LETTERS TO PEOPLE AND THINGS.
ness
249 Posts
Yo. I'm on the internutswebmathing!!! Dear Schnipper, I don't know where that dude went. But his contribution to the board was this hear format. I never really posted on one, but i figured "yo that shit was really good". Dear Soulstrut, I miss you guys. Even though in the last couple years i've met some of y'all dudes in person. chilling on soulstrut, barking on newbies, reading quality posts by dudes with something for real to say, adding to my saved searches, jokes, etc. Yo dudes on here are quality. In person and in 1's and 0's. Dear Records, Though I've sold off most anything of 'value' I still appreciate you guys. We don't see each other as often as we should and well i think for now it's better it stay that way. I'm not dumping you I just need time to square some other things away which need my attention a little bit more than you do. I know you well and I know you won't be going anywhere, just stay sane and don't go crazy on me. Dear Strutters, Keep doin' it on here and making them real world moves. I'm gonna see some more of y'all soon enough. Dear Idoits, Folls and Foolionics, Do Your Thing. Don't Get Caught. People already know the deal with you. You ain't even gotta open your mouth. All My Detroit People, Hold On, Holler at your dude or something. Even if we ain't really see eye to eye or whatever. Special Shouts to The Reducer, Josh D, and the rest of the crew. (No Iggy Pop)RAJ and Otis, Nice seeing y'all dudes. Continued success in your respective endeavors. Peace and Respect.Dear My Favorite Person, I Miss You. Come Back Soon. Have Fun. Sincerely, Your Dude. Ness.
Comments
Thanks for existing so I can go back and edit this post to fit the thread.
Dear Schipper,
I listened to you on the radio the other day and was throughly amused. You had me rolling when you were talking about a lot of other things, but unfortunately I forgot what most of them were.
Dear Ness,
Do I owe you a record or something? Holler at your boy via non-Strut communication vehicles.
Dear Love Break 2,
Thanks for almost being done. I'm excited about you.
Dear The Three Degrees,
Speaking of Love Break 2, I'm glad you're on it, and I'm glad that I've finally gotten a chance to fully appreciate you ladies. In fact when I heard "When Will I See You Again" a few weeks ago driving down from Connecticut with my wife it made me really happy.
Dear Brooklyn,
Thanks for waiting for me. It feels lovely to be back. This rain and gloom will not take that feeling away from me. There's nothing like you in the summer, and for those who don't know just trust me on that one.
Dear Real High-Profile Production and Remix Requests,
You scare the fuck out of me.
Dear Wifey,
Thanks for putting up with me. Love you babe. Hang in there, you only have one more year to go after this.
Dear Summer Cold,
You're not that bad actually. I can feel that you're like an after effect of stopping smoking, and I'm cool with that, so let's just get done with you and keep it moving.
Dear Strutter Who Was With Me When I Fell Off The Smoking Wagon A Few Weeks Ago,
I'm fine, dude. I'm back on, and fully riding. All is well. It must have been the tequila.
Most Sincerely,
Cosmo Baker
After so many years of trying to have you, I've finally got you. This makes me extremely happy. Now, I spend my days at work itching to get back home so I can mess around with you some more. See you in a few hours!
DJ DJing:
We haven't been seeing much of each other lately, have we? I know you think I've been cheating on you with your friend, Production, but it's not like that at all. I just need to have that gig that re-energizes me and reminds me why I love you in the first place--a gig where I can do "my shit" and play records I dig and not have to worry too much about, "Is this party jumpin' off hard enough?" Then we'll be back on track.
Dear Basketball:
I miss you already.
Sincerely,
DJ Enki
Beutiful.
Dear dudes that don't know Ness,
He's a true blue homie don't let it fool you!
Dear dudes that think they know Ness,
Don't get it twisted! Please see above.
Dear Ness,
You missed a debaucal on Saturday, let's get it in and celibrate freedom this weekend. I'll see you over a plate of Lopez.
Dear AI,
Aren't you coming to Detroit next month? Let's kick it.
Dear Records,
Movin you is a bitch. Yuck!
Dear Detroit,
What have you done for me latley. I'm moving to the burbs.
Dear Fireworks,
Please let that have been a firework and not a gun.
Dear Meeting Struters in person,
You're the coolest.
Dear Thes,
We got plans to make!
Dear Computer Monitors,
You're killing my eyes.
Wankers
Dear Alien Iverson,
ARRGH!! What do I have to do to get the first Love Break in my life?
sincerely,
N. King Code
Dear German citizens,
please be careful with waving them flags everywhere...there's more to life than soccer/footbal...well, I know, not at this point of time...
