Turntable at work Instant Messanger Soul Strut 4:30 Text Twist at Yahoo Games 3 PM Post Office run (for work related mailings, of course ) eBay!!!!! when my auctions are running re:fresh productions like K from Canada. Oh and running the old esearch and entering item numbers in auctionsniper
Gotta be, I couldn't let booty mess up my money. Look but don't touch. I remember back in the day (when I was single, mind you) I had to interview a really attractive Hispanic clerical employee for a consulting client (in New York) I was working for. I had to focus on the task at hand, instead of being swept away by her big brown eyes, smooth honey-brown skin, large breasteses, and long, pretty legs. Hardest interview (no pun intended) that I ever conducted. I'm human, Faux, but I try to reign it in at work, you know?[/b]
I personally am a silly person as you well know so I like to make fun of people in a cool way... I like when people ask me questions about the job, I just look at them and make jokes and they say "F@ck You Ray... how does your mother deal with you?" really I just try to get them to think for themselves... I like to take care of all types of personal business on the job...
The most important advice you need is to not let your pass the time things get to be the reason why you come to work or you will soon be doing your personal things at your personal apartment. I know your smarter than that but I'm not... I have screwed up a couple good gigs by thinking that things were so sweet that they should be glad that I even came... I was wrong...
I used to work at Circuit City we used to try to do as many disgusting things to the demo remotes as possible. Boogers farts you name it ...Just a heads up to all the strutters
oooh, I feel like that's a big no-no. ALWAYS separate business and pleasure, yahm? 'Cause in a work situation you're gonna be seeing that person around whether or not you choose to. So I guess its more like all or nothing. Full on relationship or purely platonics. 'Cause a casual hook up thing is always gonna end up bad in the workplace.
And I do really enjoy emailing back and forth with my girl most of the day. Another thing that makes the day go easier.
One sees girls they've slept with around town all the time, at least in most cities. As long as both parties acknowledge the fleeting nature of the hook-up, then it is what it is. You don't have to act like you're gonna get married or best friends or some shit
Now I would advise not to sleep with a boss/supervisor. That can get messy!
Well, unless I'm trying to convince some new girl to sleep with me. Then, yeah, I'm telling her to "sleep with a boss"
his thing was too short and some chick with an overbite caused an accident?
This is one of the few things ever written on here that made me "laugh out loud".
I have no advice on how to get through your workday though, sorry Drewn.
I get through mine by talking to myself, making prank phone calls from random phone lines that i have access too, tanning, playing catch, visiting my partner Quiet Steve in whatever yard he's working in and talking his ear off b/c I know it annoys him, making phone calls, sending pictures to Daze, gambling, reading a couple newspapers, lifting weights, beatboxing over the walkietalkie, visiting my girls at three different Starbucks, stretching.
Learn these terms for going to the bathroom, and rotate them: "I gotta go... -drop a deuce -take the Cosby kids to their swimming lesson (a remix of the classic 'drop the kids at the pool') -call Shoshanna -feed the gator/fish/chipmunks -test the plumbing -finish dinner -marinate some steaks -think
I hate work but am glad I gotta job. Its the fucking longest 8+ hours you could imagine.
Things I do to pass time:
Come in late. Lucky if I am here before 11:30. Take long lunches. 2 hours on average. Drink mad green tea. Listen to MP3 mixes. Edit shit in Soundforge. Bring magazines to read. Listen to Satellite radio. Chat (sometimes, I don't have patience). Look at SoulStrut, Digi & TapeOp boards. Burn CD's Trick people into sending me records. Search Craigslist for escorts, ok, just kidding, look for used gear. Go outside & chirp the homies on the nextel. Meditate. Think of shit to do when I get home.
Just added: I am now starting some online classes so I can earn my degree, that oughtta help me kill time & get me a Bachelors + a paycheck! also... Setup VPN to my home PC so I can now edit audio shit at home from work & even look at pr0n undetected!
