b, 21Monogamy is unrealistic. I didn't say undesirable...just unrealistic.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21
b, 21do tell, professor
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21Ain't no mystery, gods (and uh, earths)! b, 21b, 21I don't creep on wifey but I also don't buy the idea that monogamy is a remotely "natural" state of being, either socially or biologically.
b, 21Monogamy is unrealistic. I didn't say undesirable...just unrealistic.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21It may be unrealistic, but it's still do-able. My pa always tried to tell me that "no matter how much a man loves you he will most probably cheat. Sex is different from love. This is realisty. Get used to it."b, 21Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!b, 21b, 21My boy and i are in a pretty difficult situation being that it is lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllong distance so there has to be an incredible amount of trust.....i'd sometimes say a lil more so than in a normal relationship because clearly there is no keeping tabs on each other, and NO physical needs being met. b, 21Neither of us have issues with being flirty with others (too unrealistic otherwise) but the moment one feels a need to cross the line then we both know ish needs to be reconsidered. b, 21The crazy ish you do fo love. awwwwwwwwwww.haha.
b, 21My boy and i are in a pretty difficult situation being that it is lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllong distance so there has to be an incredible amount of trust.....i'd sometimes say a lil more so than in a normal relationship because clearly there is no keeping tabs on each other, and NO physical needs being met.
b, 21Neither of us have issues with being flirty with others (too unrealistic otherwise) but the moment one feels a need to cross the line then we both know ish needs to be reconsidered.
b, 21The crazy ish you do fo love. awwwwwwwwwww.haha.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21Did u tell him your relocationg to NYC?
b, 21Monogamy is unrealistic. I didn't say undesirable...just unrealistic.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21
b, 21It may be unrealistic, but it's still do-able. My pa always tried to tell me that "no matter how much a man loves you he will most probably cheat. Sex is different from love. This is realisty. Get used to it."
b, 21My boy and i are in a pretty difficult situation being that it is lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllong distance so there has to be an incredible amount of trust.....i'd sometimes say a lil more so than in a normal relationship because clearly there is no keeping tabs on each other, and NO physical needs being met.
b, 21Neither of us have issues with being flirty with others (too unrealistic otherwise) but the moment one feels a need to cross the line then we both know ish needs to be reconsidered.
b, 21The crazy ish you do fo love. awwwwwwwwwww.haha.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21This is what I'm saying though: b, 21b, 21I'm not trying to get too meta-philosophical about it but seriously, what exactly is the point of monogamy? To me, it's somewhere between a gesture ("I love you so much that I forgo sleeping with anyone else") and a social contract premised on the idea that there is no commitment without sexual fidelity. b, 21b, 21Between the two, I think the latter at least makes some sort of sense - we enter into social contracts all the time, not because they're ideal, but we're willing to sacrifice some things (our freedoms) for other things (security). However, both are dependent on this wholly socialized belief system that monogamy is *inherently* superior and preferable to polyamory (or some variation thereof) and that just makes no rational sense to me. It's only preferable because our social mores rarely condone anything but. So long as you don't want to be seen or treated as deviant, you play by those rules but I just think they're unrealistic rules. b, 21b, 21Loving my wife doesn't make me any less attracted to other women and that attraction, from my perspective, has nothing to do with finding my wife any less attractive or desirable or the person I want to be with in life.
Haha. Yeah, i'd talked to him about doing that a while back. It'd be better for both of us (except for the moolie to set up in nyc factor), its cheaper and quicker to get to him than where i am at the mo.
b, 21Haha. Yeah, i'd talked to him about doing that a while back. It'd be better for both of us (except for the moolie to set up in nyc factor), its cheaper and quicker to get to him than where i am at the mo.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21My rent is cheaper than BATMON's. img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/balla-22.gif" alt="" 21
b, 21Monogamy is unrealistic. I didn't say undesirable...just unrealistic.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21
b, 21It may be unrealistic, but it's still do-able. My pa always tried to tell me that "no matter how much a man loves you he will most probably cheat. Sex is different from love. This is realisty. Get used to it."
b, 21My boy and i are in a pretty difficult situation being that it is lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllong distance so there has to be an incredible amount of trust.....i'd sometimes say a lil more so than in a normal relationship because clearly there is no keeping tabs on each other, and NO physical needs being met.
b, 21Neither of us have issues with being flirty with others (too unrealistic otherwise) but the moment one feels a need to cross the line then we both know ish needs to be reconsidered.
b, 21The crazy ish you do fo love. awwwwwwwwwww.haha.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21
b, 21
b, 21Loving my wife doesn't make me any less attracted to other women and that attraction, from my perspective, has nothing to do with finding my wife any less attractive or desirable or the person I want to be with in life.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21Nicely said!!b, 21b, 21I definately agree with you- does make a lot of sense. I just hated hearing my dad use that "unrealistic" (although i do agree with it not being natural) tripe as his defence for bein an ass. Actually he did more of a number on guys in general. Just saying it's not natural for MEN to be faithful. I think he wanted me to be a lesbian....i'm surprised i'm not actually!!ahahahahhaha
b, 21Haha. Yeah, i'd talked to him about doing that a while back. It'd be better for both of us (except for the moolie to set up in nyc factor), its cheaper and quicker to get to him than where i am at the mo.
