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(NRR) What Age did you get married?

yuichiyuichi Urban sprawl 11,332 Posts
edited July 2009 in Strut Central
and how many times in your lifetime did you come across "the one"?"please be serious" one time for me.
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  Comments

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    I had a number of responses lined up for this but since you asked nicely and because I'm in that kind of mood.

    IMHO the number of times you come across "the one" reduces in proportion to every year you get older. Being a born dreamer, pretty much every girl I dated bitd seemed like the one at the time. With the benefit of hindsight most of them weren't even close to being someone I would want to spend more than a week in the company with.

    Lust and soulmate are pretty hard to separate when hormones are raging which is why people end up in situations where they're tearing their hair out daily over pretty much everything their partner does while saying shit like "I love them so much and we're so happy together but....."

    None of the above is necessarily bad though, I've been with my "one" for years now and have no doubt that it wouldn't have worked if I didn't have the failed attempts under my belt to teach me what I did want.

    So is a Mrs Yuichi on the cards then?
  • El PrezEl Prez NE Ohio 1,141 Posts
    married once at 29 and still married....
  • CBearCBear 902 Posts
    31 and thinking about it. We bought a house together already, but haven't found time to do the deed.

    I can say that I never would have chosen this girl earlier in my life. She wasn't flashy/stylee enough. But, now that I'm older and my tastes have matured, I'm able to recognize that she has all the qualities that are important to me in a long term relationship. It's been almost three years which is a record for me, and it looks like it's going to last a while.
  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    36

    I really don't buy into the concept of "the One", life is simply too random.

    That said, my advice is too stay with someone who has your nose open just enough to make you want to try harder in all aspects of your life, but not so much that you make stupid decisions based soley on "Looooove, man".

    You older folks on here know what I am talking about.
  • funky16cornersfunky16corners 7,175 Posts
    36

    I really don't buy into the concept of "the One", life is simply too random.

    That said, my advice is too stay with someone who has your nose open just enough to make you want to try harder in all aspects of your life, but not so much that you make stupid decisions based soley on "Looooove, man".

    You older folks on here know what I am talking about.


    Truth


    b/w


    37
  • Lucious_FoxLucious_Fox 2,479 Posts
    33/34........I forget
  • ageage 1,131 Posts
    36

    I really don't buy into the concept of "the One", life is simply too random.

    That said, my advice is too stay with someone who has your nose open just enough to make you want to try harder in all aspects of your life, but not so much that you make stupid decisions based soley on "Looooove, man".

    You older folks on here know what I am talking about.

    I could not agree more

    At age 32, that is when I made the big step and realized, this was the lady I wanted to grow old with.
  • asstroasstro 1,754 Posts
    Got married at 31. Spent almost 10 years with another woman I thought was "the one" before I met my wife.

    IMO there is no "the one", there are many people you will meet who could be the person you choose to spend your life with. It all depends on where you are in life, where they are, and a million other random things.
  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts
    25
  • LumpLump 30 Posts
    31
  • kitchenknightkitchenknight 4,922 Posts

    26, which was at least four years earlier than I would have liked, but once I met the person, it became apparent how things would end up.


    Also, this: lll
    lll
    VVV

    IMO there is no "the one", there are many people you will meet who could be the person you choose to spend your life with. It all depends on where you are in life, where they are, and a million other random things.
  • Jonny_PaycheckJonny_Paycheck 17,825 Posts
    30. I met my wife when I was 19, but took a long, circuitous route to marriage - with many forks, chasms, bridges, and roadblocks along the way.
  • funky16cornersfunky16corners 7,175 Posts
    30. I met my wife when I was 19, but took a long, circuitous route to marriage - with many forks, chasms, bridges, and roadblocks along the way.

    I've never seen the female anatomy described quite so vividly.
  • The_Hook_UpThe_Hook_Up 8,182 Posts
    Im not married yet, but have to agree on all "there is no 'the one'". I got engaged at 31 to the person I thought was "the one", after 6 months of our engagement I realized she was a selfish, self-righteous, manic depressive, judgemental bitch with shitty values...love is certainly blinding in some regards.
  • DeegreezDeegreez 804 Posts
    31.

    I also don't believe in the notion of THE ONE, but I chose wisely. You just have to make peace with that before you go into it.
  • MadtownFunkHoundMadtownFunkHound 10 Posts
    24

    met my wife in high school. things just always worked out well between us. happily married 4 years as of yesterday.
  • Jonny_PaycheckJonny_Paycheck 17,825 Posts
    30. I met my wife when I was 19, but took a long, circuitous route to marriage - with many forks, chasms, bridges, and roadblocks along the way.

    I've never seen the female anatomy described quite so vividly.

    Haha! Touche
  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    Hey Yuichi,

    I got married when I was 29 years old (only time I've married), and I was engaged once before (from 1992-1995; small-minded, unambitious hometown girl-related). I've been married for 10 years and I'm . Marriage is wonderful with the right spouse, but you must choose wisely (as Degreez said). I also don't believe in "the one," but you must seek out someone who is compatible on a basic level (e.g., values, beliefs, temperament, habits, ambitions, intelligence, appearance, etc.). Also, one must remember that love is an action verb, so a person's actions with manifest their love (or lack of it). "Look deep before you leap" as Judge Mablean use to say.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak
  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts

    26, which was at least four years earlier than I would have liked, but once I met the person, it became apparent how things would end up.


