The absolute WORST song of the 80's
parallax
no-style-having mf'er 1,266 Posts
Kim Mitchell - "Patio Lanterns"
Our house had the biggest patio
Our house had all the summer shade
We had patio lanterns
I'd spend half the night making lemonade
Which we drank a lot
'Cause we were all so shy
Shy and nervous
Who was gonna be
Who would be the first to dance
Who was gonna be
Who would be the first to kiss
Under those patio lanterns
Those patio lanterns
They were the stars in the sky
Those patio lanterns
Lighting up our lives
Those patio lanterns
They were the stars in the sky
Those patio lanterns
Lighting up our lives
Oh, those patio lanterns
And I was stuck on Joy, that was her name
We didn't talk much
She was a nervous girl
I was a nervous boy
We stuck together like glue on glue
Dancing to an old song
Bobby Vinton's Blue on Blue
Heartache on heartache
Who was gonna be
Who would be the first to dance
Who was gonna be
Who would be the first to kiss
Under those patio lanterns
Those patio lanterns
They were the stars in the sky
Those patio lanterns
Lighting up our lives
Those patio lanterns
They were the stars in the sky
Those patio lanterns
Lighting up our lives
Oh, those patio lanterns
------------------------
I can't think of a worse song.
Those keys, the lyrics, the voice.
It's a musical abomination that truly is offensive to my ears.
Can you think of something worse?
Doubt it, but plaese to add.
Our house had the biggest patio
Our house had all the summer shade
We had patio lanterns
I'd spend half the night making lemonade
Which we drank a lot
'Cause we were all so shy
Shy and nervous
Who was gonna be
Who would be the first to dance
Who was gonna be
Who would be the first to kiss
Under those patio lanterns
Those patio lanterns
They were the stars in the sky
Those patio lanterns
Lighting up our lives
Those patio lanterns
They were the stars in the sky
Those patio lanterns
Lighting up our lives
Oh, those patio lanterns
And I was stuck on Joy, that was her name
We didn't talk much
She was a nervous girl
I was a nervous boy
We stuck together like glue on glue
Dancing to an old song
Bobby Vinton's Blue on Blue
Heartache on heartache
Who was gonna be
Who would be the first to dance
Who was gonna be
Who would be the first to kiss
Under those patio lanterns
Those patio lanterns
They were the stars in the sky
Those patio lanterns
Lighting up our lives
Those patio lanterns
They were the stars in the sky
Those patio lanterns
Lighting up our lives
Oh, those patio lanterns
------------------------
I can't think of a worse song.
Those keys, the lyrics, the voice.
It's a musical abomination that truly is offensive to my ears.
Can you think of something worse?
Doubt it, but plaese to add.
Comments
half-kidding. but when i was a kid, those were legendary alongside dmc and the fat boys.
this is awful (and also canadian):
I am Cdn.
Good call on Men With Hats. Awful music.
B/w
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
I'm no fan of GJWHF but as an example of Awful Zany Wavo Pop it is nowhere near as bad as "Rock Lobster."
(in best English accent)"My ears are not dustbins, please do not fill them with your rubbish."
'Meriman/'Mericuh's-Davy-Crockett-Hat Man/Helmut und dem can translate, as per your local waste nomenclature.
bonus beat:
The Ru-Paul catalogue.
The Sinitta catalogue.
Actually, Ru-Paul may have had a banger :ayo:
BATMON to tell me.
Karel Fialka - Hey Matthew
'Orrible Being In Love When Ye're Eight N 'Alf(Half not Alf)
Dire Straits - "Walk of Life"
Pull the pin at your peril...
Dire Straits - Walk Of Life from floriploiesteanu on Vimeo.
Peep the horrendous lyrics:
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula, Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels trying to make it pay
He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day
He do the song about the sweet loving woman
He do the song about the knife
He do the walk, he do the walk of life
Here comes Johnny and he'll tell you the story
Hand me down my walking shoes
Here comes Johnny with the power and glory
Backbeat the talkin' blues
He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning all the night time into the day
He do the song about the sweet loving woman
He do the song about the knife
He do the walk, he do the walk of life
Here comes Johnny singing oldies, goldies
Be-Bop-A-Lula Baby What I Say
Here comes Johnny singing I Gotta Woman
Down in the tunnels, trying to make it pay
He got the action, he got the motion
Yeah the boy can play
Dedication devotion
Turning the night time into day
And after all the violence and double talk
There's just a song in all the trouble and the strife
You do the walk, you do the walk of life
Pshaw.
Next we're gonna have someone droppin' this...
(Also strong candidate for worst video)
Honorable mentions:
Kokomo; Walk of Life
kokomo --> maybe the worst because of how good the beach boys can be.
lady in red
fish heads (so bloody embarrassing)
hooooold on:
we built this city --> again, to an eight year old in small town canada, that was kinda awesome... another guilty pleasure.
Favorite line:
I feel the magic in your caress; I feel the magic when I touch your dress.
:beerbang:
Our school bus driver used to play Bat Out Of Hell everyday. The entire album. Which is exactly what you want to be listening to at 7:30 in the morning. I probably know all the lyrics to those great songs as well. Couldn't stand that shit tho.
Dude. DUDE. [strong]MOTORIN...WHAT'S YOUR PRICE FOR FLIGHT?[/strong]
I sing that shit around the house all the time.
ha..! complete with double fist clench I hope