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" 21 img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" 21 But i think we worked out he cooks nicer food?? Whoever was cooking the steak, that's where i'll be. img src="/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/know.gif" alt="" 21
b, 21There is a pretty strong claim that there is at least SOMETHING biologically inherent about monogamy. That is, a certain gene probably has some influence on a particular individual's propensity for singleness/playerness.
b, 21Monogamy is unrealistic. I didn't say undesirable...just unrealistic.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21
b, 21It may be unrealistic, but it's still do-able. My pa always tried to tell me that "no matter how much a man loves you he will most probably cheat. Sex is different from love. This is realisty. Get used to it."
b, 21My boy and i are in a pretty difficult situation being that it is lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllong distance so there has to be an incredible amount of trust.....i'd sometimes say a lil more so than in a normal relationship because clearly there is no keeping tabs on each other, and NO physical needs being met.
b, 21Neither of us have issues with being flirty with others (too unrealistic otherwise) but the moment one feels a need to cross the line then we both know ish needs to be reconsidered.
b, 21The crazy ish you do fo love. awwwwwwwwwww.haha.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21
b, 21This is what I'm saying though:
b, 21
b, 21I'm not trying to get too meta-philosophical about it but seriously, what exactly is the point of monogamy? To me, it's somewhere between a gesture ("I love you so much that I forgo sleeping with anyone else") and a social contract premised on the idea that there is no commitment without sexual fidelity.
b, 21
b, 21Between the two, I think the latter at least makes some sort of sense - we enter into social contracts all the time, not because they're ideal, but we're willing to sacrifice some things (our freedoms) for other things (security). However, both are dependent on this wholly socialized belief system that monogamy is *inherently* superior and preferable to polyamory (or some variation thereof) and that just makes no rational sense to me. It's only preferable because our social mores rarely condone anything but. So long as you don't want to be seen or treated as deviant, you play by those rules but I just think they're unrealistic rules.
b, 21
b, 21Loving my wife doesn't make me any less attracted to other women and that attraction, from my perspective, has nothing to do with finding my wife any less attractive or desirable or the person I want to be with in life.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21Monogamy is so next man don't waste your kid and "start fresh."
Maybe monogamy goes against human nature (and maybe genes, as mentioned in one of the above posts). Waking up at 7 am for work goes against human nature. Choosing to eat veggies over sweets goes against human nature. Things get way messier and violent and more dramatic with polyamory. Maybe drama is part of human nature too, maybe the world just tends toward general entropy. I just think things get more fusked up with affairs than without them.
i learned before marriage that this ends trust even though in some cases relationships may not end right then whether you tell her or not,they eventually do end from the loss of trust. i have cheated and i got cheated on too.
b, 21Maybe monogamy goes against human nature (and maybe genes, as mentioned in one of the above posts). Waking up at 7 am for work goes against human nature. Choosing to eat veggies over sweets goes against human nature. Things get way messier and violent and more dramatic with polyamory. Maybe drama is part of human nature too, maybe the world just tends toward general entropy. I just think things get more fusked up with affairs than without them.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21An affair is usually the symptom of a much bigger/deeper issue.
b, 21Maybe monogamy goes against human nature (and maybe genes, as mentioned in one of the above posts). Waking up at 7 am for work goes against human nature. Choosing to eat veggies over sweets goes against human nature. Things get way messier and violent and more dramatic with polyamory. Maybe drama is part of human nature too, maybe the world just tends toward general entropy. I just think things get more fusked up with affairs than without them.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21Marriage is a social construct. Vegetables are good for you.
