THE EDIBLE COLD SHOWER
grandpa_shig
5,799 Posts
alright kiddies. being that i have officially lost interest in my own sandwich post, i have taken it upon myself to create a new meeting grounds for foodists and gourmands to ponder the great foods of the 4AM SUPPER[/b]. that's right, im talking about the shit you eat when the club lets out, and your as shitty as shitty can be. high as fuck. post coital escapee. get your eat on.BONER DOGGS[/b]
yeah, i know, theyre called doner kebabs. but in america theyre just called kebab or gyros or something like that. anyways, boner dog sounds better.yes, ive gotten "pissed" across "the pond". oh, and you know what sucks? in england they have this system where they turn the bottles of scotch upside down and a spigot measures out the most measly shot of hooch ever. what the fuck is that all about mate? anyways, i digress. you can find me in da pub bottle full o bub mami i got the chips if you into eatin grub.fuck dudes, pubs are awesome. its so easy to lose track of time in da pub. i mean, you can eat food, smoke cigarettes, order pints and half pints, and little prissy ass shots of whiskey. everyone joins hands and sings songs. well, ok, not really. but you do get really drunk. and what do we have here but the british equivalent of a taco truck. the KEBAB VAN[/b]. these things are really great. m'lady was going to school out there so she kinda hipped me to the variables of a "kebab van". they usually have "chips" and hamburger things. some semblance of chicken boner doggs, some goat/lamb/possum log . garlic sauce. brown sauce. red sauce. salad. garlic naan. cheesey naan. onion naan. curry naan. im sure im forgetting some things. boner doggs smell so fucking good at 4AM when youre tore up drunk and stumbling. when you really think about it, its pretty nasty. fucking meat shavings off this compressed tube of pig lips and cow assholes or whatever that shit is. but ooooooooweeee that shit is nice on a hangover. plus, if youre single its your last chance to shagadabada. of course, there's rarely any females at a kebab van and youre gonna have the stankiest garlic onion goatscrotum breath after eating them boner doggs. but hey, that never stopped anyone!
yeah, i know, theyre called doner kebabs. but in america theyre just called kebab or gyros or something like that. anyways, boner dog sounds better.yes, ive gotten "pissed" across "the pond". oh, and you know what sucks? in england they have this system where they turn the bottles of scotch upside down and a spigot measures out the most measly shot of hooch ever. what the fuck is that all about mate? anyways, i digress. you can find me in da pub bottle full o bub mami i got the chips if you into eatin grub.fuck dudes, pubs are awesome. its so easy to lose track of time in da pub. i mean, you can eat food, smoke cigarettes, order pints and half pints, and little prissy ass shots of whiskey. everyone joins hands and sings songs. well, ok, not really. but you do get really drunk. and what do we have here but the british equivalent of a taco truck. the KEBAB VAN[/b]. these things are really great. m'lady was going to school out there so she kinda hipped me to the variables of a "kebab van". they usually have "chips" and hamburger things. some semblance of chicken boner doggs, some goat/lamb/possum log . garlic sauce. brown sauce. red sauce. salad. garlic naan. cheesey naan. onion naan. curry naan. im sure im forgetting some things. boner doggs smell so fucking good at 4AM when youre tore up drunk and stumbling. when you really think about it, its pretty nasty. fucking meat shavings off this compressed tube of pig lips and cow assholes or whatever that shit is. but ooooooooweeee that shit is nice on a hangover. plus, if youre single its your last chance to shagadabada. of course, there's rarely any females at a kebab van and youre gonna have the stankiest garlic onion goatscrotum breath after eating them boner doggs. but hey, that never stopped anyone!
Comments
oh shit. ive been here more times than i care to admit.
alright, look. i lived around the corner. you know, id tie one on at the alley, even sometimes the serenader. btw, the serenader is the shit. ive heard some great music there. not none of this no caps no sneaks no colors shit up the street at kingmans. but i digress.
dudes, look. its fucking gross to eat here. i mean, the whole kitchen is pretty much built off the deep fryer. dude will walk over to the deep fryer with a cookie sheet and fish you out some fried chicken, corn dogs, fish patties, etc. when you get an order of fries, the bag it comes in is practically wasting away on account of it being saturated with oil. im talking oil juice squirting out of your fries when you bite down on that shit.
but fuck you all. i like the corn dogs. theyre tasty. when youre drunk. and its late. and every place else is closed. well, that's not true. the best chicken and waffle ive ever had is right around the corner too, but you cant beat them kwik way prices. and i'll be goddamned if im paying merritt bakery night prices dammit!
