I see this as a recurring column in which you Swiss cheese up somebody for being a carpetbaguette and then end each one with, "So, [carpetbagger], what do you keep in that carpetbag anyway?" on some drop-the-mic-and-strike-the-Heisman-pose shit.
btw bol is an occasional genius, i don't know what blog you've been reading
I attempted to convince Jive Records to cancel the release of OutKast???s Idlewild and lock it in the same safe where they keep that film Jerry Lewis made about the Holocaust
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
btw bol is an occasional genius, i don't know what blog you've been reading
I attempted to convince Jive Records to cancel the release of OutKast???s Idlewild and lock it in the same safe where they keep that film Jerry Lewis made about the Holocaust
My prediction, Noz, is that one day when you reach a certain age, you will appreciate Idlewild...or at least appreciate Outkast's drive to do it.
Even though you may now sincerely hate Idlewild with a passion, Bol you are not...and for good reason.
btw bol is an occasional genius, i don't know what blog you've been reading
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
btw bol is an occasional genius, i don't know what blog you've been reading
Yes, he's obviously some sort a genius ...
Monday, July 2nd, 2007
The Half-Year in Rap
My opinions on the year in rap so far. Without further ado[/b].
Rap Album of the Half-Year
Presented to the best rap album of the year, by a wide margin, in this case
Winner: El-P, I???ll Sleep When You???re Dead
There???s been three or four pretty good rap albums so far this year, but El-P???s I???ll Sleep When You???re Dead is the only one I???m still listening to on a regular basis months after the fact, as if it was??? you know, a rock album.[/b] Indeed, there???s definitely a rock-ish element to ISWYD, but it doesn???t take being a cracka-ass cracka to appreciate what El-P has done here, just a smart person.
???90s Rap Dinosaur of the Half-Year
Presented to a relic of ???90s-era hip-hop who???s still keeping the dream alive
Winner: Redman
For the longest time, it seemed like there would never be another Redman album. But then earlier this year Red Gone Wild just sorta appeared, to the sounds of crickets. It???s good though, really. I???m not too familiar with Doc???s Da Name or Malpractice, but Red Gone Wild sounds like it could be a legit follow-up to Muddy Waters. Which is pretty much the highest praise you can give to an album.
The Don???t Believe the Hype Award
Presented to bullshit albums people on the Internets think are good[/b]
Winner: 3-way tie: Devin the Dude, Waiting to Inhale[/b]; Sean Price, Jesus Price Supastar; Joell Ortiz, The Brick: Bodega Chronicles
Say what you will about so-called black radio, which is pretty much the music its listeners deserve,[/b] but damnit if the Internets haven???t been guilty of promoting their share of not particularly worthwhile rap music. For what it???s worth, those Devin the Dude and Sean P. albums at least had their moments. That Joell Ortiz album? Yikes!
The No One Gives a Shit Award
Presented to guys who should probably stick to making ringtones or whatever
Winner: 3-way tie: Mims, Music Is My Savior; Rich Boy, Timmah - The Album; Shop Boyz, Rockstar Mentality
I???m not gonna lie, the only one of these albums I???ve actually heard is the Rich Boy, which is awful. But I suppose the Mims and the Shop Boyz could actually among the year???s best rap albums. But let???s face it: they aren???t. They aren???t selling very well either, except if you count ringtones and shit. How long until labels begin signing these jigs[/b] just to record singles rather than entire albums?
The Perseverance in the Face of Reason Award
Presented to something hardly anyone likes, which keeps getting shoved in our faces
Winner: The hyphy movement
If ever there was a sign of the music industry???s utter contempt for us, the would-be buying public, it???s the fact that they keep trying to push this hyphy bullshit off on us year after year. Why? Because it???s regional? If anything, the last several years of hip-hop have shown that there???s an inverse relation between the ???regional??? nature of a recording and its overall quality.[/b] Think about it.
The It Was Fun While It Lasted Award
Presented to a genre of rap that was inexplicably popular for three months two years ago[/b]
Winner: Houston rap[/b]
I???m assuming those new albums by Mike Jones and Paul Wall were released at some point this year, but I wouldn???t know, because you hardly ever hear anything about them anymore. Chamillionaire???s ???Riding Dirty??? remained inexplicably popular for most of last year, but what about his new album. Was there ever a single released from it? Was Slim Thug???s Already Platinum ever certified gold, let alone platinum?
