Do I ever talk to my exes? Depends on that particular ex. There are some I'm still on good terms with, others who are more patronizing and shady.
But if I still find myself attracted to her, there's no way in hell I'm going to her wedding without bringing a date...like David Ruffin once sang, I'm a man and I got my pride...
sometimes it takes awhile to get to a place where you can be friends, but if you felt strongly enough about this person to share your life with them for a period, why wouldn't you want to give being friends a try?
because they don't wanna deal with seeing their ex with somebody else
It's just weird running into someone you have that much history with and pretend like ya'll aren't in the same room together.
I once had to spun at a party for one of my best freinds, and the ex-who-I-dont-speak-to showed up with the guy she left me for. 3 of the most uncomfortable hours of my life. And yes, we did walk past each other several times without acknowledging the other's presence. I was so thankful I had something to concentrate on besides wanting to smash bottles over peoples heads...
It's just weird running into someone you have that much history with and pretend like ya'll aren't in the same room together.
I once had to spun at a party for one of my best freinds, and the ex-who-I-dont-speak-to showed up with the guy she left me for. 3 of the most uncomfortable hours of my life. And yes, we did walk past each other several times without acknowledging the other's presence. I was so thankful I had something to concentrate on besides wanting to smash bottles over peoples heads...
I just don't see the point when you have realised you are not the ones for each other. Move on and stop wasting each other's time. There is no further value to be had. Just wish each other a happy life, if possible, and walk away with better knowledge of what you DON'T want.
Plus it gives the little head less to think about.
Now how should one feel if for instance, the person you are dating talks to their ex all the time.
This really irked me about my current relationship for the longest time,
they have a kid together, so it's understandable I guess[/b]. I found it really tricky though because I'm definitely a "burn all bridges" kinda guy & have a tough time seeing it any other way.
Yeah man, I mean...it's one thing if they went out in high school and still talk every night. But if there's a child involved...different rules apply!
I once had to spun at a party for one of my best freinds, and the ex-who-I-dont-speak-to showed up with the guy she left me for. 3 of the most uncomfortable hours of my life. And yes, we did walk past each other several times without acknowledging the other's presence. I was so thankful I had something to concentrate on besides wanting to smash bottles over peoples heads...
Jesus christ dude, i had exactly[/b] the same thing happen to me.
Feeling like you been punched in the gut for 3 hours straight is the lowest.
Although i did manage to his bitchass best friend into leaving the place.
I just don't see the point when you have realised you are not the ones for each other. Move on and stop wasting each other's time. There is no further value to be had. Just wish each other a happy life, if possible, and walk away with better knowledge of what you DON'T want. Plus it gives the little head less to think about.
I can see that. But is every X an automatic enemy? I dont suggest trying/over doing it, to stay friends, but if no one is extremely hurt or ego bruised, why cant the lines of communications stay open. Being st8 cutthroat isnt always the healthiest way to disengage. IMO.
Talking to your ex is a waste of time, unless you have a kid together just cut the ties & move on. Obviously they don't want you or you don't want them so just leave it at that, easy for everyone.
If you were always friends why should that be negated once the romance/relationship breaks down. If it didnt end on a sour note or some ole grimy shit, I have no problem simply talking to that person. Do U,I do me. Some cats(for good reason) like to erase people. What ever soothes your ego.
Agreed--sometimes it takes awhile to get to a place where you can be friends, but if you felt strongly enough about this person to share your life with them for a period, why wouldn't you want to give being friends a try?
maybe its just me, but I feel when you begin to see someone there is a lot of mystery and its pretty exciting, as time goes by a lot of those unknowns are revealed and if they aren't what you expected or hoped for you find yourself less and less into that person. Eventually a breaking point may be reached and at that point the romantic part of a relationship may be over and with that all you have left is the person, once again, if they aren't who you thought they were why bother being friends.
Talking to your ex is a waste of time, unless you have a kid together just cut the ties & move on. Obviously they don't want you or you don't want them so just leave it at that, easy for everyone.
If you were always friends why should that be negated once the romance/relationship breaks down. If it didnt end on a sour note or some ole grimy shit, I have no problem simply talking to that person. Do U,I do me. Some cats(for good reason) like to erase people. What ever soothes your ego.
