So is anyone else completely depressed?
Young_Phonics
8,039 Posts
fuck....I went from just shocked at the simply evil shit that is happening to just being completely fucking depressed. I'm past the point in my life where I get "visibly emotinal" over things (i.e. cry) but damn....I saw that Oprah special on NOLA last and shit seemed like some hell on earth/no mans land bullshit. Just typing this makes me feel worse, man I didn't get out of bed until 12:00, I just cut class,ate a pineapple and thought of things. at this moment there's fellow humans motherfucking stranded or wandering all the while as they live in one of the most richest and powerfull countries in the world. LITERALLY....it's 10:46 PST and there's probally people fighting to keep alive while aid and services and being held back...what the fuck.......I've been on some "abandoned all hope" frame of mind.
Comments
how much have we dumped in iraq so far.........
Moist you shouldn't allow yourself to feel that type of depression, I've seen your efforts to help and in that you've done something noble and quite possibly helped some of the very people who's plight has put you in this state of mind.
things will get better because of people like you
but deeeeeeeeeeeyum.......
odub speaks the truth though. the two things that have made me feel the best this past week have been going to red cross to volunteer (taking a bike there helped too) and donating money.
Also, planning on getting rid of a lot of personal belongings in the VERY near future. Buying some canned food and bottled water, emergency supplies. Might even try to buy a car if I can get rid of enough of this material crap.
100% real motherfucking speak.
aaaaaaaaand I got that wack-ass new Jamie Foxx song stuck in my hand.
Me too on the apathetic to shit tip. I've tried to give the government the benefit of the doubt (to some degree) but call it either my common sense kicking in or persuasion by the Soulstrut conspiracy crew but this shit just looks so fucked up now.
not to take away from your sentiments, or reopen the proverbial can of worms, but that picture looks like its from the Palistinan territories, and thats been 'some some hell on earth/no mans land bullshit' since 1948
no prob...it was the first image that I saw when I google'd "white flag" or something....but yeah man I hear you.
No.
You think this way and you're 1 step toward making it a reality.
I'll tell you right now - I WILL SURVIVE.
This has made me depressed (I posted something on it the other night) and it's felt like a weight on me wherever I go. Even tonight going to the store I was like a zombie just getting what I needed.
But I refuse to believe that shit. We are more good than bad. If not we would have never made it this far.
Things will get better, but we will not forget.
I will say one thing that helped bring me out of my slump, though:
Last night I threw/hosted my first-ever fundraiser for the victims of the hurricane. I didn't decide to do it 'til Friday afternoon, spent my whole 3-day weekend preparing it. Late Sunday night, I decided to compile a CD to sell at the show. My tribute to NOLA, if you will. I literally spent from 11p Sunday night to 6am Monday morning DL'ing & ripping songs for it. Then, from 11:30a Monday morning to 4:15a Tuesday morning, I burned (and handwrote) 100 copies. All the while watching CNN (stupid, I know) and literally crying (which I RARELY do) to some Tom Waits' "I Wish I Was In New Orleans" and Louis Armstrong's "Do You Know What It Means To Miss New Orleans?"
My goal for the night was to raise AT LEAST $500 dollars, hoping that I could hustle every CD I made. In all honestly, I felt like $300 was a stretch. I was worried that with only 3 days to promote and the day of the event following a 3-day weekend, I'd end up with an empty club. Well, I was wrong. Word of mouth advertisement proved itself successful. Everybody I told told everybody they knew and the place was packed. I am not ready to say exactly how much we raised due to the fact that I still have 38 CD's to sell within the next couple days and I've established a new goal, but I will say that by the end of the night, I felt the best I've felt in a loooooong time.
At the height of the night, I stopped the music and asked everybody to report to the dancefloor. The "too cool for school" bunch that wouldn't budge, I asked to AT LEAST clap along to what I was gonna do. I announced that the next song was my dedication to the people, music and culture of New Orleans and asked everybody to wild the fuck out on some ol' Mardi Gras dancing in the streets type shit.
