Having Kids: Worth It or Hell No!?

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  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    A friend and I had a conversation recently about dating and single moms.

    I can???t think of one male friend who wouldn???t date a woman because she had a kid with someone else (beyond the guys who already have or are in such a relationship now). And the single moms I do know, have no shortage of suitors ??? they???re not dating willy-nilly for obvious reasons - but the kid(s) aren???t really scaring anyone off lol.

    And in cases it doesn???t work out, in post-break-up would it be reasonable if the kid and BF wanted to maintain a relationship?

    Would folks agree the stigma is fading and that the higher incidence of growing up with a single mom has resulted in men who do not have the same hang-ups that existed 20-30 yrs ago?

  • Men just find new hang-ups.

    "ugly elbows"

    :P

  • Big_StacksBig_Stacks "I don't worry about hittin' power, cause I don't give 'em nuttin' to hit." 4,670 Posts
    A friend and I had a conversation recently about dating and single moms.

    I can???t think of one male friend who wouldn???t date a woman because she had a kid with someone else (beyond the guys who already have or are in such a relationship now). And the single moms I do know, have no shortage of suitors ??? they???re not dating willy-nilly for obvious reasons - but the kid(s) aren???t really scaring anyone off lol.

    And in cases it doesn???t work out, in post-break-up would it be reasonable if the kid and BF wanted to maintain a relationship?

    Would folks agree the stigma is fading and that the higher incidence of growing up with a single mom has resulted in men who do not have the same hang-ups that existed 20-30 yrs ago?

    Hey Bassie,

    I must confess, I had this hang-up when I was dating. I adamantly did not want a "ready-made" family. I would prefer to spend some exclusive time with my spouse (if it went that route) before involving kids in the equation (who would take our "one-on-one" time away). Plus, a lot of the kids were of the "Bebe's kids" variety anyway, so I wouldn't want to be their "Father Figure" down the line. So yes, there are men out there who prefer not to date women with kids, but it didn't stop me from going out with them. Then again, I'd say up front that I didn't want a committed relationship.

    Peace,

    Big Stacks from Kakalak

  • BurnsBurns 2,227 Posts

    I can???t think of one male friend who wouldn???t date a woman because she had a kid with someone else (beyond the guys who already have or are in such a relationship now).



    Lets just say you have to work and strategize a little harder when your a single daddy trying to date a single lady with no kids. I've been rejected once they found out I had a kid, its tough, but it shows what kind of person they are inside if they can't deal with the reality of my situation. I ain't lookin for no new momma.

    If I was a single woman with no kids, I wouldn't want a man with any kids. Just me though.

  • bassiebassie 11,710 Posts
    I didn't mean to discount single fathers, I just don't know any with fulltime custody.
    If (and when) I was a single woman, it wouldn't/didn't matter to me if he was a father already...as long as he wasn't a deadbeat one.

  • NateBizzoNateBizzo 2,328 Posts
    Just found out I'm having a girl. Have mercy on my soul.

  • phongonephongone 1,652 Posts
    Just found out I'm having a girl. Have mercy on my soul.

    CONGRATS!

  • Just found out I'm having a girl. Have mercy on my soul.

    I dunno, I think girls are easier to raise than boys.
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