Shit Sandwich of the Half-Year
Presented to Hip-Hop???s grisliest botched abortion[/b], at least until Curtis comes out
Winner: T.I. - T.I. vs. T.I.P.
I???m glad Noz said it first, because if I said it, people would just assume I was a hater. The new T.I. isn???t just bad, it???s awful. Granted I wasn???t a huge fan of King either, but that???s almost a good album compared to this garbage. Almost. T.I. vs. T.I.P. is like the shitty second half of King, only made even shittier and expanded out over the course of an entire hour.
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
Looks like the kind of dude who would taste his own poo.
I said this yesterday without really realizing how often he references the "shit sandwich".
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
Bol really needs to be exterminated...
Thursday, July 12th, 2007
Lauryn Hill, psycho hose beast
I???ll admit, sometimes my misogyny gets the best of me. It???s not so much that I hate women, it???s just that I love women so much that I want them to be the best they can possibly be, and sometimes my love clouds my better judgment. Nhjic.
Case in point, when I heard, back when I was in college, that the guys who really produced Lauryn Hill???s The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill were suing her because she was trying to take credit for a whole buncha shit she didn???t do and because she???s an insane beeyotch who???s not nearly as talented as she???d have you believe, I just took it for granted that this was true.
Obviously I wasn???t at a vantage point during the album???s recording to know one way or the other, but I just assumed that it was, since, let???s face it, I???m a bigot like it. The idea that someone like Lauryn Hill would be a fraud just sounded right, especially when you consider that the only really good albums by women (Live Through This by Hole and Hard Core by Lil??? Kim) were secretly written by men.[/b]
As is the case more often than not, I turned out to be right anyway. Without male collaborators such as Wyclef and the rest of the smelly Haitians who worked on the Score[/b], and whoever it was who really wrote and produced the Miseducation, the best she could come up with was that garbage she was kicking that time she was on MTV Unplugged. What???s more, she could hardly sing, since she had obviously burned her vocal chords from smoking too much crack.[/b]
I???d be lying if I said I spent very much time wondering what she was up to these past five years or so, but, since you mention it, I???m assuming she???s been holed up in her home with which ever one of those worthless Marley spawn she???s married to and their smelly kids, smoking crack[/b] and trying to will herself into becoming a great songwriter the same way Neil Young beat epilepsy. (My bad for even having to drag Neil Young into this.)
If ???Lose Myself,??? her new single from the soundtrack to some Disney movie which was intended to be her big comeback hit of the summer, is any indication of the level of progress she???s made, she might want to take another five or ten years off. Why? Because the shit isn???t any good, that???s why.
However, that hasn???t stopped from going on a small comeback tour of places where there???s still enough saps willing to drop $80 to watch a washed up Lauryn Hill. So far, I know it???s been to Oakland, California and London, England, and it should be hitting NY in a little bit. If the first few dates are any indication of what you ???bags in NY have to look forward to, you could be in for the worst concert evar.
Take for example this report of a gig she played in England the other day.
The singer played at the Birmingham Academy last night (July 9) and turned up on stage two hours late at 10.30pm. Some fans had already left before she turned up.
Once onstage, fans have described her as looking ???wasted??? and ???cracked out???, with one saying that it was ???the worst gig of my life.???
Yikes!
On the one hand, you can???t help but feel sorry for someone who???s career has fallen so far so fast. Less than 10 years ago, she was widely regarded as this generation???s equivalent of Stevie Wonder. Nowadays she???s obviously got more in common with the old, cracked out Sly Stone, except for the fact that Sly Stone was once genuinely talented.
On the other hand, fuck Lauryn Hill. If she didn???t have such a ridonkulous ego in the first, it???s likely she never would???ve arrived at such a sad state of affairs.
I???ll admit, sometimes my misogyny gets the best of me. It???s not so much that I hate women, it???s just that I love women so much that I want them to be the best they can possibly be, and sometimes my love clouds my better judgment. Nhjic.
Case in point, when I heard, back when I was in college, that the guys who really produced Lauryn Hill???s The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill were suing her because she was trying to take credit for a whole buncha shit she didn???t do and because she???s an insane beeyotch who???s not nearly as talented as she???d have you believe, I just took it for granted that this was true.
