Anybody heard any good jokes lately?

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  • DJ_EnkiDJ_Enki 6,471 Posts
    Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb??

    A: 4, 1 to screw it in and 3 to right a song about it.

    Q: How many squirrels does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: Just two, but good luck getting them inside a light bulb.


  • PunditPundit 438 Posts
    Q: How many rednecks does it take to screw in a light bulb??

    A: 4, 1 to screw it in and 3 to right a song about it.

    Q: How many squirrels does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    A: Just two, but good luck getting them inside a light bulb.


    how many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

    a fish.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,885 Posts
    This chap walks into a pub and to his astonishment, notices that there's a chap stood at the bar who has a huge orange for a head. Despite his curiousity, the chap decides not to pry and sits down quietly.

    After a few drinks, curiosity has overcome the chap and he decides to enquire.

    "Excuse me, mate, but I couldn't help noticing you have a big orange for a head. What happened?"

    "Well," says the man with the big orange for a head, "I moved into a large old house not so long ago. One afternoon, I decided to explore the attic and found an old brass lamp in the corner. I rubbed the lamp and a Genie popped out, explained he had been trapped in there for two hundred years, and would grant me three wishes for releasing him."

    "So what did you ask for first?" asks the curious chap.

    "I asked for ten million pounds. The Genie clapped his hands, there was a flash of lightning, and he asked me to phone the bank, who confirmed my balance was now ten million pounds!"

    "What did you ask for with your second wish?"

    "Well, I asked if I could make love to the ten most beautiful women in the world. Again, the Genie clapped his hands, there was a flash of lightning, and the doorbell rang. Ten supermodels ran in, picked me up, carried me to bed, and ravished me all night!"

    "Wow," says the curious chap, "What did you ask for with your third wish?"




















































    "A big orange for a head."

  • This chap walks into a pub and to his astonishment, notices that there's a chap stood at the bar who has a huge orange for a head. Despite his curiousity, the chap decides not to pry and sits down quietly.

    After a few drinks, curiosity has overcome the chap and he decides to enquire.

    "Excuse me, mate, but I couldn't help noticing you have a big orange for a head. What happened?"

    "Well," says the man with the big orange for a head, "I moved into a large old house not so long ago. One afternoon, I decided to explore the attic and found an old brass lamp in the corner. I rubbed the lamp and a Genie popped out, explained he had been trapped in there for two hundred years, and would grant me three wishes for releasing him."

    "So what did you ask for first?" asks the curious chap.

    "I asked for ten million pounds. The Genie clapped his hands, there was a flash of lightning, and he asked me to phone the bank, who confirmed my balance was now ten million pounds!"

    "What did you ask for with your second wish?"

    "Well, I asked if I could make love to the ten most beautiful women in the world. Again, the Genie clapped his hands, there was a flash of lightning, and the doorbell rang. Ten supermodels ran in, picked me up, carried me to bed, and ravished me all night!"

    "Wow," says the curious chap, "What did you ask for with your third wish?"




















































    "A big orange for a head."

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