Dear Breaks,
still love you all so much since the first time I heard Yes incorporating Funk Inc...
Dear Soulstrut,
you make my day everyday allday...I guess I'm hooked...
Dear University,
please forgive me for my laziness, I will make you a priority as of tomorrow...
Dear Clubbers,
please stop asking me to play "something that people can dance to"...go and have fun with your friends and let me do my job...
Dear Clubs,
please give birth to one in my area where people start screaming when they DONT know a tune...or do i have to spin in Tokyo to experience that?
I know you have decided to take vacation early when we still had a week of work to go. I'm sorry that I probably used the last of you at band practice last sunday, but that was because the singer was an hour late & someone had to cover. All I'm saying is please come back before the weekend & it sucks trying to teach classes without you.
Dear Ken Donnelly of South Preston Victoria.
Send me my records motherf***er.
Dear Plane Trip to London
I will be doing you for the first time on Monday, please let me get some sleep & have everything go smoothly.
Dear London/Paris
Please sell me some nice records and show me a good time.
Dear New Girl
You are pretty cool at the moment, hope you don't screw me over. I guess I'll see what's up after I don't see you for 2.5 weeks while I'm overseas.
Dear Nick's Flat in Bayswater
Please let me find you OK after I get off the plane at Heathrow, I really won't be feeling getting lost on my first day in London.
i like you, but you give me hideous gas. why is that? please direct me to some other low-cal office snacks that can be stored in a desk drawer.
kvh
It's good to be back for the summer. I now remember what I loved and hated about you. Thank you for all the friend's couches you have provided me thus far. It's good to be back with the friends, the ocean, and mild weather. Too bad the wealthy (real and fake) continue to inhabit the coastal areas.
Write back,
p13
Dear Arizona,
Well, I don't miss you. It was bloody hot when I left, and I've heard things are getting worse. I've met some friendly folks there, but raving is dead and fort minor is not all that. Find yourself. Please relinquish my wife so that she may visit me this weekend.
Chill out,
p13
Dear North Carolina,
I can't wait to come and see you again. Looking at you and your housing market on the internet makes me feel very excited. I was hoping that you could provide a domicile with a screened porch for sipping on cocktails and listening to chunes with my wife. A little over an acre would be nice too.
Until then ol' friend,
p13
Why are you so hard to aim in the middle of the night when I'm half asleep and trying to piss? Speaking of which...
Dear Bowels,
Can't you wait until morning? That's why the last thing I do at night before I go to bed is take a piss. Work with me, not against me.
Dear Wrist Tattoo,
I didn't mind spending money on you when I was poor because you were supposed to last the rest of my life. Now you have faded and look like shit and I don't want to put the color back in you because that shit hurt enough the first time. I took the pain because I thought you would last forever. dick.
Dear Suit,
It cost some money to get you taken in, but damn, it was worth it cause you looked fresh as fuck on saturday.
Dear chicks,
Relax, ladies, relax. I'm a married man!
Dear velvet blazer,
I don't own you yet, nor do I know where I can buy you for a reasonable price, but someday you will be mine.
damn..I really thought I was gonna ditch you and your lame ass boss but I guess not. I'm not mad because the pay is decent enough and it doesn't take time away post 6 o'clock, but you aren't fullfilling in the least bit.
Dear Job I thought I was gonna have:
Sorry It's not going to happen. As much as this could be helpfull in the long run (marketing career and even in terms music) I really can't turn my back on what progress I've made. Normally this would be a perfect fit but that's how life goes. Maybe we can do a compromise
Dear L.A.
You rocked my world on friday night. Maybe it's because I'm only down there to do things like deejay and stuff, but man I'm so amazed at the music scene and the support from folks. If I spent more time their I would probally think "L.A. SUCKS" but as tourist-ass tourist i'm lovin' it.
Dear Women in L.A.
It's really not fair how beautfill y'all are on and how many of y'all their is. I don't understand how any man would want to be in a relationshop with all the temptation and eye candy floating around.
Dear Pigeon that I saw die at ****B:
It was sad seeing you die. My mouth was wide open in shock and I was a little tramatized afterwards, but at least the cats working their gave you a proper send-off.
Dear Morrisey Chode:
Happy birthday, lunk-head. You're my boy and i'm glad we makin' moves side by side *PASUEZOO*
Why do you act like you wanna get with a mufuckah and then act all cold later on? I too old for games girl! I don't fall for none of that shit but shits annoying, nahmean?
