Tell the most obscure joke you know

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  • FlomotionFlomotion 2,390 Posts
    ..and then there's the one about the Buddhist and the ice cream koan.

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    Guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, orders two drinks, he drinks one, giraffe drinks the other.

    the giraffe asks for a whiskey, drinks it, falls down drunk.

    the guy starts yelling, "fuck you, fucking animal, this happens everytime, im leaving"

    bartender says "wait a minute buddy, you cant leave that lying there"

    guy says "its not a lion, its a giraffe".

  • Q: What did the Deadhead say when he ran out of weed?
    A: This band sucks.

  • Mr_Lee_PHDMr_Lee_PHD 2,042 Posts
    A shepard goes out to the field with his dog cause its time to get all the sheep in.

    He says to the dog 'Now go get all the sheep into the pen then come back and tell me how many sheep there are'.

    The dog runs off and gets all the sheep into the pen then comes back and says 'There are 40'.

    The shepard says 'No there aren't. There are 38!'

    The dog says 'Yeah I know - I rounded them up'.

  • Mr_Lee_PHDMr_Lee_PHD 2,042 Posts
    Why did the baker have brown hands ?



    Because he 'kneaded' a poo.



  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    Fatback is the most obscure joke I know.


  • HAZHAZ 3,376 Posts
    For the Tagalog speakers:

    In Manila, there's a basketball tournament and the teams are lettered A-Z. Which team wins?

    the itim (pronounced ee-team)

    itim is Tagalog for black.

    They taught us this joke in Tagalog class in college! lol

  • what's the difference between a bowling ball and a vagina?
    you could eat a bowling ball if you had to.

    Reminds me of a diss i heard at the house I work at as a youth worker.

    Your mother is like a bowling ball she has been fingered by everyone, thrown in the gutter and keeps coming back for more.

    Oh and for a drummer joke

    Whats the difference between a drummer and a drum machine?
    With a drum machine you only have to punch the information in once

  • bluesnagbluesnag 1,285 Posts

    some math jokes:

    Q: what's purple and commutes?
    A: an abelian grape!

    the followup:

    Q: what's purple, commutes, and is worshipped twice every evening?
    A: a bi-nightly venerated abelian grape!

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts


    any joke sucks compared to this: Bill Hicks at his finest.

    absolutly NSFW!

  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts


    any joke sucks compared to this: Bill Hicks at his finest.

    absolutly NSFW!


    Wow. That wasn't funny at all. It was kind of stupid, but I could see why someone like you would think its funny.

  • billbradleybillbradley You want BBQ sauce? Get the fuck out of my house. 2,904 Posts
    not obscure but it was the last joke i heard...

    What is the difference between a straight Mexican man and a gay Mexican man?





    5 Tecates

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts



    Wow. That wasn't funny at all. It was kind of stupid, but I could see why someone like you would think its funny.


    someone like me....

    you mean someone you have never met and have absolutly no clue about?

    wow, thats cool.

    you should join the psychic friends network then.

  • bluesnagbluesnag 1,285 Posts


    any joke sucks compared to this: Bill Hicks at his finest.

    absolutly NSFW!


    Wow. That wasn't funny at all. It was kind of stupid, but I could see why someone like you would think its funny.

    do we really have to make this thread all about you too? can't you just stick with the presidential address thread and leave this one alone? or tell a joke? it doesn't even have to be a funny one, as i've demonstrated.

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    so, anyone know any funny jokes?
    this thread is 6th grade.

  • bluesnagbluesnag 1,285 Posts
    so, anyone know any funny jokes?
    this thread is 6th grade.

    where's your joke, funny man?

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    so, anyone know any funny jokes?
    this thread is 6th grade.

    where's your joke, funny man?


    YEAH! MY JOKE WAS HILARIOUS!

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts

    where's your joke, funny man?

    i do imrov. give me a scenario.


  • FlomotionFlomotion 2,390 Posts

    where's your joke, funny man?

    i do imrov. give me a scenario.


    Scenario: You're a well known former sitcom star doing stand- up at a West Hollywood comedy club when the audience starts heckling you...

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts

    where's your joke, funny man?

    i do imrov. give me a scenario.


    Scenario: You're a well known former sitcom star doing stand- up at a West Hollywood comedy club when the audience starts heckling you...

    and what race or religion are the hecklers?


  • where's your joke, funny man?

    i do imrov. give me a scenario.


    50 soulstrutters and a race thread. hilarity ensues.

    GO!


  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts


    50 soulstrutters and a race thread.


  • FlomotionFlomotion 2,390 Posts

    where's your joke, funny man?

    i do imrov. give me a scenario.


