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Movies So Bad They're Good

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  • SoulOnIceSoulOnIce 13,027 Posts

    Spanish explorers landed in Florida, then one of them was taken hostage by local Indians and brought to a city of gold built by the Mayans in South Dakota, which would later be covered up by Mount Rushmore. Then Queen Elizabeth hid clues to find the gold in her desk, the President's desk, and in code on one of the Statues of Liberty.

    I'm pretty sure this is the plot of a Choose Your Own Adventure book.

  • SoulOnIceSoulOnIce 13,027 Posts


    Anybody mention Half Past Dead yet?

    Just watching it for the first time, and the team of
    Stephen "Bluesman" Seagal and Ja "90 lbs of Pain" Rule makes
    for the cinematic equivalent of Rawkus Deadstock Gold.

  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts


    Anybody mention Half Past Dead yet?

    Just watching it for the first time, and the team of
    Stephen "Bluesman" Seagal and Ja "90 lbs of Pain" Rule makes
    for the cinematic equivalent of Rawkus Deadstock Gold.

    Half Past Dead is a favourite of my post Under Siege Seagal collection. It's kind of depressing when you realise this is the second movie Morris Chestnut had made with the big man.

    From his recent career I'd also like to highlight the following gems:



    Notable for Steven's relationship with a Japanese woman young enough to be his granddaughter. It features a particularly touching scene where she reveals that she has only been working for Steven due to her love for him. He in turn tells her he is fond of her which, naturally, reduces her to tears. The ensuing scene where she does a strip dance for Steven wile he reclines on a couch is both erotic and emotional.



    One of Seagal's 'buddy' movies. Highlights include the (i pray) adlibbed banter that crawls back and forth between Steven and his costar, a blind man remarking that Steven "walks like a black man and breaths like a killer" and the fact that he is doing it all to save a children's hospital.

  • On Stern once, they told a story of Steven Seagal walking out of his trailer...

    He had a funny look on his face, and exclaimed, "I just read the greatest screenplay ever written."

    Someone on the scene asked, "Who wrote it?"

    To which he replied..."Me."

  • coffinjoecoffinjoe 1,743 Posts
    On Stern once, they told a story of Steven Seagal walking out of his trailer...

    He had a funny look on his face, and exclaimed, "I just read the greatest screenplay ever written."

    Someone on the scene asked, "Who wrote it?"

    To which he replied..."Me."

    besides that great photo with pencil thin moustache "the program"
    my fave story of the Steven :

    "In my humble opinion Steven Seagal may have been choked out by Gene Lebell , see below and do come to your own conclusion. I happen to love his movies and he used to be a bodyguard and I heard he did his job very well.

    On Court TV's website under Criminal Minds Chapter "Plateaued" "..On the set of one movie, he challenged a stunt man, who was a black belt in judo, to try to choke him out, a judo technique in which pressure is applied to the carotid artery in the neck until the victim is rendered temporarily unconscious. According to one source, Seagal claimed to be impervious to the technique. He was wrong. The producers of the film became frantic when they saw their NBA-sized star lying unconscious on the ground..."
    http://www.crimelibrary.com/criminal_min..."
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