Who grew up in a family with financial constraints
yuichi
Urban sprawl 11,331 Posts
and has made it. Enough so that they could give back to their family and help 'em out?I wanna do something for a living that I enjoy doing, but I also wanna be able to give back to my family as well, especially since my family is in a real tight situation these days, and my mom is hella stressing over financial matters. Enough that it takes away from her overall well-being and livelihood. We're middle-class, and I'm sure there's a bunch of others that are below the poverty line but I do wanna point out that we have problems of our own.When people don't have money, all others problems are magnified. What yall do to make it through? What are some tips on "making it to the other side"?I think I am getting in a situation (for better or worse), where "There's no other option but to succeed".
Comments
I can't speak for everyone here, but I know as a kid I looked at a lot of my friends and we were in similar situations. I remember when my dad (r.i.p.) got laid off from his elevator job (Otis). We had to move around a bit, and it lead to about two months of eating tuna and rice. I realize having a roof and eating tuna & rice is a lot more luxurious than what a lot of other people had. Having a quarter for lunch was great, having an extra quarter to eat "ice cake" (frozen guava or passion orange juice in those wax paper cups with the blue or pink swirl) was a treat.
We always had a roof over our heads, but my dad grew and sold weed to pay bills, that's almost automatic. Nothing like going into the abandoned car in the front and smelling the aroma from the leaves that were being dried out on the dashboard. But at a young impressionable age, as I saw what I was going through and envying my friends who had better, I felt they had it lucky and I didn't. I saw how hard my dad worked too, and yet still had to do what he had to do. It would be nice to be able to help my mom, and sometimes I have to deal with helping myself. Which is key, because it's too easy to blame the world for all of your problems, and in that time you could have been making an effort. Sometimes making the effort is half of the struggle, and I'm generally impatient. It's true that when things are down, "all others problems are magnified", and for awhile I phased out on a lot of things, it had taken me a little over a year to get out of where my head was at.
Have a Plan B or C, and if Plan A is your one and only choice, be prepared for a big wake up call. Cut your vices and habits, rearrange what you do on a daily basis. Reconsider your job options. Set yourself up with a deadline in two years, and see how much you've progressed when that time arrives. I also found this to be very important: DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP. I'm not talking financial but it can be, but when you feel as if the world is on your shoulders (cue "Just A Touch Of Love"), seek a family member or a good friend and have them give you a bit of guidance. At that point they may know you a lot better than you know yourself, and when you're at your most vulnerable, their talks may help you come up with the epiphany you may or may not have been looking for.
Like you, I want to do what I love doing, and be able to not only help my family, but to be able to donate to charity from time to time, I've always wanted to do that. Patience is key, although I've been waiting a whole lotta years for opportunities to happen. At times I feel by the time I get an opportunitiy, I'll forget what I was trying to accomplish.
There you go. It's one thing to have goals and aspirations, but then you have to deal with what's in front of and around you. Also, DON'T allow yourself to be held back by what you think your limitations are, because only you hold yourself back.
Do you have a college degree? If so, think about a graduate degree.
Also, utilize the first time buyer program to buy a house. Then build on the equity of your home to acquire additional properties or open a business.
Yuichi- wait on the housing plan for a bit-- although not a bad idea to build on equity for a business, etc., the market is pretty shitty right now, and a conservative estimate is it will be that way, (especially in So Cal) for at least a year if not more.
One thing I would advise you to do youngin', is force yourself to develop an interest in reading about the housing market (there's at least one article every day in the LA Times). Pay attention to who is talking about it, it's usually the same few groups (in LA, it's Anderson Group of Forecasters, etc.) Learn about the housing market from both an ownership and an investor perspective. The former is important for well being at some point, the latter is important to understand for financial well being, and will help you understand other markets if you decide to invest elsewhere in the future.
A lot of people will say "you should have $10G's that you are willing to play with and possibly lose if you're gonna start trying to grow a portfolio." Personally, at your age (I'm approximating here, I don't know exactly how old you are) I didn't have that sort of dough laying around. The one thing I wish I had done more was SAVE. It definitely would have helped to have a fall back stash more than once, and I never had it. Try to find a "high" yield savings account/CD/Money Market acct, etc. (wikipedia, meng!)