How to look like I am busy while passing this time:
Scatter mad shit around my desk/cube & leave books open to create an illusion. Call POPCORN (time) and pretend I am on an important call. Keep getting up to stare at equipment & pretend I am fixing something. Create a non-existent problem, then solve it. Print useless shit & walk to printer about 5-7 times per day. Push everything towards end of day (4:30/5:00 is good time to respond). Stretch all projects by at least 5's (i.e. 5min projects = 25 minutes). Send emails from home/vpn at odd hours.
Fuck yo, the list goes on & on. I was not born to work. But hey! when I do, i am damn good at it!
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
I hate work but am glad I gotta job.
Its the fucking longest 8+ hours you could imagine.
Things I do to pass time:
Come in late. Lucky if I am here before 11:30.
Take long lunches. 2 hours on average.
Drink mad green tea.
Listen to MP3 mixes.
Edit shit in Soundforge.
Bring magazines to read.
Listen to Satellite radio.
Chat (sometimes, I don't have patience).
Look at SoulStrut, Digi & TapeOp boards.
Burn CD's
Trick people into sending me records.
Search Craigslist for escorts, ok, just kidding, look for used gear.
Go outside & chirp the homies on the nextel.
Meditate.
Think of shit to do when I get home.
Just added:
I am now starting some online classes so I can earn my degree, that oughtta help me kill time & get me a Bachelors + a paycheck!
also...
Setup VPN to my home PC so I can now edit audio shit at home from work & even look at pr0n undetected!
How to look like I am busy while passing this time:
Scatter mad shit around my desk/cube & leave books open to create an illusion.
Call POPCORN (time) and pretend I am on an important call.
Keep getting up to stare at equipment & pretend I am fixing something.
Create a non-existent problem, then solve it.
Print useless shit & walk to printer about 5-7 times per day.
Push everything towards end of day (4:30/5:00 is good time to respond).
Stretch all projects by at least 5's (i.e. 5min projects = 25 minutes).
Send emails from home/vpn at odd hours.
Fuck yo, the list goes on & on.
I was not born to work. But hey! when I do, i am damn good at it!
Damn, no wonder American firms outsource work to foreign countries. There's nothing like paying top dollar for that strong U.S. Protestant work ethic. Also, could this be why foreign national employees (who work their asses off, by the way) are running circles around our workforce? Geez!!!!
Hey don't knock my 9-5 hustle... no one here is complaining! hahaha... Ok, it's not like that every day & some of that is said in jest.
In all honesty I do most my work after hours anyways (think "IT work"). I can do my job %100 from home & really come in as a formality.
Truthfully it's because I am good at what I do. My shit is rock solid & I get zero complaints. You'll find in many tech companies a very lax work environment & yeah it's like that where I am at.
On the other hand they'll outsource regardless of what we do or don't do. The people makin those decisions don't even see us pee-ons. Been there done that. They can outsource robots & button pushers but can't outsource sharp minds.
;-)
Big_Stacks"I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
Hey don't knock my 9-5 hustle... no one here is complaining! hahaha... Ok, it's not like that every day & some of that is said in jest.
In all honesty I do most my work after hours anyways (think "IT work"). I can do my job %100 from home & really come in as a formality.
Truthfully it's because I am good at what I do. My shit is rock solid & I get zero complaints. You'll find in many tech companies a very lax work environment & yeah it's like that where I am at.
On the other hand they'll outsource regardless of what we do or don't do. The people makin those decisions don't even see us pee-ons. Been there done that. They can outsource robots & button pushers but can't outsource sharp minds.
;-)
Phew!!!! I'm glad to read that some of what you said was in jest. Then again, there were several posts where it seemed like some are paid to not do very much. It's part of my nature, because of how I was raised, to work hard for the check even though I'm an academic with a very open schedule. I'm quite critical of dead-wood faculty that do just enough work to get tenure, and then they fail to do anything of consequence for the rest of their careers. Slack-ass work ethic is sort of a pet-peeve of mine, that's all, and it's running rampant among younger cohorts (in my opinion). As Marx stated, "Excess breeds apathy".
