When Buying Collections, Sayings That Turn U Into
The_Non
5,691 Posts
...Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons. One of my favorites is "I got a buncha old record albums, maybe 50 of em. Most of them have their original covers." I'm always polite and respectful to people,and I know people are just trying to pump up the stuff they got, but that statement just makes me wanna bust out a Comic Book Guy quip like "OOOH, whoopty doo, you managed not to take all your records out of their jackets, throw away those pesky "art covers" and place them all in plain white sleeves. Thank you so very very much for preserving your precious artifacts Indiana Jones!" I need some stories, ready, go! 
Comments
Most of the time they just flaunt that they have beatles records "in their original jackets" and mention it over and over despite my telling them I'm not really into beatles records.
I just wanna scream "FUCK THE BEATLES!!!"
OR
They're like "I got a huge collection, I've been buying records for 30 years" and I say "About how many? Just a guess?" they say "Umm, welll, it's really hard to count them all" and I say "Just a guess. 500? 1,000?" and they reply "Oh no, more like 20 or 30 records".
I just wanna scream "In 30 years you've bought 30 records? That's not a collection!"
But I don't, I try to be professional. At least to their face.
There, I feel better now.
SONIC
My favourite shit is someone starts telling me "oh, I have some CLASSIC[/b] album", and proceeds on some tangent to the effect that they must be worth some dough, meanwhile its Styx, Rush, etc. Condition is always funny shit, too. 50% of people you ask about condition will state "well, they look good... I mean, they are used records", and then you come check em out and half are skated...
A more telling story would be of the shit other buyers do to try to beat you to a record site............
LOL
I agree it is funny for the most part when I go out to look at a collection I expect the worst... if someone says 100 records I think 20, if they say 1,000 I think 150....
...and they're all on Peter Pan.
"I have lots of these 70's and 80's records but my cat clawed the spines of all of em. I think theres some Anne Murray and Journey records in there even. How much do you think they are worth?"
I have this message saved on the answering machine, a guy who leaves this 1.5 minute long message asking how much "Dean Martin with the Longines Symphony Orchestra" is worth.
I hope the inner comic book guy never comes out though.. I try to keep it in.
As a buyer I always appreciate the guarantee "If it doesn't play, you can bring it back".
Uh, thanks.
worrrrrrrrrrrrd. everybody seems to think that the world is nuts over Beatles still!! Fuck the Beatles. And the Stones..as a mater of fact, fuck all white boy blues ripoff bands. EXCEPT Mayall. That's my nygga.
"thinking of my woman....sitting in my hooooooootel room!"
this thread is gold.
f***ing people wouldn't sell me one james brown record! "james brown, he just died, he's worth a LOT of money!". my answer is always this: the beatles, elvis, and michael jackson sold a lot of records, SOME of them may be worth money. just because you saw a record on e bay doesn't mean your records are worth a lot of money. shit, i fight with dealers, flea market vendors, and everyone else when i buy. people think their sh** is worth WAY more than it is. i'm a grumpy old man, and i'm proud of it.
It's such retarded logic. James Brown's death has an impact on his ability to make further recordings; it has no impact whatsoever on the availibility of recordings he made 35 years ago.
1. Don't you know what these sell for on Ebay?!?!
2. Give me two bucks a piece and you can have 'em all...
3. You're too young to even remember these...
4. They're all in good condition...they just need to be cleaned!
And after passing because of poor condition...
5. Is there a machine that can refurbish these?
I stay polite but every once in awhile I do tell people straight up that they have delusions of grandeur.
It did, however, affect sales of his catalog - mainly on
CD, but even used vinyl was in demand on December 26th -
one local spot I know sold out of 20 JB Cds and every LP
within the week.
A variant I hear that drives me mad is "Make me an offer on all of 'em!" If I've been out all day already, I just want to say "NO dude, you make me an offer on dragging these shitty boxes of First Family and Andre Kostelanetz LPs out of this rusted over, oil-stained, tetanus trap you call a garage."
Oh seriously? The Beatles? Really? Holy shit! I mean, wow, it's not every day I run into someone with VG- copies of some of the most popular albums of ALL TIME. And, hey, that isn't...no, surely my eyes are deceiving me, that couldn't possibly b- OH MY GOD IT IS!! Fuck me!! Get me Sotheby's on the phone this instant, I am standing in the presence of an ORIGINAL COPY OF THRILLER!!!!!
I was dealing with a younger guy yesterday who kept referring to 45s as 44s and, alternately, as 40-40s. The 45 collection turned out to be two or three 80s pop 45s sprinkled into a moldy suitcase full of late 70's soul and disco commons that he had inherited. Being the clever salesman, he kept trying to tell me I could just take all of them for $40 or $50. Umm, how about none of them for nothing?
All was not lost however. His next door neighbor, who I met on the way out, turned out to have Boola Boola heatery.
Concerning a scratched benny goodman record... "Do you know what this is??! This is PRE-WAR JAZZ and it's FOURTY YEARS OUT OFF PRINT!"
He was really trying to sell us on these. There is one record clean enough and hopefully good enough to flip, Ella Sings some guy's song book on Verve. I really want to offer $2, but I think I might send him over the edge if I say $2, probably better just to say pass, but I offer $3 for it.
He finally craters and drops the hard sale and switches to desperation mode, "You mean you won't just take the whole stack for $10??! Come on!".
I say no sorry, can't do it. I say if you want though you can keep the Ella and try and get $10 somewhere, that's cool with me.
He says, "Just give me the $3".
But it gets better, a customer overhears and says "Hey man lemme look I might want to buy that stack for $10" (he heard the meaty sales pitch, but didn't see the records). I think you'd have to call that poaching. Who hasn't tried to poach some records from a person trying to sell to a store?
Part of me wants the kid to buy 'em because then it's a win/win/win but part of me wants him to not buy them just so the guy knows we weren't idiots for passing up his pre-war jazz records. The kid looks at the stack for about 5 seconds and says, "Sorry, I'm not interested in these records".
Dude was pissed, but whatdayagonnado??
I'm eagerly awaiting his impactful 2008, further, album.
^^^THA GAME DONE CHANGED
"These records are in perfect condiiton, no scratches"
"You flipped through them too fast, go back through them, you didn't see them all"
"Im gonna hold on to this Temptations, unless you give me enough money for it"