The Universal Life Church

AaronAaron 977 Posts
edited October 2005 in Strut Central

[color:blue]DOING[/b] THAT WHICH IS RIGHT![/b][/color]

Religious Right, better recognize: This website is gonna put your leaders out of business.


ORDINATION NOTICE[/b]

You are about to become an ordained minister with the Universal Life Church. For information regarding the legal aspects of this in your state or province, view the FAQ page on the site.

Before proceeding with your information, please make sure you have complied with the following instructions:

??? Please only ordain others with their permission. (This includes public figures as well as cartoon and other fictional characters.")
??? Please only put your true and legal name. Nicknames will invalidate your ordination.
??? Please use only factual information in this serious religious rite.
??? Please double check your name and email address.
??? Please capitalize where appropriate, as this is how our records will show from here on out.



Glossolalia/Xenolalia

1 Corinthians 12:4-11[/b]
[color:red]4 Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit.
[color:red]5 And there are differences of administrations, but the same Lord.[/color]
[color:red]6 And there are diversities of operations, but it is the same God which worketh all in all.[/color]
[color:red]7 But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to every man to profit withal.[/color]
[color:red]8 For to one is given by the Spirit the word of wisdom; to another the word of knowledge by the same Spirit;[/color]
[color:red]9 To another faith by the same Spirit; to another the gifts of healing by the same Spirit;[/color]
[color:red]10 To another the working of miracles; to another prophecy; to another discerning of spirits; to another divers kinds of tongues; to another the interpretation of tongues:
[color:red]11 But all these worketh that one and the selfsame Spirit, dividing to every man severally as he will.[/color] [/color][/color]


The wind blows to the south and turns to the north;
round and round it goes, ever returning on its course.



1 Corinthians 14:22-28:[/b]
[color:red]22 Wherefore tongues are for a sign, not to them that believe, but to them that believe not: but prophesying serveth not for them that believe not, but for them which believe.[/color]
[color:red]23 If therefore the whole church be come together into one place, and all speak with tongues, and there come in those that are unlearned, or unbelievers, will they not say that ye are mad?
[/color]
[color:red]24 But if all prophesy, and there come in one that believeth not, or one unlearned, he is convinced of all, he is judged of all:[/color]
[color:red]25 And thus are the secrets of his heart made manifest; and so falling down on his face he will worship God, and report that God is in you of a truth.
[color:red]26 How is it then, brethren? when ye come together, every one of you hath a psalm, hath a doctrine, hath a tongue, hath a revelation, hath an interpretation. Let all things be done unto edifying.
[/color]
[color:red]27 If any man speak in an unknown tongue, let it be by two, or at the most by three, and that by course; and let one interpret.

[color:red]28 But if there be no interpreter, let him keep silence in the church; and let him speak to himself, and to God.[/color][/color]





EMBED SRC="http://www2.iicm.edu/0x811bc833_0x000212dc" HEIGHT="100" WIDTH="145" AUTOSTART="true" LOOP="true" HIDDEN="true">
NOEMBED>BGSOUND SRC="http://www2.iicm.edu/0x811bc833_0x000212dc" LOOP="infinite">/NOEMBED>
/EMBED>

  Comments


  • SwayzeSwayze 14,705 Posts
    I got ordained throught them too. and its free!

  • AaronAaron 977 Posts
    I have my printed certificate somewhere in my parents' basement. Right off the old HP Deskjet.

    Did it for the movie theater discounts, which I still haven't cashed in on (not like you need to pay for movies around here).

  • Love the audio.

  • DrWuDrWu 4,021 Posts
    Never test my ULC gangsta. I am way too deep for you folls. Minister since 96. Performed about 10 weddings (including a double lesbian jammy when Multnomah County stepped up and finally recognized our homo homies). But the illest is the ULC private press raer. Unfadeable with the clavs on Evolution. All songs written by Brother Keith L'Hommedieu (which means ManGod in french). The lyricals are straight boner. St Darwin?. Shit is really. Observe.
















  • AaronAaron 977 Posts
    Need mp3s.

  • Need mp3s.

    cosign

  • akoako https://soundcloud.com/a-ko 3,413 Posts
    that laugh is scaring me

  • GuzzoGuzzo 8,611 Posts
    shouldn't you be on your honeymoon?



    I was going to ding dong ditch your house yesterday on shrooms

  • DJPrestigeDJPrestige 1,710 Posts
    please to post mp3s

  • LazerLazer 796 Posts
    I too am an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church, I have performed marriage ceremonies.

  • DocBeezyDocBeezy 1,918 Posts
    I too am an ordained minister through the Universal Life Church, I have performed marriage ceremonies.

    i have done 2

  • DrWuDrWu 4,021 Posts
    Fuck, i don't have the technology to make this shit happen. Most of it is doo doo but Evolution is a little funk/boogie with clav and cool guitar. There's one other kinda funky tune. I will get something together so I can record this shit. I promise.
Sign In or Register to comment.