    I will cosign this. I didn't really think I would get married in my 20's but once my wife and I were together it just seemed natural to stay together. I've only been married two years but it has been wonderful.
  • youngEINSTEINyoungEINSTEIN 2,443 Posts
    great thread yuichi!

    thanks for the insight guys.

    peace, stein. . .
  • pcmrpcmr 5,591 Posts
    i will be married at 25
  • pacmanpacman 1,114 Posts
    26. Lasted 3 years.
  • kitchenknightkitchenknight 4,922 Posts
    One other thing...

    To those who fall into the refrain of, "well, we live together, and getting married won't be any different," that is some silliness.

    Sure, your routine in the morning won't change, and you'll still turn off the same lamp before bed.

    But, the idea that you two are building a life together, for the rest of your earthly days, is some heavy shit, and not to be taken lightly.

    I'll leave out the legal/civil shit, and the organized religion as well, but when you make the vow to that person, in front of whatever collected family and friends you have, that is a powerful experience and gesture. It sybolizes not a party or some bullshit, but the effort that both of you will make to be together until the end.

    And, just living together and keeping a toothbrush in the same cup doesn't mean the same thing. I'm not on some, "YOU HAVE TO GET MARRIED!" shit; do what works for you, I don't care. But, I do think, should you choose to marry, it DOES change things in major ways.
  • HarveyCanalHarveyCanal "a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
    Married at 28, divorced at 37...IMO no such thing as "the one" in that even if you think you have it, things could change like the wind...and much is out of your hands to even attempt to control it.
  • SnappingSnapping 995 Posts
    31 and thinking about it. We bought a house together already, but haven't found time to do the deed.

    I can say that I never would have chosen this girl earlier in my life. She wasn't flashy/stylee enough. But, now that I'm older and my tastes have matured, I'm able to recognize that she has all the qualities that are important to me in a long term relationship. It's been almost three years which is a record for me, and it looks like it's going to last a while.

    Its amazing how much this matches my current situation, except that my age is 36. In spite of what people have posted, its hard to see how saying some vows at a wedding or signing a document would really change our relationship much.
  • soulmarcosasoulmarcosa 4,296 Posts
    I dated my ex-wife when I was 20, married when I was 25, we separated at 36 (my choice), and divorced at 37.

    I probably married too young and ignored a lot of early red flags, but I still think my ex is a great person and I don't regret having stayed in a 16-year relationship despite all the problems. We had our good times and I treasure them.

    Marriage is a good option for the right couple who's willing to make it work, and I learned a lot about how to keep a relationship going strong through the bad times. The next girl will be glad I had the experience.

    Though I will say that being single has made me a much better cook than when I was married.
  • Birdman9Birdman9 5,417 Posts
    31 and thinking about it. We bought a house together already, but haven't found time to do the deed.

    I can say that I never would have chosen this girl earlier in my life. She wasn't flashy/stylee enough. But, now that I'm older and my tastes have matured, I'm able to recognize that she has all the qualities that are important to me in a long term relationship. It's been almost three years which is a record for me, and it looks like it's going to last a while.

    Its amazing how much this matches my current situation, except that my age is 36. In spite of what people have posted, its hard to see how saying some vows at a wedding or signing a document would really change our relationship much.

    Everybody is different. For me, the living together was the biggest adjustment. Once the actual wedding took place, things were the way they were and any changes we have gone through have been the result of the usual stuff life throws in your path and getting older.
  • JLRJLR 3,835 Posts
    29. I later discovered that being married is a decision you make every day.

    AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts

    Everybody is different. For me, the living together was the biggest adjustment. Once the actual wedding took place, things were the way they were and any changes we have gone through have been the result of the usual stuff life throws in your path and getting older.


    Yeah, this was true for me too. My wife and I had a much tougher time when we were living together with next to no money in a shitty apartment. Getting through that made us realize marriage was for us.
  • yuichiyuichi Urban sprawl 11,332 Posts
    I knew I asked the right people. I guess I'm pretty cautious when it comes to big decisions and marriage certainly is something I won't jump into without ample thought. My ex was "the one", I dated her 4 years during my college life, and after I got my feet back under me, I dated another girl for two. She's leaving for Japan on Monday. She's the type of girl that I could bring along to any function and be totally comfortable and be myself. That wasn't the case with my ex.

    Anyway, I'm 27 and getting to the age where people are getting married. For women in Japan, it's a big deal. If you're not married by the age of 30, you see a lot of women real bummed about the fact. It seems a lil different in the U.S.

    I guess the next question would be,

    WHEN DO YOU THINK IS THE RIGHT TIME TO GET MARRIED?

    I'm thinking financially stable, love is there, understanding is there...

    I'm babbling but please continue on...
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