ING is a safe bet for most folks that want to keep it simple: http://home.ingdirect.com/products/products.asp
yeah, don't bother because you're in a tough market. just keep paying rent and read about investments on wiki.
where was that kind of wisdom when i was coming up?
i'm not trying to be funny, meng.
Houses for sale used to get sold within a week. I've seen houses sitting with 'for sale' signs for months and months because the owners think they can still get the same kind of money that they could have a few years ago. A few years ago people were willing to spend 500+ on a piece of shit. People are doing that any more.
Yuichi, you want to make money? Get a degree, get a job. I used to be dirt poor. Now I'm not. It took a long time to get here, but at least I did it on my own with no handouts from my parents or whatever. I can look at what I have and know that I earned it. I came out to SD with NOTHING. I slept on a couch and delivered pizzas. I used to take the leftovers home so I could have something to eat. But I went to school, and now I have a nice job (it took a while to get a job too, but it happened) and now I live pretty damned comfortably (for me anyways).
It can happen, but it takes a long time and it can get pretty frustrating.
you're failing at riding my dick. stop.
My wife is my inspiration in the taking-care-of-business department. She has been taking care of herself, her sister and their mother since she was out of high school. My Mother-in-Law sacrificed big time and worked her ass off so both of her girls could get to college, and my wife continued that to make sure they owned their own home and did what they could to help the youngest make it through college. All this and my mother-in-law is a first generation immigrant from a large family with not much in the way of any $$$. Persistence and education are key, as are being able to discipline yourself to set aside your money and make it work. I am still learning this, as I come from a more affluent family(at least by comparison) and grew up kind of clueless about money and how it works. My wife vowed that she and her mother would never be poor or in a desperate financial situation, and believe me, that resolve is firm as steel.
Indeed. I don't mind sharing this, but I had a job as a news producer that was quite good and what I felt was secure. I live in a small market, so I guess I didn't realize that my job would become as disposable as any other, even though I felt I did the tasks of four different people. After almost eight years of being at the same place, they let me go. I was never given an official answer, just a nice check to cover me for awhile and a request for the keys to the building. After that, it's been various other small jobs, none of them paying as well as what I was making as a news producer.
I know, sob story right there, but shit gets rough. Again, if you are in the position to do better, or to keep at your job, or find something else that is truly satisfying to you, take it. Try not to second guess. There was that thread a few days ago about REGRET, I regret not moving early on, and sometimes I feel completely stuck in this hellhole. That's the frustrating part. I envision "light at the end of the tunnel", but it would be great if that happened in weeks or months, and not years. Put frustrations to the side, and move your way forward.
And take your hits in stride. You can recover faster now vs when you are older. Stay mobile. Don't confuse stability with a fucking graveyard. If you don't get up and like what you do, move on. Because if you don't, your mind will eventually move on without you.
But don't let your mind play tricks on you either, sometimes you gotta keep your head down and TCB, and worry about being 'fulfilled' or 'happy' when you have the luxury to worry about it.
Some real gems in there, including this one. Thanks for your input my man!
Yea, I would like to make money, but in order to do that, I'd have to go the corporate route. Whether I'm made for that, is another matter. So basically, right now I'm taking additional accounting courses to work towards a CPA license in the future. It's my "back-up plan" if nothing else works.
Fatback,
Word. Good words about staying mobile especially when you're young. I guess the older you get, the faster your "window of opportunity" closes.
DrWu,
Good advice on the "control your appetite, and be a straight shooter".
Beam,
Saving is hard to do. If there was no stress at the workplace, there would be no need to spend on "extra" stuff I guess. But ultimately, I'd like to invest my savings in stocks. A dual income family where I could manage my wife's money would be great!
Birdman,
Word. "Her resolve and determination are as firm as steel", I liked that part.
don't confuse mobility with freedom.
don't confuse freedom with running scared.
believe in luck.
believe in thinking.
believe in risking.
believe in your first, gut instinct.
eatin aint living.
drinking is.
This book meant a lot to me when I read it a couple years back. (I mentioned this book before on this board a year or so back.) I don't have much more to add right now - but to say I really noticed a couple years back how jumping between social classes - mostly up - really affected my life.
What class are you?