Agreed--sometimes it takes awhile to get to a place where you can be friends, but if you felt strongly enough about this person to share your life with them for a period, why wouldn't you want to give being friends a try?
maybe its just me, but I feel when you begin to see someone there is a lot of mystery and its pretty exciting, as time goes by a lot of those unknowns are revealed and if they aren't what you expected or hoped for you find yourself less and less into that person. Eventually a breaking point may be reached and at that point the romantic part of a relationship may be over and with that all you have left is the person, once again, if they aren't who you thought they were why bother being friends.
At best y'all can still be cordial
I think that makes very good sense.
Being cordial with your ex is a good look, just for the sake of civility.
same here. Some of my closest friends are my exes or their family members - one of my exes's dad is mad cool and I visit him every time I'm in the Yay Area. He's got a crazy dumb house on a plateau overlooking mendicino Valley and it's just an awesome way to wake up.
Talking to your ex is a waste of time, unless you have a kid together just cut the ties & move on. Obviously they don't want you or you don't want them so just leave it at that, easy for everyone.
If you were always friends why should that be negated once the romance/relationship breaks down. If it didnt end on a sour note or some ole grimy shit, I have no problem simply talking to that person. Do U,I do me. Some cats(for good reason) like to erase people. What ever soothes your ego.
Agreed--sometimes it takes awhile to get to a place where you can be friends, but if you felt strongly enough about this person to share your life with them for a period, why wouldn't you want to give being friends a try?
maybe its just me, but I feel when you begin to see someone there is a lot of mystery and its pretty exciting, as time goes by a lot of those unknowns are revealed and if they aren't what you expected or hoped for you find yourself less and less into that person. Eventually a breaking point may be reached and at that point the romantic part of a relationship may be over and with that all you have left is the person, once again, if they aren't who you thought they were why bother being friends.
At best y'all can still be cordial
Well, that sounds like more of a casual/dating type of relationship to me... hopefully you make these various discoveries before too much time passes or you grow too committed. I'm definitely not saying that there's any real reason to make an effort to be friends with someone you briefly dated but who turned out to be someone you didn't like very much. I'm talking about someone that you really liked, made an effort to commit to, but for whatever reason discovered that you couldn't/shouldn't be together.
Being cordial with your ex is a good look, just for the sake of civility.
You don't have to make them your BFFs.
not only that...but if you play your cards right you can get free records too.
my ex, who i only speak with a few times each year works at Sub-Pop records in Seattle. Although i think we still have some admiration for each other, i am sure we are both content with chalking up our relationship to a collegiate affair that ran its course.
but keeping on her good side has allowed for the random free record/show.
i will also likely see her during sxsw, and i know it will be to the cool, because we do have respect for each other and the paths the other has taken since our break-up.
HarveyCanal"a distraction from my main thesis." 13,234 Posts
I started dating later than most people. I was really socially inept as a young kid, high schooler and even a little while afterwards. I guess that's what you get being much more interested in book smarts than kicking back, having a good time and getting laid. Oh well, I was a nerd. I still am to some extent. When I look back at the girls I went out with, it's crazy to think about how much I have changed in the past few years. I would get with any immature, low-self esteem having, unattractive brat that would give me the time of day. I'm a short guy myself so I think I was way too generous on some pity tip. I wouldn't envision speaking to any of them now partially because I think they haven't grown up themselves and partially because I am embarassed by who I was back then. The closest instance of an ex who I would never speak to under any circumstances would be my last one, a year and a half ago. She broke up with me because we both took things way to fast for a healthy relationship to form. OK, fair enough. No more than a week, she started to kick it with other guys. Unfortunately, her idea of me being a "friend" was just a go-to guy to drive her places, be a sounding board for whatever drama was going on in her life (such as being made by her parents to wash dishes....oh, the horror!) and inform me about which sleazy, poser Myspace guys she was screwing at the time. The last straw was when she hooked up with some guy my age with a violent, drinking problem. Dude looked like he would've gladly shoved a steak knife in my neck for me still being "friends" with her. I got teary phone calls at work, really early in the morning or on sleepy weekends whenever they got into a scuffle or a situation where she thought she caught an STD or pregnancy (it's a horrible look when an equally young and equally sexually experienced outside party has to educate a couple on how their own bodies work. Dumbshits.) Needless to say, they broke up. She now was ready to get back into a relationship with me. I just said "fuck this" and cut all communication. The phone calls to my office continued and I just called her parents, informing them what she was up to and what she was all about. Never heard from her since. The good thing is that it could've been a lot worse. It was a much needed wake up. It certainly gave me a backbone and confidence. So with all that I know now, I would talk to an ex, providing that everything was mutual and she's of sound mind. I would still keep all encounters between the ex and the new girl at a minimum, especially if my ex is dateless at the time.
