Neighbor wants me to be Spider-Man.....

batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
edited July 2013 in Strut Central
My 55+ neighbor is have a retirement part in August.
She rang my bell and asked me if I wanted to wear a Spider-Man costume at the party.
She claims the original dude that was hired, cant do it and he's also too short in her opinion.
I told her than Spidey isnt a 6'4" dude anyways, but I know what you want.

Now im crazy enough to do some shit like this. I threw on a Darth Vader joint for my buddy's kids.
But rocking this shit for some 40+ year olds smells real corny. She plans on having a Hello Kitty costume or some shit.
I was gonna skip the party in the first place and now i really want to skip this shit.....

Plus I'm Batman dammit.



Plus, if there's any trim, the costume fucks the game up.
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  Comments


  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
    batmon said:

    Plus, if there's any trim, the costume fucks the game up.

    Like calling yourself Batmon doesn't...

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    Have you left out a piece of the story? How are costumes and retirement parties related?

    And depending on the *fit* of the costume, partaking in trim may not be an issue at all.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Herm said:
    batmon said:

    Plus, if there's any trim, the costume fucks the game up.

    Like calling yourself Batmon doesn't...

    Herm = Herman?

  • DB_CooperDB_Cooper Manhatin' 7,823 Posts
    batmon said:
    Herm said:
    batmon said:

    Plus, if there's any trim, the costume fucks the game up.

    Like calling yourself Batmon doesn't...

    Herm = Herman?

    Hermathan

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    bassie said:
    Have you left out a piece of the story? How are costumes and retirement parties related?

    And depending on the *fit* of the costume, partaking in trim may not be an issue at all.

    Sayin, ...she said two of her co-workers are fans of Spidey and Kitty.

    And if im too busy taking pictures and "fakin" like Spider-man, i wont really be partying...which includes flirting and drinking.
    Dont try to front like mixing the two is the shit, either. Im not some magician cat up in the party.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Insert "do it" Stiller gif here

    B/w

    trim loves uniform

    Sayin tho

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    Either get well lit before you arrive and take advantage of the relative anonymity or skip it.

    How come you got to take pictures? What's next? Putting everyone's capes and light sabers in the bedroom?

  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
    batmon said:
    Herm said:
    batmon said:

    Plus, if there's any trim, the costume fucks the game up.

    Like calling yourself Batmon doesn't...

    Herm = Herman?

    Hermilo.

    Try saying it... Nope, that's wrong. There's only one I and one L. You can't really screw up H.E.R.M.

    *PASUE*

  • ppadilhappadilha 2,243 Posts
    we all know where this is headed:


  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
    Seriously though...is this a real thing these days? Costumed characters for 40 year olds?? I can see some aging hipsters doing it (I know, i know...I hate that term too), but I would figure it'd be some jokey shit one of their friends would do, like how fools wear those green man costumes.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Herm said:
    Seriously though...is this a real thing these days? Costumed characters for 40 year olds?? I can see some aging hipsters doing it (I know, i know...I hate that term too), but I would figure it'd be some jokey shit one of their friends would do, like how fools wear those green man costumes.

    Sayin.....on the real she's close to 60...she retiring......I dont see a gang of 30 year olds w/ just 10 60 year olds.

    Its gotta be "old' fuckers drankin Hen-dog and Coke.

    Im gonna be swingin round takin photos w/ whomever wants to. U know LBE poses and shit.
    Its not like she wants me to just pop up in the suit and by her friends drinks, while Before I Let Go plays.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    holy shit, it sounds like a nightmare, but your definition of fun is probably a lot more generous than mine.

    getting dressed up as a fictional character so people can take pictures with you sounds like a child's party - isn't that the kind of shit that goes down at DisneyUniverse?

    bottom line - pics or it didn't happen.

  • Hotsauce84Hotsauce84 8,450 Posts
    How's your gut these days? Crunch game on-point?

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    bassie said:
    holy shit, it sounds like a nightmare, but your definition of fun is probably a lot more generous than mine.

    Call Me

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Herm said:
    How's your gut these days? Crunch game on-point?


  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts


    ...but you won't pick up

  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    Cant you just wear a pair of glasses and go as Peter Parker.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    sabadabada said:
    Cant you just wear a pair of glasses and go as Peter Parker.

    I would take a significant pay cut.

  • ppadilhappadilha 2,243 Posts
    oh wait I was under the impression this was more like a costume party. It's just going to be you and Hello Kitty dressed up?

  • LaserWolfLaserWolf Portland Oregon 11,517 Posts
    :comedy_gold:

    You have got to do it. You can use your pick up lines every other day of the week.

    This thread needs to be stickied.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    ppadilha said:
    oh wait I was under the impression this was more like a costume party. It's just going to be you and Hello Kitty dressed up?


  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,946 Posts
    'TF, D***d.

    GO AS BATMAN ANY WAY.

    Spidey would have to take his mask at least part off to sip a juice. The Detective can yag 40s all day, no mask malarkey.

    +

    Trim Magnet, deffo.

    Or you're doing it wrong.

    Banter just sets itself up:

    "Wanna see the bat mobile?"
    "Will it fit in your bat cave?"

    Eggy Zed couldn't fail.

  • mask stays on: outsource to neighborhood kid for half the loot and show up right before the end of the party completely whistled and ready to collect.

  • Controller_7Controller_7 4,052 Posts
    If you're getting paid, go and just wild out. Buy some silly string cans and spray peoples faces and shit. Jump on he couch. Climb the hallway walls if there are any (like we did as kids). If she complains say "I'm Batmon, not Spiderman. What did you ex

  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    Controller_7 said:
    If you're getting paid, go and just wild out. Buy some silly string cans and spray peoples faces and shit. Jump on he couch. Climb the hallway walls if there are any (like we did as kids). If she complains say "I'm Batmon, not Spiderman. What did you ex

    Spray that silly string shit all over the person right before she blows the candles on her retirment cake out so that her head bursts into flames like in that gif.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Yes. Tootsie the fuck out of that night.

    Halfway theough, roll back Spidey to reveal Batman.

    Then later do it again to reveal., the Riddler.
    Ok it'll cost a penny and you'll be sweating clams, but those gerontos will be wilding out.

    And that's priceless.

  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    I'm Spiderman BITCH!


  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    And there you have it, folks - SoulStrut in less than 100 posts: From how can a grown man in a Spiderman costume still get it to setting women on fire.

  • sabadabadasabadabada 5,966 Posts
    I'm back. Tanned and rested.

  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    bassie said:
    And there you have it, folks - SoulStrut in less than 100 posts: From how can a grown man in a Spiderman costume still get it to setting women on fire.

    U know my "fuck it" side entertains this, but what happens is that you get pigeon holed. Walking around with my crotch bunched up behind some cheap lyrca suit all sweaty and shit. I will be out of the game....imo.
    She does have some decent lookin friends who are are quasi-ratchet. The thing is I could get freaky and kinda get away with shit like Homey The Clown n shit. And i could throw in a cucumber to the side like Spinal Tap.
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