I know you're in a relationship and everything, but thought I'd offer this one for the rest of y'all: one thing I was feeling when I was younger was workplace romances... put a little spring in your step and some excitement in your day.
Hey Faux,
I wouldn't advise this at the professional level, as it could result in serious career and/or relationship backlash. Business never personal...
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
Guys, don't be so uptight.
Be VERY careful with those workplace romances, be you single or married, be they serious romances or just flings. I know this lady who got into a little fling with a dude at the office after he broke up with the mother of his kids (who also worked in this office, I think in a different section, though). Anyway, they have this fling, then the dude decides to go back to his baby mama. Just a few days later, guess what she finds out-
For those who don't recognize the pic, she is preggers with dude's baby. And of course dude is like "it ain't mines!" So now she is stuck in this office with her expanding belly having to work everyday with the dude who knocked her up and denies it AND his baby mama! Finally she just had to quit and find another job, which is obviously not a good look when you are expecting to drop in a couple of months.
That's just one crazy sitcom-like scenario, but shizz happens. My rule has always been to never mix biz with pleasure- I can't speak for errbody, but that rule has always worked for me.
I met my wife at my job and she had to deal with mad evil eyes because I had a buddy or two at the job... then they was talking trash like "He slept with so many girls in here... every time you see him he talking to some girl..." totally not true, well mostly not true, but they made it hard on her but she brawled through that... office trists don't always go bad, most people I know met thier spouse at work... it is a gamble though.
Invasion of the flat booty[/b] and some chick with an overbite caused an accident
But you're not harboring any jealousy.
Absolutely not! My booty ain't flat.
"Bam likes his asses phat not flat. Big Bam is livin' phat, are you gentle, or do you like to get your ass smacked?..."
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
aahh, you been listenin to that too?
"down with DITC, thats digging in them cakes
"im a top notch cake digger , use my tool as a trigger
"we can bone in my closet thats my logic but not everyday cause im working on my projects
"dang yall look like triplets
love that shit
try this game...it fuckin rules
ONE POINT DARES
Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears.
When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!"
Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."
Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
THREE POINT DARES
Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.
Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it."
Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).
FIVE POINT DARES
For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."
After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon." Keep this up for one hour.
While an officemate is out, move their chair into the elevator.
In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn t, all of you just shut up!"
At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."
Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?"
Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it."
Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit, smash each biscuit with your fist.
During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
DAZE... you had me laughing my ass off.youre killing shit right now man. this should be its own thread. anyone got anymore?
how about walking through metal detectors with an axe while wearing flipflops
making a covert ganja stew for a staff meeting and forgetting to tell anybody
living on the office couch for a week
filling the office with old christmas tree branches
(my former coworker did all that shit last year...truly prolific individual)
Drewn if youre counting hours already........ second stacks....bring magazines,trade articles (if you want to step up your work game). if not, bring your own damn books and become an ill prolific reader. it will make you more on point regardless. nytimes crosswords can be worthwhile for the wordskills
Slack-ass work ethic is sort of a pet-peeve of mine, that's all, and it's running rampant among younger cohorts (in my opinion). As Marx stated, "Excess breeds apathy". Peace, Big Stacks from Kakalak
Newsflash: GM is cutting 25,000 jobs... I bet the bean counters stay.
One thing I know is no job is secure, your shit can be gone tomorrow. Job security is the bank account & making sure you have skills companies will pay for.
But who said work had to be miserable?
I used to let work run my life, now it's the opposite. Honestly I had enough of the sell-your-soul to the company for $$$ bullshit & took a job paying a bit less thats closer to home & LESS impactful on my life.
