CLOSEST YOU'VE EVER COME TO KILLING SOMEONE

SoulmanSoulman 66 Posts
edited March 2006 in Strut Central
attempted murderers stand upp!!!

  Comments


  • generiquegenerique 625 Posts
    I was a doorman for a concerthal in Amsterdam for a while. The artists entrance bordered on the red light district. I was helping some girls to get their gear and instruments in their bus somewhere past midnight. A guy came up to us and he was terribly drunk. He started to talk trash to the girls and tried to touch one. I managed to keep him at a distance but then he rushed towards the entrance, following the girls and I blocked the entrance and he attacked me (halfheartly and drunk as fuck) and I pushed him away from me. He fell down the stairs and onto a bad ass fence with sharp pinacles. Lucky for him (and for me) his head landed exactly between two of those pinacles, scratching his ear (but he didn't notice the blood). The whole scene was very embarrasing.

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    when my breaks went out approaching a red light doing 30mph. it turned out i ended up saving my three passengers from harm w/ some hollywood stunt driving maneuvers.

  • twoplytwoply Only Built 4 Manzanita Links 2,915 Posts
    In kindergarten this kid was totally in my face, trying to take the little fisher price motorcycle from me. There was only ever two of them, so they were a hot commodity and whoever got one first at playtime wouldn't give it up for all the nilla wafers in the kitchen cupboard. This wetmouth wouldn't stop following me so I pushed him down and his head hit the corner of the dress-up clothes chest. His noggin split, spilling blood everywhere. I never saw the kid again, but my parents did explain to me what "stitches" were.

  • jaymackjaymack 5,199 Posts
    wetmouth

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    wetmouth

    AYO

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    I was working the door in a shithole club in NZ and some winner started bashing his girl in the toilets,
    all the bouncers rush in, we pick the guy up, dunk him headfirst in a blocked overflowing toilet then drag him out the door, he was there with a big group of dickheads so it pretty much turned into a free-for-all,
    i ended up putting some guys head through a glass plate that was dividing the bar and he cut his neck pretty bad, after that i was king-hit and i woke up in the bosses office covered in blood looking straight at 2 cops.
    Turns out dude was rushed away in an ambulance, the only thing that saved me was the fact that there was so much going on at the time, noone could point me except him.

    scary as fuck.

    oh yeah, I might have given someone an incurable disease with a jizzmop.

  • RockadelicRockadelic Out Digging 13,993 Posts
    I was working the door in a shithole club in NZ and some winner started bashing his girl in the toilets,
    all the bouncers rush in, we pick the guy up, dunk him headfirst in a blocked overflowing toilet then drag him out the door, he was there with a big group of dickheads so it pretty much turned into a free-for-all,
    i ended up putting some guys head through a glass plate that was dividing the bar and he cut his neck pretty bad, after that i was king-hit and i woke up in the bosses office covered in blood looking straight at 2 cops.
    Turns out dude was rushed away in an ambulance, the only thing that saved me was the fact that there was so much going on at the time, noone could point me except him.

    scary as fuck.

    oh yeah, I might have given someone an incurable disease with a jizzmop.

    I got two Bouncer stories and both are

    It was my first night on the job at a Long Island Disco that catered to the young John Travolta/Saturday Night Fever wannabe. I only got the job because my room mate had suffered a broken arm while breaking up a fight there and he asked me to fill in until he healed up. I wasn't even old enough to get in the club!!

    I met the owner and he told me to just walk around the club, make sure there was no trouble, stop it if there was, and pick up any empty glasses I came across and bring them to the bar.

    About an hour into the night I walked into a hallway where a pretty big guy was beating a girl....full fist to the face action.....I grabbed the guy by the shoulder to turn him around and he quickly turned and punched me right above the eye. Splits my eyebrow open, I'm bleeding like a pig and embarrassed as the rest of the bouncers run over and jump on the guy.

    The girl who was at the wrong end of his fist starts yelling for the bouncers to "Leave Him Alone!!!"..... Owner comes over and can't believe that I've been there an hour and have already taken a beating....I think he felt bad for me and started to train me to be a bartender the next week.......my buddy who I was filling in for was PISSED...he wanted to be a bartender and had worked a year to try to get where I got after just one night and one punch!!!

    Second story is something that's haunted me for years......I'm walking through the club and this guy walks by me and leans into me with his shoulder pretty hard. I ask him what the deal is and he says "Oh, sorry I mistakenly thought you were my friend".

    About an hour later the same thing happens again, same guy same reply. At this point I tell him he better get to his party's table and stay there the rest of the night....he appeared to be on his way to drinking too much.

