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Opinions on party invite etiquette

FatbackFatback 6,746 Posts
edited March 2006 in Strut Central
Someone I know is arranging, with their five siblings, a 60th birthday party for their father. Some of the siblings have suggested that instead of bringing gifts, they should ask people to send money to offset the cost of the party. They also want to put this on the invite. However, my friend has protested and her siblings are saying she???s making a big deal out of nothing. IMO this is a really bad look asking people to come to party and fucking paypal 40 bucks with their RSVP or some shit. What do ya???ll think?Bad look.Not a great look, but passable.No problem.

  Comments

  • CousinLarryCousinLarry 4,618 Posts

    Bad look, you throw a party you should pay. You can ask people to BYOB, but not to bring a check.
  • JuniorJunior 4,853 Posts
    Really bad look.

    Besides the cheap ass nature of it and the insult it gives to the guests the father is going to feel pretty shitty if he finds out his kids didn't even fork out for the party themslves.
  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    its best to pass this request around by word of mouth.
  • FatbackFatback 6,746 Posts
    Really bad look.

    Besides the cheap ass nature of it and the insult it gives to the guests the father is going to feel pretty shitty if he finds out his kids didn't even fork out for the party themslves.

    That's kinda what I was thinking. Like...

    Congrats on living 60 years and I bet you are so proud of your thrifty fucking grown ass children who feel the need to panhandle to throw you party.
  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    also, if people have to travel from around the country to attend, that's already a lot of expense.
  • On_the_Red_ClayOn_the_Red_Clay 1,728 Posts
    only workable option is a polite request to people to contribute to the party.
  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    Im facing the same problem with my wedding. We just accepted the fact that if you just have to throw the party you can afford, and if you make some money back than great, but if not, so what.

    By the way, how much should a dj cost if its only for 2 or 3 hours. We were going to have a brazilian trio up through the sit down, but then wanted a dj for after eating dancing?
  • FatbackFatback 6,746 Posts
    Im facing the same problem with my wedding. We just accepted the fact that if you just have to throw the party you can afford, and if you make some money back than great, but if not, so what.

    By the way, how much should a dj cost if its only for 2 or 3 hours. We were going to have a brazilian trio up through the sit down, but then wanted a dj for after eating dancing?

    In NYC? $1000 easy. Remember. They still have to bring and set up the same amount of equipment.
  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    Creepy. I'm agreeing with sabdbabdbabdba all over this thread.
  • FatbackFatback 6,746 Posts
    I do a lot of weddings and private parties. I sit around with planners and most of the time I want to scream out:

    Hey, you fuckers!

    This about people getting together from all over to honor a specific thing (marriage, b-day or aniversery). It's about friends and family being in the same space. Period. You have your whole life to show off.
  • soulmarcosasoulmarcosa 4,296 Posts
    So between SIX people, they can't afford to throw a party and foot the bill themselves? That is one bunch of broke motherfuckers.

    b/w

    Yes, asking for money from guests is a REAL BAD LOOK and a good way to make sure nobody RSVPs. They throw the party they can afford and do their best to make sure everyone has a good time. Bite the bullet, you cheapskates.
  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    Im facing the same problem with my wedding. We just accepted the fact that if you just have to throw the party you can afford, and if you make some money back than great, but if not, so what.

    By the way, how much should a dj cost if its only for 2 or 3 hours. We were going to have a brazilian trio up through the sit down, but then wanted a dj for after eating dancing?

    In NYC? $1000 easy. Remember. They still have to bring and set up the same amount of equipment.

    i was thinking 2K for the DJ, and 3K for the trio. I hope.
  • hogginthefogghogginthefogg 6,098 Posts
    i was thinking 2K for the DJ


    I'll do it!
  • gloomgloom 2,765 Posts
    horrible look.
  • G_BalliandoG_Balliando 3,916 Posts
    just let them bring gifts. collect them up in a room, don't let the pops know. then return the gifts the next day when everybody's gone. bam, you got at least a g in store credits and you can then sell those on ebay for about 80-90% of their value. money made back.
  • FlomotionFlomotion 2,391 Posts
    So between SIX people, they can't afford to throw a party and foot the bill themselves? That is one bunch of broke motherfuckers.



    Yeah, they're requesting their guests' company not their cash and it's in honour of their parents. A move like that will cause some serious family fall out and end some friendships.
  • djannadjanna 1,543 Posts
    As someone who is planning a wedding, I have been surrounding myself with etiquette books and advice.

    DO NOT EVER ASK FOR MONEY ON AN INVITE.

    Tacky to the max.

    If you want money, let people know word-of-mouth.
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