Dumbest Hobbit Moment
LazarusOblong
896 Posts
Has to be the elf riding the elk.
Or later, when the elk ridden by the elf takes out a crew of orcs with its antlers.
Then again there's a scene where Radagast is on a sled pulled by big rabbits.
I would happily slap Peter Jackson right in the pipe.
Or later, when the elk ridden by the elf takes out a crew of orcs with its antlers.
Then again there's a scene where Radagast is on a sled pulled by big rabbits.
I would happily slap Peter Jackson right in the pipe.
Comments
The Ring trilogy worked fine for me, but making a trilogy out of The Hobbit was like making a miniseries out of Hop On Pop.
Five armies? I only counted four: elves, dwarves, humans and orcs. Who were the other mob?
Wtf moment was Billy Connolly hamming it up as a Scottish psychopath dwarf. Really? Pfffft.
And cmon about 9 dwarfs with Geddy Lee hair can lay waste to about ten thousand 20-foot tall demonic muscled skinheads.... I want at least a smidgen of realism in my allegorical fantasy enchanted Middle Earth films. Nah mean?
In the book, it's simply an awesome self contained adventure story up until Smaug is killed (with subtle references to heavy shit that will become more relevant later in the series, i.e. finding the ring, etc).
And THAT was what I looked forward to watching when I learned that the book was going to become a series of films. I was actually kind of pumped to learn it was going to be a trilogy because I thought 'this will give them plenty of time to cover the entire book'....how wrong I was.
It became apparent from the beginning of the first movie that there wasn't going to be much effort to telling the actual story of The Hobbit. The movies are essentially comprised of characters that never existed in the book, chase scenes and battles that never happened, endless strings of manufactured connectors to the LOTR, occasional nods to tales from the Silmarillion and none of it worked for me.
In a perfect world it would have been 2 movies; (1) the beginning of the story up until they go into Smaug's lair and (2) Smaug's fight/death and the following events to the end of the book.
My nephew saw it seemed to dig and so did his friends...also, the films seem to be making good enough money so I guess: mission accomplished?
It's a goddamn shame because this was one of my favorite books as a kid and something I read every 5+ years for the nostalgia effect. Can't forget hiding under a comforter in my room and using a dim flashlight to sneak in a few more chapters after bed time.
Thanks for crushing my childhood, Peter Jackson.
EDIT: b/w I refuse to actually pay to watch the third installment. I will steal that without regret or guilty conscious. Fuck that monstrosity. And, it's so far down on my list of things to watch that I don't know when I'll actually watch it.
Plus I could never ride for that whole D&D-elf-magic shit / Rush-unicorn-stoner pitch. Like, when you used to put on a shit fantasy b-movie VHS, and they had the trailers for a whole host of other b-movie shit, with the deep voiceover dude giving it:
"Imagine a world of gawblins and troowhlz..."
GTFOOHWTBS
Worst Hobbit moments? Unending slow-motion Thorin facial expression reaction shots in 3 b/w insisting on dragging out the fucking dwarf songs in 1 to their agonizing, bitter end. Brutal.
Is Jackson really going to fucks with The Silmarillion? That can't end well. Expect a series of movies tying the separate threads into one giant clusterfuck with completely gratuitous additional chase scenes and fights. And a love story involving the woman from Lost (Seriously, that was entirely unnecessary).