I lived in house in Flint that had some super white trash neighbors. Always had a budweiser in any of they hands.
Anyway, dude would come over at ANY time. 7am, 10am, noon,etc. Well one day, I get home from work (bartender) about 4 a.m. I need to go to bed, so to relax me i decide to fuckin jerk-off. Well, about mid jerk, dude straight walks into my room. "hey whats up man, what are you doing?" "Dude, get the fuck out, im jerkin off damn" "Lets go somewhere and do something, im bored" "GET THE FUCK OUT!"
he left. The next day he had no idea about the whole thing.
Damn, I was expecting a kind of happy ending. Something like "since that day we had a relationship that's going stronger with each day" or something.
Another story. Before moving to the suburbs we lived in downtown Buenos Aires, in this huge aparments building, lots of small apartments. A fucking human zoo. One morning before going to work me and my then gf had our piece of morning love. I took a shower and left. I'm waiting for the elevator and then comes this hooker that I ran into every morning. As we are going down in the elevator she says "It smells like sex in here, doesn't it?"
my neighbor (to the right) is the best neighbor ever. she's this 60 year old lady who loves getting high and drinking 40s, kicks it with a 30 year old dude, has two awesome dogs that she lets me steal sometimes, does modeling on the side, and has an audition for a pilot for the disney channel this weekend. she's cool as fuck. sometimes we go down the street for beers in the middle of the week, and then i play records loud for her and she totally digs it. there's always something going down at her house. i was there yesterday afternoon, and there was a knock at the door, and she saw the car out the window, and it was this lady who she says is always coming over to mooch off her weed and money, who she thinks is on meth, so we whispered in the kitchen while this lady repeatedly knocked and yelled for her. finally she went away.
anyways, i nominate her for best neighbor in the universe.
My old neighbors in philly were the worst. Dude introduced himself to me as "a after hours techno Dj." So him and his boyfriend would play techno remixes of Cher and shit from like 4 in the moring untill 7, and when we would tell them to shut the fuck up they would accuse us of hatting on their gayness. They were also always on E and coke so trying to rationalize with them was horrible. I ended up just staying at my girlfriends apartment a lot, but my roomate was in several heated arguments with them. One time he told them he didnt care if they were fucking goats he wanted them to shut the fuck up. It sucked because before they moved in I really liked my apartment. When I moved out I wanted some revenge. They both rode bikes everywhere and kept the bikes in the building hallway. Late at night I went down and removed the bike seats and put two cans of sardines inside each bike frame. Shit stunk even before it rotted. I hated those assholes.
Hmmm. OK when I lived in Berkeley I lived next two a Vietnamese family, they had done really well for themselves to afford the house but kept ghetto as fuck tendencies with broken down cars in the front yard , back yard, constantly being worked on, there was a garage will all sorts of shady dudes with big hair and sunglasses and trenchcoats coming and going at all hours. The son and daughter were in school with me, I knew the son vaguely and slept with the daughter a number of times. Nice folks though.
On the other side was a professor and his wife and baby and teenage kid, the kid bought my music, and because of many large windows caught me smoking, drinking, and humping numerous times, and from all accounts thought that I was the coolest shit in the world. Neither neighbor complained about music except once or twice. The professor kind of creeped me out but I think he was just socially awkward.
In Oakland I had a downstairs neighbor that would not allow me to play ANY music. I was playing everything on a caliphone turntable at the time, not exactly Slow Loud And Banging, but he would come upstairs talking all sorts of mess about how his baby had to sleep. I was glad this ended quickly, as I moved out. I had kids in the neighborhood where the younger ones would be out all day setting off firecrackers and fucking around and the older ones would icegrill me around the way. They were all kind of toyish though, it was a soft Oakland neighborhood and of course they never gave me any problems.
In San Francisco I have never really known my neighbors, one was a dot com guy who had this bunk music commentary website (blog predecessor) that he swore was a money maker. HA HA HA! Anyways there is also the biker queen who fixes my dad's electrical and other house shit. He is tough as nails and queer as a three dollar bill.
In Harlem I lived with my g/f's family in the Douglass Houses and it was actually pretty chill, I could smoke blunts in the stairway and except for the chicken bones and occasional piss it was fairly tidy. I heard mad drama out the window though. Me and my girl broke up and she wilded out and tried to fight me, jumping and clawing and swinging and yelling. Her mother woke up and ran out with a baseball bat, I had to pack up and leave that night.
