TAKE THAT SHIT TO THE-BRITS.COM

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  • pcmrpcmr 5,591 Posts
    if yanited gets ramos they will be serious contenders especially if they manage to integrate di maria correctly and get the right striker

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    'Serious contenders' based on a whole load of 'ifs'.

    United's signings should improve them, but I didn't really see anything about the way they were managed last season that says this new lot will likely gell quickly into a team this season. After spending a shit load last summer they still looked very shaky. They're still a team very much in transition, a couple of bad games and they will struggle again.

  • pcmrpcmr 5,591 Posts
    yeah it will take time to gel quickly but i could see a loaded yanited squd do well in the summer win the first 5 and voila

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    Delph done deal, doe.


  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    "Come to City! Stall your career and never get in the National side again!"

    Is Delph even that good? He's never impressed me in games against the Arse. He doesn't seem to do much in an England shirt either. But City do like to buy these Englsih players to keep their bench warm. Are English bottoms superior in a seat warming capacity? Maybe that's just some weird fetish that only the beyond super rich can answer. Brit Strut Abroad to speak on it? I'm sure Duder at least has do some related reserch into the subject.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    Got to get the Brit quota up to satisfy the hatters.

    They'll do for the FA Cup.

    Personally I think Nasri needs a kick up the backside so more pressure on him to graft is welcome.

    Speaking of other City mids who needed to grasp the concept of putting a shift in, good article here:

    http://www.football365.com/chelsea/9915422/Robinho-The-Wonderkid-Who-Never-Grew-Up

    In a bingo card for washed-up footballers, Robinho is close to shouting "house" while elderly ladies give him death stares. A free transfer...check. To a Chinese club...check. On a six-month contract...check. To wear shirt No. 60...check.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    No offence Jim but City are so tawdry and underhand. staffed by all manner of snides or bores at all levels.
    Seems completely joyless tbh.

  • discos_almadiscos_alma discos_alma 2,164 Posts
    Happy about the Sterling move because he honestly just had a pretty poor season, and he wasn't delivering. City will be a better place for him I think, and we will get better use out of a different player.

    However, not so happy about immediately going for Benteke. He's definitely an awesome player, but too streaky to be worth that $$$$$$$, IMO, money that could be better spent elsewhere. Benteke had a pretty horrible first half of last season, and only really started cracking in the last two months of the 15 season (when he looked unstoppable I'll admit).

    Stoked about Milner and Firmino joining Liverpool. Gomez also is looking sharp in the pre-season matches.

    About to go watch Gerrard vs Barcelona next week in Los Angeles (Rose Bowl), will report back. No Messi or Neymar, but apparently Suarez will be there along with the rest of the squad. (The most excitement us Merrimen can hope for over the summer!)

  • $180 the cheapest ticket to see Utd v Barca in a bullshit pre-season friendly.
    Fuck that.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    skel said:
    No offence Jim but

    :lol:



    Raheem Sterling must be so thankful to Delph for grabbing the limelight from him. My god.


  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts



  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,903 Posts
    Duderonomy said:




    So awesome. John Oliver is going to be pissed he didn't think of doing this first.

  • OkemOkem 4,617 Posts
    I wonder when this prank show of his will be aired? Throwing money at Blatter is pretty classic, but I'm willing to bet it won't be very funny.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    skel said:
    No offence Jim but City are so tawdry and underhand. staffed by all manner of snides or bores at all levels.
    Seems completely joyless tbh.

    Worked well for Un*ted.

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    skel said:
    No offence Jim but City are so tawdry and underhand. staffed by all manner of snides or bores at all levels.
    Seems completely joyless tbh.

    Worked well for Un*ted.

    Football equivalent of inflatable sex doll.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    skel said:
    J i m s t e r said:
    skel said:
    No offence Jim but City are so tawdry and underhand. staffed by all manner of snides or bores at all levels.
    Seems completely joyless tbh.

    Worked well for Un*ted.

    Football equivalent of inflatable sex doll.

    HAVE YOU EVEN F*CKED AN INFLATABLE SEX DOLL?

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    skel said:
    J i m s t e r said:
    skel said:
    No offence Jim but City are so tawdry and underhand. staffed by all manner of snides or bores at all levels.
    Seems completely joyless tbh.

    Worked well for Un*ted.

    Football equivalent of inflatable sex doll.

    HAVE YOU EVEN F*CKED AN INFLATABLE SEX DOLL?

    GETS EM EMPTIED BUT NO CUDDLES AFTER

    Note to self: business opportunity; doll with thermal post ejac snuggle mode; possible voice box activation just as you nod off: wants to talk, itinery for the weekend, bathroom colourways etc etc

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    skel said:
    doll with thermal post ejac snuggle mode; possible voice box activation just as you nod off: wants to talk, itinery for the weekend, bathroom colourways etc etc

    That feature list answers questions that no man is asking.

