Married at 22 (biggest mistake ever), seperated at 26 (biggest shock ever), divorced at 28 (biggest sense of relief ever), am now 30 & the happiest I've ever been. But I believe there are multiple "the ones" you just probably don't meet them at the correct moments to realise it. That's why it doesn't really matter in the long run because a) people leave relationships every day & b) there's always someone else somewhere that's an equal or better match for you than your ex. There is no "right time" for marriage, just follow your heart & also listen to your head a bit.
In spite of what people have posted, its hard to see how saying some vows at a wedding or signing a document would really change our relationship much.
Everybody is different. For me, the living together was the biggest adjustment. Once the actual wedding took place, things were the way they were and any changes we have gone through have been the result of the usual stuff life throws in your path and getting older.
I'm with Birdman on this. Known my wife 5-6 years now. Moved in together after 1-2 years. Got married last year (32 years old). And while marriage was definitely a heavy experience, moving in together was the "difficult" part IMO. Being married has been smooth sailing so far.
I got married when I was 32 but the timing of that was no doubt influenced by the fact that we became parents 100 days prior. If not for that...who knows? I enjoy being married insofar as I enjoy being bound to my wife but that would have been the case without or without marriage since we have a kid together.
And like most, I echo the point: there is no "one." Who you choose to settle down with is the product of myriad factors and none of us are promised tomorrow to still be with who we are with now.
As for when the "best time" to get married is? I definitely think there's some practical wisdom to waiting until your 30s but obviously, it's different for everyone.
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
Hey Yuichi,
My thought on your 2nd question, "When should you get married," is around 30 years old. I say this because, in my experience, a lot of evolution occurs from early adulthood (say 18 years old) until you reach 30 (or thereabouts). With that said, you want to make sure that both parties in the relationship have a solid sense of who they are, what they want out of life, their likes and dislikes, and have had some experiences in the world to inform the previously listed aspects. Someone who is dripping wet with naivete out of high school is in NO POSITION to make a decision about who they wish to spend the rest of their lives with, at least not in this generation anyway. When I reached my late 20s, I had dated a number of women, and therefore, had a better sense of the kind of person compatible for me. I didn't know this during my previous engagement in 1992 when I was 23 years old, and later found out that my fiancee was absolutely NOT the kind of woman I should marry (see my description of her in my previous post). By the time I met my future wife, I knew in about 6 months to a year that she was the quality of woman that I could marry, so it was only a matter of the logistics of finishing school and be able to support a family. Once these concerns were secured, I proposed and we were married a day after I earned my PhD (since all the family and friends were in town). I married a great woman and I'm a better man because of it.
27. Previous to meeting my wife, I didn't date most of my girlfriends for more than a few months. One girl I was especially into, but in most ways our relationship was a complete train wreck. We would have killed each other.
Got married when I was 29, divorced at 39. I don't believe that there is "the one." Think EVERYTHING through before you get serious about getting married.
Comments
There is no "right time" for marriage, just follow your heart & also listen to your head a bit.
I think April and May weddings are the nicest.
Around 3pm-6pm
I'm with Birdman on this. Known my wife 5-6 years now. Moved in together after 1-2 years. Got married last year (32 years old). And while marriage was definitely a heavy experience, moving in together was the "difficult" part IMO. Being married has been smooth sailing so far.
And like most, I echo the point: there is no "one." Who you choose to settle down with is the product of myriad factors and none of us are promised tomorrow to still be with who we are with now.
As for when the "best time" to get married is? I definitely think there's some practical wisdom to waiting until your 30s but obviously, it's different for everyone.
My thought on your 2nd question, "When should you get married," is around 30 years old. I say this because, in my experience, a lot of evolution occurs from early adulthood (say 18 years old) until you reach 30 (or thereabouts). With that said, you want to make sure that both parties in the relationship have a solid sense of who they are, what they want out of life, their likes and dislikes, and have had some experiences in the world to inform the previously listed aspects. Someone who is dripping wet with naivete out of high school is in NO POSITION to make a decision about who they wish to spend the rest of their lives with, at least not in this generation anyway. When I reached my late 20s, I had dated a number of women, and therefore, had a better sense of the kind of person compatible for me. I didn't know this during my previous engagement in 1992 when I was 23 years old, and later found out that my fiancee was absolutely NOT the kind of woman I should marry (see my description of her in my previous post). By the time I met my future wife, I knew in about 6 months to a year that she was the quality of woman that I could marry, so it was only a matter of the logistics of finishing school and be able to support a family. Once these concerns were secured, I proposed and we were married a day after I earned my PhD (since all the family and friends were in town). I married a great woman and I'm a better man because of it.
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
Met "the one" at 23, married at 24, kid at 25 and been married for 25 years.
I do believe in "the one", but having been happily married for 25 years what else am I going to think.