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Willie Wonka: what an a-hole of a capitalist pig employer

skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
edited October 2011 in Strut Central
Dude sacked all the fucking workers, knowing there was only one other game in town - the Toothpaste factory - thus condemning Bucket's family and them to starvation courtesy of Toothpaste dudes monopoly on the job market.

Then he gets a gang of immigrants in, and subjects them to a form of slavery by paying them in cocoa beans in a shabby echo of giving shiny glass beads to dem Indians in return for Manhattan Island.

Then he tries to ensnare a group of kids by promises of chocolate for life if they visit his sorry, horny peedo ass in his nerd fantasy factory.

Shameful shit.

  Comments

  • The-gafflerThe-gaffler 2,190 Posts
  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Damn, Gaffler dude.

    I remember when you used to have some fun on here.
  • vintageinfantsvintageinfants 4,537 Posts
    #OCCUPYWONKAFACTORY
  • batmonbatmon 27,574 Posts
    Cheer up Charlieeeeeeee....
  • The-gafflerThe-gaffler 2,190 Posts
    skel said:
    Damn, Gaffler dude.

    I remember when you used to have some fun on here.

    sorry, i'm not thinking too clear. i've been sick in bed all weekend and i just got real stoned.
  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts
    skel said:
    chocolate...

    ...Shameful shit.

    Let me tell you all about the one WONKA.

    Yesterday we visited Newark (not the one in NJ), which features an Olde Worlde Sweet Shoppe. In the Window, there is a Wonka chocolate bar (these are imports over here). #1 son is flipping, because like, it's been Roald Dahl month at school and he is mad fam. He's all "Can I have can I have...?"

    I am like, "No. You scoffed a bag of Galaxy counters in the car on the way in, you didn't offer any out, and besides, as all Euroman know... 'Meriman chocolate is like non-US-and-A-rapp."

    But yo, wifey steps up and OVERRIDES me like some emasculating Valkyrie, and is all "I never tasted one of them sh1ts, let him buy a bar."

    Reluctantly I hand him a voucher for ??5 (FIVE STERLING POUNDS) of Her Majesty's bullion, and he goes into the shop. 5 seconds later, he's out with the bar, ripping that sh1t open for a golden ticket. I say, "Yo. YO!. Where is my change, son?" whilst wifey confiscates the tattered bar.

    #1 son apologises, goes back into the shop and comes back out with the change. The change is 1p (ONE ENGLISH PENCE).

    I am like, "NO, noo...." and we enter said Shoppe for the real change.

    Shoppe dude is all, "No that is how much they are. They are from America, see?"

    I would have handed it back, but as #1 had already ('Coop is already filling in the blank) actioned the bar to shreds, it was a done deal.

    Outside I beckoned wifey to bust that sh1t out, in the hope that perhaps, a FIVE-F*CKING-QUID bar of chocolate tasted the equivalent 4x better than your upper-ech Euroman chocolate.

    I'll tell you what it tasted like: Like rat sh1t mixed with emasculation, robbery and dejection.

    FUG A WONKA.


    Srs, doe, Dahl led an interesting life - lots of shooting folks in the global unpleasantness etc.
  • pimlicosquirrelpimlicosquirrel 772 Posts
    "The game's out there, and it's play or get played. That simple."
  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts
    The f*cker even had a gold ticket inside with a "Present this at the factory gates on the 1st October" and shit (Chumpa-lumpa-R).

    Wonka got his hands in the ay-er, like he a true player.
  • DuttyBabylonDuttyBabylon 125 Posts
  • rootlesscosmorootlesscosmo 12,848 Posts
    dahl was a hater.
  • rootlesscosmorootlesscosmo 12,848 Posts
    http://www.roalddahlfans.com/books/charoompa.php

  • RishanRishan 454 Posts
    thread of the year!
  • mannybolonemannybolone Los Angeles, CA 15,025 Posts
    Jimster's post = :comedy_gold:
  • AlmondAlmond 1,427 Posts
    But yo, wifey steps up and OVERRIDES me like some emasculating Valkyrie, and is all "I never tasted one of them sh1ts, let him buy a bar."