I can get up leave my cube, ride my bike home, get a blowjob, eat a meal, watch TV for a bit or listen to Rackords & be back in time for a status meeting. If thats slack, then I'm guilty yo!
Now for the record... My personal no-no's on the job: No drugs or alcohol AT work & no obvious illegal shit. I don't talk sex or race issues at work no matter how benign, I can't tell you how many times I seen people get fucked over for small shit in this category. I don't do pranks or make off-color jokes, that shit always escalates or gets taken the wrong way. I don't party with co-workers. And hell no, I would never bang a co-worker thats just plain ASKIN' for it!!! I've had a drink or 2, lunch & what not, but I maintain professional status. And far as my pr0n habit, I save it for after normal biz hours & only do it on a secret DSL line I ran to my cube, which doubles back via VPN to my home, where the pr0n acutally resides. Pimp that job but Play it safe folls !!!
god damn!!! that's some wild shit! she ever get a paternity test or something?
Oh yeah, she got the paternity test- he was definitely the baby daddy. He paid his court-appointed child support but never acknowledged the child in any other way. Ray, do you still work with your wife? And if so, does it ever get to the point where y'all just get tired of seeing each other all the time? 'Cause I'm gonna tell you, I'm really glad my wife is in the process of moving her business out of the crib. Love is love and all that, but I think some time away is actually one of the best things you can have in a relationship. Makes the heart grow fonder, as the saying goes.
I work part time (3 days a week 10am-5.30pm) but every two weeks in a month I have to work full time as I also work on a monthly magazine this then becomes hell and I don't have a minute to do anything else I work from around 9am-8pm straight literally no break sometimes, due to my own choice though.
I don't really get along that well with my boss (does anyone though) but something he did that almost made me like him was install World Of Warcraft so if I have nothing to do which can happen when I'm not doing the mag I get to play this, although I have not for ages as I have been busy.
Its funny what ya say Drewn about having lunch late it does make the day seem shorter cuz when you get back you are like well only a few more hours to go.
Also recently I have been playing alot of Mario and Luigi Allstars on the gba its tooo good.
I sometimes read a book. Currently reading 'The Broom Of The System' by David Foster Wallace.
I have always thought that I would like to extend my knowledge however, as I do feel I lack much history geography etc even science knowledge, anyone know any good sites that can get you up to speed a bit?
Sometimes I'm also in my office by myself for the whole day so I'm kinda lucky I get to do whatever I want really so I might start bringing in DVDs etc for a little something to do
Comments
lol!!!......give up the goods D****l
Turntable at work
Instant Messanger
Soul Strut
4:30 Text Twist at Yahoo Games
3 PM Post Office run (for work related mailings, of course
eBay!!!!! when my auctions are running re:fresh productions like K from Canada. Oh and running the old esearch and entering item numbers in auctionsniper
But you're not harboring any jealousy.
Absolutely not! My booty ain't flat.
The most important advice you need is to not let your pass the time things get to be the reason why you come to work or you will soon be doing your personal things at your personal apartment. I know your smarter than that but I'm not... I have screwed up a couple good gigs by thinking that things were so sweet that they should be glad that I even came... I was wrong...
I like Dazes dares...
One sees girls they've slept with around town all the time, at least in most cities. As long as both parties acknowledge the fleeting nature of the hook-up, then it is what it is. You don't have to act like you're gonna get married or best friends or some shit
Now I would advise not to sleep with a boss/supervisor. That can get messy!
Well, unless I'm trying to convince some new girl to sleep with me. Then, yeah, I'm telling her to
"sleep with a boss"
PASUE
some funny ass shit on here, but you might want to start reading it at the beginning of your shift wednesday.
This is one of the few things ever written on here that made me "laugh out loud".
I have no advice on how to get through your workday though, sorry Drewn.
