The Mop | Official Thread

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  • djdazedjdaze 3,099 Posts
    Just ordered mine...I've been scarce around here lately but had to come back and say something in here. I always LOVED when NZ would post his stories. So glad to see that this project got to see the light of day. I feel privileged being able to support this and everyone involved. Can't wait to get it.

  • EIGHTYEIGHTY 224 Posts
    The porn theater your brother used to own wasn't the Jefferson was it? I used to hear mad stories about that place when I was younger.

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts
    Nah. Not Portland.

    The Mercury or WW did a story, years ago now, about how the owner of the Jefferson disappeared in the middle of some legal dispute and the manager just kept it running.
    IIRC the article speculated that he was either; alive and well in Thailand, or had been murdered.

  • DocMcCoyDocMcCoy "Go and laugh in your own country!" 5,917 Posts
    #59 reclining on a sofa in Berlin.



    I especially enjoyed the 90-minute wait for it to be processed at the Zollamt :icegrill: where I was made to open the package before I could leave with it. I got a teeny bit nervous when I saw the (thankfully cropped) picture of a girl getting eaten out that was pasted onto the box, and wondered what else might come tumbling out when I opened it. Then I remembered I'm in Germany now, and they're not so uptight about that shit.

    Digging the whole package - really beautifully done. It's a good read, too. I like the pulpy, journalistic vibe, and Alan's "voice" is warm and good-humoured enough to soften the edge of all the gross-out moments, many of which will make you wince, but which are vivid enough at times to put you right there amongst it. Great, sleazy fun.

    A+++++ would definitely buy from this seller again.


  • jleejlee 1,539 Posts
    finished last night. very enjoyable read....too many quotables to reference, but the imagery was just amazing (and frightening at the same time).

    congratz again.

  • LuminLumin 807 Posts
    finished the book this past weekend. good read overall. had me crackin up a lot. some of the descriptions were perfect.
    i think i wouldve handled things a bit differently had i been in the same situation, in front of 20 thai businesswomen in a porn shop.
    good work nz, thes, and pl70 on an amazing package (pause)

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    My Mother-In-Law is all proud that I wrote a book. She asked for a copy. I just sent it with the following inscription:

    Dear J****,
    Please don't read this book.


    Christmas is gonna be a barrel of laughs this year.

  • I read it in about two days, couldn't put it down. Sunday before last (I've been meaning to post but haven't been able to find the time) saw me sat down the pub on me todd, full pack of smokes and a pitcher of beer, sat outside in lovely FL sunshine reading about this delightful underworld.

    When I finished it that night (back at home) I shucked my head back, put my hands over my face and chuckled. Two weeks later I still don't know if I was laughing or crying... Definitely a good read!

    Starting the book during lunch with a sandwich in one hand, book in the other reading that first page was a bit off putting, though.

  • Finally got mine today!! Looks good. Also a 45 and a test pressing of the 45?!? I like it.

    I've read it before, but I might read it again ;)

  • YemskyYemsky 709 Posts
    OptimusLime said:
    Also a 45 and a test pressing of the 45?!? I like it.

    Doubles for the price of one?!?!?

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    I still have a couple 45 labels left if anyone wants one.

    @themopbook for twitter jizz updates

  • "And my mother fought hard for civil rights so that instead of a mop, I could hold this microphone.???

    - San Antonio Mayor Juli??n Castro, DNC, 9/4/12

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Page 5: 'pouring' should be 'poring'.

    Didn't Cooper proof read this?
    Gash.

    But I'm hooked. Satan's spaghetti: YES.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,902 Posts
    Overcompensating for "Color"?

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    "...and brushed the carpet off my teeth."

    Brilliant line.
    Bravo.

  • JroamJroam 257 Posts
    Very fast shipping. #113 has arrived. Thanks and congratulations to all of you on your hard work.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    "Cum nuggets"

    "This, Alan, is what we call a fuckslab"

    YES

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Oh man.
    The chapter on Teh Thing is perfect.

    perfect.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    "If it went up your arse, it was in the coffin."

    Oh man.
    So good.
    BOTY

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Wait. What's this shit right here. Alan?
    Right here on page 188.

    "Alphabetizing".

    Fucking alphabetizing?

    Colour me fucking astonished.

    Which heathen meriman shoehorned this fucking monstrosity into your book? Kind of word the Prof Oliver would use. And even the fucking nerve to put a 'z' in it. No, not zee you fuckers, zed.
    Alphabetizing. Smfh.

    For shame.
    ::icegrill::


    ::wink::

  • nzshadownzshadow 5,518 Posts
    skel said:
    Wait. What's this shit right here. Alan?
    Right here on page 188.

    "Alphabetizing".

    Fucking alphabetizing?

    Colour me fucking astonished.

    Which heathen meriman shoehorned this fucking monstrosity into your book? Kind of word the Prof Oliver would use. And even the fucking nerve to put a 'z' in it. No, not zee you fuckers, zed.
    Alphabetizing. Smfh.

    For shame.
    ::icegrill::


    ::wink::

    Best believe i alphabetised the fuck outta thems shits too.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Right, so I finished the book and here's what's what.

    A roller coaster of a novel set over three generations of womanhood as they struggle...oh wait, that's Little Women.

    Teh Mop.
    Fantastic read. All the eye-widening lurid details set the scene early on, but makes way for a heartwarming story of one man and assorted outsider cohorts realising that the grime and filth just affords them a backdrop from which their innate goodness can shine with better clarity.
    Cheer as Alan seems doomed to be overwhelmed and dragged down by the muck, yet rises at the denouement to a triumph of his will and the indomitable nature of the human spirit.
    And do re-read the Thai business women chapter. It surely rates amongst the most gripping chapters I've ever come across (pasue)

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,787 Posts
    The backpack full of broken amyl bottles... :shitty: :dodododo: :cry: :lol:

    Great read A*an.

  • djsheepdjsheep 3,620 Posts

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts
    Welcome back Sheep.

    Hope you are doing well.

  • djsheepdjsheep 3,620 Posts
    LaserWolf said:
    Welcome back Sheep.

    Hope you are doing well.

    Thanks LaserWolf. Things have been a lot better. The whole of 2012 was a real mess in many ways, which I won't even begin to explain, but it was very personal and very hurtful; but in the end, there WAS a happy ending with the help and patience of a few key people in my life.. I'd get into it all, but let's just say thing are good for the most part right now.

    I guess a blanket apology is due to anyone on SS who I offended, pretty sure I reached out to everyone on a one-to-one basis. But hey bro, nobody's perfect, and I fucked up. Thanks for the welcome back. Really excited to see Alan again, hope everyone on here is A.OK here. I'll chime in and try play catch up as time permits.

    Not to thread hijack, but here's some music I made with my potna Matty Fresh; this kinda got me outta the rut.





    peace ya'll. B

  • kalakala 3,361 Posts
    sounds great man
    welcome back!
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