I moved further uptown with a couple of my boys and lived upstairs from my super's kid, who was my age. Me and all my roommates used to invite him up to smoke, because we were 19 and thought that was cool. I had a roommate that found himself and dropped out of school and moved to a farm, we replaced him with another friend that lost his marbles and shot up the entire living room with a bb gun (pellet holes everywhere). The one roommate that was around as long as I was painted his entire room as a skyscape with clouds and everything, he was a very talented painter so it came off and was very chill. We had an old Black couple upstairs - they fed us every holiday because they knew we were all eating ramen and shit. One day the husband had a stroke, and was very ill... we went upstairs to chill with the wife and it was very depressing and awkward, but it was crazy to listen to the stories she told. They had been together for like 60 years, that is insane. She knew him back and forth and it was really like she couldn't figure out how to do anything without him. Sad. One day when I was on vacation in Cali the super's son stole a bunch of my shit because my roommate had picked my lock so he could watch TV (it was in my room). My roommate found out and chased the dude down, yoked him up and got my mixer out of hock at the pawnshop, unfortunately he did not know about the Strat... we moved out soon after that. We were never evicted but somehow I had an eviction for this residence until last year. This was waaay before Harlem started gentrifying and our landlords were scum of the fucking earth, the place was worse than the projects I was in before, thin walls, rats, roaches, etc so it didn't surprise me that they did some shady shit like filing an eviction notice after we left. It was really not all good up there for the white man I lived with spanish kids and tried to pass. Anyone who knows uptown knows, Manhattanville Houses is gully and I had NYU folks who wouldn't even come uptown to check us. One guy made me walk him from the train. I saw some guy pistol whip his girl across the street. Crack all over the place. There was a great pizzeria on 133rd & Amsterdam with the biggest slice for $1, I lived off that shit and there were great weedspots on every block. One time an apartment in Manhattanville Project exploded because dude left the gas on, my windowshade was sucked all the way into my room and then blown out onto the street by the force.
I moved to the Bronx after that, and it was super chill. It was generally peaceful, I had all kinds of hot women in the building. Bronx prewar apartments are generally really nice if they're kept up, I had hardwood floors, different levels (it was a studio), arches, side rooms, at this time my entire collection fit in a tiny walk in closet lol. Some guy lept about 3 feet from my 6th floor fire escape into an open window to steal my 4 track. Crackheads are crazy! I never knew my side neighbors but I had two interesting downstairs neighbors - one dude, who I genuinely felt sorry for, who worked all day and would plead from below my floor to turn the music down. One time it was early, like 8 or 9, and I was like "no", he was like "fuuuuuuuuccck yooooooouuuuu!" That shit was funny. Then he left and some Jamaican drug dudes moved in, and it was Ja Rule and DMX all day every day so loud you could hear it in the lobby from the 5th floor. It was terrible, all hours of the night. This was right before I left. You couldn't really talk to them because they were killers.
My first place in Brooklyn was right under the Gowanus Expressway. It was owned by this crazy family, the Torreses. Mr. Torres was out of his mind, always sweeping and whistling and had this insanely squeeky voice and any problem would be "talk to my wife" or "talk to my daughter". We asked him to replace the lenolium because it was ripping and he said he would put down carpet. Then we came home and more linolium was stapled onto the place where it had ripped! He had two daughters, one who was really cute and one who you could see had a stick up her ass from a block away. She was always the problem, whether it was noise or a dog in the building (my roommate's girlfriend's), or Black people (who they didn't like), or whatever. The cute one lived across the hall from us and was always cool. Downstairs was a succession of people, there were two Japanese couples, knew no English whatsoever, totally antisocial, wouldn't even acknowledge you were there but they were very quiet. Then our boys Ewok and Cesar moved in, Cesar also brought his girlfriend who I think heard about the place from one of the other Japanese that had lived there, she was also Japanese and did not speak English very well but we chilled out with them a lot. One time Cesar smelled reefer smoke and climbed up the fire escape and banged on the window, we were freaked the fuck out! Then there he is all grinning and shit. There was this BOMB ass bodega across the street that had all kinds of cooked food, we lived on that for two years. The bodega was owned by another (?) group of Torreses who fell out with the first and apparently the son of the Bodega Torreses (Eddie) stabbed the son of the apartment Torreses. We never saw our landlord's son, aparently he wasn't allowed on the block anymore. Eddie was the coolest mofo ever, he would come get high with us, hook us up with food, let us drink Heinekens in the deli and shoot the shit. We'd watch Yankees games and just fuck around. There was this real weird guy named Dennis who also hung out at the bodega and was a former cop and a vet and worked at home depot, and we're not really sure if he wa
s any of these things. He took a shine to me and was generally scary, but we figured he was harmless. A sweet lady named Nilda ran the bodega and would preach to us even though she knew we was jews and was always real chill about giving us credit or whatever when we were short. This bad ass 15 year old with a baby worked there too, she was always trying to holler and actually I think dissed my g/f at one point. By the time I left she had another baby on the way.