Brian
Dear left TR8XL speaker,
Why the fuck did you decide to die randomly on me? I took you apart and found nothing wrong with you, so I have to assume that you just hate me. Please start working again because I really don't want to have to buy new speakers right now.
Brian
Dear mix I've been working on for the past week,
You sounding better and better in certain parts each time but then some shits just sound like complete shit all of a sudden. What's up?
Brian
Dear Brian's mixing skillz,
Please step your game up so the mix you've been working on for the past week can actually be completely. I know you are capable of doing this but you just need to practice more instead of going out.
Brian
You come in here looking all fly looking and flirty which is good cos a mufuckah likes that shit and I'm bored out of my mind at work, but then you start talking about your kid out of no where? That shit ain't right! Fuck!
You guys have taught me a whole fucking lot in the last month. Here's to more of that.
-g
Dear Mom, Dad, and Sister,
Best of luck in your various moves this weekend. Crazy summer we're having, no? Every member of the family is changing jobs, you three are all moving, and I'm getting married. Hectic to say the least, but exctiting, no?
-gar
ps- Becs, I am trying to help you, so quit being an asspain, ok?
Dear Childhood home,
It was fun, and I'll miss you, but things were never the same after you burned down in '95. Sorry. Hope the new family treats you well.
-kid in the basement room
Dear Milwaukee:
-I can stand you. You are the armpit of the United States. How did so many racist, narrow-minded, xenophobic, and insular people aggregate in one place? You are horribly racially stratified, and do nothing about it. Your public schools are shitty, yet your city/county governments sit immobile. Why do you think there is so much crime and violence here? Educate more of the populace and you will see a drop in crime, but then again, you probably have never studied criminology, have you? But, you sure love to drink and drive and take lives. You wallow in frivolity yet ignore the real issues. You will become Youngstown, OH in about 40-50 years. I can't wait to leave you next year.
Dear Wife and Pooch:
-I love you two dearly. You love me unconditionally, with all my frailties and faults. You are the girding I need to be strong in this cruel world. I do what I do for you.
Dear Mom (and Dad):
-I'll be down in Fayetteville for my obligatory visit next month. I hope you guys can loosen up some so I won't be so bored that week, when time stands still. I hope you are not too judgmental and pious while I'm there. It's unfortunate that neither of you will ever truly know who I am, because you refuse to see. I guess Carl Rogers was right when he stated how damaging conditional positive regard from parents can be to their children. Much of my insecurity and hard emotional times came from your words.
Dear Music:
-You have been such a source of solace in my life. That's why I love you so much. You never judged me, just brought pleasure. You touch me in my spirit, in ways I cannot express. I've always depended on you.
Dear Knowledge:
-You are such a gift. Why are people today so afraid of you? You are a positive force in the world, for you foster sound decision-making. At the same time, you are a source of pain since ignorance is bliss. I appreciate all of the doors you've opened from me, through the hands of God.
Dear Action Editor (for my revised paper submission at the Journal of Applied Psychology):
-I sent you my revised paper today. I tried to make all the changes you asked for, so I hope you'll give the paper serious consideration. It would be great to get another paper accepted there before I am reviewed for tenure.
Dear Job Market:
-I hope you present great career and non-work opportunities this upcoming year. I really want to get the hell out of Milwaukee. I am hopeful that you present me with an offer I can't refuse professionally, but offers the quality of life outside of work that I so desparately crave. I'm tired of being so linear since I never had to live this way.
Dear Soulstrut Massive:
-You guys are priceless. I enjoy the daily conversations, musings, and knowledge. You're a great group of people and I look forward to meeting many of you in the future.
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
I'm a noobie who has come along and posting like I own the joint, I apologise for this but i do enjoy this forum and things ya'll have to say. It makes me laugh and laugh all day at work and the time passes quicker.
Dear Rachel,
I think you're the love of my life, Everyday I spend with you I grow fonder and fonder of you, you make my life worth living and I'm worried I've become too co-depedant with you but I don't really care. Every day I feel like I love you more and more and it's bad too because when I'm not with you it hurts more and more and It's become real bad, but damn it's so good.
Dear Work,
Fuck you're so boring but I'm very lucky for someone this young to have this income and a comfortable cruisy job even though my co workers call me emo everyday because they read an article in the newspaper about how to spot an emo. I tell them i'm too rough and ruggered to be emo but they ignore this and point at my jeans. As I work with so many people I'm always suprised that more of them are not arseholes.