Then I dropped The Dirty Dozen Brass Band's "It's All Over Now" (granted, it was the worst song title to choose, but the feel was right and it was the only Mardi Grasish LP I own, youfeelme?) and the place ERUPTED. Everybody got their groove on, the stomps and claps were deafening, THE WHOLE PLACE WAS SMILING. I got so teary-eyed with visions of this blasting throughout the Astrodome, the Tucson Convention Center (we have evacuees) and everywhere else people are staying and just watching everybody get down like YOU. CAN'T. BREAK. MY. SPIRIT.
That moment made it all worthwhile.
Today I went to offer my time and assistance to Red Cross. Unfortunately, they said they no longer need anyone for this (?!?!?), but I have a number to call to help the local organizations. I have 5 weeks of vacation and I've already told my manager that she may only get a day or two notice if they need to send me somewhere. She understood.
This is the first time I've ever done anything like this. I mean, I've given money before and done minor things like work-sponsored (i.e "political") fundraisers, but the depression I was feeling was so strong that I had to do something ON MY OWN. (It still doesn't feel like enough, though.)
I don't even know what I'm trying to say right now. I guess what I'm suggesting is that you do a little bit more than you usually do in these situations. Not to say that nobody's doing enough, just saying that, to me at least, it lifted my spirits knowing that I did something that I've never done before for someone and someplace that I will never, ever know. And, for now, I'm alright with that.
Herm
P.S. Moist, PM your address. The CD comp I made might help you a little.
I'm real serious dude.
To quote the one AI
"hold you head".
not even related to this particular event, purging material shit from my life always helps my state of mind. so i'm feeling that move.
Girls don't want guys that stank like a cigarette butt.
Think of that.
Things will change. But unless you are clinging dearly onto some aspect of your current lifestyle, you will manage.
Affirm positive thoughts and positive things will happen. Remember that you are not your mind, and that you are the master of your own reality. The world is only as you see it.
Stop watching the god damn news. They know people are glued to tragedy and that equals great ratings. Check updates on the internet for vital information, and dont let them get you wrapped up in the horror.
Gods will often acts in ways we cannot understand, but rest assured, the creator has a master plan. Peace and happiness for every man.
It???s hard not to feel the ripple effects of such despair and wrong-doing. I don???t believe in a punishing god or a forgiving god, just that we all are 'god' in what we put out and the energy we create. It???s not so much the storm as it is everything that has followed it that I feel has seriously fucked things up - how can we not be all twisted up in our heads and chests and stomachs?
I think doing something is important to make it better, I think if it involves actually connecting with other people and providing some strength to and drawing some strength from each other helps even more.
i did this recently and there's more that's about to go to Goodwill. it does make a difference.
co-shiggy.
if anything, this whole disaster has made me that much more thankful to be alive and well.
That's real. I alternate between being really depressed and being really pissed off. I've gotten sick recently, though I think it's probably more a psychosomatic thing than any actual bug I've picked up. My eating and sleeping habits are all messed up. As good as I feel raising money via the Heatrocks and doing a benefit show next week and all that good stuff, it's hard to look a something this catastrohpic and not feel dwarfed by it.
Incredibly so!!!! It's a grim reminder that my people don't matter. Now, the whole world gets to see it first-hand.
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
i have a question for you Stacks...do you think the neglect had more to do with race or class?
Personally, I think it's both because, unfortuantely, race and class are very closely tied in this country. This article gives a decent breakdown of the racial aspects (empahsis in quotes mine):
2). Seeing fuckers on "myspace" sending out bulletins for thur "hot party w/ ladies free before 11:00" bullshit. I'm like "damn, can we just maybe stay focused on what really IS important"? I'm not saying stop everything but damn, a little fuckin' sensitivity would be nice.
3). I was walking to class today and thought "Damn, why should I be depressed? I should be happy. Happy that I'm alive, well, with more than enough foood, shelter, etc..." but it still hurts to know fellow humans are being treated just like the "enemy".
DEPRESSED IN MY WHITE FLAG.
yeah man....interesting little thing. When I woke up this morning I decided to put on VH1 while I tried to steal a few more winks of rest. In between being asleep and awake that Green Day video comes on when they sing "wake me up when September is over" I was like "woooord the fuck up...".
P.S. I'm sorry if I turned this thread into a "HELP! EVERYONE LOOK AT ME!" Too-much-info-jump-off but it felt cathartic.
I don't think you have a thing to be sorry about.
Looks like plenty of us needed it. So, actually, Thanks.