Now I live in a two-family, my downstairs neighbor is really weird but seems nice. She wears layers and layers of sweats and fleeces in the summer, beanies and puffy coats. It's really weird. I could be out in a wifebeater and shorts and she will have all this down shit on. She is very socially awkward and I think very lonely. She joins clubs and takes classes in dance and stuff to occupy her time. She has a terrible stutter and is a speech pathologist! My neighbor to one side is a very tough white motherfucker who is definitely into some questionable shit. He rides a harley and does "construction". I asked him to do something for the record store and he said "I only do construction in Brooklyn." uh.... ok. His wife suns in the backyard all day and reads magazines. There is a Puerto Rican family on the other side, a mother and two sons. The sons are my age and seem cool, we say what's up but don't really talk, they have gelled hair and armani glasses and wear turtlenecks with immaculately groomed goatees. The mother is very sweet and I think she is on the market for a man. There is one guy who comes over with wine and last time he stayed the night! I was happy for her. Now they are doing renovation and I have occasionally had to tell the Mexicans to calm down with the hammers at 8am. My landlord is a narc who has never told us what he does (we found out). He has all kinds of shady shit going on because it is a neighborhood with mafia, off duty cops, transit, con ed folks all doing dirt. We occasionally get bills from Con Ed where it says there was a "called in" reading and all of a sudden we owe $300. I always give them a new reading and it's back to normal. The agent that rented the house to us also lives on the block and is a wise guy of some sort. He is chill though and I feel very safe in the neighborhood. There is zero crime and no bullshit. We used to have neighbors that lived in the basement but the block is not zoned for basement apartments... they did not get along with a previous tenant and that tenant ratted them out, all of a sudden they were forced to leave in like a week. I think our landlord helped them buy a house in Staten Island.
my next door neighbour in toronto is a former mafia Don dude. He's living the good life now, but still makes all his calls at a payphone on the corner, and his son is still muscle for collecting $$$ around the way. Dude is super nice to us.... hooks us up with free cable, comes by for a drink now and then and hits on my one roomate who is 1/3 his age.
Some of the clientele that pull up are priceless. I've never seen so many fresh looking 70 year olds as i have in the past 6 months.
His muscle son is a meathead though.
I'm down the street... But hangin in lil portugal. I sometimes wonder if my landloads are down... Cause, they got things on lock in my area.
