I know what the world's best job is

dizzybulldizzybull Eerie Dicks 327 Posts
In workout videos there are a bunch of young, in shape, good looking people smiling and having fun getting the best workout ever.  Then there is the person I call 'the stooge' - a name which sounds meaner that it should, but that's just what I call them. The Stooge is older and fatter and they do the easy versions of all the exercises. They are the avatar of all of us fat slobs who are actually doing the workout tapes.  The Stooge can never actually get into shape or they will loose their job as stooge. And that is what makes it genius.

"Extra slice of pizza? I normally wouldn't, but I probably should... for work, you know."

"I'd like to go for a run, but I gotta look schlubby for wednesday's shoot."

Also, they are probably pretty healthy. I mean they do workout after all, and they can't get tooooo fat or out of shape or it would be demoralizing for those watching the videos. They have to tread that fine line.

There are some downsides, but they are minor.  The Stooge's significant other is in an awkward spot.
"Hey, did you hear about Herb? He's getting married.  Some chick from a workout video! I know! She must be hot! Not sure how he pulled that off!"  And then they finally meet her, and the look of disappointment when they realize Herb's hot girlfriend is actually The Stooge probably stings a little.  But that's a minor thing.  Other than that, they have the best job in the world.

The Stooge.



  • ppadilhappadilha 2,230 Posts
    who hasn't felt like The Stooge at their job?

  • Surely the stooge should get paid more than the super fit front liners, too, since a super fit front liner has any number of alternate income streams - personal trainer, model, etc. The stooge has to straddle the active but attainable line and thus isn't gonna get picked off the sidewalk to be the next James Bond.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,881 Posts
    It reminds me of a late-night food episode in Manchester.

    I think my friends had just played a Leon Ware gig and we went looking for food around 3:30AM in the city centre.  There was a great kebab place open but to distract the flow of drunken townsfolk from ill behaviour, the owners had TV screens behind the counter as a distraction - showing, on whatever spacecake Uzbekistani satellite channel, INSANITY WORKOUT video ads, of all things. 

    Every fucker in the workout grinning away like they were on PCP, demonstrating  frankly disturbing endurance whilst performing exercises Rocky would baulk at.  (shortly before cutting their own faces off and feeding it to their dogs, I imagine).  NO PLACE FOR STOOGES OLD MAN!

    I mean, on the one hand, I really, really wanted a kebab, but on the other hand, I dunno now, maybe I do need a stomach like a French Boule set?  Not the best sales tactic for a kebab shop.

    Speaking of Balboa, I always thought Valentino Balboni had the best job in the world (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valentino_Balboni )


  • ElectrodeElectrode Los Angeles 3,077 Posts
    The Stooge reminds me of the "jobber" of the old professional wrestling days. He's the guy who probably answered a newspaper ad looking for some schlub to step in the ring, lose as the script dictates, make the opponent appear powerful and collect a quick paycheck. Yet this gig turns into another. Eventually he proves himself to be a reliable fall guy in the local circuit, enough to move up the ladder. Then he hits the big time: a Sunday morning WWF taping.

    "And right here's a promising young man, Nate Harrison, from Kellogg, Idaho". The bell rings and he and Rick Rude exchange light open-fisted punches and Irish whip each other into the ropes. Then he forgets the choreography. He flips over when he's not supposed to and doesn't "sell" the body slams. So the Ravishing One decides to work him over for real this time as punishment. He throws him into the turnbuckles hard, kicks him square in his flabby gut and gives him a stiff Rude Awakening with the color commentary encouragement of Gorilla Monsoon at ringside. Not enough to put him in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, but he feels it for a week whenever he turns his head before making a left turn in his car. One, two, three. The poor sap clutches his neck and waddles away to the locker room as the show cuts to a cereal commercial. All for a week's worth of groceries.

    Not an ideal career path but when I was a kid I wondered how those guys made a living.

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