I get through mine by talking to myself, making prank phone calls from random phone lines that i have access too, tanning, playing catch, visiting my partner Quiet Steve in whatever yard he's working in and talking his ear off b/c I know it annoys him, making phone calls, sending pictures to Daze, gambling, reading a couple newspapers, lifting weights, beatboxing over the walkietalkie, visiting my girls at three different Starbucks, stretching.
Learn these terms for going to the bathroom, and rotate them:
"I gotta go...
-drop a deuce
-take the Cosby kids to their swimming lesson (a remix of the classic 'drop the kids at the pool')
-call Shoshanna
-feed the gator/fish/chipmunks
-test the plumbing
-finish dinner
-marinate some steaks
-think
Its the fucking longest 8+ hours you could imagine.
Things I do to pass time:
Come in late. Lucky if I am here before 11:30.
Take long lunches. 2 hours on average.
Drink mad green tea.
Listen to MP3 mixes.
Edit shit in Soundforge.
Bring magazines to read.
Listen to Satellite radio.
Chat (sometimes, I don't have patience).
Look at SoulStrut, Digi & TapeOp boards.
Burn CD's
Trick people into sending me records.
Search Craigslist for escorts, ok, just kidding, look for used gear.
Go outside & chirp the homies on the nextel.
Meditate.
Think of shit to do when I get home.
Just added:
I am now starting some online classes so I can earn my degree, that oughtta help me kill time & get me a Bachelors + a paycheck!
also...
Setup VPN to my home PC so I can now edit audio shit at home from work & even look at pr0n undetected!
How to look like I am busy while passing this time:
Scatter mad shit around my desk/cube & leave books open to create an illusion.
Call POPCORN (time) and pretend I am on an important call.
Keep getting up to stare at equipment & pretend I am fixing something.
Create a non-existent problem, then solve it.
Print useless shit & walk to printer about 5-7 times per day.
Push everything towards end of day (4:30/5:00 is good time to respond).
Stretch all projects by at least 5's (i.e. 5min projects = 25 minutes).
Send emails from home/vpn at odd hours.
Fuck yo, the list goes on & on.
I was not born to work. But hey! when I do, i am damn good at it!
Damn, no wonder American firms outsource work to foreign countries. There's nothing like paying top dollar for that strong U.S. Protestant work ethic. Also, could this be why foreign national employees (who work their asses off, by the way) are running circles around our workforce? Geez!!!!
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
hahaha...
Ok, it's not like that every day & some of that is said in jest.
In all honesty I do most my work after hours anyways (think "IT work").
I can do my job %100 from home & really come in as a formality.
Truthfully it's because I am good at what I do.
My shit is rock solid & I get zero complaints.
You'll find in many tech companies a very lax work environment & yeah it's like that where I am at.
On the other hand they'll outsource regardless of what we do or don't do.
The people makin those decisions don't even see us pee-ons.
Been there done that. They can outsource robots & button pushers but can't outsource sharp minds.
;-)
Phew!!!! I'm glad to read that some of what you said was in jest. Then again, there were several posts where it seemed like some are paid to not do very much. It's part of my nature, because of how I was raised, to work hard for the check even though I'm an academic with a very open schedule. I'm quite critical of dead-wood faculty that do just enough work to get tenure, and then they fail to do anything of consequence for the rest of their careers. Slack-ass work ethic is sort of a pet-peeve of mine, that's all, and it's running rampant among younger cohorts (in my opinion). As Marx stated, "Excess breeds apathy".
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
Be VERY careful with those workplace romances, be you single or married, be they serious romances or just flings. I know this lady who got into a little fling with a dude at the office after he broke up with the mother of his kids (who also worked in this office, I think in a different section, though). Anyway, they have this fling, then the dude decides to go back to his baby mama. Just a few days later, guess what she finds out-
For those who don't recognize the pic, she is preggers with dude's baby.
That's just one crazy sitcom-like scenario, but shizz happens. My rule has always been to never mix biz with pleasure- I can't speak for errbody, but that rule has always worked for me.