So let's just preface this by saying I live in a quaint lil' farming community of 12,000 just outside of the Twin Cities. I just moved into a downtown apt. above a chiropractic joint. My boy owns the building and is mad cool, which reminds me I have to pay rent. All the people who live in my building are quite cool, a few couples w/ little ones, etc, etc. I have no beef with any one in my building, it's the one next to mine that freaks me out. Sooooo, two doors down, above a appliance store lives an interesting family. Mom, Dad, two sons, and a daughter, Parents in their 40s/50s boys 17/15 girl 14. They also have any number of hoodlums staying w/ them. Hoodlums are standing outside the apt. door at all hours. When I get up at 8 am dude is out there, when I go home for lunch dude is out there, when I come home at 4 am dude is out there! Hangs out with various strung out 14 yr old girls, holds down the block with big hunting knives in his hand (in plain view, did mention the police station is across the street). So I'm always trying to be cool with dude, we say hey, chat about the weather, whatever, seems cool and I want to be cool with my neighbors, don't need any of that drama. So one real early morn, or late night I'm wandering home and dude is out there w/ the fetal alcohol looking teen chick and he asks "Hey man wanna get your dick sucked?" and glances over and ol' girl she gives me this strung out as hell dead stare and I say "nah man, no thanks". I go home, so the next day I'm chillin' in the apt. and the art student girl who lived in my unit before came over to fuck and I was all "what's up w/ the dudes one building over?" She tells me that she asked around and evidently they are dealing alot of meth, and anything else you want up to and including teenage girls, well this kinda bugged me. I don't need this shit on my block. I start noticing things like people crossing the street before they walk past their apt., garbage everywhere by their shit hole (did I mention it is a shit hole, well it is), people getting pistol whipped and beaten w/ bats in the alley behind the building. Not fun stuff you want on your block. So the other day I see mom and dad for the first time, Dad is rocking a Molly Hatchet shirt (the one w/ the sweet barbarian cover) and a fishing pole and mom is the worst case of meth bingeing I've ever seen, frail sunken eyes, no teeth. She actually scared me, I thought I was looking at death. I watch them go up the stairs and glance up after them, what do I see but none other than a fucking domed mirror and a fucking closed circut camera so they can see who's comeing up the fucking stairs! Serious. So this is pretty much where I'm at today, fucking creeped out by the shit my neighbors do, sucks. Oh yeah, the cops have been there thrice in the last week, ambulance once. I wish they'd leave, for real. A business owner on the block talked to the cops and all they said was "well if you don't file a complaint w/ the witness here there's not much we can do", lazy fucks, second highest paid force in Wisco too. But seriously, what the fuck is this world coming to when parents are letting their kids do this shit, out of their house no less, sick just fucking sick. Those kids have no life ahead of them. I almost feel bad.
On a lighter note, directly across the street from me is the "hot" night club in town and on fri and sat nights the crowd spills out and hangs in the street being loud till like 3 am. I don't mind, sometimes i'm in the crowd, but I really like to watch from my windows. See some sweet shit, get flashed, watch fights, invite up girls, so it ain't all bad.
Lived on 25th and Alabama in the Mission (SF) in 95-96, shit was crazy. I was a security guard down at the GAP headquarters so I used to take the 14 Mission (impossible) bus to work for my swingshift. Got off work at like 11:30, took the 14 mission home and had to walk a few blocks (more than a few)in a outfit that looked like a cop. that was always fun. old school vatos were always cool, they'd give me a heads up where shit happened, and where to avoid the new school kids with something to prove.
Lived in Palo Alto in a shithole apartment that went from 650.00 to 1400.00 during the Silicon Valley boom in a year and a half. Alcoholic dad downstairs with 2 kids, 4 and 6. Mom nowhere to be seen. Kids wake up in the AM and yell "FUCK YOU DAD"...."SHUT UP DAD"...."YOUR A FAG DAD, FUCK YOU". It got better once moms got released and starting turning tricks for crack downstairs...loved hearing that.
Now, we live in a small town outside of Charlottesville, VA in a development with neighbors that are the nicest folks ever.
I go home, so the next day I'm chillin' in the apt. and the art student girl who lived in my unit before came over to fuck
I think everyone here now has new standards of what to look for in an apartment.
Yeah, it's a pretty sweet bonus. I didn't even know her a month ago, met her when she was moving out and I was moving in. She kicked the door shut and did me right there on the floor, boxes and shit everywhere.
My downstairs neighbor, Bill, is kind of crazy-looking guy. Losing his hair and teeth. Turns out it's due to Agent Orange exposure when he was in Vietnam. He's also diabetic, so he's got all sorts of health problems going on. I found this out one day as I was sitting on my front stoop smoking the remains of a hand-rolled cigarette. He says he can hear me coughing late at night when I'm smoking greenery, asks if I can smell the weed he's growing in his apartment (I definitely can), and casually pulls out a joint, fires it up, and passes it over. Says his doctor's always bitching at him about smoking weed, but then offers to write him a medical marijuana prescription. "Fuck that shit!" he says. "I don't need no fuckin' prescription to tell me I can get high!"
Really cool guy, though. Only complained about music volume once, and since then I've done my best to keep it low or work in headphones. He also grabs any packages mailed to me and holds onto them so they aren't just sitting in the hallway, which is pretty cool. Also warns me when I'm about to get a parking ticket on street sweeping day.
