What's the first thing someone rebuts to you when you tell them your profession?
downtownrobbrown
446 Posts
Me > Landscape Architect
Them > "You gotta come over to my place and look at my front yard."
Them > "You gotta come over to my place and look at my front yard."
Comments
them - wow, me too....you know this application called photoshop....it??s great!
job in hawaii and new job in NY, separate industries. does that make me a scumbag overall?
them - Why was my train late today?
"So do you make bombs or grow hairs on lemons?"
John
"Oh I heard you guys get free ________" (pick one of the following: food, haircuts, oil changes, handjobs, daycare, computers, bicycles...etc)
"Nice, have you heard ______?" (Record label-r)
My initial answer is weighted heavily on the artsy vs. Chad ratio of the situation.
Them: Can you look at my laptop? These pr0n0 popups keep happening...
I want to say "Mortician" but I bite my lip.
Them: Zzzzzzzzz
Them: "No, seriously, I'm interested, tell me about it."
..........ten minutes later.............
Them: *glassy eyed, suicidal look in their eyes* "Uh, right, anyway, I have to go...over there.....for something........"
them: "oh really? what's your speciality?"
me: food
Me: (to myself):The pr0n YOU look at...the couponing fuck-shit your wife probably signs up for and the browser toolbar add-ons you BOTH mindlessly install on your machine....
Me: (outloud): The internet is a dirty whore...
Here goes:
Me: I'm a college professor
Them: Oh, so you teach? It must be nice to be off all summer.
Then, I have to go on to explain how little a part of my job teaching happens to be. I also do research, mentor doctoral students, sit on editorial boards for five research journals (reading a shitload of papers), serve in leadership capacities in several professional organizations, and so on. My mom still doesn't get what I do.
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
Them: "Have you ever met Justin/Angelina/J Lo/Clooney?" and "Can you get me a free subscription?"
"Oh...is that like, playing Sim City?"
them: can you fix my computer?
them: do you not get bored watching grass grow?
Them: Bored!
"Can you get me a job? I heard you have to know someone to get hired there."
"So you're a lawyer?"
"Can you help me with my charges?"
Them: Oh cool. What kind of stuff?
Me: "Gifty" stuff. Wrapped soaps, candles, a lot of packaging???
Them: Uhhhh. Oh. Cool. (proceeds to change the topic)
"My (boyfriend/son/uncle/cousin/homey) got a group too! You guys should link up!!"
"Is it like a Kanye type thing?"
And my favorite:
"what else do you do?"
them: something about poop.
Them: "..."
Now, sometimes during general conversations, I will pipe in in defense of "the media." Generally, though, no one cares how I make a buck.