Rep your dumbassedness.
Hotsauce84
8,450 Posts
I just went to 1800FLOWERS.com to look up their phone number.
What you got?
What you got?
Comments
This morning I was treating his foot with a non-related benadryl lotion for a jellyfish sting he got and I briefly thought, damn i hope this doesnt make his foot fall asleep while he's at school. That was a pretty stupid thought.
HAHA!
I would occasionally take out my metro card to open my apartment door.
the worst is when you're on autopilot and forget to swipe your card before walking thru the turnstile on the subway.
I came home slightly inebriated on Saturday night and then found my keys still in the front door on Sunday. Oops.
Yep. Done that before. Felt an odd mixture of stupidity and thankfulness. So glad they were still there!! lol
I tried to go without a metro pass a few months ago. Underestimating my ability to change my routine, the first ten or so times I waited for a streetcar ended with me realizing I didn't have change, getting off the car, finding a convenience store, buying something I didn't need, and catch the next car. Felt like an idiot every single time.
I've gotten on the wrong train a few times. That's a real genius move right there, because it's not as though there aren't signs all over the place, plus the loudspeaker announcement, plus the train operator announcing the destination 10 times when you get on the train or anything. Nope, nosirree.
Leaving tomorrow morning
The wind was blowing almost horizontally, and really, really strong. A about 60-80 balloons were densely packed together in a huge flock, attached it seemed by strings to a railing. It appeared that the only seller was nearby but busy talking to a customer. My daughter asked for the horse shaped balloon which seemed to be the hardest one to reach - right in the centre of the pack and on the longest string very high up. I jumped to reach it and gave it a sharp yank down. Suddenly the whole tangled pack of balloons appeared to free themselves from their moorings and speed off down the street in the gale-force wind. I went AWOL and started running after them shouting "Stop the balloons!" as if they were guilty of murder. I finally caught up with them and dived into the pack to grab onto the tangled mass of strings, but instead landed on the shoulders of the seller's assistant who was totally obscured in the middle as he pulled the pack down the street to sell. Totally shocked he jolted back and looked me like as if I was some escaped inmate from mars. A stander-by had witnessed the whole scene from start to finish and was splitting his sides with laughter having correctly understood why I was behaving in this way. He did his best to explain to the seller but understandably he wasn't having any of it. I went back to to my wife and daughter who were also looking at me totally bemused, and almost ashen faced suggested we buy some balloons from a different seller. A moment of madness that all took place in the space of about 15 seconds.
Same here. It's also restores my faith in humanity somewhat knowing that an observant, late night passerby wouldn't be an asshole and rob me.
Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb!
:get_on_my_level: of dumb.
In my defense, he was really smart.
:comedy_gold:
So it WAS there??
I swear I must have cracked my pelvis on a turnstile or two in my time. They really know how to place that bar at perfect junk level.
I'll just leave this here http://www.soulstrut.com/index.php/forums/viewthread/75720/ and promptly see my dumb ass out of this thread.
PS-Fuck pro flowers, they are overpriced and often times the product is absolute shit. Just hit up google.com for some local flower shops in the area you want to have flowers sent to...they will be cheaper and will normally be much better...and local business support blahblahblah.
Complete with "Spastic" clapping.
Holy shit, that must have been a thing of beauty to witness. Did you get stuck paying for the lost balloons?
Yeah, local spots were either closed when I needed to order them or couldn't guarantee delivery. Unfortunately, the delivery she got from 1-800 looked like they had been stomped on and snapped in half by the delivery driver. (Mothers' Day gift for my sis.) They refunded me quickly though.
In February I tried to take a Cold & Flu capsule on the tube, but did so attempting not to touch it with my fingers as there was a lot of Norovirus around at the time and I didn't want to combine my cold with a stomach disorder. Anyway, literally hamfistedly & using only my knuckles, I managed to split the capsule and spill white powder all down my face and onto my lap. There was a woman opposite me, watching.
The incident that takes the biscuit occurred about 10 years ago. I was driving home from college and for some absolutely unknown reason (a moment of madness, as all the best dumbass moments are) I decided to get out of the car whilst waiting stationary at some traffic lights (I may have wanted to check my rear tyre to see if it was adequately inflated?) and absentmindedly locked the door behind me. The engine was still running of course. The lights changed to green and I was rattling the door handle in a tragic and futile manner. I shouted to a passer-by "excuse me, do you know how to break into a car?" (he walked on by) and I shrug-gestured to the cars behind me who were by now steering around my stupid locked car. Thankfully (!) I noticed a half brick by the side of the road and used it to smash the quarterglass on the rear side and reached in to open the door. Then got in and drove off, sweating.
My depiction of events probably wasn't clear, but nothing was lost because the balloons weren't actually blowing away as I thought. They only appeared that way because the small-framed seller who was dragging them down the street was totally obscured by them as they billowed about in the wind and fallen leaves. I thought I had yanked them all free when I tried to pull one of them because it was precisely at this moment that he decided to walk (very briskly) down the street taking them all with him in the same direction as the wind. I thought I was about to be responsible for losing all his stock which is why I went a little crazy and leapt on them, only to land on his shoulders....
It wasn't. I must have sneezed non-stop for 2 hours. I will say, I was quite lightheaded for awhile there, so Mission Accomplished!
That's-a one spicy-a hotta meat-a-ball!
Mincing up jalapenos and garlic and stuff, then taking your contacts out. "My eyes! The hand-washing does nothing!"
BONUS BEATS: Even after a good soak and a thorough rinse-off, my contacts still burned like hell when I tried to put them in the following day. Genius, I tells ya.
The Atari Breakout thread reminded me of a stupid stupid thing I did back when I was 17 or so, summer of '73.
My buddy and I hitchhiked to Santa Fe and spent the summer living in my brothers dirty movie theater, when we were not out in the desert helping some of his friends build a house.
Knowing that pot was cheaper in NM a friend of my buddies gave him $200 to pick up a kilo and freight it back to him by Greyhound.
We got it, put it in a box and went to the Greyhound station all kinds of suspect.
To take any suspicion away from our box we told the agent that we were mailing Navajo rugs back.
In our stupidity we didn't think how much more valuable rugs were than pot.
His buddy received an empty box.
But the Greyhound station had something we never saw before.
Pong.
We only had a few dollars which soon belonged Atari.