Also, he's got the ill stories about who used to live in my apartment. Two tenants before me was, as he termed it, a "crazy lesbian and her crazy lesbian band." Drums, cello, violin, and triangle. He said the music sucked, and he tried to cope, but they would be practicing at like 5 in the morning. Plus, people were constantly kicking over the cymbal stands.
After the girl moved out, a couple moved in. The husband liked to beat his wife. If Bill can hear me coughing through the floor, he damn sure can hear a guy beating his wife. So the guy is really whaling on his wife (what a big man!), and Bill goes upstairs and knocks on the door. The guy answers, Bill asks to see his wife. At first the guy says no, then says Bill can come in and see her. "I'm no idiot," Bill says as he tell the story. "If I go in there, I'm crossing the line, but if he comes out into the hallway...." The guy does come out into the hallway. And takes a swing at Bill. Bill the kinda-angry Vietnam vet. "You go into the army, and they teach you to kill, but they don't teach you to not kill once you're out." You know what happens next. Bill grabs the guy by the throat, slams him up against the wall, and whips the shit out of this guy. Fists of rage, yo. Finally, some other neighbors come out into the hallway and separate Bill and the other guy. The guy keeps wanting to rush Bill, and Bill keeps saying, "Let him come at me!" See, Bill stays strapped with a big-ass army knife, and as he put it, "That asshole charges me, I'm sinkin' my blade all the way in his gut." The neighbors managed to get the other guy back in his apartment (which he moved out of shortly thereafter), and that was the end of it, but still.
Comments
nope. I was just used and forgotton about.
One morning before going to work me and my then gf had our piece of morning love. I took a shower and left. I'm waiting for the elevator and then comes this hooker that I ran into every morning. As we are going down in the elevator she says "It smells like sex in here, doesn't it?"
anyways, i nominate her for best neighbor in the universe.
as "a
play techno remixes of Cher and shit from like 4 in the moring untill 7, and when we would tell them to shut the fuck up they would accuse us of hatting on their gayness. They were also always on E and coke so trying to rationalize with them was horrible. I ended up just staying at my girlfriends apartment a lot, but my roomate was in several heated arguments with them. One time he told them he didnt care if they were fucking goats he wanted them to shut the fuck up. It sucked because before they moved in I really liked my apartment. When I moved out I wanted some revenge. They both rode bikes everywhere and kept the bikes in the building hallway. Late at night I went down and removed the bike seats and put two cans of sardines inside each bike frame. Shit stunk even before it rotted. I hated those assholes.
Hmmm. OK when I lived in Berkeley I lived next two a Vietnamese family, they had done really well for themselves to afford the house but kept ghetto as fuck tendencies with broken down cars in the front yard , back yard, constantly being worked on, there was a garage will all sorts of shady dudes with big hair and sunglasses and trenchcoats coming and going at all hours. The son and daughter were in school with me, I knew the son vaguely and slept with the daughter a number of times. Nice folks though.
On the other side was a professor and his wife and baby and teenage kid, the kid bought my music, and because of many large windows caught me smoking, drinking, and humping numerous times, and from all accounts thought that I was the coolest shit in the world. Neither neighbor complained about music except once or twice. The professor kind of creeped me out but I think he was just socially awkward.
In Oakland I had a downstairs neighbor that would not allow me to play ANY music. I was playing everything on a caliphone turntable at the time, not exactly Slow Loud And Banging, but he would come upstairs talking all sorts of mess about how his baby had to sleep. I was glad this ended quickly, as I moved out. I had kids in the neighborhood where the younger ones would be out all day setting off firecrackers and fucking around and the older ones would icegrill me around the way. They were all kind of toyish though, it was a soft Oakland neighborhood and of course they never gave me any problems.
In San Francisco I have never really known my neighbors, one was a dot com guy who had this bunk music commentary website (blog predecessor) that he swore was a money maker. HA HA HA! Anyways there is also the biker queen who fixes my dad's electrical and other house shit. He is tough as nails and queer as a three dollar bill.
In Harlem I lived with my g/f's family in the Douglass Houses and it was actually pretty chill, I could smoke blunts in the stairway and except for the chicken bones and occasional piss it was fairly tidy. I heard mad drama out the window though. Me and my girl broke up and she wilded out and tried to fight me, jumping and clawing and swinging and yelling. Her mother woke up and ran out with a baseball bat, I had to pack up and leave that night.