    Not more than 15 minutes later I'm walking by and this fool walks up and throws an entire drink right in my face. Strike three...I haul off and hit him square in the nose which spurts blood....he falls down and hits his head on the corner of a Juke Box....more blood......out of the corner of my eye I see a bunch of guys running over to me, I assume to kick my ass for hitting their pal, and I start yelling.

    "C'mon M*therf*ckers...who's next".....when in reality I'm scared shitless. One guy comes over to me and says...."Oh man. you shouldn't have done that". I explain what had taken place and he apologized for his drunk friend and then said.... 'This is his Bachelor Party, he's getting married tomorrow"!!!!

    His friends hustle him out of the club and to the Emergency Room while he's yelling how he's gonna come back and kick my ass....I never saw him again but I've always had weird feeling that either he got married with a bandaged face or it got called off/cancelled.

    That was the last time I ever hit someone in the face.....29 years ago.

  • bluesnagbluesnag 1,285 Posts
    I was working the door in a shithole club in NZ and some winner started bashing his girl in the toilets,
    all the bouncers rush in, we pick the guy up, dunk him headfirst in a blocked overflowing toilet then drag him out the door, he was there with a big group of dickheads so it pretty much turned into a free-for-all,
    i ended up putting some guys head through a glass plate that was dividing the bar and he cut his neck pretty bad, after that i was king-hit and i woke up in the bosses office covered in blood looking straight at 2 cops.
    Turns out dude was rushed away in an ambulance, the only thing that saved me was the fact that there was so much going on at the time, noone could point me except him.

    scary as fuck.

    oh yeah, I might have given someone an incurable disease with a jizzmop.

    I got two Bouncer stories and both are

    It was my first night on the job at a Long Island Disco that catered to the young John Travolta/Saturday Night Fever wannabe. I only got the job because my room mate had suffered a broken arm while breaking up a fight there and he asked me to fill in until he healed up. I wasn't even old enough to get in the club!!

    I met the owner and he told me to just walk around the club, make sure there was no trouble, stop it if there was, and pick up any empty glasses I came across and bring them to the bar.

    About an hour into the night I walked into a hallway where a pretty big guy was beating a girl....full fist to the face action.....I grabbed the guy by the shoulder to turn him around and he quickly turned and punched me right above the eye. Splits my eyebrow open, I'm bleeding like a pig and embarrassed as the rest of the bouncers run over and jump on the guy.

    The girl who was at the wrong end of his fist starts yelling for the bouncers to "Leave Him Alone!!!"..... Owner comes over and can't believe that I've been there an hour and have already taken a beating....I think he felt bad for me and started to train me to be a bartender the next week.......my buddy who I was filling in for was PISSED...he wanted to be a bartender and had worked a year to try to get where I got after just one night and one punch!!!

    Second story is something that's haunted me for years......I'm walking through the club and this guy walks by me and leans into me with his shoulder pretty hard. I ask him what the deal is and he says "Oh, sorry I mistakenly thought you were my friend".

    About an hour later the same thing happens again, same guy same reply. At this point I tell him he better get to his party's table and stay there the rest of the night....he appeared to be on his way to drinking too much.

    Not more than 15 minutes later I'm walking by and this fool walks up and throws an entire drink right in my face. Strike three...I haul off and hit him square in the nose which spurts blood....he falls down and hits his head on the corner of a Juke Box....more blood......out of the corner of my eye I see a bunch of guys running over to me, I assume to kick my ass for hitting their pal, and I start yelling.

    "C'mon M*therf*ckers...who's next".....when in reality I'm scared shitless. One guy comes over to me and says...."Oh man. you shouldn't have done that". I explain what had taken place and he apologized for his drunk friend and then said.... 'This is his Bachelor Party, he's getting married tomorrow"!!!!

    His friends hustle him out of the club and to the Emergency Room while he's yelling how he's gonna come back and kick my ass....I never saw him again but I've always had weird feeling that either he got married with a bandaged face or it got called off/cancelled.

    That was the last time I ever hit someone in the face.....29 years ago.

    a scottish friend of mine got into a big brawl the night before his wedding, and showed up bruised/cut/fucked up. apparently it's not a big thing in scotland. so maybe you were just introducing this guy to a little culture.

  • Tropicana glass orange juice bottle to the face of some dude(which broke upon impact)...i'll regret that shit as long as I live. Looking back, it gives me chills to even think I was capable of doing such a terrible thing. I told my girlfriend about that not too long ago and she told me she wished I would have never told her...I don't blame her. What a fucking stupid teenager I was.

  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    dribbling a guys head on a bar table like a basketball because he dissed my sharkskin suit.
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