Just wondering if any of you have had run-ins when the new dude steps into the picture?
I had an ex whose new girlfriend was certifiably crazy...We were all at the same club and she deliberately poured a beer onto a $400 coat I just bought (I didn't pay that much for it, of course). Little did she know, she was fucking with the wrong chick; as soon as I discovered the "accident," I promptly marched over to the dancefloor, grabbed her by the ponytail and pulled her to the ground flat on her back. Then I started kicking her and it got really messy, with my ex making a half-assed effort to "break it up." Needless to say, we both got kicked out, but let's just state for the record that I sure as hell wasn't going out like Kenneth Eng.
Just wondering if any of you have had run-ins when the new dude steps into the picture?
I had an ex whose new girlfriend was certifiably crazy...We were all at the same club and she deliberately poured a beer onto a $400 coat I just bought (I didn't pay that much for it, of course). Little did she know, she was fucking with the wrong chick; as soon as I discovered the "accident," I promptly marched over to the dancefloor, grabbed her by the ponytail and pulled her to the ground flat on her back. Then I started kicking her and it got really messy, with my ex making a half-assed effort to "break it up." Needless to say, we both got kicked out, but let's just state for the record that I sure as hell wasn't going out like Kenneth Eng.
I was told by an ex (years after the fact) that she caught a beating from her then-boyfriend because I had showed up at a party one of their friend's was hosting. I knew both the dude hosting the party and my ex's boyfriend from around the music scene, and did not know he had any beef with me at all. Thank God she left that guy soon after, it sounds like it was quite an abusive situation. Other than that, no other weirdness from the new guys.
just went to happy hour with my latest ex last week. we broke up on very mutual terms and we were looking forward to some, uh... after break up "dating" but she found someone new really quickly. damnit. the ex before her can go to hell. but i have another ex that i still talk to. trying to un-ex this gal i was dating for a little while. she stopped it because she was getting too serious. what the eff is that all about?
just went to happy hour with my latest ex last week. we broke up on very mutual terms and we were looking forward to some, uh... after break up "dating" but she found someone new really quickly. damnit. the ex before her can go to hell. but i have another ex that i still talk to. trying to un-ex this gal i was dating for a little while. she stopped it because she was getting too serious. what the eff is that all about?
I think it depends on how old you are, how much experience you have dating, etc.
I was almost married, but then realized I could do better and that I didnt have enough experience with dating. I am really happy about that for sure. He was a nice guy, but he too loved trying to get back with ex's all the time. I'm actually friends with some of them now. Cheesey I know.
Take yourself out and enjoy life. As far as we really know, we only live once!!
Just wondering if any of you have had run-ins when the new dude steps into the picture?
I had an ex whose new girlfriend was certifiably crazy...We were all at the same club and she deliberately poured a beer onto a $400 coat I just bought (I didn't pay that much for it, of course). Little did she know, she was fucking with the wrong chick; as soon as I discovered the "accident," I promptly marched over to the dancefloor, grabbed her by the ponytail and pulled her to the ground flat on her back. Then I started kicking her and it got really messy, with my ex making a half-assed effort to "break it up." Needless to say, we both got kicked out, but let's just state for the record that I sure as hell wasn't going out like Kenneth Eng.
Just wondering if any of you have had run-ins when the new dude steps into the picture?
I had an ex whose new girlfriend was certifiably crazy...We were all at the same club and she deliberately poured a beer onto a $400 coat I just bought (I didn't pay that much for it, of course).[/b]
Little did she know, she was fucking with the wrong chick; as soon as I discovered the "accident," I promptly marched over to the dancefloor, grabbed her by the ponytail and pulled her to the ground flat on her back. Then I started kicking her and it got really messy, with my ex making a half-assed effort to "break it up." Needless to say, we both got kicked out, but let's just state for the record that I sure as hell wasn't going out like Kenneth Eng.
Im still friends with a couple exes...I am sure and the hell not friends with the one who borrowed $2,600 from me 2 weeks before she ended up moving out and never paid me back...
Just wondering if any of you have had run-ins when the new dude steps into the picture? I had an ex whose new girlfriend was certifiably crazy...We were all at the same club and she deliberately poured a beer onto a $400 coat I just bought (I didn't pay that much for it, of course). Little did she know, she was fucking with the wrong chick; as soon as I discovered the "accident," I promptly marched over to the dancefloor, grabbed her by the ponytail and pulled her to the ground flat on her back. Then I started kicking her and it got really messy, with my ex making a half-assed effort to "break it up." Needless to say, we both got kicked out, but let's just state for the record that I sure as hell wasn't going out like Kenneth Eng.