    Unless it's Elton John and David Furnish.


  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    skel said:
    doll with thermal post ejac snuggle mode; possible voice box activation just as you nod off: wants to talk, itinery for the weekend, bathroom colourways etc etc

    That feature list answers questions that no man is asking.

    Unless it's Elton John and David Furnish.



    On reflection, I'm seeing a post-bang dropdown menu, with selections ranging from "read a book love, I'm knackered" through the median option of "yes, please DO lay your head on my shoulder such that I will be clammy and uncomfortable all night PLUS lose the use of that arm ALL DAY tomorrow" to the full nuclear "more than delighted to chat for 6 hours about how many kids you want, the birthing plans, how your mum so wants to be a grannie BUT NOT NAN, OK??!1!!, your favoritest ever birthday present when you were 6" etc etc.
    Could be a winner, Jim.
    I'm also seeing a 200db snore button, drool control and a toilet tripometer randomly set between 2 and 5. Programmable Tourette's sleep-talk function might be a step too far doe.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    Just throwing a few out there:

    "Has to have the telly on to fall asleep" option*
    "Solitaire on phone until 3AM as can't sleep" tapping motion
    Realistic "500ft/lb Quilt reclaim" action
    "Diamond-tipped elbow in ribs to reset man snore" option
    "Spray sleeping man with choice of toxic air-freshener for unconscious trump" plug-in


    *requires Gnat-Attention-Span-Channel-Hopping 2.0 or above, and nail-clatter-on-TV-whizzer 1.0

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    J i m s t e r said:
    Just throwing a few out there:

    "Has to have the telly on to fall asleep" option*
    "Solitaire on phone until 3AM as can't sleep" tapping motion
    Realistic "500ft/lb Quilt reclaim" action
    "Diamond-tipped elbow in ribs to reset man snore" option
    "Spray sleeping man with choice of toxic air-freshener for unconscious trump" plug-in


    *requires Gnat-Attention-Span-Channel-Hopping 2.0 or above, and nail-clatter-on-TV-whizzer 1.0

    YES

    Add on: DoYouKnowWhatTimeItIs chemical analyser that detects alcohol after sleep mode has activated, plus LED eyes that project the time onto the wall, with free GPS map to exact sofa location

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,903 Posts
    Are we doing the pool again this year? I did so shite last go, I'm looking to redeem myself.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    DOR said:
    Are we doing the pool again this year? I did so shite last go, I'm looking to redeem myself.

    J i m s t e r said:
    We open for bithnith again, batches.
    FREE TO PLAY.
    http://fantasy.premierleague.com/
    Code to join this league: 175648-47145




    Man U bid 100 million for Thomas Muller?

  • DORDOR Two Ron Toe 9,903 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    DOR said:
    Are we doing the pool again this year? I did so shite last go, I'm looking to redeem myself.

    J i m s t e r said:
    We open for bithnith again, batches.
    FREE TO PLAY.
    http://fantasy.premierleague.com/
    Code to join this league: 175648-47145




    TA

    Was that posted in this thread? I didn't even see it... Maybe the universe telling me to not let myself look like a complete idiot again.


    Crazy money for Muller. I doubt it would happen. Is Man U's new strategy just to take on the German national team for their own? It would probably work better than REDS trying to bring over the whole of Southampton.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    I poasted it as an actual thraed in itself.

    'Meriman bait.

    I will bomp it for make benefit shits and giggles.

  • DuderonomyDuderonomy Haut de la Garenne 7,789 Posts
    Skel, my linked in Banditos... mission statement was strangely prophetic. What's the real headz advice on 3rd party involvement?

  • skelskel You can't cheat karma 5,033 Posts
    Duderonomy said:
    Skel, my linked in Banditos... mission statement was strangely prophetic. What's the real headz advice on 3rd party involvement?

    I still LOL that we endorsed you for Birth, Hand Knitting and Tennis Elbow.

    Speak more on 3rd party involvement in being a love bandit.

    We talking a roast situation?
    Depends on male/female ratio.
    And also if any of you have a friendship.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    Minimum one dwarf or your (sic) soft.

  • JimsterJimster Cruffiton.etsy.com 6,952 Posts
    IIRC, Trombone optional, St*ve?

  • discos_almadiscos_alma discos_alma 2,164 Posts
    LA Galaxy vs Barcelona recap:

    MLS tenacity is definitely something. The Galaxy's counterattack was vicious when it needed to be. b/w congrats to NY Red Bulls for crushing Chelsea. :beerbang:

    Iniesta shut shit down. Was a total pleasure to witness dude literally run circles around people for the 45 minutes he played.
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