Obviously I wasn???t at a vantage point during the album???s recording to know one way or the other, but I just assumed that it was, since, let???s face it, I???m a bigot like it. The idea that someone like Lauryn Hill would be a fraud just sounded right, especially when you consider that the only really good albums by women (Live Through This by Hole and Hard Core by Lil??? Kim) were secretly written by men.[/b]
As is the case more often than not, I turned out to be right anyway. Without male collaborators such as Wyclef and the rest of the smelly Haitians who worked on the Score[/b], and whoever it was who really wrote and produced the Miseducation, the best she could come up with was that garbage she was kicking that time she was on MTV Unplugged. What???s more, she could hardly sing, since she had obviously burned her vocal chords from smoking too much crack.[/b]
I???d be lying if I said I spent very much time wondering what she was up to these past five years or so, but, since you mention it, I???m assuming she???s been holed up in her home with which ever one of those worthless Marley spawn she???s married to and their smelly kids, smoking crack[/b] and trying to will herself into becoming a great songwriter the same way Neil Young beat epilepsy. (My bad for even having to drag Neil Young into this.)
If ???Lose Myself,??? her new single from the soundtrack to some Disney movie which was intended to be her big comeback hit of the summer, is any indication of the level of progress she???s made, she might want to take another five or ten years off. Why? Because the shit isn???t any good, that???s why.
However, that hasn???t stopped from going on a small comeback tour of places where there???s still enough saps willing to drop $80 to watch a washed up Lauryn Hill. So far, I know it???s been to Oakland, California and London, England, and it should be hitting NY in a little bit. If the first few dates are any indication of what you ???bags in NY have to look forward to, you could be in for the worst concert evar.
Take for example this report of a gig she played in England the other day.
The singer played at the Birmingham Academy last night (July 9) and turned up on stage two hours late at 10.30pm. Some fans had already left before she turned up.
Once onstage, fans have described her as looking ???wasted??? and ???cracked out???, with one saying that it was ???the worst gig of my life.???
Yikes!
On the one hand, you can???t help but feel sorry for someone who???s career has fallen so far so fast. Less than 10 years ago, she was widely regarded as this generation???s equivalent of Stevie Wonder. Nowadays she???s obviously got more in common with the old, cracked out Sly Stone, except for the fact that Sly Stone was once genuinely talented.
On the other hand, fuck Lauryn Hill. If she didn???t have such a ridonkulous ego in the first, it???s likely she never would???ve arrived at such a sad state of affairs.
what's sad is that dude omits the strongest argument for Lauryn Hill's worthlessness -- that the entirety of her Miseducation album was created by an uncredited James Poyser -- and instead resorts to a tepid racist rant against her.
all the people who are offended by what he writes are complete idiots. i don't agree with everything what he says, but at least he's entertaining and a good writer.
Comments
I see this as a recurring column in which you Swiss cheese up somebody for being a carpetbaguette and then end each one with, "So, [carpetbagger], what do you keep in that carpetbag anyway?" on some drop-the-mic-and-strike-the-Heisman-pose shit.
Yes: it's called SoulStrut
My prediction, Noz, is that one day when you reach a certain age, you will appreciate Idlewild...or at least appreciate Outkast's drive to do it.
Even though you may now sincerely hate Idlewild with a passion, Bol you are not...and for good reason.
Haven't you dismissed the entire Dungeon Family catalog as "not sufficently southern"? If so, your opinion holds on weight.
Faux you are not as well...for good reason.
But you are dodging the question.
And you are taking half-jokes as literal.
Half-jokes or half-truths?
Half-empty or half-full?
Cocaine blunts is that ish & Noz is that dude.
Yes, he's obviously some sort a genius
I said this yesterday without really realizing how often he references the "shit sandwich".
I'm telling you...he's tried one.
I think, technically speaking, that's a turd dog, not a shit sandwich. But the principle still holds.
Dude don't need no bread.
billy sunday = worst hip-hop journalist EVER[/b]
what's sad is that dude omits the strongest argument for Lauryn Hill's worthlessness -- that the entirety of her Miseducation album was created by an uncredited James Poyser -- and instead resorts to a tepid racist rant against her.
jay smooth's video blog is great too.