Im still friends with a couple exes...I am sure and the hell not friends with the one who borrowed $2,600 from me 2 weeks before she ended up moving out and never paid me back...
Comments
But if I still find myself attracted to her, there's no way in hell I'm going to her wedding without bringing a date...like David Ruffin once sang, I'm a man and I got my pride...
because they don't wanna deal with seeing their ex with somebody else
I once had to spun at a party for one of my best freinds, and the ex-who-I-dont-speak-to showed up with the guy she left me for. 3 of the most uncomfortable hours of my life. And yes, we did walk past each other several times without acknowledging the other's presence. I was so thankful I had something to concentrate on besides wanting to smash bottles over peoples heads...
Plus it gives the little head less to think about.
Real Talk???
not always. I'm learning that the hard way
Jesus christ dude, i had exactly[/b] the same thing happen to me.
Feeling like you been punched in the gut for 3 hours straight is the lowest.
Although i did manage to
keep your head up fella, by the way: Jewbacca is the best thing ive seen in a loooong while.
I can see that. But is every X an automatic enemy? I dont suggest trying/over doing it, to stay friends, but if no one is extremely hurt or ego bruised, why cant the lines of communications stay open. Being st8 cutthroat isnt always the healthiest way to disengage. IMO.
maybe its just me, but I feel when you begin to see someone there is a lot of mystery and its pretty exciting, as time goes by a lot of those unknowns are revealed and if they aren't what you expected or hoped for you find yourself less and less into that person. Eventually a breaking point may be reached and at that point the romantic part of a relationship may be over and with that all you have left is the person, once again, if they aren't who you thought they were why bother being friends.
At best y'all can still be cordial
I think that makes very good sense.
Being cordial with your ex is a good look, just for the sake of civility.
You don't have to make them your BFFs.
same here. Some of my closest friends are my exes or their family members - one of my exes's dad is mad cool and I visit him every time I'm in the Yay Area. He's got a crazy dumb house on a plateau overlooking mendicino Valley and it's just an awesome way to wake up.
Well, that sounds like more of a casual/dating type of relationship to me... hopefully you make these various discoveries before too much time passes or you grow too committed. I'm definitely not saying that there's any real reason to make an effort to be friends with someone you briefly dated but who turned out to be someone you didn't like very much. I'm talking about someone that you really liked, made an effort to commit to, but for whatever reason discovered that you couldn't/shouldn't be together.
not only that...but if you play your cards right you can get free records too.
my ex, who i only speak with a few times each year works at Sub-Pop records in Seattle. Although i think we still have some admiration for each other, i am sure we are both content with chalking up our relationship to a collegiate affair that ran its course.
but keeping on her good side has allowed for the random free record/show.
i will also likely see her during sxsw, and i know it will be to the cool, because we do have respect for each other and the paths the other has taken since our break-up.
I had an ex whose new girlfriend was certifiably crazy...We were all at the same club and she deliberately poured a beer onto a $400 coat I just bought (I didn't pay that much for it, of course). Little did she know, she was fucking with the wrong chick; as soon as I discovered the "accident," I promptly marched over to the dancefloor, grabbed her by the ponytail and pulled her to the ground flat on her back. Then I started kicking her and it got really messy, with my ex making a half-assed effort to "break it up." Needless to say, we both got kicked out, but let's just state for the record that I sure as hell wasn't going out like Kenneth Eng.
Daymn!
I was told by an ex (years after the fact) that she caught a beating from her then-boyfriend because I had showed up at a party one of their friend's was hosting. I knew both the dude hosting the party and my ex's boyfriend from around the music scene, and did not know he had any beef with me at all. Thank God she left that guy soon after, it sounds like it was quite an abusive situation. Other than that, no other weirdness from the new guys.
i feel you bro...even though i try to man up and move on, sometimes its nice just to have somebody close you can talk to.
I think it depends on how old you are, how much experience you have dating, etc.
I was almost married, but then realized I could do better and that I didnt have enough experience with dating. I am really happy about that for sure. He was a nice guy, but he too loved trying to get back with ex's all the time. I'm actually friends with some of them now. Cheesey I know.
Take yourself out and enjoy life. As far as we really know, we only live once!!
how did I pass this one up!?
Go girl!
ouch!