I moved further uptown with a couple of my boys and lived upstairs from my super's kid, who was my age. Me and all my roommates used to invite him up to smoke, because we were 19 and thought that was cool. I had a roommate that found himself and dropped out of school and moved to a farm, we replaced him with another friend that lost his marbles and shot up the entire living room with a bb gun (pellet holes everywhere). The one roommate that was around as long as I was painted his entire room as a skyscape with clouds and everything, he was a very talented painter so it came off and was very chill. We had an old Black couple upstairs - they fed us every holiday because they knew we were all eating ramen and shit. One day the husband had a stroke, and was very ill... we went upstairs to chill with the wife and it was very depressing and awkward, but it was crazy to listen to the stories she told. They had been together for like 60 years, that is insane. She knew him back and forth and it was really like she couldn't figure out how to do anything without him. Sad. One day when I was on vacation in Cali the super's son stole a bunch of my shit because my roommate had picked my lock so he could watch TV (it was in my room). My roommate found out and chased the dude down, yoked him up and got my mixer out of hock at the pawnshop, unfortunately he did not know about the Strat... we moved out soon after that. We were never evicted but somehow I had an eviction for this residence until last year. This was waaay before Harlem started gentrifying and our landlords were scum of the fucking earth, the place was worse than the projects I was in before, thin walls, rats, roaches, etc so it didn't surprise me that they did some shady shit like filing an eviction notice after we left. It was really not all good up there for the white man I lived with spanish kids and tried to pass. Anyone who knows uptown knows, Manhattanville Houses is gully and I had NYU folks who wouldn't even come uptown to check us. One guy made me walk him from the train. I saw some guy pistol whip his girl across the street. Crack all over the place. There was a great pizzeria on 133rd & Amsterdam with the biggest slice for $1, I lived off that shit and there were great weedspots on every block. One time an apartment in Manhattanville Project exploded because dude left the gas on, my windowshade was sucked all the way into my room and then blown out onto the street by the force.
I moved to the Bronx after that, and it was super chill. It was generally peaceful, I had all kinds of hot women in the building. Bronx prewar apartments are generally really nice if they're kept up, I had hardwood floors, different levels (it was a studio), arches, side rooms, at this time my entire collection fit in a tiny walk in closet lol. Some guy lept about 3 feet from my 6th floor fire escape into an open window to steal my 4 track. Crackheads are crazy! I never knew my side neighbors but I had two interesting downstairs neighbors - one dude, who I genuinely felt sorry for, who worked all day and would plead from below my floor to turn the music down. One time it was early, like 8 or 9, and I was like "no", he was like "fuuuuuuuuccck yooooooouuuuu!" That shit was funny. Then he left and some Jamaican drug dudes moved in, and it was Ja Rule and DMX all day every day so loud you could hear it in the lobby from the 5th floor. It was terrible, all hours of the night. This was right before I left. You couldn't really talk to them because they were killers.
My first place in Brooklyn was right under the Gowanus Expressway. It was owned by this crazy family, the Torreses. Mr. Torres was out of his mind, always sweeping and whistling and had this insanely squeeky voice and any problem would be "talk to my wife" or "talk to my daughter". We asked him to replace the lenolium because it was ripping and he said he would put down carpet. Then we came home and more linolium was stapled onto the place where it had ripped! He had two daughters, one who was really cute and one who you could see had a stick up her ass from a block away. She was always the problem, whether it was noise or a dog in the building (my roommate's girlfriend's), or Black people (who they didn't like), or whatever. The cute one lived across the hall from us and was always cool. Downstairs was a succession of people, there were two Japanese couples, knew no English whatsoever, totally antisocial, wouldn't even acknowledge you were there but they were very quiet. Then our boys Ewok and Cesar moved in, Cesar also brought his girlfriend who I think heard about the place from one of the other Japanese that had lived there, she was also Japanese and did not speak English very well but we chilled out with them a lot. One time Cesar smelled reefer smoke and climbed up the fire escape and banged on the window, we were freaked the fuck out! Then there he is all grinning and shit. There was this BOMB ass bodega across the street that had all kinds of cooked food, we lived on that for two years. The bodega was owned by another (?) group of Torreses who fell out with the first and apparently the son of the Bodega Torreses (Eddie) stabbed the son of the apartment Torreses. We never saw our landlord's son, aparently he wasn't allowed on the block anymore. Eddie was the coolest mofo ever, he would come get high with us, hook us up with food, let us drink Heinekens in the deli and shoot the shit. We'd watch Yankees games and just fuck around. There was this real weird guy named Dennis who also hung out at the bodega and was a former cop and a vet and worked at home depot, and we're not really sure if he wa s any of these things. He took a shine to me and was generally scary, but we figured he was harmless. A sweet lady named Nilda ran the bodega and would preach to us even though she knew we was jews and was always real chill about giving us credit or whatever when we were short. This bad ass 15 year old with a baby worked there too, she was always trying to holler and actually I think dissed my g/f at one point. By the time I left she had another baby on the way.