Dear Back,
Why do you hurt so much? I'm too young for this shit.
Dear Teeth,
You used to be so pearly white, now from excessive coffee and smoke intake you're starting to yellow no matter how much I brush you, I think i'll stop drinking coffee just for you (Can't promise anything on the pot smoking).
you are full of dope songs. Going to/returning from work is so much fun with you. I hope you don't get boring too soon.
Dear Dusty Kid,
Thanks! (see above)
Dear Ex-Girlfriend,
why do we have to work in the same office?!? It was hard enough trying to forget you, now you're sitting 2m away from me, annoying me with all your private phonecalls.
WTF? But on the other side: I was never so focused on my work...
Dear Vacation
I need you. Real soon!
Dear Sister
I'm really happy you got the Job at Porsche. Have fun in Stuttgart and make that Money. (And please understand that i'm really jealous cause you earn 4 times more than i do.
Enough with this shit already....
Soaked in NJ
Dear New Baby
Thanks for not showing up a month early (like it looked like you might last week).
We ain't ready.
Mom & Dad
Dear Lorraine Ellison
Thanks for making 'Call Me Any Time You Need Some Loving"
Great Stuff
LG
Dear Fellow Employees
Plaese to wake up before coming to work. Your incessant stupidity is sucking the life out of me.
The Help Desk
Hey, that reminds me:
Dear Soulstrut,
When the last time you heard it like this?
(Courtesy of: AlienIVERSON, soulstrut, and the year 2003)
What I'm about to ask, Soulstrut, I ask generally (that is, not specifically regarding AI), and sincerely: Does that train stop here anymore?
love,
james
I will make it my life???s mission to hunt you down and torture you. You don???t know me and you don???t know the real.
Dear Companies that buy tests from Personality Test Writers and use them in the screening interview process,
You are the worst kind of sucker in the world. I would like to take solace in your misdirection and waste of time and money, but you have more money than me and I guess that makes you better.
Dear Chicago Temp Agencies,
Call GW, I hear he knows where some jobs are.
Dear Estranged Friends,
I???ve been out of touch lately. Bringing nothing but negativity to the table is not fun. Neither is being a leech. I will make it up to you.
Dear Music,
You have kept my insanity. You only constant and the only thing I feel I can trust and understand lately.
Dear Givers,
Keep on giving, that???s all you can do.
Dear Takers,
Stop taking.
Dear Hip Hop,
A lot of people around me seemed to have become bored and talked bad about you lately. I don???t care and I???m riding for you right now.
Dear James,
You never arrive at the same destination twice.
Dear Soulstrut,
Big dudes please don't get discouraged by little dudes. People need to learn and they can't do that if you leave. The more of you that leave, the less there will be to share with.
Dear 'Big Dudes,'
You may have a lot to learn from 'little dudes,' as well. Don't forget that.
-a dude
Yeah man, I remember the nigth Cos put that it up. Not to sound like a dick-rider but it was pretty moving. I think Oliver even blogged about it. I also remember when dude talked about how he was canoeing down some river and saw a young man who killed himself.
Thank you for making Love Break One, it's the bee'z kneez and melts the lady's heart errytime. I'm really looking forward to vol. too, and so is the girl.
Dear Powerbook,
Why did your hard drive have to die this week? i thought it might be coming, but really? now? I'll get you fixed, i swear, because i cant live without you, but do you think we can extract some data out of that old drive? i'd really appreciate it if you would work with me.
Dear New Job,
You arent really the job i want, but i have to take you because my unemployment is running out, and it's just that time. You wanted me to piss in a cup and i said no, and you hired me anyway, i guess you need me as much as i need you. I think that you will not get me for that long though, as i'm waiting to hear from my dream job as we speak.
Dear Ciggarettes,
I am over you. thank you for everything you've done for me, you never let me down, and you were always there for me when i needed you, but i am done with you. it's almost been a year since we've been together and to tell you the truth, i dont even miss you anymore, even when i see you out in the bars with my friends.
Dear Bethany,
You are the everything. I love you. Nights like last night are everything i have to give and wouldnt trade this for anything. let's take this world on together.
thanks,
Blaine
It's good to see you're still alive and kicking. Although we don't see each other hardly ever anymore, this dude hasn't forgotten the
I'm having a bbq at my home in July. The Detroit Soulstrut set is invited, including you. Holler at me sometime.
Dear Little Dude Apologists,
Please stop.
--The Special Friends Club
Dear Special Friends Club,
Hip Hop is dead, and YOU KILLED IT!
-Coroner