    Scenario: You're a well known former sitcom star doing stand- up at a West Hollywood comedy club when the audience starts heckling you...

    and what race or religion are the hecklers?

    Mostly Amish and Lizard People.

  • HamHam 872 Posts
    i got one



    It was a dv??rgtjej that each walk it regnade got j??vligt evil in fi**to. so went she to the doctor, and told if his problems. the doctor checked around a little, but could not see something wrong at all. Next walk it regnade got she than a walk j??vligt evil, and rang the doctor. "Came down tomorrow to mottagningen so shall I see what I can do", said the doctor. When she went down next day could the doctor still not find something wrong, and she went home, dissatisfied. So a day began it rain, and she got so evil that she went down directly to the doctor and said that now receives you fan fix up it here. The doctor checked a little, "hmmm...hmmm..yoke..." late did he a little grejer there, a little here, until it ended that do evil. "oh, how did you?" asked she the doctor - "I klippte down 5 cm on each rubber boot!"

  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    i got one



    It was a dv??rgtjej that each walk it regnade got j??vligt evil in fi**to. so went she to the doctor, and told if his problems. the doctor checked around a little, but could not see something wrong at all. Next walk it regnade got she than a walk j??vligt evil, and rang the doctor. "Came down tomorrow to mottagningen so shall I see what I can do", said the doctor. When she went down next day could the doctor still not find something wrong, and she went home, dissatisfied. So a day began it rain, and she got so evil that she went down directly to the doctor and said that now receives you fan fix up it here. The doctor checked a little, "hmmm...hmmm..yoke..." late did he a little grejer there, a little here, until it ended that do evil. "oh, how did you?" asked she the doctor - "I klippte down 5 cm on each rubber boot!"


    FOLKS, WE HAVE A WINNER.

  • i got one



    It was a dv??rgtjej that each walk it regnade got j??vligt evil in fi**to. so went she to the doctor, and told if his problems. the doctor checked around a little, but could not see something wrong at all. Next walk it regnade got she than a walk j??vligt evil, and rang the doctor. "Came down tomorrow to mottagningen so shall I see what I can do", said the doctor. When she went down next day could the doctor still not find something wrong, and she went home, dissatisfied. So a day began it rain, and she got so evil that she went down directly to the doctor and said that now receives you fan fix up it here. The doctor checked a little, "hmmm...hmmm..yoke..." late did he a little grejer there, a little here, until it ended that do evil. "oh, how did you?" asked she the doctor - "I klippte down 5 cm on each rubber boot!"

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!

  • pjl2000xlpjl2000xl 1,795 Posts
    alright these 3 explorers get captured by natives in the jungle. They are brought to the village and are put on trial by the elders. The chief declares,
    "FOR TRESPASSING ON OUR SACRED LAND I LEAVE YOU TWO OPTIONS. DEATH OR "UNGA-BUNGA"
    The first man stands up and declares "Im gonna have to go with this "unga-bunga" shit. All of a sudden a gorilla comes out of a hut and proceeds to give him a hardcare buttfucking. The second man, hip to the game and know nows what "unga-bunga" is, says "well fuck it, its better then dying". So the ape comes over and gives it to him no vasiline stylee. Now the third explorer say "No fucking way am i getting sodomized by that fucking ape. I would rather take death.

    The Chief gets up and declares
    "DEATH BY "UNGA-BUNGA"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"



  • cpeetzcpeetz 2,112 Posts
    Q: How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

    A: Hippies don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in dirty sleeping bags.

  • i got one



    It was a dv??rgtjej that each walk it regnade got j??vligt evil in fi**to. so went she to the doctor, and told if his problems. the doctor checked around a little, but could not see something wrong at all. Next walk it regnade got she than a walk j??vligt evil, and rang the doctor. "Came down tomorrow to mottagningen so shall I see what I can do", said the doctor. When she went down next day could the doctor still not find something wrong, and she went home, dissatisfied. So a day began it rain, and she got so evil that she went down directly to the doctor and said that now receives you fan fix up it here. The doctor checked a little, "hmmm...hmmm..yoke..." late did he a little grejer there, a little here, until it ended that do evil. "oh, how did you?" asked she the doctor - "I klippte down 5 cm on each rubber boot!"



    Fy fan, that's a good one!



    Another point: this thread is supposed to be about obscure jokes, like the one above, the one Gary started the thread with, and LaserWolf's symphony-theme jokes (I had no idea that cellists were the stepchildren of the symphony!). With that, I give you my favorite joke from first grade:


    Have you heard the one about the Aggie who drank so much Fresca he snowed in his pants?
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