Your Neighbors (NRR)
hcrink
8,729 Posts
So, I don't have it bad, I guess. I live in an apartment, but have only one immediate neighbor. and best of all, no one lives above me. Neighbors are strange though. I suppose anyone you see a lot of but don't really know would seem this way. And I don't go outta my way to meet people. I meet enough strange people just being strange myself without making any effort.But anyhow, I live next to a girl & her baby. I think she is younger than me, but she seems extremely weathered & tough, like she's been in prison. Anyhow, she's nice enough when I see her, but she kinda scares me. Maybe she scares her baby too, cause the poor little dude never cries. It's a very quiet baby. spooky almost. I've learned quite a bit about here though cause she spends all day talking on the phone standing right outside of her front door, which is near my window. She is one of the only people I've encountered that uses the word fuck more than myself. She swears like a dockworker. But, like I said, I really can't complain. It could be a lot worse.Let's hear about your neighbors...
Comments
maybe it's a $6,499 silicone baby?
my next door neighbour in toronto is a former mafia Don dude. He's living the good life now, but still makes all his calls at a payphone on the corner, and his son is still muscle for collecting $$$ around the way. Dude is super nice to us.... hooks us up with free cable, comes by for a drink now and then and hits on my one roomate who is 1/3 his age.
Some of the clientele that pull up are priceless. I've never seen so many fresh looking 70 year olds as i have in the past 6 months.
His muscle son is a meathead though.
Using information gleaned from overheard telephone conversations to take sexual advantage of a woman who has been dealt an unfortunate hand of cards by life isn't really the Crink style.
It's more like a NateBizzo move.
my neighbor is a fucking bitch.
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/241310_driveby19.html
check that post total hommies.
The guy who lives up above me has a little girl. She must be 3 or 4. She alway says things like "That's our neighbor!" or "Their house looks like ours!". Pops is probably younger than 30. He got in a big fight with the girls mom about a a year and a half ago. Screaming, yelling, throwing things. I don't think the little girl was around. Apparantly he got caught with another lady. In fact I remember someone running down the back stairwell that night before the girl's mom came home and started freaking out.
Every 3 or 4 months the mom gets drunk, comes by and starts a fight. The girl the guy left his woman for is named Jen. I know this because one of those nights the mom came over while Jen was up stairs. The mom kept yelling "Jen! Do you know you're ugly?" "He's my soul mate you bitch!" "Shut the fuck up Jen you're ugly." We had to call the cops because we were trying to watch a video.
Felipe lives next door. I think he owns the house he lives in which is rare in SF. In fact, I bet it's his family's. He must be close to 50 and never works. In fact he jokes about how he doesn't work. I think he's on disability for something, but I've never asked. I only talk to him when I'm putting my car in the garage and he is out washing or working on his truck. Felipe's house has a bunch of holes in the roof and he has to set buckets up all over the place when it rains. Sometimes, you can see in his front window. He doesn't have any drywall on his walls. It's all been ripped off. Just wood.
The other day Felipe told me about his days growing up in SF. His brother died when he was 40 something. He said his brother spent his day smoking crack and drinking 40s.
Felipe said Bill Graham was a mean motherfucker. They used to try to sneak into the Filmore and Bill Graham would chase them down the street. He'd kick their ass if they got caught. They saw all sorts of shows, but he said his buddies would always end up passing out in their own vomit from taking 'ludes. He once was given a ride by some guy that hung out with Sly Stone. Rolls Royce with gold trimmings.
Felipe and his sister would buy pounds of pot from Mexico and sell it. The bricks were all mashed up but really sticky in the middle. Felipe's cousin showed him some of the pot people smoke now a days. He was surprised there were'nt any seeds.
I've said too much.
I got out of bed and slammed the heel of my hand into the wall several times, and then *click* ...silence...
I felt kinda bad for telling her to STFU the butthole neighbor way, but I climbed back into bed. A few minutes later, the radio was back on again, at a little lower volume. I'm gonna wait and see what happens in the morning before I take any further action. But shit, her alarm does not have to be my alarm, too.
Our upstairs neighbours are total assholes. They work in bars and get home at 4 and party til 10. They've tossed shit off the deck and into the lane and nearly hit *a***. I don't even want to think what would have happened if they hit him or the neighbour's kid or a car or one of our cats. They leave garbage on the deck and toss garbage on the neighbour's roof. They totally fucked up and didn't mention that the folks down the lane were annoyed at our hedge and had asked for us to cut it. Because we didn't get the message and didn't deal with it ourselves, it got hacked so badly you could see right into our backyard. They're fucking nitwits and we've asked them to chill out with the all-night-three-times-a-week noise and respect working hours so many times, and because it's been futile, we've had to get the landlord involved. Bullshit.
There are really great people across the lane, lots of kids and cool parents. There are also the requisite pills.
