands

    avoid.

    I agree with all of the above. I had sour candy.

    The old Disney film - no plot but wonderfully bizarre

    Burtons version - a shitty fantasy-plot, tried hard to be "weird" but just made me sick.

    Also, the 3D effects where real lame compared to Avatar and the movie was just plain ugly. Shoulda called it Alice in Wonderland - Phantom Menace.

  • you guys are so angry!!!!! Don't worry the strut is back now!

  • BeatnicholasBeatnicholas 1,005 Posts
    "angry" has nothing to do with "extremely critical of shit films".

    this is how you film alice




  • Burtons version - tried hard to be "weird"


    The Tim Burton canon writ large...

  • edith headedith head 5,106 Posts
    my friend walked out of the car when johnny depp broke into dance for no reason.

  • SPlDEYSPlDEY Vegas 3,362 Posts
    Let's cut to the important stuff.

    What snack did you have?

    Maybe it's because I dropped all my fruit snacks on the ground. Or maybe it's cause Tim Burton has fallen way the F*ck off.

    - spidey

  • just like avatar, i'm going to this flic to simply enjoy the 3-d effects. the plot,acting, character development, fidelity to the original story etc is beyond being of secondary importance to me.

    also, to hear that burton didn't take many artistic risks or live up to edward scissor hands is hardly surprising or even damning. these mega-bucks type of projects are typically watered down for mass consumption and focus-grouped to death for fear of making heaven's gate ii and bankrupting an entire studio and turning everyone involved into a laughing stock.

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,832 Posts


    this is how you film alice



  • The_Hook_UpThe_Hook_Up 8,182 Posts
    My favorite part was when flo told
    that dude to kiss her grits

  • ReynaldoReynaldo 6,054 Posts
    I thought it was all right, save for the dancing. Alice was cute and of age, and they didn't butch her up at the very end--that's good enough for me.


  • white_teawhite_tea 3,262 Posts
    I liked Big Fish because it was a good father/son movie and I can't really think of too many of those. But having seen both his awful remake Planets of the Apes and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I never even considered going to see this.

    Just peaked at his IMDB page and looks like Burton directed a movie in 2000 called The World of Stainboy -- that about sums up his career since he put my favorite film of his, Ed Wood.

  • just like avatar, i'm going to this flic to simply enjoy the 3-d effects. the plot,acting, character development, fidelity to the original story etc is beyond being of secondary importance to me.

    ^^^Has room full of these posters.


    Seriously, that film just sounds like a terrible way to waste a few hours. It wasn't even filmed in 3D. You gonna start going to "Citizen Kane, 3D" when they remake that too?

  • Lucious_FoxLucious_Fox 2,479 Posts
    I wont front on Burton's contributions to Batman's Legacy, but since Nightmare on Christmas flick, I dont understand why folks continue to go ga-ga over this dude.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    This film seems far too tailor made for Burton's kooky weird shtick to ever be more than entirely predictable. I would imagine it to be highly similar to Charlie & The Chocolate Factory with lots of bright visuals, zany episodes and Depp doing "Wacky".

    I didn't actually mind Sweeney Todd though I did go into watching it thinking it was going to be abominable but I'd have to agree that everything since Ed Wood has either been a rehash of previous projects or plain awful to the point where I find it hard to revisit his earlier better work.

  • Lucious_FoxLucious_Fox 2,479 Posts
    I wonder if he's gonna be given the green-light to interpret Through The Looking Glass.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    From the looks of things his next project is a reimagining feature length version of Frankenweenie, his 30 minute short film from 1984, so it really looks like he's going new places fast.

  • BeatnicholasBeatnicholas 1,005 Posts
    This film seems far too tailor made for Burton's kooky weird shtick to ever be more than entirely predictable. I would imagine it to be highly similar to Charlie & The Chocolate Factory with lots of bright visuals, zany episodes and Depp doing "Wacky".

    well that's the thing, charlie was not THAT hattable. he versioned the story but stuck to the original arrangement. you could liken it to a baltimore house cover version of ring the alarm - it was a burtonian interpretation, but still had the bassline of a classic at the heart of it.

    alice on the other hand, is like finding a record that says "tim burton's take me to the mardi gras", putting it on and listening to a gothic industrial rock mashup of westchester lady, nautilus and a hint of the mardi gras braek, with a final twist to wizard rock at the end. possibly vaguely entertaining in its own right but definitely not what it said on the tin.

  • "angry" has nothing to do with "extremely critical of shit films".

    this is how you film alice


    surely the most awesome is this - -currently uinavailable on DVD in the UK though - -bah!!!


  • mannybolonemannybolone 15,030 Posts

    alice on the other hand, is like finding a record that says "tim burton's take me to the mardi gras", putting it on and listening to a gothic industrial rock mashup of westchester lady, nautilus and a hint of the mardi gras braek, with a final twist to wizard rock at the end. possibly vaguely entertaining in its own right but definitely not what it said on the tin.

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