Now I live in a two-family, my downstairs neighbor is really weird but seems nice. She wears layers and layers of sweats and fleeces in the summer, beanies and puffy coats. It's really weird. I could be out in a wifebeater and shorts and she will have all this down shit on. She is very socially awkward and I think very lonely. She joins clubs and takes classes in dance and stuff to occupy her time. She has a terrible stutter and is a speech pathologist! My neighbor to one side is a very tough white motherfucker who is definitely into some questionable shit. He rides a harley and does "construction". I asked him to do something for the record store and he said "I only do construction in Brooklyn." uh.... ok. His wife suns in the backyard all day and reads magazines. There is a Puerto Rican family on the other side, a mother and two sons. The sons are my age and seem cool, we say what's up but don't really talk, they have gelled hair and armani glasses and wear turtlenecks with immaculately groomed goatees. The mother is very sweet and I think she is on the market for a man. There is one guy who comes over with wine and last time he stayed the night! I was happy for her. Now they are doing renovation and I have occasionally had to tell the Mexicans to calm down with the hammers at 8am. My landlord is a narc who has never told us what he does (we found out). He has all kinds of shady shit going on because it is a neighborhood with mafia, off duty cops, transit, con ed folks all doing dirt. We occasionally get bills from Con Ed where it says there was a "called in" reading and all of a sudden we owe $300. I always give them a new reading and it's back to normal. The agent that rented the house to us also lives on the block and is a wise guy of some sort. He is chill though and I feel very safe in the neighborhood. There is zero crime and no bullshit. We used to have neighbors that lived in the basement but the block is not zoned for basement apartments... they did not get along with a previous tenant and that tenant ratted them out, all of a sudden they were forced to leave in like a week. I think our landlord helped them buy a house in Staten Island.
these are the people in your neighborhood
I'm down the street... But hangin in lil portugal. I sometimes wonder if my landloads are down... Cause, they got things on lock in my area.
So let's just preface this by saying I live in a quaint lil' farming community of 12,000 just outside of the Twin Cities. I just moved into a downtown apt. above a chiropractic joint. My boy owns the building and is mad cool, which reminds me I have to pay rent. All the people who live in my building are quite cool, a few couples w/ little ones, etc, etc. I have no beef with any one in my building, it's the one next to mine that freaks me out. Sooooo, two doors down, above a appliance store lives an interesting family. Mom, Dad, two sons, and a daughter, Parents in their 40s/50s boys 17/15 girl 14. They also have any number of hoodlums staying w/ them. Hoodlums are standing outside the apt. door at all hours. When I get up at 8 am dude is out there, when I go home for lunch dude is out there, when I come home at 4 am dude is out there! Hangs out with various strung out 14 yr old girls, holds down the block with big hunting knives in his hand (in plain view, did mention the police station is across the street). So I'm always trying to be cool with dude, we say hey, chat about the weather, whatever, seems cool and I want to be cool with my neighbors, don't need any of that drama. So one real early morn, or late night I'm wandering home and dude is out there w/ the fetal alcohol looking teen chick and he asks "Hey man wanna get your dick sucked?" and glances over and ol' girl she gives me this strung out as hell dead stare and I say "nah man, no thanks". I go home, so the next day I'm chillin' in the apt. and the art student girl who lived in my unit before came over to fuck and I was all "what's up w/ the dudes one building over?" She tells me that she asked around and evidently they are dealing alot of meth, and anything else you want up to and including teenage girls, well this kinda bugged me. I don't need this shit on my block. I start noticing things like people crossing the street before they walk past their apt., garbage everywhere by their shit hole (did I mention it is a shit hole, well it is), people getting pistol whipped and beaten w/ bats in the alley behind the building. Not fun stuff you want on your block. So the other day I see mom and dad for the first time, Dad is rocking a Molly Hatchet shirt (the one w/ the sweet barbarian cover) and a fishing pole and mom is the worst case of meth bingeing I've ever seen, frail sunken eyes, no teeth. She actually scared me, I thought I was looking at death. I watch them go up the stairs and glance up after them, what do I see but none other than a fucking domed mirror and a fucking closed circut camera so they can see who's comeing up the fucking stairs! Serious. So this is pretty much where I'm at today, fucking creeped out by the shit my neighbors do, sucks. Oh yeah, the cops have been there thrice in the last week, ambulance once. I wish they'd leave, for real. A business owner on the block talked to the cops and all they said was "well if you don't file a complaint w/ the witness here there's not much we can do", lazy fucks, second highest paid force in Wisco too. But seriously, what the fuck is this world coming to when parents are letting their kids do this shit, out of their house no less, sick just fucking sick. Those kids have no life ahead of them. I almost feel bad.