anyways, there it is. plaese to be really drunk if you ever go. oh, and try the corn dogs. the batter's made from miller high life. i think
this is the theory, but no one really knows the source of a boner dog dogg.
that's all folks. now, i cant say this is the best taqueria i been to. but it definately aint the worst. in fact, i really really like their carnitas. but forget about me.
this joint looks like a giant tent. its next to this ugly art sculpture thing in the picture at the top and i dare say
you know how when you eat tacos and they marinate the shit out of the meat, and then you go to pee pee and it smells like asada? yeah, this is that kind of joint. they change their menu daily, which is nice. but fuck nice. this is the spot to go to if youre able to drive your drunk ass around LA.
tacos are $1
burritos are $3
like i said earlier, the carnitas is excellent, but on a drunken night, the carne asada burrito should sort you out. their asada is kinda on the salty side for my taste but it really helps flush out all that alcohol and you can straight grub to your hearts content on the pickled carrots and peppers and they have that salvadorian cole slaw stuff too. late night grub in LA is no joke.
Shig, you are so fucking awesome dude. This thread had me literally LOLing by my lonesome right now. Fuck.
shawarma > gyro
w00t w00t
Not sure if this how they made all over the globe, but I heard some rediculous stories from shops here...
and ...
I remember seeing those in S.Korea. My buddy would get drunk, buy like 2 of them shits and then destroy them! I could never muster enough courage to eat one of those, regardless to how drunk I was.
are you from england? forget about what they put in them boner doggs, what's the deal with the teeny tiny lil shots of whiskey?
anyways,
HELL RAMEN[/b]
i remember it clearly. sendai, japan. 2000. after the legal [yes, legal] magic mushrooms i ate wore off, and i was trying to make it through the night on suntory whiskey, i met some ozzie corndogger from like perth or somewheres and he bet me 5000 yen i couldnt finish a bowl of jigoku ramen [aka HELL RAMEN[/b]]
sheeeeitt motherfuckers aint never heard of grandpa shig down under and i got a reputation to protect.
now, kiddies, see i make the mistakes so you dont have to.
mistake #1
dont make wagers when you are drunk. youll be dumb enough to try and win. and chances are youre just as screwed if you win or lose.
mistake #2
dont drink suntory whiskey. ever. nasty shit. and i like the nasty shit. but this is on a whole nother level.
mistake #3
dont drink whiskey and eat spicy greasy noodles and seaweed at the same time. ever hear of FIRE SHITS[/b]? yeah, well its when you drink a lot of alcohol and then chase it with spicy foods. the next morning youll shit fire. really, youll shit fire on whiskey alone, but i doubled down and added some hot as fuck spicy hell noodles and the shit hurt so bad my legs went numb.
mistake #4
dont fall asleep in a japanese toilet. alright, i dont condone using them french ass faucet thingies, but my ass was on fire and that lil splash of water on my cornhole felt like god himself was tossing my salad. anyways, i fell asleep on my japanese toilet and felt like i got third degree burns from the toilet heater. yes, the toilet seats in japan are heated.
anyways, ramen is the after "da crab" grub. just get the regular shit though. its really hearty and all that. just dont fuck with that hell ramen.
And then there's the 3am Taco.
Seriously though, thats the BEST time to eat one of those. If you'll eat only a single kebap in your lifetime make it after some crazy ass party.
If you're a realhead and cant take that disgusting meat in the kebap, get a turkish pizza with falaffels. Don't forget the HOT SAUCE!!!
Nah, I live in Germany.
HELL RELL[/b], bitch
Looks good, I :heart: exotic food. Pakis, Japanese, Koreans know their shit...
ever hear of FIRE SHITS[/b]
I always look back at the day that happened and then remember how ILL the night was.
Illest restaurant, I had beef with peanutsauce and shitake shrooms and like 4 chillies!!!!!
I was on my way to work the next morning and after about 10 minutes in the bus and the worst stomach burns I've ever had I took the next bus back home to make it back to the beloved toilet just in time... to sum it up :
FIRE SHITS is the worst thing EVER YO.. [/b]
i fell asleep on my japanese toilet and felt like i got third degree burns from the toilet heater. Shit homie, you just had me bursting out in laughter close to falling off my chair.
I ate some ill chinese in Paris with homie Baptman. I hope you show me an other ill spot when I come back next year, foo!!
I really need to get to Japan though.
I have a thing for Japanese Soundtracks, Japanese Flicks, Japanese chicks,..
Too bad them flights are so mad expensive, not to mention finding a place to crash for lowcost and still live central...
...some day perhaps....