Convincing Housemates to Clean (NRR, obvi)
Almond
1,427 Posts
I am one of 5 girls living in a townhouse in a college town. We have the nastiest college kitchen I've seen. It's not that bad, it's just that everyone else's is cleaner. I made up a cleaning schedule, and 2 of the messy ones don't seem to want to follow it. I mean, I can't make them, and one of them responds with, "Well, I just clean up my own messes," as if she deserves some reward for putting her eggs back in the fridge. Maybe this means that she only sweeps 1/5 of the floor.The other individual leaves pots on the stove for a week at a time. Instead of transferring the food to one of our 1,984,981 Tupperwares, she just sticks the whole pot in the fridge, taking up all the space. I went up to her room and told her that she can use my Tupperware so she doesn't have to leave her stuff in pots anymore. Hasn't worked yet.I want to be nice about it, as a house of girls + tension = NAGL. PS Zappa is some of my favorite vinyl to clean to.How do I get the girls to clean without coming across as a bitch?[/b] I'm sure there are other threads out there, but the search function didn't help me.
Comments
Impossible. Say "F*ck it", be messy too, and move into your own place as soon as possible.
Answer: move out.
If you really want to go there, make rules, have everyone sign, create monetary penalties (say... $5 for pots of spent food on the stove) and collect. They'll learn, or they'll leave. At worst put the dirty pots on their pillow(s) if they don't follow it.
But seriously it's a lot easier to find people who actually care.
If I kept my crib like that there would be roaches everywhere.
There is no way to do this if the person hasn't figured it out yet. I speak as someone who was a complete prick to some of my own roommates over the years when I say, DON'T WORRY ABOUT COMING ACROSS AS A BITCH, THEY KNOW THEY ARE WRONG[/b].
As such, you are NOT being a bitch, they are being inconsiderate and if you say nothing that only gives them an excuse ("You never said anything, how was I supposed to know?").
If those ladies didnt learn this shit at home growing up, I doubt theyre gonna learn how to be clean/neat in college.
Its a lifestyle choice.
Maybe plan a reward/goal type thing that the whole house would enjoy, say if you can keep the kitchen clean for 1 week.
Or like JP said move out.
Another thing that we can never measure is how their laziness slowly beats down on your own will to clean. I.e., Why mop when no one else even sweeps?
PS I will be moving out come graduation. But I'll still be paying rent on the lease, unless we sublease. Roommate situation before this was mad drama, but the house was spotless. My parents try to drop by unexpectedly so they can try to clean bc they think it's unhygienic. I don't let them, though.
They will probably report your email as spam.
On top of their messes I bet their girlfriends and boyfriends who come over to party/visit also add onto this landfill. Mine would. Burned me up that we would have to clean up after roommates' douchebag friends.
Pathetic. The root of the issues has been uncovered. We protect little girls (and boys too) from responsibility so they grow up to be worthless. I deal with the fallout of this bullshit every day as a college prof. I challenge a student a little bit and he/she will whine like a littly sissy. We're raising a generation of f*ckin' pussies with no backbone or "gumption."
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
P.S. Almond, you need to move out. You're persnickety like me so you'll never be successful living with roommates. When I got my own spot (after living with roommates for my first two years of grad school), my quality of life improved 10-fold. Get your own spot!!!
Haha! Time to break out the Boredoms and some Sunn O))) and turn that shit to 11.
Hey Almond,
I have two words for you: Stafford Loans. You could get just enough to supplement your increase in rent for your new 1-bedroom apartment. They have low-interest rate terms, generous payback schedules, and I paid mine off early. The peace of mind is worth the money!!!
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
I'll play my worst records every time I clean and I'll clean all the time. They'll be miserable, but their assess will be sitting on a clean toilet seat for it.
Say this to their faces. This is passive-aggressive.
Cleanliness > Friendship.
Almond, Batmon is completely, 100% on point here.
Ask ANY married couple - no matter how blissfully coupled - if keeping the apt/house clean is a source of tension and I'd be f*cking flabbergasted if the majority of people didn't say, "hell yeah, it's an issue."
So this whole "I value our friendship more than cleaniness" thing only works if none of you give a F*ck about the cleaniness, in which case, there's no conflict. If you want to save the friendship:
1) move out
2) make them move out
3) lower your standards
4) hope they raise theirs
Peace,
Big Stacks from Kakalak
I can dig all this. It's easy for people to say "Move out," but it's hard to do it, due to circumstances like yours.
I think you just have to be the bad guy. Any friend who's going to going to cause a whole lot of drama let the friendship get messed up over some dishes might not be a friend worth working to keep.
I lived off-campus with three other guys in college and one of them had to get up in our asses (no ayo) from time to time about cleaning habits. We sort of hated at the time but he's still my friend.
Fusk that.
LOL. this is why i love you, stacks. im glad youre teaching the youth.
almond, youre letter was good, but it is passive to send letter rather than email. you could have talked on, "i really want to get up with all of you asap, about this and set shit straight". this needs to be face to face.
i might be the only one who DOESNT recommend moving out. youre in school...the social shit is a learning process too and you gotta learn how to deal with coworkers, partners, roommates who dont hold up their end in the common space. economists call this "tragedy of the commons". same issues are manifested in communities too...moving out is one option, but its beneficial for the world to try to train people better.
you gotta have a house meeting. the shy girls too. together, establish baseline acceptable cleanliness for common areas: kitchen, bathroom, tv area ( i remember that getting pretty foul). basics, like "do not prep food if youre going to leave the counter where someone else cant use it" "dont leave a sink full of dishes so someone else cant wash their things" "put leftovers in tupperware so someone else can use a pot when they want". shit dont haev to be spic and span, but there should be a baseline that everyone can agree on. job wheels are kinda gay and only work when everyone is motivated. i always liked a sign off list...when you do something, write date, name and chore you did on a central list. another list can be chores that need to get done (you might not have time, but you can write it up on the list. should be pretty obvious who created it) yall can get together over a beer and review it once a week.
be patient and keep up the good fight. you will do them a great service sa well as yourself if you see this through. have a sense of humour about it, but take no mess. dishes are ALWAYS the source of household friction.
my ex girl would work 3 days a week. the other 4 days (while i was at work) she sat around on AIM trying to talk to me at work..
she never:
took the garbage out
washed the dishes
fed the cat
checked the mail
this is why she is my ex girlfriend
moral of the story: move out! or kick them out!
or something
shit is gross son!