#3: the stompers - eoin (ian) and sam (samantha)... eh! shes cool but hes a freak. sometimes hes all smiles and sometimes he wont even acknowledge me. we (the wife and i) call them "the stompers" because i think they wear hard boots all the time and walk around loudly. they have sex REALLY loud... ick! not the couple to have an image of. theyre both in school and he works for Peets coffee. his mom gives them money and pays the rent... hes older than i am.
#4: the dirty chinese potheads - mike and kent. nice dudes... P-O-T-H-E-A-D-S! kent does computer shit and is never around. hes always being flown somewhere to do work. mike is the homie though. working on being a radioligist but is my vaporizer buddy. every week or two he'll knock on the door and im high for the rest of the day. i went up to their apartment once to smoke... ugh! (for those that know my last living situation... THIS IS WAAAAY WORSE... I DIDNT THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE!) anyway, lets just say that the fish in their tank are now bones and its all moss and mildew in that bitch. plus, our landlord jack, he's going to be pissed when he sees that place when they move out at the end of the month. not a good look...
#5: the family - claudio (the latin), kathryn (the white), isabella (the cute kid), and the baby (ummm... dont know her name). he talks mad shit and is a carpenter. hes going to build us some shelves for our kitchen. shes sweet and works from home. the kid is funny as fuck and is on some little person type style already.
#6: the secret - tom (the white guy) and his ASIAN wife live in the apt with her sister straight from shanghai whos trying to land herself a husband. yeah... cute... both of them... heavy accent on the wife and no english skills for the sister. tom is dude though. nice folk.
across the street... well, theres the retard who cant park and thinks its okay to park in motherfuckers driveways... NOT ON MY BLOCK BITCH. hes weird and so are the 30 people living in his three story house. weird...
then theres the queens. bunch of gay dudes live across the street. me and the black queen dont get along cause dude parked in my driveway... he should of taken a lesson from the retard that lives next door to him. we dont get along all the much because when they start trying to blast that fucking crap electronic music i fuck em up with some 415, IMP, Bay gangster shit. my speakers are louder...
theres the chinese lady who follows people until she gets noticed and then runs off... she also has this dude that she likes. this weird drunk white guy whos mean to her. i think she likes him... all she does with him though is scream at him in front of the laundromat across the street. its weird...
theres the hacker... old chinese dude that at 6am every morning he walks by our window and coughs up spit very loudly.
theres the retarded dude who is really nice. always comes by and says hi if im out there. has this weird cross-eyed look but hes friendly. dude needs a little dress code help though cause hes always walking around in pjs and socks.
...ummm... thats all i can think of right now...
this summer however i had real whack across-the-street drug dealing neighbors.
they had "gasolina" on permanent replay real loud in the street, which is like my own personal nightmare scenario come true.
Next to them is a scary biker family. Ma and Pa and their daughter and her boyfriend. And their kid. The boyfriend has some meathead friends. One night I was walking home past their house and two dudes were taking turns kicking a telephone pole, all karate style. And sneaking up on it before they bashed it. One dude saw me and was like "Whats up?" not "Hey neighbor of my scary biker friend", but "Don't you see from our telephone kickage that we are ready to beat you about the head neck face chest areas?". I was all "Coolin" and kept going. Dudes also fight and screw real loud once a weekend, Saturday and Sunday, and I don't want to know if it's the parents or the kids.
the shop is open 360 days a year tho, and one of their in-store speakers is mounted to their ceiling right beneath my bed, meaning sleeping in past 10 am is pretty much impossible
I'm off to check that 'music from other rooms' thread, urrghh
Dude above me works odd hours, I believe he is a salesperson and is gay.
Dude to the right of me is a Vietnamese dude I think and he has two cars. Not sure what he does, but he also works odd hours.
Luckily my walls aren't too thin and things are pretty chill in our complex. It's month to month here and I think I'll stay put for the moment.
on the other side is this-
mormon temple. They are quite mostly and pretty good neighbors, i just wish their fucking gardeners wouldn't use leaf blowers outside my bedroom window at 6 in the morning on the weekends.
hahahahaha!!!
damn i feel you homie.
shit was like that for 2 years back at my apartment in San Diego. 14 year old kids blasting music and SINGING at 9am on SAT AND SUN is not cool. VERY NOT COOL.
this is one of my primary worries when i move into my next apartment.
One day I saw him at the local Duane Reade, buying what must've been 4 dozen rolls of paper towels. I can't help but imagine his apartment as being littered with decades worth of smut, soiled paper towels, and -- where would any hirsute hermit be, without: records.
There's also a lot of ladies doing the dog-as-fashion-accessory thing.
yo. what's really?
hahahahha....no way? They got cat shit stains on the carpet as well?
How come I never see aaaaaaaaany of these people? Your apartment building/block sound like a kick-ass sitcom.
and yo...what do they think of you?