"Bam likes his asses phat not flat. Big Bam is livin' phat, are you gentle, or do you like to get your ass smacked?..."
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
aahh, you been listenin to that too?
"down with DITC, thats digging in them cakes
"im a top notch cake digger , use my tool as a trigger
"we can bone in my closet thats my logic but not everyday cause im working on my projects
"dang yall look like triplets
love that shit
DAZE... you had me laughing my ass off.youre killing shit right now man. this should be its own thread. anyone got anymore?
how about walking through metal detectors with an axe while wearing flipflops
making a covert ganja stew for a staff meeting and forgetting to tell anybody
living on the office couch for a week
filling the office with old christmas tree branches
(my former coworker did all that shit last year...truly prolific individual)
Drewn
if youre counting hours already........
second stacks....bring magazines,trade articles (if you want to step up your work game). if not, bring your own damn books and become an ill prolific reader. it will make you more on point regardless.
nytimes crosswords can be worthwhile for the wordskills
It's more a case of getting used to the situation than already sick of it, being my first solid gig and all... Don't get me wrong, I love what I do.
Newsflash: GM is cutting 25,000 jobs... I bet the bean counters stay.
One thing I know is no job is secure, your shit can be gone tomorrow.
Job security is the bank account & making sure you have skills companies will pay for.
But who said work had to be miserable?
I used to let work run my life, now it's the opposite.
Honestly I had enough of the sell-your-soul to the company for $$$ bullshit & took a job paying a bit less thats closer to home & LESS impactful on my life.
I can get up leave my cube, ride my bike home, get a blowjob, eat a meal, watch TV for a bit or listen to Rackords & be back in time for a status meeting.
If thats slack, then I'm guilty yo!
Now for the record... My personal no-no's on the job:
No drugs or alcohol AT work & no obvious illegal shit.
I don't talk sex or race issues at work no matter how benign, I can't tell you how many times I seen people get fucked over for small shit in this category.
I don't do pranks or make off-color jokes, that shit always escalates or gets taken the wrong way.
I don't party with co-workers.
And hell no, I would never bang a co-worker thats just plain ASKIN' for it!!!
I've had a drink or 2, lunch & what not, but I maintain professional status.
And far as my pr0n habit, I save it for after normal biz hours & only do it on a secret DSL line I ran to my cube, which doubles back via VPN to my home, where the pr0n acutally resides.
Pimp that job but Play it safe folls !!!
Oh yeah, she got the paternity test- he was definitely the baby daddy. He paid his court-appointed child support but never acknowledged the child in any other way.
Ray, do you still work with your wife? And if so, does it ever get to the point where y'all just get tired of seeing each other all the time? 'Cause I'm gonna tell you, I'm really glad my wife is in the process of moving her business out of the crib. Love is love and all that, but I think some time away is actually one of the best things you can have in a relationship. Makes the heart grow fonder, as the saying goes.
wait a minute... my homegirl works for SEPTA and she was telling me about some freak who worked for her who kept doing all this typa stuff...
I don't really get along that well with my boss (does anyone though) but something he did that almost made me like him was install World Of Warcraft so if I have nothing to do which can happen when I'm not doing the mag I get to play this, although I have not for ages as I have been busy.
Its funny what ya say Drewn about having lunch late it does make the day seem shorter cuz when you get back you are like well only a few more hours to go.
Also recently I have been playing alot of Mario and Luigi Allstars on the gba its tooo good.
I sometimes read a book. Currently reading 'The Broom Of The System' by David Foster Wallace.
I have always thought that I would like to extend my knowledge however, as I do feel I lack much history geography etc even science knowledge, anyone know any good sites that can get you up to speed a bit?
Sometimes I'm also in my office by myself for the whole day so I'm kinda lucky I get to do whatever I want really so I might start bringing in DVDs etc for a little something to do