b, 21Maybe monogamy goes against human nature (and maybe genes, as mentioned in one of the above posts). Waking up at 7 am for work goes against human nature. Choosing to eat veggies over sweets goes against human nature. Things get way messier and violent and more dramatic with polyamory. Maybe drama is part of human nature too, maybe the world just tends toward general entropy. I just think things get more fusked up with affairs than without them.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21Having an affair implicitly suggests a breach of trust since the term itself refers to going behind someone's back to conduct the affair. In that situation, it's the breach of trust that is destructive rather than the act of sleeping with someone else. Plenty of people manage successful open relationships because there is an above-board understanding with everyone involved. b, 21b, 21Plenty of people can't manage successful open relationships because they're still wed (no pun intended) to the idea that sexual monogamy and commitment require one another. I don't begrudge those people - I'm probably one of them - but I also recognize that my impulse towards monogamy is something that's been drilled into me rather than where my physical attractions and social curiosities might lead me towards otherwise. b, 21b, 21Don't take my comments as an inherent critique of those in monogamous relationships. I think most people genuinely try to make it work and I applaud that effort. But my original point is that I also think it's unrealistic and given the high rate of infidelity out there - for both men and women - I don't think I'm off the mark in suggesting that it is a difficult task to take on. b, 21b, 21So is, I suppose, eating veggies instead of red meat but straying towards a burger once in a while isn't likely to destroy your relationship with someone (unless you're dating a hardcore vegan), whereas monogamy requires a life-long commitment with nary a weak moment allowed. Once again: that's just unrealistic. Even more so, it's unreasonable if you think about the standard that demands to be held.
b, 21Does this validate poor decision-making though?
b, 21
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21"Validate"? Maybe not. But my point is that there's a reason so many men and women cheat and I don't think it's purely because of poor judgment. b, 21b, 21Drinking and driving is poor judgment. Wanting to F*ck different people doesn't strike me as a "judgment" call, good or bad. b, 21b, 21Violating your partner's trust is the poor judgment but again, that's about the social contract, not about the underlying desire.
b, 21Does this validate poor decision-making though?
b, 21
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21
b, 21"Validate"? Maybe not. But my point is that there's a reason so many men and women cheat and I don't think it's purely because of poor judgment.
b, 21
b, 21Drinking and driving is poor judgment. Wanting to F*ck different people doesn't strike me as a "judgment" call, good or bad.
b, 21
b, 21Violating your partner's trust is the poor judgment but again, that's about the social contract, not about the underlying desire.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21So are just you saying it's unrealistic that someone who is married will not want to f*ck other people?b, 21b, 21Or are you going further and saying that it is unrealistic that they will actually refrain from following through with their desires?b, 21b, 21b/wb, 21b, 21I think the most interesting question that follows from the points you made above is how we ended up valuing monogamy so much to begin with. We've put these "unrealistic" bounds on each at least since the beginning of recorded history, and probably long before that. How did we first get on to this idea of monogamy, anyway? (the experiment on mice I linked above would say it actually is nature)
b, 21Variety is the spice of life. Monogamy is soft.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21You will regret saying that when you're an old, lonely collectros with nothing but a room full of raers with no one to share them with.
b, 21Does this validate poor decision-making though?
b, 21
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21
b, 21"Validate"? Maybe not. But my point is that there's a reason so many men and women cheat and I don't think it's purely because of poor judgment.
b, 21
b, 21Drinking and driving is poor judgment. Wanting to F*ck different people doesn't strike me as a "judgment" call, good or bad.
b, 21
b, 21Violating your partner's trust is the poor judgment but again, that's about the social contract, not about the underlying desire.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21If we're talking about "desires", it's definitely not wrong. b, 21b, 21FESS UP O-DUB. I KNOW ABOUT YOUR AFTERNOON ESCAPADES AT THE WAREHOUSE ON PICO BLVD...
b, 21Variety is the spice of life. Monogamy is soft.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21
b, 21You will regret saying that when you're an old, lonely collectros with nothing but a room full of raers with no one to share them with.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21Far off fears don't guide I and I. That schitt is for neurotic mid-20's single chicks with below average looks.b, 21b, 21???Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed in the things you did not do than the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.??? - Mark Twain
b, 21I think the most interesting question that follows from the points you made above is how we ended up valuing monogamy so much to begin with. We've put these "unrealistic" bounds on each at least since the beginning of recorded history, and probably long before that. How did we first get on to this idea of monogamy, anyway? (the experiment on mice I linked above would say it actually
is nature) b, 21b, 21h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21One experiment cant possibly answer the question.
b, 21Variety is the spice of life. Monogamy is soft.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21
b, 21You will regret saying that when you're an old, lonely collectros with nothing but a room full of raers with no one to share them with.
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1
b, 21Far off fears don't guide I and I. That schitt is for neurotic mid-20's single chicks with below average looks.
b, 21
b, 21???Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed in the things you did not do than the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.??? - Mark Twain
b, 21
b, 21
h, 21
font class="post"1b, 21b, 21b, 21all this and more coming from a guy who still lives at home and who recently got laid for the first time with a fat chick[after cosulting soulstrut to find out if he should bone said porkess]
Comments