On a lighter note, directly across the street from me is the "hot" night club in town and on fri and sat nights the crowd spills out and hangs in the street being loud till like 3 am. I don't mind, sometimes i'm in the crowd, but I really like to watch from my windows. See some sweet shit, get flashed, watch fights, invite up girls, so it ain't all bad.
Ha Ha. LOL Paycheck is that dude!
I think everyone here now has new standards of what to look for in an apartment.
Lived on 25th and Alabama in the Mission (SF) in 95-96, shit was crazy. I was a security guard down at the GAP headquarters so I used to take the 14 Mission (impossible) bus to work for my swingshift. Got off work at like 11:30, took the 14 mission home and had to walk a few blocks (more than a few)in a outfit that looked like a cop. that was always fun. old school vatos were always cool, they'd give me a heads up where shit happened, and where to avoid the new school kids with something to prove.
Lived in Palo Alto in a shithole apartment that went from 650.00 to 1400.00 during the Silicon Valley boom in a year and a half. Alcoholic dad downstairs with 2 kids, 4 and 6. Mom nowhere to be seen. Kids wake up in the AM and yell "FUCK YOU DAD"...."SHUT UP DAD"...."YOUR A FAG DAD, FUCK YOU". It got better once moms got released and starting turning tricks for crack downstairs...loved hearing that.
Now, we live in a small town outside of Charlottesville, VA in a development with neighbors that are the nicest folks ever.
Yeah, it's a pretty sweet bonus. I didn't even know her a month ago, met her when she was moving out and I was moving in. She kicked the door shut and did me right there on the floor, boxes and shit everywhere.
Really cool guy, though. Only complained about music volume once, and since then I've done my best to keep it low or work in headphones. He also grabs any packages mailed to me and holds onto them so they aren't just sitting in the hallway, which is pretty cool. Also warns me when I'm about to get a parking ticket on street sweeping day.
Also, he's got the ill stories about who used to live in my apartment. Two tenants before me was, as he termed it, a "crazy lesbian and her crazy lesbian band." Drums, cello, violin, and triangle. He said the music sucked, and he tried to cope, but they would be practicing at like 5 in the morning. Plus, people were constantly kicking over the cymbal stands.
After the girl moved out, a couple moved in. The husband liked to beat his wife. If Bill can hear me coughing through the floor, he damn sure can hear a guy beating his wife. So the guy is really whaling on his wife (what a big man!), and Bill goes upstairs and knocks on the door. The guy answers, Bill asks to see his wife. At first the guy says no, then says Bill can come in and see her. "I'm no idiot," Bill says as he tell the story. "If I go in there, I'm crossing the line, but if he comes out into the hallway...." The guy does come out into the hallway. And takes a swing at Bill. Bill the kinda-angry Vietnam vet. "You go into the army, and they teach you to kill, but they don't teach you to not kill once you're out." You know what happens next. Bill grabs the guy by the throat, slams him up against the wall, and whips the shit out of this guy. Fists of rage, yo. Finally, some other neighbors come out into the hallway and separate Bill and the other guy. The guy keeps wanting to rush Bill, and Bill keeps saying, "Let him come at me!" See, Bill stays strapped with a big-ass army knife, and as he put it, "That asshole charges me, I'm sinkin' my blade all the way in his gut." The neighbors managed to get the other guy back in his apartment (which he moved out of shortly thereafter), and that was the end of it, but still.