    Lol. Jimster, I apologize on behalf of 'Meriman chocolate. Hershey's is plain shameful (sorry, Enki).

    I ride for See's, though, which prob costs more than $5 in Eurotown.
  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    ??4.99? From America? :-P
  • jjfad027jjfad027 1,594 Posts

    I ride for See's, though,





    My friends wife literally rides for See's


    They've always got boxes of those suckers. I love it.
  • The-gafflerThe-gaffler 2,190 Posts
    Put your trust in See's, and not some other chocolate confectionary sponsor you have seen appear on an American rappeur's NASCAR jacket. Poo poo. See's is the heartbeat of the NHRA.

    Now that's worth your Queen's eagle.
  • The-gafflerThe-gaffler 2,190 Posts
    It doesn't matter the age. Who isn't enchanted at the sight of ye olde See's shoppe with its grandeur and partially tapped windows.

  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,473 Posts
    Almond said:
    But yo, wifey steps up and OVERRIDES me like some emasculating Valkyrie, and is all "I never tasted one of them sh1ts, let him buy a bar."

    Lol. Jimster, I apologize on behalf of 'Meriman chocolate. Hershey's is plain shameful (sorry, Enki).


    I'll let it slide because, yeah, Hershey's is just a cheap, mass-market solution to the need for a chocolate fix, but I still have a lot of hometown pride. HERSHEY FO LIFE!
  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Who rides for the Reese peanut butter in a chocolate flan thing? Three in a pack, little shallow black paper holders, lairy orange and yellow wrapper. That's Meriman chocolate right there.

    Stuff is good if you are feeling like you might pass out.

    Desperately-seeking-sugar rush-R
  • PATXPATX 2,820 Posts
    American confectionery summed up:

    Programs included in peanut subsidies
    Program Total Payments
    1995-2010
    Peanut Quota Buyout Program $1,288,966,798
    Counter Cyclical Payment - Peanuts $948,590,558
    Direct Payment - Peanuts $481,282,575
    Crop Ins. Premium Subsidy - Peanuts $364,371,848
    Peanut Marketing Assistance $172,798,128
    Market Gains Warehouse - Peanuts $67,380,880
    Loan Deficiency - Peanuts $26,437,421
    Commodity Certificates - Peanuts $16,572,530
    Market Gains Farm - Peanuts $255,380
    Loan Def. Refund - Peanuts $-7,419
    Loan Def. Refund - Peanuts $-9,082

    http://farm.ewg.org/progdetail.php?fips=00000&progcode=peanuts
  • The-gafflerThe-gaffler 2,190 Posts
    COUNTING
    ENDLESS
    PEANUTS
  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts
    skel said:
    Who rides for the Reese peanut butter in a chocolate flan thing?

    YOU DIRTY, DIRTY BASTARD.
  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    There's not a lot of choice left at the local station spot when you won't eat Cadbury's on moral grounds, and are sick of the red Bounty.

    I ride hard for the red Bounty, and the green Fry's but every now and then get the irrational craving for that salty peanut (no ayo) and chocolate combo that previously a Star Bar might have quenched.

    KILL ME NOW.
  • staxwaxstaxwax 1,474 Posts
    mannybolone said:
    Jimster's post = :comedy_gold:



    Peep me being all magnanimous, while having sarcy salt on display in other threads.

    As I aged, I lost my enthusiasm for sweets.
    These days, Im all about the savoury, and beyond.

    I'll even venture into bitter and slimey asian territory before I eat some overly sweet shit. pause.

    Grown men who are into candy are usually soft, and quite often, they come up short in the game of life.

    I'll still snatch candy from a baby tho.

    :dominoes:
  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,955 Posts
    Could I offer you a piece of a hypothetical "Ian Brown/Willy Wonka" collabo bar that tasted of ??100 quids worth of finest chinese?
  • staxwaxstaxwax 1,474 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    Could I offer you a piece of a hypothetical "Ian Brown/Willy Wonka" collabo bar that tasted of ??100 quids worth of finest chinese?



    +



    +



    =
    :balla: :balla: :balla: :balla:
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